Man Can Fix Anything But His In-Laws’ Attitude, So He Refuses To Help Them Again, They’re Furious
You know the saying, “Give someone an inch and they’ll take a mile?” That saying was probably invented by someone who got roped into doing too much for too little in return. It’s funny how some people will bend over backward to ask for favors but suddenly forget basic decency when it’s their turn to give back.
That’s one Redditor’s experience, who decided he’d had enough of being treated like the unpaid handyman for his wife’s family, while they barely acknowledged his existence otherwise.
More info: Reddit
Doing favors for family is great, until you realize you’re just a tool in the toolbox
Image credits: wavebreakmedia_micro / Freepik (not the actual photo)
One man constantly helps his wife’s family fix things around the house but is always treated like an outsider, and looked down upon for his foster care background
Image credits: Lisa Fotios / Pexels (not the actual photo)
The man’s in-laws never ask him about his life, are always surprised when he is successful, but always care about the other spouses in the family
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Despite always treating him poorly, the in-laws constantly ask him to fix things for them, which the man always did until recently
Image credits: InteractionFar1463
The man decided to stop helping his wife’s family with their housework and was called out for it, despite them never treating him like he is family
The original poster of this story, who I’ll just call Mike, is a 34-year-old man who grew up in the foster care system, bouncing between homes and never finding his forever family.
But, when he married his wife, Jessica, 9 years ago, he hoped to gain the warm, supportive family he’d always dreamed of. Instead, he got pretty much the opposite of a dream family – the kind that smiles to your face but secretly whispers about you the second you leave the room.
Jessica’s family isn’t outwardly cruel, but their micro-aggressions could fill a self-help book titled “How to Subtly Demean Your Son-in-Law.” They have constantly compared him to other sons-in-law, made backhanded comments about his foster care background, and assumed he’s a less involved dad. Unfair, isn’t it?
Despite this frosty dynamic, Mike has spent years helping Jessica’s family. I’m talking repairs, assembly jobs, home fixes, you name it. Mike’s probably done it with his toolbox in his hand and a smile on his face.
But eventually he hit his breaking point when he spent hours fixing a stair issue at his in-laws’ house, only to find that everyone else got fed while he was left hungry and ignored. Their excuse? Apparently, they didn’t think he’d want to eat after working so hard, for hours. Excuse me, what?
Mike was finally fed up and called them out on their blatant lack of courtesy, sparking a family-wide drama-fest. When his wife’s siblings demanded he fix something else a few weeks later, Mike put his foot down, declaring that he was done being their go-to handyman.
Of course, they were appalled. “Family helps family,” they said, to which Mike brilliantly replied, “When have you ever treated me like family?” Mic drop, or better yet, hammer drop.
Image credits: EyeEm / Freepik (not the actual photo)
According to the pros, situations like this often come from a lack of mutual respect. When one party in a relationship consistently feels undervalued, it creates resentment, which can lead to conflict.
If someone isn’t willing to treat you with respect, you’re under no obligation to meet their expectations. But it’s equally important to have a supportive partner who backs you up, which seems to be the case here with Mike’s wife.
When people start treating you like a vending machine, thinking they can just press a few buttons and they get exactly what they want, it’s time to pause and reassess. Double standards are wild that way: they’ll demand favors with the enthusiasm of a kid at a candy store but conveniently “forget” that kindness works both ways. And honestly, it’s not just frustrating, it’s downright annoying and exhausting.
Experts say that when someone keeps asking you for favors, has no interest in you once their needs have been met but expects you to take care of them, they are taking advantage of you. In other words, if the relationship feels one-sided, it’s a clear sign that the other person, or people in some cases, are using you.
What’s your take on this story? Share your comments below!
Netizens side with the man, saying he is not a jerk for refusing to do favors for his wife’s family anymore, since they never treated him like a family member
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My husband's parents hate me, not openly "I hate you" but we all know. HOWEVER, they treated my daughter, their step-grandchild, as their own, (actually better than they treated their blood grands). After we moved quite some distance away, when we would visit, I was expected to watch and care for ALL the grandkids, and my nieces always stayed overnight for as long as we were there "because we want the kids to have as much time together as possible and their parents need a break." The result of this, I have special and fun memories - going to the river to tube, hiking, playing card games, me singing them to sleep, etc. SIL, BIL, and my in-laws lost out on wonderful moments that should have been the whole family. The pictures are of me and my hubby with the all the kids. And all the kids KNOW who they can count on, who cares and loves them. i was treated like a servant, but won the hearts of those that matter.
Good for you! Love your attitude and those kids will always remember what you've done for them.
Load More Replies...Wife is kinda sus here. She's not directly taking the family's side, but her non-action on behalf of her husband is pretty s****y.
This is completely insane. My BIL came to help my husband build and attach a load of bass traps in his studio today, and I was so grateful - I spent an hour making the most extravagant lunch for the both of them (and me, I suppose 😅). He left before dinner, but I definitely would have gone all out for that too. You don’t treat even your worst enemies like this, if they’re helping you out, never mind family,
Why would you need to trap fish in your studio? Jk. Low frequency build up sucks.
Load More Replies...This was a one and done drive by so it was probably fake. That said, it prompted a bunch of reminiscing from people who both gave and got help. A lot of cookies and Cokes. And lunches. The best was probably the one who had an old Hungarian landlady who would threaten her tenants with Goulash when they stumbled home hammered after a night out. He said they were genuinely afraid to decline.
Load More Replies...Already full NC with my "family" for other reasons but if they had ever treated my spouse like this I would have gone scorched earth on them immediately.
Jessica is as culpable as her family. How do they treat your kids? And do they talk down about you in their presence? You're well within your rights to go NC on them, and reduce the children's contact as well. Shame on Jessica first and foremost!
OPshould figure out how much work and time he fix things for the FIL and MIL and back charge them for all the work and time he did for them.
My grandparents were depression era and food is always offered or at the very least coffee. My parents do this and I will continue to because it's one of the few traditions that seem worth preserving. Like,it's just the done thing, as Bandit Heeler would say.
I read this with some surprise. Why should a foster child be less than a child growing up in a family? That is impossible for me to understand, but if the true answer is that they just don't like you, then your reaction is perfectly correct. You are NTA
My husband's parents hate me, not openly "I hate you" but we all know. HOWEVER, they treated my daughter, their step-grandchild, as their own, (actually better than they treated their blood grands). After we moved quite some distance away, when we would visit, I was expected to watch and care for ALL the grandkids, and my nieces always stayed overnight for as long as we were there "because we want the kids to have as much time together as possible and their parents need a break." The result of this, I have special and fun memories - going to the river to tube, hiking, playing card games, me singing them to sleep, etc. SIL, BIL, and my in-laws lost out on wonderful moments that should have been the whole family. The pictures are of me and my hubby with the all the kids. And all the kids KNOW who they can count on, who cares and loves them. i was treated like a servant, but won the hearts of those that matter.
Good for you! Love your attitude and those kids will always remember what you've done for them.
Load More Replies...Wife is kinda sus here. She's not directly taking the family's side, but her non-action on behalf of her husband is pretty s****y.
This is completely insane. My BIL came to help my husband build and attach a load of bass traps in his studio today, and I was so grateful - I spent an hour making the most extravagant lunch for the both of them (and me, I suppose 😅). He left before dinner, but I definitely would have gone all out for that too. You don’t treat even your worst enemies like this, if they’re helping you out, never mind family,
Why would you need to trap fish in your studio? Jk. Low frequency build up sucks.
Load More Replies...This was a one and done drive by so it was probably fake. That said, it prompted a bunch of reminiscing from people who both gave and got help. A lot of cookies and Cokes. And lunches. The best was probably the one who had an old Hungarian landlady who would threaten her tenants with Goulash when they stumbled home hammered after a night out. He said they were genuinely afraid to decline.
Load More Replies...Already full NC with my "family" for other reasons but if they had ever treated my spouse like this I would have gone scorched earth on them immediately.
Jessica is as culpable as her family. How do they treat your kids? And do they talk down about you in their presence? You're well within your rights to go NC on them, and reduce the children's contact as well. Shame on Jessica first and foremost!
OPshould figure out how much work and time he fix things for the FIL and MIL and back charge them for all the work and time he did for them.
My grandparents were depression era and food is always offered or at the very least coffee. My parents do this and I will continue to because it's one of the few traditions that seem worth preserving. Like,it's just the done thing, as Bandit Heeler would say.
I read this with some surprise. Why should a foster child be less than a child growing up in a family? That is impossible for me to understand, but if the true answer is that they just don't like you, then your reaction is perfectly correct. You are NTA
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