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Stepmother Uses Toxic Discipline Methods On Kids, Father Finds Out And Tells Her That She Has No Say In How They Should Be Raised
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Stepmother Uses Toxic Discipline Methods On Kids, Father Finds Out And Tells Her That She Has No Say In How They Should Be Raised

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Having a family is so worth it – however, before settling down, it’s significant to understand that you’re ready to give it your all. Your what used to be carefree life will now be full of responsibilities you’re bound to take on for your partner and your children, and it’s essential to acknowledge that you’re, in fact, are willing to put them first.

Life is not all about happiness, and sometimes it gives you the lemons that everyone’s talking about – you might fall out of love or separate due to any other reasons, which means that you’ll have to figure it out and co-parent. It’s stressful and emotional, especially when there are stepparents involved.

This online user took it to one of Reddit’s well-known communities to share a story involving his new wife and her rather abusive ways of disciplining his children. The post received nearly 14K upvotes and 2.6K worth of comments discussing the woman’s unhealthy tactics.

More info: Reddit

Co-parenting is never too easy, especially when there are stepparents involved

Image credits: Don DeBold (not the actual photo)

Being a parent is extremely nerve-racking, let alone if you’re separated. It’s in your best interest to find a way and build a friendly relationship with your former partner in order to give your child the life they deserve. There might be a few bumps on the road, especially if you remarry – however, it’s always important to remember to put your kids’ needs first.

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New wife left to stay with her mother after partner called her out on her abusive discipline methods

Image credits: callmedisgruntled

The author begins his story by explaining that he and his ex-wife have a 9 y.o. daughter and a 12 y.o. son and that they divorced shortly after their daughter was born. The family was lucky to end things rather peacefully – the OP’s former partner fell out of love and he calmly accepted it – so they still maintain a great relationship.

Image credits: callmedisgruntled

The man also revealed that co-parenting has been easy for him, as they have 50/50 custody where no authorities were involved. The children spend a week with him and then the next week with their mom, as they live quite nearby. The ex-partners both agreed on a certain discipline method they use on their children, so there’ll be no favoritism involved.

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Image credits: callmedisgruntled

The author has been dating a woman for 7 years and ended up marrying her last year. He mentioned that she was always great with his children – however, everything changed in a moment. The man’s 9-year-old managed to steal a bunch of chocolate from a corner store, and instead of disciplining the girl using the family’s agreed system, the OP’s new partner took his children home and made the daughter eat all the chocolate even after she complained of a belly ache.

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Image credits: callmedisgruntled

Naturally, as soon as the man found out about his partner’s toxic methods, he confronted her. He explained that he and his ex-wife have a certain tactic they use when their kids misbehave and that she had absolutely no choice in punishing them, especially using such an abusive method. Of course, the author’s wife got upset and said that he can’t expect her to be married to him and not have a say in how the children are raised, to which the man repeated himself and said that she should respect and follow the upbringing techniques he and his ex-wife agreed on.

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Image credits: callmedisgruntled

The father-of-two got a few days of the silent treatment and was later left alone as his wife simply couldn’t look at him anymore. Later on, the MIL decided to call and berate him, saying that he was mistreating her daughter by not allowing her to discipline his children. The man also spoke to his ex-wife about this rather uneasy situation and she thanked him for being so defensive of their choices.

Image credits: callmedisgruntled

The OP later updated the post to let the readers know that, just as they’ve suspected, his new partner was also using these abusive punishment methods on his 12-year-old son. For instance, he was forced to stand on burning concrete when he jumped into the pool when he was told not to, the woman also managed to rip his sketchbook because he once drew on a desk, etc.

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Image credits: callmedisgruntled

Moreover, the man revealed that his son decided to tell on his stepmom simply because he saw his little sister being punished. So, once again, he confronted his wife, though unfortunately, she didn’t seem to find a problem with her toxic and inappropriate actions.

Fellow Redditors sympathized with the author and collectively agreed that his current partner was wrong

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Darja Zinina

Darja Zinina

Author, Community member

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Darja is a Content Creator at Bored Panda. She studied at the University of Westminster, where she got her Bachelor's degree in Contemporary Media Practice. She loves photography, foreign music and re-watching Forrest Gump.

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Darja Zinina

Darja Zinina

Author, Community member

Darja is a Content Creator at Bored Panda. She studied at the University of Westminster, where she got her Bachelor's degree in Contemporary Media Practice. She loves photography, foreign music and re-watching Forrest Gump.

Saulฤ— Tolstych

Saulฤ— Tolstych

Author, Community member

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Saulฤ— is a photo editor at Bored Panda with bachelor's degree in Multimedia and Computer Design. The thing that relaxes her the best is going into YouTube rabbit hole. In her free time she loves painting, embroidering and taking walks in nature.

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Saulฤ— Tolstych

Saulฤ— Tolstych

Author, Community member

Saulฤ— is a photo editor at Bored Panda with bachelor's degree in Multimedia and Computer Design. The thing that relaxes her the best is going into YouTube rabbit hole. In her free time she loves painting, embroidering and taking walks in nature.

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Peppy Piplup
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Her solution for stealing chocolate is to make it impossible for the shop to get their product back at all?

James Smith
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The new wife's punishments are plain wrong. The kids are learning "my stepmom will physically hurt me" and nothing else. I'm just wondering how they got so far in the relationship without a conversation about discipline philosophies. She could have adjusted if those expectations were clear, and then it would have been obvious whether he wanted her to be around his kids for 7 years or not. The dad is partly at fault, imo.

-
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The fact that the stepmother refuses to change makes his upcoming divorce right. In my late teens, I had some wrong-headed ideas about raising children, which I discussed with a boyfriend. I'm grateful that my boyfriend confronted me about it. He simply looked shocked and said, "My parents never treated me that way." He turned out fine, so that was the start of my questioning my mother's propaganda.

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Peppy Piplup
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Her solution for stealing chocolate is to make it impossible for the shop to get their product back at all?

James Smith
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The new wife's punishments are plain wrong. The kids are learning "my stepmom will physically hurt me" and nothing else. I'm just wondering how they got so far in the relationship without a conversation about discipline philosophies. She could have adjusted if those expectations were clear, and then it would have been obvious whether he wanted her to be around his kids for 7 years or not. The dad is partly at fault, imo.

-
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The fact that the stepmother refuses to change makes his upcoming divorce right. In my late teens, I had some wrong-headed ideas about raising children, which I discussed with a boyfriend. I'm grateful that my boyfriend confronted me about it. He simply looked shocked and said, "My parents never treated me that way." He turned out fine, so that was the start of my questioning my mother's propaganda.

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