Man Punishes Wife For Not Making Him Breakfast, Receives A Reality Check
Interview With Expert
Compromise is vital in keeping a marriage thriving. Conversely, life can become problematic when couples fail to have that give-and-take dynamic and begin thinking as individuals.
In today’s story, Reddit user Striking-Jaguar3348 argued with his wife about cooking meals. After an ultimate disagreement, he felt the need to get back at her. He has since turned to the internet, asking if he was in the wrong or not.
Bored Panda also spoke with Dr. Amy Webb of The Thoughtful Parent for her insights into the potential challenges that couples face as parents.
It is important for married couples to find a middle ground when issues arise
Image credits: Elina Fairytale / Pexels (not the actual photo)
A man shared a story involving his wife and their cooking arrangements as parents
Image credits: cottonbro studio / Pexels (not the actual photo)
He expected his wife to cook him breakfast since he mostly cooks them dinner
Image credits: Vitaly Gariev / Pexels (not the actual photo)
But when she failed to do so, he decided to get back at her
Image credits: Striking-Jaguar3348
Image credits: Timur Weber / Pexels (not the actual photo)
Parenting challenges can lead to a strained relationship between married couples
The issue between the husband and wife in the story is linked to their obligations as parents. According to Dr. Amy, these problems arise from a possible lack of communication.
“The stress on the marriage often comes from disagreements about how to handle parenting challenges,” she explained. “Many couples don’t discuss their child-rearing ideas before having children, so many issues come up that they haven’t talked about in depth. Even if the partners share similar values, the daily life of parenting requires many decisions and compromises that can raise difficulties for couples.”
Dr. Amy adds that stress is a part of being a mother and father, and it’s all a matter of handling it well.
“Any stress on a couple’s marriage that comes from raising kids is just a natural byproduct of that path in life. Raising small humans is a big job, and the two people involved will not always agree, so some stress is inevitable.”
Image credits: KATRIN BOLOVTSOVA / Pexels (not the actual photo)
Avoiding marital issues from parenting challenges is about being a step ahead
The couple could have prevented the issue from escalating and causing tension between them. For one, Dr. Amy advises managing expectations.
“If couples go into parenthood expecting that there will be some stress, moments of chaos, things not going as planned, then they have a better chance to handle it.”
Many parents also tend to lose sight of what they should do and how to deal with the inevitable stresses. For Dr. Amy, keeping that big picture in mind is essential.
“In daily life, it’s easy to get into arguments about small issues that won’t really matter in the long-term—which particular food your child eats at one meal, how they do chores, etc.,” she said.
“Keeping the long-term goals you have for your child in mind makes it easier to compromise on these smaller issues.”
Commenters on the post shared their reactions, mostly faulting the husband for his actions
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When your reaction is to punish and not try to work things together you are the issue. She is an adult, with responsibilities and a brain. What kind of paternalistic mindset do you need to have to think it's okay to punish your wife to make a point ?
You are the only one here who makes a reasonable argument. Why are they not talking? That's the problem, not that he should eat cereal or some s**t
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Dude - are you actually letting her struggle getting herself ready, and the kids ready for daycare/school and get off to work on time, by herself, when you WFH, then complaining she didn't fix your brekkie and call you to the table? You are, frankly, a lazy a*s in the morning. She has to get dressed up, do makeup, organise her stuff for the day, while juggling two kids, getting them up, dressed, fed, without getting her work clothes messed up, and find time to eat/have coffee herself, then get them to day care on time. WTF are you doing? Walking down the hall? You get the calm, unpressured, end of childcare, no commute, and much less stress. She's feeling overwhelmed, pissed off, and resentful, because you are not helping when the pressure is on. Then, instead of you actually holding up your end, and you two having dinner together, and reconnecting and having some calm together, you pull some petty tit-for-tat and go right back into the arguement of "You didn't fix me breakfast." YTA
When your reaction is to punish and not try to work things together you are the issue. She is an adult, with responsibilities and a brain. What kind of paternalistic mindset do you need to have to think it's okay to punish your wife to make a point ?
You are the only one here who makes a reasonable argument. Why are they not talking? That's the problem, not that he should eat cereal or some s**t
Load More Replies... Dude - are you actually letting her struggle getting herself ready, and the kids ready for daycare/school and get off to work on time, by herself, when you WFH, then complaining she didn't fix your brekkie and call you to the table? You are, frankly, a lazy a*s in the morning. She has to get dressed up, do makeup, organise her stuff for the day, while juggling two kids, getting them up, dressed, fed, without getting her work clothes messed up, and find time to eat/have coffee herself, then get them to day care on time. WTF are you doing? Walking down the hall? You get the calm, unpressured, end of childcare, no commute, and much less stress. She's feeling overwhelmed, pissed off, and resentful, because you are not helping when the pressure is on. Then, instead of you actually holding up your end, and you two having dinner together, and reconnecting and having some calm together, you pull some petty tit-for-tat and go right back into the arguement of "You didn't fix me breakfast." YTA
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