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Wife Files For Divorce Soon After Husband Admits She Was A Backup Plan, Husband Cries ‘Poor Me’
Meeting your better half is special; you feel like the luckiest person in the world and can’t wait to spend time together, thinking how great it is that you chose to be with each other.
Unfortunately, some people settle on their significant other rather than choose them, which can understandably break their partner’s heart. That’s what happened to this redditor, whose husband of 10 years admitted that he only chose her because her best friend was taken. The woman poured her heart out to members of the ‘True Off My Chest’ subreddit, and soon enough, the husband shared his side of the story, too.
Scroll down to find both posts below, where you will also find our interview with a certified love life strategist, dating and relationship expert, Lisa Concepcion, who was kind enough to answer a few of Bored Panda’s questions.
RELATED:
Learning that you were your partner’s “Plan B” can hurt even years after getting together
Image credits: YuriArcursPeopleimages / envatoelements (not the actual photo)
This woman’s husband admitted that he had always had a crush on her best friend
Image credits: Garakta-Studio /envatoelements (not the actual photo)
Image credits: anon
Quite a few people believe in love at first sight, but even more do in the one true love
Image credits: Katerina Holmes / pexels (not the actual photo)
When both people show interest in one another, the anticipation of a relationship can be equally as exciting as the relationship itself. “Does he like me, too?”, “Did you see the way she looked at me?”, “I think they might be interested, but scared to say it” – such lines often tend to accompany the very beginning of a relationship in the making.
And while some people might need more time to warm up to someone, others know straight away that the person is their person. A Gallup’s survey from what feels like 12 years ago, but is actually nearly quarter of a century ago—the year 2000—found that just over half of Americans believe in love at first sight, with young people more prone to being suddenly hit by Cupid’s arrow.
The survey also revealed that more than love at first sight, people believe in “one true love”, endorsed by close to three-in-four respondents. Be that as it may, a person one considered their one true love might prove not to be worthy of such a title.
Admitting that someone was a backup plan is guaranteed to hurt their feelings
For the redditor, her husband confessing that she wasn’t his first choice caused the world around her to shatter and eventually resulted in her filing for divorce. Discussing the OP’s situation, a certified love life strategist, dating and relationship expert, Lisa Concepcion noted that admitting something like this can definitely destroy a relationship, as it’s most likely done out of malicious intent.
“The only reason to share this information is to hurt the person. This seems to be a deliberate—and toxic—jab designed to ruin his wife’s self worth,” she told Bored Panda in a recent interview. “Anyone with self worth wouldn’t appreciate hearing this and would say that, since the relationship was based on a lie and he didn’t really love her, the relationship should immediately end.”
The expert added that while hearing something like this is definitely not easy, it might be for the better in the long run. “This is definitely hurtful; however, truth is what matters the most. When people have the truth, they are empowered to make decisions based on facts instead of living a lie. I would imagine the wife feeling duped, calling her husband’s character into question,” Lisa said, adding that self worth matters, so it is crucial to choose your spouse wisely.
Some people settle for the wrong partners out of fear of being single
Image credits: RDNE Stock project / pexels (not the actual photo)
Unfortunately, some people decide to settle even if they don’t feel like they’ve met their one true love. It’s unclear if that was the case for the redditor’s husband; but research found that it is often what happens when single people get tired of or fear being single.
A study carried out by researchers from University of Toronto found that people with stronger fears of being single are willing to settle for less in relationships. “Sometimes they stay in relationships they aren’t happy in, and sometimes they want to date people who aren’t very good for them,” the lead researcher Stephanie Spielmann said in a statement released by the university.
Interestingly, the research also found that people who are willing to settle for less when it comes to romantic partners are not “blind” to their detrimental qualities. Respondents, who feared staying single, admitted that they would even date a person they considered a jerk, understanding fully that they would be less likely to have a successful, lasting relationship with said person.
The OP wasn’t willing to be with a person who settled for her instead of choosing to be with her, which arguably proved to be the right choice, bearing in mind the husband’s infidelity that followed. The man admitted to it in another post on the same subreddit, where he shared more details from his perspective; scroll down to find the story in his own words below.
Fellow redditors mentioned similar stories
People shared their thoughts in the comments
The OP’s husband posted on the same subreddit, too, sharing his side of the story
Image credits: YuriArcursPeopleimages / envatoelements (not the actual photo)
Image credits: jm_video / envatoelements (not the actual photo)
Image credits: anon
The husband’s story didn’t make him look that much better in netizens’ eyes
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What do you think ?
Alexandra 4 months ago
Perhaps the husband would like to re-read what he wrote? He can't be that stupid not to see that his own actions caused this divorce and that therefore he has no right to whine that he regrets it all. No Sir, you just f****d around and found out, that's all. You had zero empathy for your wife and you fail to see the impact of your actions on other people besides yourself, What does that make you? Y
Tamra 4 months ago
I highly doubt this man has the ability for such introspection, given that his telling of the story did nothing at all to refute what his poor wife shared, and just ended up making him look worse. I feel really sorry for this woman, but glad she's moving on.
Load More Replies...
Daniel Gómez 4 months ago
Unsurprisingly, the planet's overpopulated mostly by dumb as f*ck, clueless people, without capacity to be introspective and empathetic, and with a total lack of common sense... in regards to that last one, common sense is the least common of senses, and always has been.
Load More Replies...
Poison Ivy/Boo 4 months ago (edited)
What a complete tōssêrr! In what world would his side of the story would make people say "aw bless, you screwed around on your wife with her best friend and made a mistake...." If I said what I really want to say BP would ban me for life!!! But will add to this.....tosspot!!
Sunny Day 4 months ago
Anyone who believes it was just a "one night stand" between hubby & BFF, please contact me. I have a lovely bridge I'm selling.
Zena 4 months ago
Dude thinks his "first bad move" was not answering his wife when she asked about what he had said. Dude is completely delusional.
Jessie 1 month ago
Right? Like the real isn’t that he insulted his wife in front of her friends by basically calling her a spare bride because he couldn’t get the one he wanted.
Load More Replies... Broadredpanda 4 months ago
What a POS he got angry because she wanted answers. How f******g dare you get angry! And I hope you quick s**g was worth you both losing your marriage. My side c**kw***le You were jealous of your friends marriage, so you ruined yours and their (although she's disgusting too) nice one idiot! You shouldn't have wrote anything at all fool. I don't know why I'm this angry?
Stacy Jones 4 months ago
To the husband: your first "bad move" wasn't completely shutting down all communication while trying to gaslight your wife into believing it was she who shut down (because that's what really happened there; she wanted answers, she wanted to communicate, and you couldn't bring yourself to admit your failings to her any more than you can admit them to us). Your first "bad move" was continuing to have a friendship with Sarah after you married Amber, knowing that you were pining after her, comparing your wife to her, thinking of her as your "dream girl." That was emotional infidelity, and you should have told Amber from Day 1 this was an issue, so that you could have avoided it together. Your next "bad move" was confessing your feelings (at a party) because you were jealous of your true love's happiness. Your next bad move, that was the refusing to communicate and the gaslighting, and your grand finale was DESTROYING your true love's happiness because you were jealous of it. Get help, dude
Janis McClure 4 months ago
Sound to me like his wife made the right choice! You expecting sympathy cuz you fckd up...that was a dyk move and very childish on your part. Then you go sleep with the woman who would've been your first choice...explain that logic...you just double downed and managed to hurt your wife even more, rubbing salt in the wound you already inflicted. To the other woman...that was dirty and foul and you both deserve all the smoke your soon to be exes blow your way. Karma is a btch! 😅
Don 4 months ago
Bored Panda should be remaned as Toxic Panda. Down voting this content as it's another of the many negative content on Bored Panda, which is far from what their mission states, "The mission is to spread good news and highlight top artists from around the world." Case in point is this post and many more which are about deception, personal problems, grudges arguments, cheating, divorce, getting back at others. In general it's becoming increasingly negative. SAD
Sinners1978 4 months ago
The soon to be ex-husband did himself no favors by telling his side of the story. Just wow. Poor OP. I hope she takes him to the cleaners in the divorce.
Gordon W 4 months ago
BRUH! This is audacity and stupidity all rolled up in one! I had something similar happen to me years ago. I dated a girl off and on for two years, and one day she just upped and left! No apology, no goodbye, no rhyme or reason, nothing! I find out a year later the heifer got married, and within a few months of their first year of marriage, her husband got in some trouble, causing her more stress than what she’d caused me! She definitely FA&FO! Found out she was seeing me and him at the same time! What I just read would literally give “worse” a bad name!
Steve Hall 4 months ago
Sometimes people just can't be quiet no matter what the cost. It seems like there are four losers in this story.
Scott Rackley 4 months ago
Intervention? That has a strong possibility of instantly cementing the future course of action. It would me.
DarkViolet 4 months ago
"Intervention," my àss. Sarah was only trying to justify her and her bang partner's actions in Amber's eyes.
Load More Replies...
Wendy Herman 4 months ago
DB & his "dream girl" should both run away together now & leave "Amber" TF alone (& "Sarah's" soon-to-be ex, too). Except for any alimony/child support payments required, of course. Good Lord, I hope there were no children in either of these "families". I also hope the 2 people who were left shocked & heartbroken can rebuild their lives w/ better partners AND better friends.
Melissa Harris 4 months ago
Why didn't these two adulterous spouses just date/marry each other to begin with? Answer. He doesn't love Sarah, he's in lust with her. First thing he said about her is how gorgeous she is. Not how funny, or kind or great; how physically attractive he finds her.
Lynette Vella 4 months ago
This man is a total AH. The wife shouldn't have a second thought about divorcing him. He doesn't love her - never did. And her supposed BFF - that's no friend at all!
Kristen Woehlke 3 months ago
I totally understand! I thought my ex and I were fine. He left for Afghanistan and I, the dutiful wife stayed home to keep the home fires burning. He comes home and I get this... "A guy in my unit, his wife was cheating on him. I think you're cheating on me.". I gave him the " Spock eyebrow", only with a very confused look. Never in a million years would I have done that! Come to find out, he got with his battle buddy. He was going all Brokeback Mountain while I was home just wanting him back! Papers were served!!!
Bernie j. Janinsky 4 months ago
SN here: The OP & exBF's husband should have a celebratory dinner together & toast their mutual good luck: They Both Are Rid Of Shallow, Self-Absorbed Cheaters Who Deserve Each Other (& all the misery they'll create for themselves!)
Fox with a Dragon Tattoo 4 months ago
ESH here so much, except the other womans husband.. I feel bad for that guy. Some are definitely worse than others but wow what a mess.
Felix Quinones 4 months ago
My wife and I met in high school when my parents moved back to Puerto Rico in December 1977. As high school sweethearts you don't think far into the future, all you think about is the raging hormones. I decided to cool off the relationship because of the reputation of her mother, who forced one of her sisters to quit school because she had a boyfriend. I joined the US Army after graduation in 1979. After one year in Germany I decided to start writing her if she was still interested. I went home on leave during Christmas to formally ask her mother for permission to court her daughter. She instructed to write her father that working in New York. He granted permission. The following Christmas I returned and we got engaged. The summer of 1982 I left the Army and then in October of the same year we married. We now have been married for 41 short years. I like to think that men who realize that part was missing, when it was in plain sight suffer from a knucklehead anointing.
Dorian Gabriel 3 months ago
That woman acting like her spouse coming out as a trans woman is somehow comparable to a lifetime of lies and undermining needs to get a life. Jfc.
Jessie 1 month ago
Lying about your gender for years and making kids with someone is literally a lifetime of lies.
Load More Replies...
Sinners1978 4 months ago
Having a crush on a pop singer, ie a celebrity is completely different from it being a real person in your life. The soon to be ex-husband is a complete AH and drama queen. OP is NTA. And you understand nothing and arr just as delusional as the soon to be ex-husband.
Load More Replies... Alexandra 4 months ago
Perhaps the husband would like to re-read what he wrote? He can't be that stupid not to see that his own actions caused this divorce and that therefore he has no right to whine that he regrets it all. No Sir, you just f****d around and found out, that's all. You had zero empathy for your wife and you fail to see the impact of your actions on other people besides yourself, What does that make you? Y
Tamra 4 months ago
I highly doubt this man has the ability for such introspection, given that his telling of the story did nothing at all to refute what his poor wife shared, and just ended up making him look worse. I feel really sorry for this woman, but glad she's moving on.
Load More Replies... Daniel Gómez 4 months ago
Unsurprisingly, the planet's overpopulated mostly by dumb as f*ck, clueless people, without capacity to be introspective and empathetic, and with a total lack of common sense... in regards to that last one, common sense is the least common of senses, and always has been.
Load More Replies... Poison Ivy/Boo 4 months ago (edited)
What a complete tōssêrr! In what world would his side of the story would make people say "aw bless, you screwed around on your wife with her best friend and made a mistake...." If I said what I really want to say BP would ban me for life!!! But will add to this.....tosspot!!
Sunny Day 4 months ago
Anyone who believes it was just a "one night stand" between hubby & BFF, please contact me. I have a lovely bridge I'm selling.
Zena 4 months ago
Dude thinks his "first bad move" was not answering his wife when she asked about what he had said. Dude is completely delusional.
Jessie 1 month ago
Right? Like the real isn’t that he insulted his wife in front of her friends by basically calling her a spare bride because he couldn’t get the one he wanted.
Load More Replies... Broadredpanda 4 months ago
What a POS he got angry because she wanted answers. How f******g dare you get angry! And I hope you quick s**g was worth you both losing your marriage. My side c**kw***le You were jealous of your friends marriage, so you ruined yours and their (although she's disgusting too) nice one idiot! You shouldn't have wrote anything at all fool. I don't know why I'm this angry?
Stacy Jones 4 months ago
To the husband: your first "bad move" wasn't completely shutting down all communication while trying to gaslight your wife into believing it was she who shut down (because that's what really happened there; she wanted answers, she wanted to communicate, and you couldn't bring yourself to admit your failings to her any more than you can admit them to us). Your first "bad move" was continuing to have a friendship with Sarah after you married Amber, knowing that you were pining after her, comparing your wife to her, thinking of her as your "dream girl." That was emotional infidelity, and you should have told Amber from Day 1 this was an issue, so that you could have avoided it together. Your next "bad move" was confessing your feelings (at a party) because you were jealous of your true love's happiness. Your next bad move, that was the refusing to communicate and the gaslighting, and your grand finale was DESTROYING your true love's happiness because you were jealous of it. Get help, dude
Janis McClure 4 months ago
Sound to me like his wife made the right choice! You expecting sympathy cuz you fckd up...that was a dyk move and very childish on your part. Then you go sleep with the woman who would've been your first choice...explain that logic...you just double downed and managed to hurt your wife even more, rubbing salt in the wound you already inflicted. To the other woman...that was dirty and foul and you both deserve all the smoke your soon to be exes blow your way. Karma is a btch! 😅
Don 4 months ago
Bored Panda should be remaned as Toxic Panda. Down voting this content as it's another of the many negative content on Bored Panda, which is far from what their mission states, "The mission is to spread good news and highlight top artists from around the world." Case in point is this post and many more which are about deception, personal problems, grudges arguments, cheating, divorce, getting back at others. In general it's becoming increasingly negative. SAD
Sinners1978 4 months ago
The soon to be ex-husband did himself no favors by telling his side of the story. Just wow. Poor OP. I hope she takes him to the cleaners in the divorce.
Gordon W 4 months ago
BRUH! This is audacity and stupidity all rolled up in one! I had something similar happen to me years ago. I dated a girl off and on for two years, and one day she just upped and left! No apology, no goodbye, no rhyme or reason, nothing! I find out a year later the heifer got married, and within a few months of their first year of marriage, her husband got in some trouble, causing her more stress than what she’d caused me! She definitely FA&FO! Found out she was seeing me and him at the same time! What I just read would literally give “worse” a bad name!
Steve Hall 4 months ago
Sometimes people just can't be quiet no matter what the cost. It seems like there are four losers in this story.
Scott Rackley 4 months ago
Intervention? That has a strong possibility of instantly cementing the future course of action. It would me.
DarkViolet 4 months ago
"Intervention," my àss. Sarah was only trying to justify her and her bang partner's actions in Amber's eyes.
Load More Replies... Wendy Herman 4 months ago
DB & his "dream girl" should both run away together now & leave "Amber" TF alone (& "Sarah's" soon-to-be ex, too). Except for any alimony/child support payments required, of course. Good Lord, I hope there were no children in either of these "families". I also hope the 2 people who were left shocked & heartbroken can rebuild their lives w/ better partners AND better friends.
Melissa Harris 4 months ago
Why didn't these two adulterous spouses just date/marry each other to begin with? Answer. He doesn't love Sarah, he's in lust with her. First thing he said about her is how gorgeous she is. Not how funny, or kind or great; how physically attractive he finds her.
Lynette Vella 4 months ago
This man is a total AH. The wife shouldn't have a second thought about divorcing him. He doesn't love her - never did. And her supposed BFF - that's no friend at all!
Kristen Woehlke 3 months ago
I totally understand! I thought my ex and I were fine. He left for Afghanistan and I, the dutiful wife stayed home to keep the home fires burning. He comes home and I get this... "A guy in my unit, his wife was cheating on him. I think you're cheating on me.". I gave him the " Spock eyebrow", only with a very confused look. Never in a million years would I have done that! Come to find out, he got with his battle buddy. He was going all Brokeback Mountain while I was home just wanting him back! Papers were served!!!
Bernie j. Janinsky 4 months ago
SN here: The OP & exBF's husband should have a celebratory dinner together & toast their mutual good luck: They Both Are Rid Of Shallow, Self-Absorbed Cheaters Who Deserve Each Other (& all the misery they'll create for themselves!)
Fox with a Dragon Tattoo 4 months ago
ESH here so much, except the other womans husband.. I feel bad for that guy. Some are definitely worse than others but wow what a mess.
Felix Quinones 4 months ago
My wife and I met in high school when my parents moved back to Puerto Rico in December 1977. As high school sweethearts you don't think far into the future, all you think about is the raging hormones. I decided to cool off the relationship because of the reputation of her mother, who forced one of her sisters to quit school because she had a boyfriend. I joined the US Army after graduation in 1979. After one year in Germany I decided to start writing her if she was still interested. I went home on leave during Christmas to formally ask her mother for permission to court her daughter. She instructed to write her father that working in New York. He granted permission. The following Christmas I returned and we got engaged. The summer of 1982 I left the Army and then in October of the same year we married. We now have been married for 41 short years. I like to think that men who realize that part was missing, when it was in plain sight suffer from a knucklehead anointing.
Dorian Gabriel 3 months ago
That woman acting like her spouse coming out as a trans woman is somehow comparable to a lifetime of lies and undermining needs to get a life. Jfc.
Jessie 1 month ago
Lying about your gender for years and making kids with someone is literally a lifetime of lies.
Load More Replies... Sinners1978 4 months ago
Having a crush on a pop singer, ie a celebrity is completely different from it being a real person in your life. The soon to be ex-husband is a complete AH and drama queen. OP is NTA. And you understand nothing and arr just as delusional as the soon to be ex-husband.
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