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Mom Refuses To Take Her Kids During Ex’s Week Because Of His Wife’s Emergency, Gets A Reality Check
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Mom Refuses To Take Her Kids During Ex’s Week Because Of His Wife’s Emergency, Gets A Reality Check

Mom Refuses To Take Her Kids During Ex’s Week Because Of His Wife’s Emergency, Gets A Reality CheckWoman Is Called Mom Defends Decision To Stick To Custody Schedule During Ex’s Family Emergency, Faces CriticismWoman Refuses To Watch Her Own Kids When Ex Needs Help Because It’s Not Her Parenting WeekWoman Wants Support After Refusing To Watch Her Kids During Ex’s Week, Receives Backlash InsteadWoman Dragged For Not Taking Her Kids So That Ex Husband Can Be With His New Wife In The HospitalWoman Asks If She Should Apologize To Her Ex For Not Watching Their Kids In An EmergencyMom Defends Her Decision Not To Watch Kids During Ex’s Week In An Emergency, Folks Aren't Buying It
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Co-parenting after a divorce requires that both ex-partners put away their anger, resentment, and other messy emotions and prioritize the needs of their children.

However, as this Reddit user has just realized, setting aside such strong feelings often is much easier said than done.

In a recent post, she described a contentious situation with the father of her daughters, who requested she take the kids early so he could accompany his new wife to the hospital — and the reason behind her refusal to do so.

RELATED:

    This woman is sharing custody of her girls with her ex-husband, and the arrangement hasn’t been without its difficulties

    Image credits: RDNE Stock project / Pexels (not the actual photo)

    Particularly when the man’s current pregnant wife had a medical emergency

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    Image credits: Liza Summer / Pexels (not the actual photo)

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    Image credits: throwaway827262627

    Image credits: cottonbro studio / Pexels (not the actual photo)

    People who co-parent should look for ways to alleviate the tensions instead of increasing them

    Divorce can be a critical experience for children, at times changing the trajectory of their entire lives. From their perspective, the loss of stability comes with confusion, fear, and frustration.

    According to Amy Morin, who is a psychotherapist and lecturer at Northeastern University in Boston, Massachusetts:

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    • Young children struggle to understand why they must go between two homes. They may worry that if their parents can stop loving one another, someday they might also stop loving them.
      Grade school children worry that the divorce is their fault. They might assume they did something wrong and contributed to the fallout.
      Teenagers may become quite angry about a divorce and the changes it leads to. They may blame one parent for the dissolution of the marriage or resent one or both parents for the upheaval in the family.

    “For some children, parental separation isn’t the hardest part. Instead, the accompanying stressors are what make divorce the most difficult,” Morin wrote. “Changing schools, moving to a new home, and living with a single parent who feels a little more frazzled are just a few of the additional stressors that make divorce difficult.”

    “Financial hardships are also common following divorce. Many families have to move to smaller homes or change neighborhoods and they often have fewer material resources.”

    So whatever the reason for the divorce might be, children need reassurance — they do best when they know that their parents are still going to be their parents even though the marriage has ended.

    Cooperative co-parenting provides a stable, consistent, and supportive environment. Research shows that it is linked to higher self-esteem, improved academic performance, and better mental health overall in children. So if the author of the post truly cares about her daughters, she should put aside her resentment.

    After all, things don’t always go according to plan, even when we have the best intentions. So keeping room for flexibility in case the other parent is late or cannot pick up the child, the babysitter doesn’t show up on time, school lets out early, or there’s another unexpected emergency is key to maintaining a positive co-parenting dynamic that, ultimately, benefits the children.

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    Most of the people who read her story said that the woman needs to change her attitude and show more flexibility

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    But some failed to notice any wrongdoing on her part

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    Rokas Laurinavičius

    Rokas Laurinavičius

    Writer, BoredPanda staff

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    Rokas is a writer at Bored Panda with a BA in Communication. After working for a sculptor, he fell in love with visual storytelling and enjoys covering everything from TV shows (any Sopranos fans out there?) to photography. Throughout his years in Bored Panda, over 300 million people have read the posts he's written, which is probably more than he could count to.

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    Rokas Laurinavičius

    Rokas Laurinavičius

    Writer, BoredPanda staff

    Rokas is a writer at Bored Panda with a BA in Communication. After working for a sculptor, he fell in love with visual storytelling and enjoys covering everything from TV shows (any Sopranos fans out there?) to photography. Throughout his years in Bored Panda, over 300 million people have read the posts he's written, which is probably more than he could count to.

    Indrė Lukošiūtė

    Indrė Lukošiūtė

    Author, BoredPanda staff

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    I am a Visual editor at Bored Panda, I'm determined to find the most interesting and the best quality images for each post that I do. On my free time I like to unwind by doing some yoga, watching all kinds of movies/tv shows, playing video and board games or just simply hanging out with my cat

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    Indrė Lukošiūtė

    Indrė Lukošiūtė

    Author, BoredPanda staff

    I am a Visual editor at Bored Panda, I'm determined to find the most interesting and the best quality images for each post that I do. On my free time I like to unwind by doing some yoga, watching all kinds of movies/tv shows, playing video and board games or just simply hanging out with my cat

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    David
    Community Member
    5 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If she had no plans, no emergency of her own, this is her own child, she should have done it. The fact she is using the official custody agreement to deny her own child, shows she doesnt really want her child, but seems to have fought for shared custody for ulterior motives. While what she did was within the agreement, she is a AH, and her child will grow up remembering this

    Ephemera Image
    Community Member
    5 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    A mother who chose to keep a court-ordered agreement rather than spend time with her child, will not be fondly remembered by said child. Spite is spite. Kids will see that.

    Load More Replies...
    Terran
    Community Member
    5 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    YTA all the way. The NTAs here are completely unreasonable.

    Libby King
    Community Member
    5 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    So, mom got the call, said no, and immediately hung up, but later said of course she would have taken her kids if there was no one else to watch them. But she hung up the phone before the dad even got a chance to say whether or not he could find a baby sitter. And who *wants* their kids to go hang out in a hospital for extended periods of time? Maybe the girls said they would prefer to be with mom vs a baby sitter.

    Aramintaあら
    Community Member
    5 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And if she REALLY was busy, like unless they were really young, like just bring them home, tell them they can heat some canned soup in the microwave and to call if something is wrong. That's how I was raised once I was about 10, I liked the independence and would be grateful I was brought home instead of placed with a stranger

    Load More Replies...
    Load More Comments
    David
    Community Member
    5 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If she had no plans, no emergency of her own, this is her own child, she should have done it. The fact she is using the official custody agreement to deny her own child, shows she doesnt really want her child, but seems to have fought for shared custody for ulterior motives. While what she did was within the agreement, she is a AH, and her child will grow up remembering this

    Ephemera Image
    Community Member
    5 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    A mother who chose to keep a court-ordered agreement rather than spend time with her child, will not be fondly remembered by said child. Spite is spite. Kids will see that.

    Load More Replies...
    Terran
    Community Member
    5 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    YTA all the way. The NTAs here are completely unreasonable.

    Libby King
    Community Member
    5 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    So, mom got the call, said no, and immediately hung up, but later said of course she would have taken her kids if there was no one else to watch them. But she hung up the phone before the dad even got a chance to say whether or not he could find a baby sitter. And who *wants* their kids to go hang out in a hospital for extended periods of time? Maybe the girls said they would prefer to be with mom vs a baby sitter.

    Aramintaあら
    Community Member
    5 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And if she REALLY was busy, like unless they were really young, like just bring them home, tell them they can heat some canned soup in the microwave and to call if something is wrong. That's how I was raised once I was about 10, I liked the independence and would be grateful I was brought home instead of placed with a stranger

    Load More Replies...
    Load More Comments
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