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“I’m Sick And Tired”: Woman Fed Up With Frugal Husband Just Wants To Enjoy Her Salary Herself
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“I’m Sick And Tired”: Woman Fed Up With Frugal Husband Just Wants To Enjoy Her Salary Herself

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Marriage is built on the promise of sticking together through thick and thin. But even the most loving relationships hit bumps when life gets complicated.

One woman, frustrated by a recent argument with her husband, took to Reddit for advice. After being a stay-at-home wife and caregiver for his parents, she took on a job to support the family’s finances. She just earned a bonus for her hard work and was hoping to finally treat herself, but her husband insists the money should go toward bills. Meanwhile, all she wants is a little something to make her happy.

Read on for the full story and let us know what you think she should do.

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    After earning a bonus for her hard work at a new job, the woman looked forward to treating herself

    Image credits: Kaboompics.com/Pexels (not the actual photo)

    But her frugal husband insists she use the money for bills, sparking an argument they’re yet to solve

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    Image credits: Mikhail Nilov/Pexels (not the actual photo)

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    Image credits:

    For many couples, money is a significant source of conflict

    Image credits: Ketut Subiyanto/Pexels (not the actual photo)

    The couple from Reddit certainly isn’t the first, nor will they be the last, to argue over finances. According to the American Psychological Association (APA) Stress in America survey, nearly a third of adults in relationships report that money is a major source of tension. Research also shows that among sensitive issues, arguments about money tend to be more intense, more problematic, and often remain unresolved.

    However, with the right approach and a willingness from both partners to work through these issues, financial disagreements don’t have to become dealbreakers. Bobby Hoyt, CEO and founder of Stellar Brands, offers valuable insights to make this topic feel less intimidating.

    Hoyt encourages couples to make it a habit to talk about money frequently and early in their relationship. “To have a successful marriage, you need to have good communication—that’s a no-brainer, but it’s still harder than it sounds,” he says. “If one person in the relationship is worried about money and the other isn’t, it’s pretty easy for things to fall off the rails, especially if no one is willing to admit that they have concerns.”

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    Next, keep a close eye on your spendings by tracking them. “It’s important to know what’s coming in and going out every month,” Hoyt explains. “Once you know, you can do something about it rather than wondering why your money never seems to quite make it to the end of the month.” There are plenty of apps and tools available that can help you see exactly where your money is going. You can review them during your financial check-ins to make more responsible choices.

    Once you know your budget, it’s easier to make a plan and see where you can improve. You’ll be able to identify where to cut costs and eventually allocate money toward long-term goals like paying off debts, building an emergency fund, or saving for retirement.

    Don’t be afraid to reward yourself for reaching your financial milestones. It doesn’t have to be extravagant; even a nice night out or a bottle of wine can keep you excited about handling your expenses. “Celebrating your wins brings you together, helps you stay on track, and reminds you that the struggle is worth it,” says Hoyt.

    Lastly, keep in mind that everything you do also has an impact on your partner. “It can be easy to forget sometimes, but marriage is a partnership,” adds Hoyt. “Not to diminish it, but in some ways, it’s like going into a lifelong business partnership with your best friend, and this means all money decisions affect both of you.” The silver lining is that whatever challenges arise, you won’t have to face them alone.

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    In the replies, the woman said she puts in more effort than her husband and deserves to spend her own money

    The commenters suspected the husband was manipulating her and encouraged her to realize her true worth in the relationship

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    Oleksandra Kyryliuk

    Oleksandra Kyryliuk

    Writer, BoredPanda staff

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    Kyiv-born, Vilnius-dwelling writer with a suitcase full of curiosity. My Master's in International Communication fuels my love for exploring different stories. Whether I'm putting pen to paper (or fingers to keyboard), you might catch me out and about with my film camera, cycling around, or on a quest for the perfect coffee spot. Occasionally seen trying to find inner peace on the yoga mat.

    Read less »
    Oleksandra Kyryliuk

    Oleksandra Kyryliuk

    Writer, BoredPanda staff

    Kyiv-born, Vilnius-dwelling writer with a suitcase full of curiosity. My Master's in International Communication fuels my love for exploring different stories. Whether I'm putting pen to paper (or fingers to keyboard), you might catch me out and about with my film camera, cycling around, or on a quest for the perfect coffee spot. Occasionally seen trying to find inner peace on the yoga mat.

    Jonas Zvilius

    Jonas Zvilius

    Author, BoredPanda staff

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    This lazy panda forgot to write something about itself.

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    Jonas Zvilius

    Jonas Zvilius

    Author, BoredPanda staff

    This lazy panda forgot to write something about itself.

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    Trillian
    Community Member
    2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    When I read things like "My husband says to" and "permission" I see red flags all over the place.

    Papa
    Community Member
    2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I agree. Seeing him justify his new truck because "he needs it for work" set my teeth on edge. If finances are so tight that his wife can't buy small things she needs or wants then he should be driving a used vehicle.

    Load More Replies...
    TribbleThinking
    Community Member
    2 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Divorce him. You'll have so much more time to earn more and not be the family's maid. That truck of his is not going to last long once he has to fund all the elder care himself as the live-in slave who paid to skivvy there has skipped town. Do leave town, or he'll spend all his time trying to harass you at work and your new digs to give him back all that lovely free money and round the clock expensive care.

    Load More Comments
    Trillian
    Community Member
    2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    When I read things like "My husband says to" and "permission" I see red flags all over the place.

    Papa
    Community Member
    2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I agree. Seeing him justify his new truck because "he needs it for work" set my teeth on edge. If finances are so tight that his wife can't buy small things she needs or wants then he should be driving a used vehicle.

    Load More Replies...
    TribbleThinking
    Community Member
    2 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Divorce him. You'll have so much more time to earn more and not be the family's maid. That truck of his is not going to last long once he has to fund all the elder care himself as the live-in slave who paid to skivvy there has skipped town. Do leave town, or he'll spend all his time trying to harass you at work and your new digs to give him back all that lovely free money and round the clock expensive care.

    Load More Comments
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