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Man Loses It When Wife Asks Him To Do A Paternity Test For His Sister’s Kid, Regrets His Reaction
Sometimes, your imagination can be very cruel because it comes up with various unlikely scenarios about your loved ones. Your insecurities and irrational fears can work against you so strongly that you push away the people nearest and dearest to you. The result? Tension. Frustration. Resentment. And damaged relationships.
One anonymous man turned to the AITAH online community for advice regarding an incredibly sensitive situation in his family. He opened up that he spends a lot of time with his nephew, who looks like him, which made his wife suspect that he might possibly be his father. Now, she’s demanding that he do a paternity test for his nephew.
Read on for the full story, as well as an important update that the OP shared. Bored Panda has reached out to the author for further comment, and we’ll update the article once we hear back from him.
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Having positive relationships with your relatives and spending lots of quality time with them probably sounds healthy to most people
Image credits: LightFieldStudios / envatoelements (not the actual photo)
However, one woman was suspicious of her husband having a strong bond with his nephew. She demanded that he get a paternity test for him
Image credits: msvyatkovska / envatoelements (not the actual photo)
Image credits: PotentialTwos
Being overly paranoid about something can significantly reduce your quality of life
Image credits: nd3000 / envatoelements (not the actual photo)
Psych Central defines irrational fears as fears that are out of proportion with the situation that presents itself. Irrational fears occur when there’s no danger and there are no threats around. It’s an over-the-top reaction to a mundane, everyday situation. This fear can be so incredibly intense that the individual might go into their fight, flight, freeze, or fawn response.
Take, for example, flying. It’s natural to feel scared if the plane gets thrown about by a bit of turbulence. We’ve all been there! However, an irrationally terrified individual would be so scared of the plane crashing that they don’t even fly anywhere.
Though this keeps them ‘safe’ (from their perspective), they sacrifice their quality of life. For instance, now their options are extremely limited when going on holiday or having to travel for work.
Similarly, it’s normal to feel a bit nervous about going on a date with someone. Nobody enjoys feeling awkward, embarrassed, or like they’re wasting their time. Meanwhile, someone who is irrationally afraid might be so focused on the small possibility that they might be humiliated on their date that they avoid dating at all. The result? Loneliness, isolation, and a withering social life.
Having irrational fears may indicate that the person suffers from an anxiety disorder
Image credits: halfpoint / envatoelements (not the actual photo)
To adapt this framework to the viral story author’s situation, his wife may potentially have an irrational fear that he’s his nephew’s father. She appears to perceive his close bond with him as one of father-and-son, not uncle-and-nephew. Her response is, therefore, disproportionally large.
Irrational fears can be an indication that someone suffers from an anxiety disorder, for example, generalized anxiety disorder, social anxiety disorder, panic disorder, or any number of phobias.
Anxiety is very common and involves feeling tense, fatigued, irritable, and unable to focus. 31% of adults are estimated to experience anxiety at some time in their lives.
Tackling irrational fears won’t happen overnight. It’ll require a lot of dedicated time and effort. If you have the time and means to do so, it may be very much worth seeing a specialist who specializes in areas like treating anxiety.
Meanwhile, some lifestyle changes can help you manage your stress better. For example, eating healthier, moving more, and avoiding caffeine, sugar, and processed foods is going to make you more resilient physically and mentally. Some other things that help a ton include getting some proper sleep, having an active social life, and spending time in nature, away from screens.
The husband found himself in the middle of an emotionally messy situation which had to be tackled delicately
Image credits: nd3000 /envatolelements (not the actual photo)
The man initially posted his story on AITAH because he’d snapped at his wife for even suggesting that he had been unfaithful and fathered his sister’s child.
The frustrated husband’s story made a huge splash on the internet. At the time of writing, his initial post garnered 14k upvotes and 6k comments. Meanwhile, an update that he shared a bit later after trying to solve the entire messy situation got 11k upvotes and 3.3k comments.
Clearly, the man’s story resonated with a lot of people all around the globe. Many readers wanted to help the OP out, so they shared some tips, including what they’d personally do. For some internet users, the entire situation was a big, bright red flag that the marriage isn’t healthy.
You would think that having a close bond with your family would be seen as a positive thing by your partner. It’s natural to want your significant other to get along with your relatives if you’re on good terms with them.
However, if they don’t see eye to eye, it can create a ton of pressure in your life. Now, you’re essentially forced to choose between different people you care about. Or you’re left to look for some sort of compromise where everyone is cordial with each other, even if they’re not the best of friends.
How would you have handled the entire situation, dear Pandas? What advice would you give the author if you could sit down and talk to him face to face? Do you think there’s any chance that the wife will be able to have a healthy relationship with her sister-in-law and her kid after her meltdown? Let us know what you think in the comments.
Many internet users were shocked by what they read. Here’s the advice they gave the man
A few people thought the situation was more nuanced and called out the author
The husband shared an update after he started looking for a compromise and enforcing some healthy boundaries
Image credits: Zinkevych_D / envatoelements (not the actual photo)
Image credits: PotentialTwos
Here’s what some readers had to say after they read the continuation of the story
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What do you think ?
P.L. Packer 2 months ago
I agree, only for all of them. The wife, OP and his sister.
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Rae Black 2 months ago
Getting more information from the updates I can see where the wife might have issue. She's already talked to him "over the years" about how much time he spends over at his sister's place. And then he wants to not have her complain anymore about it AND wants to go on vacation without his wife. Now I'm gettjng creeper out.
lenka 2 months ago
Yeah, I find that a little odd too. Why would he even want to go on holidays with his sister and not his wife? It sounds like he may have been prioritizing his relationship with his sister at the expense of the wife for a very long time. While this would not lead me conclude incest, I am curious about the other side of it, because I wonder if some of this behavior has fed into whatever conclusions she has reached (reasonable or not). The sister clearly has had a role to play in creating this dynamic. I wonder what their relationship is like? I also think his initial rage response is odd. While anger would be a natural part of the shock, to declare that marrying her was biggest mistake of his life is huge. If my husband ever said that to me I would consider the marriage over regardless of the circumstances.
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lenka 2 months ago
This post raises so many questions and an equal number of red flags. Why are they childfree? Was it a choice? Not by choice? Why did the wife start to get paranoid. Her accusations are crazy but where did they come from? The kid is 13. When did this paranoia start? Does she want kids? Is it jealousy over the kid or is it something to do with the amount of time her husband spends prioritizing his sister and nephew over her? Clearly the wife needs some therapy (and perhaps some relationship therapy) but I think there is more to this story.
FreeTheUnicorn 2 months ago
Childfree is usually used to indicate by choice, where don't have children is neutral and childless is derogatory.
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P.L. Packer 2 months ago
I agree, only for all of them. The wife, OP and his sister.
Load More Replies... Rae Black 2 months ago
Getting more information from the updates I can see where the wife might have issue. She's already talked to him "over the years" about how much time he spends over at his sister's place. And then he wants to not have her complain anymore about it AND wants to go on vacation without his wife. Now I'm gettjng creeper out.
lenka 2 months ago
Yeah, I find that a little odd too. Why would he even want to go on holidays with his sister and not his wife? It sounds like he may have been prioritizing his relationship with his sister at the expense of the wife for a very long time. While this would not lead me conclude incest, I am curious about the other side of it, because I wonder if some of this behavior has fed into whatever conclusions she has reached (reasonable or not). The sister clearly has had a role to play in creating this dynamic. I wonder what their relationship is like? I also think his initial rage response is odd. While anger would be a natural part of the shock, to declare that marrying her was biggest mistake of his life is huge. If my husband ever said that to me I would consider the marriage over regardless of the circumstances.
Load More Replies... lenka 2 months ago
This post raises so many questions and an equal number of red flags. Why are they childfree? Was it a choice? Not by choice? Why did the wife start to get paranoid. Her accusations are crazy but where did they come from? The kid is 13. When did this paranoia start? Does she want kids? Is it jealousy over the kid or is it something to do with the amount of time her husband spends prioritizing his sister and nephew over her? Clearly the wife needs some therapy (and perhaps some relationship therapy) but I think there is more to this story.
FreeTheUnicorn 2 months ago
Childfree is usually used to indicate by choice, where don't have children is neutral and childless is derogatory.
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