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“So Heavy. So Fatty. This Is Death”: Guy Is Sick And Tired Of Wife’s Food Complaints
Being a parent comes with a lot of responsibility. You’re the one tasked with shaping a little person into the best version of themselves they can possibly be. Your most important job is keeping your child alive. And part of this means making sure they are well fed. It’s not always easy, especially if they’re a picky eater.
One dad shared how he was winning at the feeding game until his wife’s bad habits started negatively impacting their 6-year-old daughter. Now, the child refuses her dinner and makes gagging sounds every time her father cooks. He sought help online about how to deal with the situation appropriately and ensure his wife’s food aversions don’t rub off on their daughter.
RELATED:
Many people, like this dad, find cooking therapeutic and enjoyable
Image credits: guyswhoshoot (not the actual photo)
But no matter how much love he puts into his meals, he’s met with snide remarks and gagging at the dinner table
Image credits: YuriArcursPeopleimages (not the actual photo)
Image credits: DC_Studio (not the actual photo)
Image credits: ThrowRAFoodFrustrati
A parent’s anxieties about food can play a part in a child becoming a picky eater
Eating is a big part of daily life and something that should be enjoyed by families. But sometimes, instead of a peaceful meal and bonding time, dinner turns into a dreaded disaster and a breeding ground for battles.
“When conflicts develop around food, that tension can sadly create a very negative impact on the child’s relationship with food, and their enjoyment of joining the family to eat,” says psychosynthesis counselor and parenting instructor Genevieve Simperingham. “If those tensions continue, there is the risk of the child later developing an eating disorder.”
Simperingham says how parents manage their own feelings around food and their child’s eating is the single most important factor in determining whether a bigger problem develops or not. “With about 95% of the parents who have sought my help with their child’s eating habits, it has come to light that they themselves have had quite big emotional issues around food, diet and body image,” she revealed.
The founder of the Peaceful Parent Institute cautions that parents should watch their words when it comes to establishing a healthy relationship with food. “Making a commitment to avoid words or actions that make your child feel forced, coerced, blamed and rejected relating to their food choices can be a big step in the right direction,” advised Simperingham. She says parents won’t change their child’s mind until they help them change their feelings.
Ironically, one of the tactics the expert suggests when dealing with picky eaters is for parents to pretend to be picky themselves. The expert says when an adult playfully takes the less powerful role, children feel less powerless about being told what to do.
“Bringing some humour and goofiness to the table can be hugely relieving and fun!” said Simperingham. “You could, for instance, try slouching down at the table and dramatically and childishly protest about the ‘yucky’ food on the table. It shouldn’t take long before your child gets into it and will likely tell you to ‘eat up and don’t complain’ with a pointing finger and big giggles!”
But unfortunately for the dad, his wife isn’t just pretending to be picky. She truly dislikes his food… And her not-so-funny behavior is rubbing off on their daughter.
Image credits: Jill Wellington (not the actual photo)
The man provided more info in the comments
Many netizens took the dad’s side, voicing concerns over his daughter’s future eating habits
“Heart attack on a plate”: some people were conflicted about the dad’s meal choices
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What do you think ?
Traveling Lady Railfan 2 weeks ago
Wow. I don't know you, but I really really really don't like your wife.
Cronecast AtTheRisingMoon 2 weeks ago
Right? Her behavior is borderline abusive because belittling his efforts is a form of emotional abuse complete with the “ you’re being too sensitive “ to his objections to being insulted. Insulting and belittling your partner is not joking around. They need counseling and potentially a divorce because what she is doing is really, really not okay.
Load More Replies...
LaserBrain 2 weeks ago
Anyone this OP is cooking for is very fortunate! Wife doesn't deserve him, he should have gotten rid of her a long time ago.
Livingwithcfs 2 weeks ago
This woman is using psychological abuse tactics. I think OP needs to get the child to counciling to unfortunately tge damaged his wife has done and I would seek a lawyer as well and I'm not sure this woman is a safe person around a child, she's giving her daughter an eating disorder
Cronecast AtTheRisingMoon 2 weeks ago
Yup, it’s textbook abuse. Insulting, belittling, victim blaming and avoidance. She’s a nightmare.
Load More Replies... 
Paul Rabit 2 weeks ago
UGH - I just KNEW that someone was going to get hung up on the chicken alfredo!
Spencer's slave no longer 1 week ago
100%! There's absolutely NOTHING wrong with butter, cream, salt etc. His chicken alfredo sounds delicious and with garlic bread. We eat lots of pasta with butter and cream in the sauces, I use grass fed rendered beef fat for searing red meat and making proper suet dumplings. I'm a "if you don't like it, don't eat it, you know where the kitchen is" person.
Load More Replies...
Mad McQueen 2 weeks ago
I had a friend that every time we would go out to eat she would do the gag at whatever I ordered. I said stop it that's childish. When she did it at a store over a makeup pallet I put it down and walked out. Got in my car and left. I didn't talk to her again. Too childish. I don't need that drama or embarrassment because someone can't just say oh I'm not fond of that. Kids do mimic adults. And your cooking sounds wonderful. And they both took that joy away. Maybe it's time to move on because if she can't parent over food then she won't parent in otherways down the road and create a small monster who then thinks it's ok to be rude to get something else.
Cronecast AtTheRisingMoon 2 weeks ago
He really seems to be in the dark about the fact that she’s being abusive. So, he also apparently needs some therapy because somehow he’s normalized being treated horribly.
Load More Replies...
Gen X Feral 2 weeks ago
I swear people will settle for anyone just to have someone. The wife sounds like a complete nightmare, rude, childish and indecisive. If my husband reacted like this to my food he'd be wearing it ffs. I would happily spend the rest of my life with just my cats.
Brenda Spagnola-Wilson 2 weeks ago
First, OP needs to take his daughter to her dr & teach her about healthy eating habits. Secondly, if he involves his daughter in the cooking, she'll be more likely to want to eat what is made & try new foods. Thirdly, he should have daughter speak to a therapist who specializes in dealing with young children and have them evaluate her. There could be other issues from mom & and dad's behavior. Disrespectful behavior will carry over to school, etc, knowing how & when to stand up for herself, her self esteem, and she may start believing that things are not good with her parents because of her. Then, OP and wife need therapy. And they MUST learn to agree on how to parent, how to deal with their "trigger" situations and show a united front.
Performingyak 1 week ago
I think they need a family trip to a dietician and to take a list of both packaged and fresh recipes they serve in the house. Perhaps the wife will see that often the "low-salt" option etc is not as good for you as a fresh option, even when cooked with a little bit of butter. Not only that, but a child's caloric intake and distribution of fats and carbs are different forom an adult trying to control their health/weight.
Load More Replies...
Uncommon Sense 2 weeks ago
People are getting hooked on the "training the kid to have an eating disorder" angle and while not wrong, I'm just astonished and this guys willingness to even be in a relationship with someone he describes as an interfering, critical micromanager. What horrible personality traits, especially in a marriage. How the hell can that be a happy house for a child to grow up in? The daughter will be raised with the belief that it's ok to be a b***h and laugh the hurtful behaviour off as "just a joke".
Schmebulock 1 week ago (edited)
Divorce your wife and explain to your daughter it's because her mom is a horrible patent and inconsiderate b***h - problem solved.
Nitka Tsar 2 weeks ago
Gosh, that wife sounds horrible. Not very loving is she? And stupid as well. Her kid loved home made food but she practically forced her to love ready made chicken nuggets! What an idiot.
roddy 2 weeks ago
Anybody who serves processed chicken nuggets and then makes a point of gagging when presented with real cooking has a screw loose. She's self-righteous, rude, and hypocritical. Her food is not food, it's not healthy, and it probably isn't even less fattening. Try taking cooking classes together with a chef who focuses on healthy eating.
quentariel 2 weeks ago
Op:s wife seems to have missed some crucial childhood lessons of courtesy and how to behave like a decent human being. It's not about the eating habits (which sound more like an eating disorder), but how to communicate with others about eating. I hope they can turn the situation around and ensure that the kid can still learn to have a healthy relationship with food.
whiterabbit 2 weeks ago
Just one more example of how picky eating is a learned behavior. It's a learned behavior that will never be allowed in my house.
Lori T Wisconsin 1 week ago
The lack of respect is clearly evident in the wife’s behavior. Time to send the gagging wench packing.
Tenay Douglas 1 week ago
The people blaming OP are no better than the wife IMO. Like he's making these meals from scratch they're definitely healthy!
Beth Wheeler 1 week ago
OMG. I love a good chicken Alfredo! Is it healthy? No, but I only get it a couple of times a year. This man loves to cook and his wife has some kind of mental problem. I'm wondering if she might be hiding an eating disorder and if it doesn't stop the little girl will have one in the future.
Barbara Deskins 1 week ago
my ex complained ONE TO MANY TIMES about my cooking. I said "I am never cooking for you again". I didn't but made my daughter and myself food.
Laura A Ivett 1 week ago
Wow, the wife is an insufferable, immature, bullying, c**t!!!! She has been like this for your whole marriage, WTF did you marry her? She is not "joking", that is what people say when they get called out for their s**t behavior, she is abusive, and you are tolerating it why? Man the f**k up!!
DC 2 weeks ago
Your wife became your wife by ... how did that happen? Seriously, she seems to be one to overstretch any once-funny joke until it would bore out Beavis and Butt-Head. Retaliation may be the only way still open - set your daughter up to something that hurts your wife. That is, of course, wrong in and of itself, as it involves your daughter as a means of a plan, and not as an individual who, however uwise they may be, should make her own decisions whereever possible. If your wife is so about other things as welll, can't see the wrong in her doing, it may be time for a change that doesn't include her anymore.
Sarah Matsoukis 2 weeks ago
Apart from being an a*****e the wife needs nutritiona classes if she things store bought nugs and other ready meals are remotely healthy
Fellfromthemoon 2 weeks ago
1. OP didn't punish his daughter over food but behavior (gagging and laughing.) 2. It seems unlikely that a child who has free access to chicken nuggets and homemade dishes made from scratch will develop ED because mother theatrically gags over the aforementioned homemade food. 3. Not everything food-related is an ED.
Traveling Lady Railfan 2 weeks ago
Wow. I don't know you, but I really really really don't like your wife.
Cronecast AtTheRisingMoon 2 weeks ago
Right? Her behavior is borderline abusive because belittling his efforts is a form of emotional abuse complete with the “ you’re being too sensitive “ to his objections to being insulted. Insulting and belittling your partner is not joking around. They need counseling and potentially a divorce because what she is doing is really, really not okay.
Load More Replies... LaserBrain 2 weeks ago
Anyone this OP is cooking for is very fortunate! Wife doesn't deserve him, he should have gotten rid of her a long time ago.
Livingwithcfs 2 weeks ago
This woman is using psychological abuse tactics. I think OP needs to get the child to counciling to unfortunately tge damaged his wife has done and I would seek a lawyer as well and I'm not sure this woman is a safe person around a child, she's giving her daughter an eating disorder
Cronecast AtTheRisingMoon 2 weeks ago
Yup, it’s textbook abuse. Insulting, belittling, victim blaming and avoidance. She’s a nightmare.
Load More Replies... Paul Rabit 2 weeks ago
UGH - I just KNEW that someone was going to get hung up on the chicken alfredo!
Spencer's slave no longer 1 week ago
100%! There's absolutely NOTHING wrong with butter, cream, salt etc. His chicken alfredo sounds delicious and with garlic bread. We eat lots of pasta with butter and cream in the sauces, I use grass fed rendered beef fat for searing red meat and making proper suet dumplings. I'm a "if you don't like it, don't eat it, you know where the kitchen is" person.
Load More Replies... Mad McQueen 2 weeks ago
I had a friend that every time we would go out to eat she would do the gag at whatever I ordered. I said stop it that's childish. When she did it at a store over a makeup pallet I put it down and walked out. Got in my car and left. I didn't talk to her again. Too childish. I don't need that drama or embarrassment because someone can't just say oh I'm not fond of that. Kids do mimic adults. And your cooking sounds wonderful. And they both took that joy away. Maybe it's time to move on because if she can't parent over food then she won't parent in otherways down the road and create a small monster who then thinks it's ok to be rude to get something else.
Cronecast AtTheRisingMoon 2 weeks ago
He really seems to be in the dark about the fact that she’s being abusive. So, he also apparently needs some therapy because somehow he’s normalized being treated horribly.
Load More Replies... Gen X Feral 2 weeks ago
I swear people will settle for anyone just to have someone. The wife sounds like a complete nightmare, rude, childish and indecisive. If my husband reacted like this to my food he'd be wearing it ffs. I would happily spend the rest of my life with just my cats.
Brenda Spagnola-Wilson 2 weeks ago
First, OP needs to take his daughter to her dr & teach her about healthy eating habits. Secondly, if he involves his daughter in the cooking, she'll be more likely to want to eat what is made & try new foods. Thirdly, he should have daughter speak to a therapist who specializes in dealing with young children and have them evaluate her. There could be other issues from mom & and dad's behavior. Disrespectful behavior will carry over to school, etc, knowing how & when to stand up for herself, her self esteem, and she may start believing that things are not good with her parents because of her. Then, OP and wife need therapy. And they MUST learn to agree on how to parent, how to deal with their "trigger" situations and show a united front.
Performingyak 1 week ago
I think they need a family trip to a dietician and to take a list of both packaged and fresh recipes they serve in the house. Perhaps the wife will see that often the "low-salt" option etc is not as good for you as a fresh option, even when cooked with a little bit of butter. Not only that, but a child's caloric intake and distribution of fats and carbs are different forom an adult trying to control their health/weight.
Load More Replies... Uncommon Sense 2 weeks ago
People are getting hooked on the "training the kid to have an eating disorder" angle and while not wrong, I'm just astonished and this guys willingness to even be in a relationship with someone he describes as an interfering, critical micromanager. What horrible personality traits, especially in a marriage. How the hell can that be a happy house for a child to grow up in? The daughter will be raised with the belief that it's ok to be a b***h and laugh the hurtful behaviour off as "just a joke".
Schmebulock 1 week ago (edited)
Divorce your wife and explain to your daughter it's because her mom is a horrible patent and inconsiderate b***h - problem solved.
Nitka Tsar 2 weeks ago
Gosh, that wife sounds horrible. Not very loving is she? And stupid as well. Her kid loved home made food but she practically forced her to love ready made chicken nuggets! What an idiot.
roddy 2 weeks ago
Anybody who serves processed chicken nuggets and then makes a point of gagging when presented with real cooking has a screw loose. She's self-righteous, rude, and hypocritical. Her food is not food, it's not healthy, and it probably isn't even less fattening. Try taking cooking classes together with a chef who focuses on healthy eating.
quentariel 2 weeks ago
Op:s wife seems to have missed some crucial childhood lessons of courtesy and how to behave like a decent human being. It's not about the eating habits (which sound more like an eating disorder), but how to communicate with others about eating. I hope they can turn the situation around and ensure that the kid can still learn to have a healthy relationship with food.
whiterabbit 2 weeks ago
Just one more example of how picky eating is a learned behavior. It's a learned behavior that will never be allowed in my house.
Lori T Wisconsin 1 week ago
The lack of respect is clearly evident in the wife’s behavior. Time to send the gagging wench packing.
Tenay Douglas 1 week ago
The people blaming OP are no better than the wife IMO. Like he's making these meals from scratch they're definitely healthy!
Beth Wheeler 1 week ago
OMG. I love a good chicken Alfredo! Is it healthy? No, but I only get it a couple of times a year. This man loves to cook and his wife has some kind of mental problem. I'm wondering if she might be hiding an eating disorder and if it doesn't stop the little girl will have one in the future.
Barbara Deskins 1 week ago
my ex complained ONE TO MANY TIMES about my cooking. I said "I am never cooking for you again". I didn't but made my daughter and myself food.
Laura A Ivett 1 week ago
Wow, the wife is an insufferable, immature, bullying, c**t!!!! She has been like this for your whole marriage, WTF did you marry her? She is not "joking", that is what people say when they get called out for their s**t behavior, she is abusive, and you are tolerating it why? Man the f**k up!!
DC 2 weeks ago
Your wife became your wife by ... how did that happen? Seriously, she seems to be one to overstretch any once-funny joke until it would bore out Beavis and Butt-Head. Retaliation may be the only way still open - set your daughter up to something that hurts your wife. That is, of course, wrong in and of itself, as it involves your daughter as a means of a plan, and not as an individual who, however uwise they may be, should make her own decisions whereever possible. If your wife is so about other things as welll, can't see the wrong in her doing, it may be time for a change that doesn't include her anymore.
Sarah Matsoukis 2 weeks ago
Apart from being an a*****e the wife needs nutritiona classes if she things store bought nugs and other ready meals are remotely healthy
Fellfromthemoon 2 weeks ago
1. OP didn't punish his daughter over food but behavior (gagging and laughing.) 2. It seems unlikely that a child who has free access to chicken nuggets and homemade dishes made from scratch will develop ED because mother theatrically gags over the aforementioned homemade food. 3. Not everything food-related is an ED.
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