Bored Panda works better on our iPhone app
Continue in app Continue in browser

BoredPanda Add post form topAdd Post
Tooltip close

The Bored Panda iOS app is live! Fight boredom with iPhones and iPads here.

“The Best I Had In My Life”: Wife Regrets Open Marriage After Husband Finds Someone
222

“The Best I Had In My Life”: Wife Regrets Open Marriage After Husband Finds Someone

“The Best I Had In My Life”: Wife Regrets Open Marriage After Husband Finds Someone“I Don’t Want To”: Open Marriage Leads To Drama When The Husband Refuses To Close ItMan Unexpectedly Enjoys Open Marriage His Wife Forced Him Into, Refuses To Close it“Become Increasingly Jealous”: Wife Asks For An Open Marriage, Ends Up Regretting ItWoman Makes Husband Open Up Their Marriage, Regrets It When He Actually Enjoys ItMan Refuses To Go Back To Being Exclusive With Wife After She Made Him Agree To An Open MarriageWife Regrets Asking For Open Marriage After She Sees How Happy Her Husband Is With New WomanWoman Begs Husband To Close Their Open Marriage After Jealousy Hits, He Refuses“She Even Apologized”: Woman Requests An Open Marriage, Ends Up Getting JealousWife Threatens To Divorce Man If He Won’t Open Up Their Marriage, Regrets It When He Complies
ADVERTISEMENT

In the past, a less-than-happy marriage might simply end with a massive, blow-out fight or just a slow and steady death over a number of years. But these days, some couples try a more novel approach, by simply “opening” up the marriage.

A man asked the internet for advice after his wife wanted to close their marriage, despite it being her idea to open it. It would appear that she grew jealous of him developing a casual relationship with another person, even though she was perfectly successful at finding other people to date.

You May Also Like:

Open marriage don’t work for everyone, but they can be a last-ditch effort to save a relationship

Image credits: Alena Darmel  / Pexels (not the actual photo)

But one man didn’t want to “close” his marriage, despite it being his wife’s idea to open it

ADVERTISEMENT

Image credits: KATRIN BOLOVTSOVA / Pexels (not the actual photo)

ADVERTISEMENT

Image credits: NoComfort4957

Image credits: cottonbro studio / Pexels (not the actual photo)

Monogamy is not as dominant as one might initially think

While open marriages and relationships sound like something that have only really gained mainstream popularity in recent years, there is some evidence that they have been around for a couple of decades. One study conducted in 1983, over four decades ago, found that of 3,498 married couples, over 900 had an agreement to allow the man to have extramarital sex and over two hundred couples were in mutually open relationships.

ADVERTISEMENT

However, this doesn’t actually mean that open relationships are more and more common in 2024. It’s a relationship style that has gotten a lot of attention recently, as polyamorous couples in particular feel more comfortable sharing their stories online. That being said, there does not seem to be evidence that more couples are interested in this type of relationship. Similar research done in 1997 suggests that open relationships might even be on the decline.

The truth is that some couples may try an open relationship and quickly learn why monogamy is still the most common variant out there. Researchers found that around 80% of couples that tried an open relationship ended up dealing with major jealousy issues. This didn’t necessarily end this “setup” but it’s worth noting that a successful open relationship might often take a lot more work than a closed one.

Image credits: August de Richelieu  / Pexels (not the actual photo)

Like in any relationship, trust and communication end up still being key

Ultimately, successful open relationships are the ones that are mutual. This seems like common sense, but as this story demonstrates, many people don’t look past whatever their initial gains may be and wind up regretting their decisions. In general, divorce rates in open relationships are slightly higher than among monogamous couples.

ADVERTISEMENT

However, this is still hard to judge, as there are many marriages where both partners are unhappy and still remain together for one reason or another. After all, what is cheating to one person is just an open relationship to another. Similarly, this is still a contentious topic, so there is a decent chance that many survey respondents do not feel entirely comfortable discussing it with a researcher.

Image credits: cottonbro studio  / Pexels (not the actual photo)

Open relationships tend to all be somewhat different, which makes them hard to judge

Similarly, there are so many forms of “open” relationships that it can be hard to classify them. While we tend to think of monogamous relationships as a sort of monolith, open relationships are better understood as a sort of “contract” between two parties. Each one will end up looking different as to what is allowed and not allowed.

For example, some couples forbid their partners from bringing other people to their residence. Some mandate the use of contraceptives. Some are one-sided while others basically live as roommates who are ostensibly also dating. Swingers, for example, are another form of “open relationships,” although people tend to classify them as something else.

ADVERTISEMENT

There were many commenters suggesting that the husband get a divorce. After all, if he is happier now, why shouldn’t his wife face the consequences of her actions. However, given that open relationships are truly not easy, it’s perhaps worth extending some grace. There is a chance that honest and open communication would allow this couple to stay together, albeit with a less-than-traditional arrangement.

Many reader sided with the husband and some gave a few suggestions

ADVERTISEMENT
ADVERTISEMENT
Ic_polls

Poll Question

Thanks! Check out the results:

Share on Facebook
Justin Sandberg

Justin Sandberg

Writer, BoredPanda staff

Read more »

I am a writer at Bored Panda. Despite being born in the US, I ended up spending most of my life in Europe, from Latvia, Austria, and Georgia to finally settling in Lithuania. At Bored Panda, you’ll find me covering topics ranging from the cat meme of the day to red flags in the workplace and really anything else. In my free time, I enjoy hiking, beating other people at board games, cooking, good books, and bad films.

Read less »
Justin Sandberg

Justin Sandberg

Writer, BoredPanda staff

I am a writer at Bored Panda. Despite being born in the US, I ended up spending most of my life in Europe, from Latvia, Austria, and Georgia to finally settling in Lithuania. At Bored Panda, you’ll find me covering topics ranging from the cat meme of the day to red flags in the workplace and really anything else. In my free time, I enjoy hiking, beating other people at board games, cooking, good books, and bad films.

Indrė Lukošiūtė

Indrė Lukošiūtė

Author, BoredPanda staff

Read more »

I am a Visual editor at Bored Panda, I'm determined to find the most interesting and the best quality images for each post that I do. On my free time I like to unwind by doing some yoga, watching all kinds of movies/tv shows, playing video and board games or just simply hanging out with my cat

Read less »

Indrė Lukošiūtė

Indrė Lukošiūtė

Author, BoredPanda staff

I am a Visual editor at Bored Panda, I'm determined to find the most interesting and the best quality images for each post that I do. On my free time I like to unwind by doing some yoga, watching all kinds of movies/tv shows, playing video and board games or just simply hanging out with my cat

What do you think ?
Add photo comments
POST
Alexandra
Community Member
5 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

A no-brainer if ever I saw one. This marriage is over. Just formalise that fact and move on. What's the use of two people being unhapppy in a marriage?

zovjraar me
Community Member
5 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

another case of FAFO. Dude is probably better off without her manipulating butt.

SuperNovaToiletClog
Community Member
5 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It should have been over when the quasi-ultimatum was given. "Open the marriage or I might want a divorce" should be a non-starter.

Thanos'Fingers
Community Member
5 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"I might want a divorce" is about all it would take for a self respecting person to start checking out. Opening the marriage is just the icing. Sounds like this guy's wife tried the old threaten him with a good time tactic.

Load More Replies...
Load More Comments
Alexandra
Community Member
5 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

A no-brainer if ever I saw one. This marriage is over. Just formalise that fact and move on. What's the use of two people being unhapppy in a marriage?

zovjraar me
Community Member
5 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

another case of FAFO. Dude is probably better off without her manipulating butt.

SuperNovaToiletClog
Community Member
5 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It should have been over when the quasi-ultimatum was given. "Open the marriage or I might want a divorce" should be a non-starter.

Thanos'Fingers
Community Member
5 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"I might want a divorce" is about all it would take for a self respecting person to start checking out. Opening the marriage is just the icing. Sounds like this guy's wife tried the old threaten him with a good time tactic.

Load More Replies...
Load More Comments
You May Like
Related on Bored Panda
Related on Bored Panda
Trending on Bored Panda
Also on Bored Panda