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“At That Moment I Snapped”: Woman Erases Every Trace Of Man’s Ex-Wife, Realizes She Messed Up
Jealousy is a typical human emotion that serves an evolutionary purpose. However, it can get to an unhealthy level that could prove detrimental to a relationship. As this story shows, such cases could lead to potentially irreparable consequences.
A woman had grown insecure about her husband’s late wife, whom she saw as perfect and well-loved. Her bitterness got the best of her one day, and she ended up throwing out and deleting all the old photos of the deceased spouse.
Her husband didn’t find out until two years later, which caused much misery and distrust in their relationship. She has now turned to the internet to open up and find answers to fix her potentially damaged marriage.
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Jealousy can be toxic and destructive enough to ruin a marriage
Image credits: Vika Glitter (not the actual photo)
A woman threw out and deleted all photos of her husband’s late wife
Image credits: Karolina Grabowska (not the actual photo)
She didn’t tell him until two years later, and the two of them have been rocky since
Image credits: Timur Weber (not the actual photo)
The author realized the gravity of what she’d done, and she asked the internet for some advice
Image source: NeurobiologicalFever
Image credits: Liza Summer (not the actual photo)
The stepdaughter provided her side of the story, which made the woman look much worse
Image credits: Alison Leedham (not the actual photo)
Image source: throawaydaughteroks
Small doses of jealousy can be beneficial for a romantic relationship
Image credits: Budgeron Bach (not the actual photo)
According to experts, a healthy amount of jealousy should be minuscule. In an interview with CNN, biological anthropologist Dr. Helen Fisher explained that these small jolts can “wake you up” and make you appreciate your partner more.
“When you’re reminded that your mate is attractive and that you’re lucky, it can stimulate you to be nicer [and] friendlier.”
However, there is a caveat. You can’t let jealousy linger without addressing it. In an interview with Cosmopolitan, relationship counselor and sex therapist Ammanda Major explained that the situation can become unhealthy if a person chooses jealousy to express the issues at hand.
Major also differentiated envy from jealousy, which is more destructive to a relationship. A classic example is preventing a partner from seeing their friends or even family. According to Major, this is when things can turn abusive.
People must allow their partners to go through the grieving process
Image credits: Timur Weber (not the actual photo)
It may have been years, but the wounds of his wife’s death must still be fresh for the husband. In this case, his current spouse should allow him to grieve.
Clinical psychologist Dr. Samantha Rodman Whiten (a.k.a. Dr. Psych Mom) wrote a column for her website when a reader asked about competing with a partner’s dead wife. Among her explanations, she stressed the importance of letting the grieving process unfold because preventing it may spell more significant trouble.
“Most couples who thrive after one or both were widowed are very respectful of their partner’s late spouse,” she wrote.
If the issue continues lingering, as in the author’s case, Dr. Whiten encourages seeking professional help. She advises focusing on early life and upbringing, as the behavior could be a sign of neglect and insecurity as a child.
The author may need to focus on working on herself more than anything else. She may have to face her unresolved issues to save her seemingly crumbling marriage. However, given the damage it caused her husband and stepdaughter, it will likely be an uphill climb.
What do you think, readers? What should the author do at this point?
Commenters didn’t hold back in their responses
Some shared similar experiences
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What do you think ?
LakotaWolf (she/her) 4 months ago
If this is true - what an absolutely evil act. The act of a shallow, self-centered narcissist who cannot handle that they aren't the Only Main Character of their husband's life. I hope the husband left her. I can't imagine his agony. Just because he kept PHOTOS of his previous wife doesn't mean he didn't LOVE OP. My boyfriend once dumped some of my dead dog's ashes into the toilet and flushed them because he was trying to make a point to me - that the "physical reminders" of dead pets and relatives are meaningless. That was over 10 years ago and I never forgave him. Spoilers: he never changed, he is still a horrible person like OP, and I'm getting out of the relationship finally. I hope OP's husband did the same.
TribbleThinking 4 months ago
Ye gods. I am so sorry, Lakota. He did make a point - underlining exactly the type of person he is. It gladdens my soul to hear you're breaking free. Truly well done.
Load More Replies...
Christos Arvanitis 4 months ago
I lost my long time girlfriend to cancer twenty years go this month. I married a few years after she died. My wife has never been jealous. In fact, we were just talking about how we are going to go to her grave and bring some flowers for the 20th anniversary of her passing.
TribbleThinking 4 months ago
Woman was rotten to start with. It's all I want, want, want. Wanted this man, wanted to not share, wanted the photos gone, right now. Want to put it right, ... only when discovered. Pah.
LakotaWolf (she/her) 4 months ago
If this is true - what an absolutely evil act. The act of a shallow, self-centered narcissist who cannot handle that they aren't the Only Main Character of their husband's life. I hope the husband left her. I can't imagine his agony. Just because he kept PHOTOS of his previous wife doesn't mean he didn't LOVE OP. My boyfriend once dumped some of my dead dog's ashes into the toilet and flushed them because he was trying to make a point to me - that the "physical reminders" of dead pets and relatives are meaningless. That was over 10 years ago and I never forgave him. Spoilers: he never changed, he is still a horrible person like OP, and I'm getting out of the relationship finally. I hope OP's husband did the same.
TribbleThinking 4 months ago
Ye gods. I am so sorry, Lakota. He did make a point - underlining exactly the type of person he is. It gladdens my soul to hear you're breaking free. Truly well done.
Load More Replies... Christos Arvanitis 4 months ago
I lost my long time girlfriend to cancer twenty years go this month. I married a few years after she died. My wife has never been jealous. In fact, we were just talking about how we are going to go to her grave and bring some flowers for the 20th anniversary of her passing.
TribbleThinking 4 months ago
Woman was rotten to start with. It's all I want, want, want. Wanted this man, wanted to not share, wanted the photos gone, right now. Want to put it right, ... only when discovered. Pah.
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