I don't really get where the husband is coming from. They agreed on both paying for their own stuff. What makes him assume she is gonna pay for his food?? He wants to be independent - so he has to pay for his own food. I mean grow tf up.

He sounds like he's got the money management skills of a spoilt teenager. Good luck with that!

NTA, but get a divorce now before it's too late!

Yeah, red flag central. Better get out while you still can.

NTA in my opinion. He was the one who wanted seperate finances but then expects his wife to pay for his meal. Why did he even go to a restaurant when he knew he didn't have any money? He should have asked his wife before even going out if she would help him out. Then everything would have been fine. Also I don't think this will work in the long run if he keeps spending his money irresponsibly. Will he always expect his wife to pay when he runs out of money? What will happen when kids come into the picture (in case they want to have kids)? He comes off really immature as far as I can tell from this post.

Why did they get married fi they can't even agree on how to budget their household expenses? That's probably the second thing Hubby & I did after he asked me to marry him. We ended up agreeing that any amount over X meant a discussion, no matter what the item was, and it saved us a ton of trouble in a lot of ways.

Time to invest some money in the future...get a divorce lawyer

One word: divorce.

Only one question. Why would you marry such a man child, because this level of industrial-grade stupidity translates into other things too. Imagine them having kids. She is f****d. Moreover, the guy is a cop. But I guess, in the U.S. they recruit complete morons in the police force. It shows.

I don't think she's ESH because she called his bluff. It was very petty of her to leave him stranded. But she will need to make her point sooner or later, because what's his is his and what's hers is his, as far as he's concerned. Did you all catch he makes TWICE what she does? The real problem is selfishness and unwillingness to accommodate the other, btw

This is one of several reasons my first relationship went out the window. It took longer, almost four years, because I didn't have the backbone to stand up to him but bailed him out again and again when he'd spent more than he had. I was 20 when I got into that relationship and not adult at all (he was four years older) I wonder what excuse OP has.

another divorce incoming

Divorce him. You're married to a child who doesn't know or care to know how to be an adult. It will only get worse. Leave him where you found him.

He suggested the dinner, then not only couldn't afford his half but expected her to pay? That's super weird.. Get out while it's easy.

He's robbing her with lies. He should rob the evidence locker

he invited her to go out to dinner. technically, she not only didn't have to pay for him, as the person who invited, he should have paid for both of them, unless they agreed in advance to go dutch treat and given that he knew he had no money but ordered like mad, he was taking advantage of her and has no right to call her names or get mad when he was called on his bad acts at that point, this is a troubled marriage. you don't take advantage like that of someone you love

IF this marraige lasts a year, this guy is gonna bankrupt them both. Get outta there lady! lol

I may be seeing it weirdly here, but this is the kind of guy who needs a joint account but shouldn't ever be trusted to have one, because without learning to share and be responsible with money he will never grow up but if he's already 32...

Wow. That’s all I’ve got.

“ Being mean”...How old is he?

I wouldn't be caught dead marrying someone who has major spending problems. It's not even like she had no idea either. Run, girl, run!

My friend was married to somebody who was very bad at financing he knew it at the time he recognize that it could take him down and they had separate banking accounts as a result. She would pull some pretty amazing stunts like inviting eight people to an expensive restaurant and then saying she forgot her wallet. She never did learn to manage her money well. As a result of his caring for his financial health, my friend was financially sound after their divorce.

Personally I would go back to having separate accounts. And maybe as a compromise you each pay 50/50. As a unit, you shouldn't be expecting your other half to cover the entire bill. I mean, if you had a joint account it would come out of both your wages, which is technically 50/50 anyway. I get the impression he feels he can have a free ride at your expense and that really needs to be sorted out. A marriage is about trust, respect and communication and so far this is showing none of those attributes.

OP save your money on therapy and just divorce him already. He's not going to change.

Do you even love each other? Can you imagine having kind with that kind of person? How it will be like when the baby needs diapers you'll be arguing about who's buying them? This is unhealthy relationship, this ship is 99% likely to sink.

My husband and I have a joint account that all the "shared" bills come out of (mortgage, electric, food, etc, and we each contribute 50/50 to all these bills). Then we each have a separate account that the rest of our money goes into for our own things. For example: I run, and so I pay for my shoes, supplies, and races with my money in my account; he hunts, and pays for anything he needs out of that. When it comes to going out to eat, we take turns paying. As long as the "shared" bills are paid, I couldn't care less what he does with the rest of his money, and he feels the same.

This doesn't sound right. He buys stuff every day, but doesn't have enough money to pay for dinner and has to call a buddy??? Does he not have a credit card?? This whole thing is worded oddly, not buying it. Oh, and it's a royal pain to split the check every time you go out. Just take turns paying for dinner. My partner and I have done this for 15 years, it all evens out...

Sounds like made up BS to me, husband at 32 doesnt own a credit card, Google or Apple Pay and uses cash only for things so he was stuck at the restaurant? If you believe that please message me about this fine beachfront propert I have for sale as well.

Husband is the asshole, but keep in mind he will ruin YOUR credatability for bank

who'll file for divorce first

This was my marriage exactly, only I never did a joint account, he would have cleaned me out. I had to put bills in my name and pay them because he couldn't manage money at all, would just spend everything and lie about paying bills. It was a major reason I left

Poor woman. That is one entitled boychild right there. Wants to have his own money and split all expenses, then expects her to cover his extra over spending, without asking if ok first to,break his own terms. She just followed his rules.

He who pays can order whatever or how much he wants. The 'guest' should try to be 'modest' with the order as not to come off as a glutton. Can't afford to cover the cost? stay home and eat Mac & Cheese. She needs to go to counseling, even alone if he doesn't. Be the 'bigger' person and invest the cost to the couplehood. At least in the end if divorce is where it goes, it speaks well at the court proceedings.

I will never understand why people start any kind of serious relationship without reaching an agreement on certain very important issues first. Stuff like children, money and long-term goals must be agreed on beforehand, or it won't work. He obviously has a problem, but she is naive or stupid if she expects him to behave responsibly when he is clearly immature and selfish.

First mistake, marrying someone who spends money like a drunken sailor. I don't think she ITA, but honestly, I would never put up with someone like that and they rarely change. He sounds incredibly immature and not ready for an adult relationship.

I would say both are assholes, because who strands their spouse like that, but the wife was in a no-win situation. Enabling his financial abuse would also be wrong. They definately need marriage counselling, and financial counselling, or they need to divorce.

She knows her husband. She should have asked outringht before they went to the restaurant if he have money to pay for it... i guess she want to prove a point..

1) you're an idiot for marrying a proven idiot 2) you're an idiot for suggesting a join bank account!

A L L C O P S A R E B A S T A R A D S No exceptions.

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More "must hate all men" crap from bp...