Gift-giving is a delicate art that requires thought, effort, and a touch of detective work to find the perfect way to impress someone. That’s why we naturally expect those closest to us—who know us best—to pick out something meaningful.

But when this woman secretly peeked at the Christmas present her husband bought her this year, she was met with crushing disappointment. Now, she’s debating if she should confront him or simply let it go.

The woman couldn’t resist sneaking a peek at the Christmas gift her husband had bought her

Image credits: Ave Calvar (not the actual photo)

But what she found replaced her excitement with crushing disappointment

Image credits: ITryNFeelTheSunshine (not the actual photo)

Image source: ChristmasCinchNotGrinch

Most people admit they struggle to find the right present

Image credits: Andrej Lišakov (not the actual photo)

Planning the perfect gift isn’t always easy. In fact, in the U.S., two-thirds of people admit they struggle to find the right present, and 71% have experienced anxiety over gift shopping in the past year.

While that stress is understandable, it’s no reason to give up on choosing something thoughtful, as seemed to happen with the OP. Experts believe the solution lies in learning to pay attention to the details.

“The key to successful gift-giving is listening to the people around you,” says Kate Forster, a writer celebrated among her friends for on-point presents. “It’s the loveliest feeling in the world when someone feels understood, which is what successful gift-giving is, really–being understood and heard.”

“Always try and think about the things they love,” says Beth Macdonald, a lifestyle blogger and owner of the online gift store Add to Cart. There are plenty of ways to “spy” on someone to figure out what would make them gasp when they unwrap their surprise. “Check out their Instagram, see who they follow and check out those brands,” Macdonald suggests. “Check out their homes and their clothes and the wine or food they serve at home… there are clues all around.”

Forster also recommends being proactive: “Get stealth. Ask about logos for T-shirts and make a note on your phone. Learn about what your loved ones are into right now, then look up the topic and start your hunt. If your nephew is into anime, for example, then ask him who his favourite artists are. It is also a way of connecting with him.”

Additionally, as tempting as it might be to put off shopping until the last minute, starting early can make all the difference. “You probably think about great presents all the time but aren’t mindful about it and then you get what I call ‘present amnesia’ when it comes time to buy,” says Forster. “This is where phone notes help.” For instance, if you come across something online that you know a friend would love, save the link or jot it down. Over time, you’ll have a whole collection of potential gifts ready.

With the holiday season fast approaching, hopefully these tips will help you find gifts that truly make your loved ones feel appreciated. Good luck!

Some readers found it strange that the husband could miss the mark so badly and urged the woman to speak up

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Others questioned whether the gift was even intended for her

A few argued that buying a present early was effort enough and she should let it go

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