With continuing advances in medicine and leaps in technology, people can sometimes forget that pregnancy and giving birth can still be dangerous at times. Both for the mother and the child. There are some difficult moments in life when someone might have to choose whom to keep alive during labor. There are no easy answers. But everyone is quick to judge, whatever your choice.

A mom, who goes by the handle u/Aithana on Reddit, turned to the AITA community with a very sensitive topic that she wanted to tackle. She shared how, before she went into labor, she had asked her husband to choose her life over her baby’s if it ever came to that. Thankfully, she had a successful birth, and everyone is happy and healthy. But she still believed her choice was the right one for her.

However, the mom quickly learned that some friendships are built on sand. When the truth came out about what she’d asked from her husband back in the past, her friends immediately turned on her. Scroll down for the full story.

A small warning, dear Pandas, the story can be emotionally draining and might make some of you feel uncomfortable.

Labor and delivery nurse Holly D. answered Bored Panda’s questions about the possible risks and what medical professionals do in cases of emergency. She told us that the response of doctors and nurses depends on what the risk is and who the emergency is for.

“Always, the goal is a healthy mom and a healthy baby. If one is experiencing an intolerance to labor, expediting delivery is always the first choice. We as specialized professionals can do a handful of interventions to help the baby while the baby is still in utero, but if the baby is delivered we are able to do more focused interventions to help a baby that is in distress,” nurse Holly said.

“The same for the pregnant patient, if pregnancy is causing severe medical complications that can cause death or severe trauma (seizures) then the goal is to deliver. This would allow to take that added stress off their body, and prevent further irreversible complications,” she told us.

Even though giving birth is safer than in the past, emergencies and accidents still happen. Sometimes, parents need to make difficult choices

Image credits: Unsplash (not the actual photo)

One mom shared how her friends reacted after they found out what she asked of her husband in case of an emergency during labor

Image credits: Pexels (not the actual photo)

Image credits: Aithana

Image credits: Pexels (not the actual photo)

Labor and delivery nurse Holly told Bored Panda that gestational diabetes, which the redditor had developed, is not uncommon. “[It] can be managed/controlled by the patient. However, the patient’s lack in compliance with managing this diagnosis can cause further high-risk complications in the pregnancy for not only the mom but the baby as well,” she warned.

Holly noted that neither nor the baby is prioritized one over the other. “It’s more like if either of them develops an inability to cope with the pregnancy, and we are unable to maintain reasonable symptoms and promote a healthy pregnancy for both of them, then delivering will be prioritized,” she explained.

“These decisions are always made with the patient and their partner. Patients are also made aware in the event of an emergency what those scenarios may look like. Most always, a Neonatal team is consulting parents who are admitted for high-risk pregnancy and preterm delivery for after birth. Most times during the consultation, they give parents an idea of what the plan of care may look like for the preterm infant.”

The mom’s friends thought that she was horrible for having asked her husband to save her instead of the baby (if things would have come to that). Redditor u/Aithana stressed that she simply wanted to be prepared for all eventualities, including what would happen if she ever went into a coma.

These aren’t things that any of us like to think about, but some would say that it is important to have a crystal clear plan for critical situations. But whether or not someone goes through with these brutally honest discussions with their partner is completely up to them. What happens in these sorts of emergencies isn’t for outsiders to judge. Let us know in the comments what you thought of the mom’s friends’ reactions, Pandas.

In the United States, the maternal mortality rate was roughly 17.4 per 100k pregnancies in 2018. This meant that, in that year, there were approximately 660 maternal deaths, according to The Commonwealth Fund.

Over half of all recorded maternal deaths in the country occurred after the day of birth. Meanwhile, given how large the country is, these rates vary a lot from state to state. Some reported a rate of lower than 15 while others had a rate of more than 30.

In the US, the maternal death rate for Hispanic women is 11.8. For white women, it is 14.7. Meanwhile, the rate is 37.1 per 100k pregnancies for black women.

Here’s what people said about the mom’s choice

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