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Friends ‘Disgusted’ After This Mom Tells Her Husband To Save Her Life Over The Baby’s
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Friends ‘Disgusted’ After This Mom Tells Her Husband To Save Her Life Over The Baby’s

Friends 'Disgusted' After This Mom Tells Her Husband To Save Her Life Over The Baby'sWoman Wonders If She Was Wrong To Ask Husband To Save Her Life Instead Of Her Baby's During Birth After She Gets Called Out By FriendsWoman Asks If She's Wrong For Telling Her Husband To Save Her Life Over The Baby's During Birth After Her Friends Call Her OutMom’s Friends Tell Her They’re Disgusted That She Asked Her Husband To Save Her Instead Of The Baby During LaborMother’s Friends Were “Disgusted” At Her Request To Save Her Life Over Her Baby’s During BirthWife Tells Husband To Choose Her Over Their Child During Birth If It Comes To That, Her Friends Call Her Woman Tells Her Husband That Woman Wonders If She Was Wrong To Ask Husband To Save Her Life Instead Of Her Baby's During Birth Because Her Friends Called It Mom Asks The Internet Whether She Was Wrong To Tell Her Husband To Save Her Instead Of The Baby In A Hypothetical Emergency Scenario
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With continuing advances in medicine and leaps in technology, people can sometimes forget that pregnancy and giving birth can still be dangerous at times. Both for the mother and the child. There are some difficult moments in life when someone might have to choose whom to keep alive during labor. There are no easy answers. But everyone is quick to judge, whatever your choice.

A mom, who goes by the handle u/Aithana on Reddit, turned to the AITA community with a very sensitive topic that she wanted to tackle. She shared how, before she went into labor, she had asked her husband to choose her life over her baby’s if it ever came to that. Thankfully, she had a successful birth, and everyone is happy and healthy. But she still believed her choice was the right one for her.

However, the mom quickly learned that some friendships are built on sand. When the truth came out about what she’d asked from her husband back in the past, her friends immediately turned on her. Scroll down for the full story.

A small warning, dear Pandas, the story can be emotionally draining and might make some of you feel uncomfortable.

Labor and delivery nurse Holly D. answered Bored Panda’s questions about the possible risks and what medical professionals do in cases of emergency. She told us that the response of doctors and nurses depends on what the risk is and who the emergency is for.

“Always, the goal is a healthy mom and a healthy baby. If one is experiencing an intolerance to labor, expediting delivery is always the first choice. We as specialized professionals can do a handful of interventions to help the baby while the baby is still in utero, but if the baby is delivered we are able to do more focused interventions to help a baby that is in distress,” nurse Holly said.

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“The same for the pregnant patient, if pregnancy is causing severe medical complications that can cause death or severe trauma (seizures) then the goal is to deliver. This would allow to take that added stress off their body, and prevent further irreversible complications,” she told us.

Even though giving birth is safer than in the past, emergencies and accidents still happen. Sometimes, parents need to make difficult choices

Image credits: Unsplash (not the actual photo)

One mom shared how her friends reacted after they found out what she asked of her husband in case of an emergency during labor

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Image credits: Pexels (not the actual photo)

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Image credits: Aithana

Image credits: Pexels (not the actual photo)

Labor and delivery nurse Holly told Bored Panda that gestational diabetes, which the redditor had developed, is not uncommon. “[It] can be managed/controlled by the patient. However, the patient’s lack in compliance with managing this diagnosis can cause further high-risk complications in the pregnancy for not only the mom but the baby as well,” she warned.

Holly noted that neither nor the baby is prioritized one over the other. “It’s more like if either of them develops an inability to cope with the pregnancy, and we are unable to maintain reasonable symptoms and promote a healthy pregnancy for both of them, then delivering will be prioritized,” she explained.

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“These decisions are always made with the patient and their partner. Patients are also made aware in the event of an emergency what those scenarios may look like. Most always, a Neonatal team is consulting parents who are admitted for high-risk pregnancy and preterm delivery for after birth. Most times during the consultation, they give parents an idea of what the plan of care may look like for the preterm infant.”

The mom’s friends thought that she was horrible for having asked her husband to save her instead of the baby (if things would have come to that). Redditor u/Aithana stressed that she simply wanted to be prepared for all eventualities, including what would happen if she ever went into a coma.

These aren’t things that any of us like to think about, but some would say that it is important to have a crystal clear plan for critical situations. But whether or not someone goes through with these brutally honest discussions with their partner is completely up to them. What happens in these sorts of emergencies isn’t for outsiders to judge. Let us know in the comments what you thought of the mom’s friends’ reactions, Pandas.

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In the United States, the maternal mortality rate was roughly 17.4 per 100k pregnancies in 2018. This meant that, in that year, there were approximately 660 maternal deaths, according to The Commonwealth Fund.

Over half of all recorded maternal deaths in the country occurred after the day of birth. Meanwhile, given how large the country is, these rates vary a lot from state to state. Some reported a rate of lower than 15 while others had a rate of more than 30.

In the US, the maternal death rate for Hispanic women is 11.8. For white women, it is 14.7. Meanwhile, the rate is 37.1 per 100k pregnancies for black women.

Here’s what people said about the mom’s choice

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Jonas Grinevičius

Jonas Grinevičius

Writer, BoredPanda staff

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Storytelling, journalism, and art are a core part of who I am. I've been writing and drawing ever since I could walk—there is nothing else I'd rather do. My formal education, however, is focused on politics, philosophy, and economics because I've always been curious about the gap between the ideal and the real. At work, I'm a Senior Writer and I cover a broad range of topics that I'm passionate about: from psychology and changes in work culture to healthy living, relationships, and design. In my spare time, I'm an avid hiker and reader, enjoy writing short stories, and love to doodle. I thrive when I'm outdoors, going on small adventures in nature. However, you can also find me enjoying a big mug of coffee with a good book (or ten) and entertaining friends with fantasy tabletop games and sci-fi movies.

Read less »
Jonas Grinevičius

Jonas Grinevičius

Writer, BoredPanda staff

Storytelling, journalism, and art are a core part of who I am. I've been writing and drawing ever since I could walk—there is nothing else I'd rather do. My formal education, however, is focused on politics, philosophy, and economics because I've always been curious about the gap between the ideal and the real. At work, I'm a Senior Writer and I cover a broad range of topics that I'm passionate about: from psychology and changes in work culture to healthy living, relationships, and design. In my spare time, I'm an avid hiker and reader, enjoy writing short stories, and love to doodle. I thrive when I'm outdoors, going on small adventures in nature. However, you can also find me enjoying a big mug of coffee with a good book (or ten) and entertaining friends with fantasy tabletop games and sci-fi movies.

Mindaugas Balčiauskas

Mindaugas Balčiauskas

Author, BoredPanda staff

Read more »

I'm a visual editor at Bored Panda. I kickstart my day with a mug of coffee bigger than my head, ready to tackle Photoshop. I navigate through the digital jungle with finesse, fueled by bamboo breaks and caffeine kicks. When the workday winds down, you might catch me devouring bamboo snacks while binging on the latest TV show, gaming or I could be out in nature, soaking up the tranquility and communing with my inner panda.

Read less »

Mindaugas Balčiauskas

Mindaugas Balčiauskas

Author, BoredPanda staff

I'm a visual editor at Bored Panda. I kickstart my day with a mug of coffee bigger than my head, ready to tackle Photoshop. I navigate through the digital jungle with finesse, fueled by bamboo breaks and caffeine kicks. When the workday winds down, you might catch me devouring bamboo snacks while binging on the latest TV show, gaming or I could be out in nature, soaking up the tranquility and communing with my inner panda.

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MiriPanda
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Jesus Christ, what's wrong with people. Totally inappropriate to ask him to "kill" his baby, but 100 % fine asking him to "kill" his wife and mother of child no 1... *sarcasm off*. Can we stop expecting ALL mothers to be always martyers please. Also, I think that in a 50/50 case of either of them dying and no one to ask (eg father not present, mother unconscious), doctors will automatically try to save the already existing life before the unborn one.

Hobby Hopper
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm not a biologist or medical professional, so my opinion is admittedly, of limited value, but from what I've observed, nature strongly favors the life of the mother over the child, at least in mammals. I know it doesn't make things easier for anyone grieving the loss of an unborn child though.

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Veronica Sjöberg
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

See nothing wrong with that choice. Even if you choose to be pregnant and all that it is a sacrifice in itself. I see nothing wrong with at least try your best to not get killed in the process. And BLAH for thinking "but the father may want his baby" - yes, I think both of you do but should it be at the cost of the womans life? In that way of thinking she's only used as a baby maker and nothing else.

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MiriPanda
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Jesus Christ, what's wrong with people. Totally inappropriate to ask him to "kill" his baby, but 100 % fine asking him to "kill" his wife and mother of child no 1... *sarcasm off*. Can we stop expecting ALL mothers to be always martyers please. Also, I think that in a 50/50 case of either of them dying and no one to ask (eg father not present, mother unconscious), doctors will automatically try to save the already existing life before the unborn one.

Hobby Hopper
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm not a biologist or medical professional, so my opinion is admittedly, of limited value, but from what I've observed, nature strongly favors the life of the mother over the child, at least in mammals. I know it doesn't make things easier for anyone grieving the loss of an unborn child though.

Load More Replies...
Veronica Sjöberg
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

See nothing wrong with that choice. Even if you choose to be pregnant and all that it is a sacrifice in itself. I see nothing wrong with at least try your best to not get killed in the process. And BLAH for thinking "but the father may want his baby" - yes, I think both of you do but should it be at the cost of the womans life? In that way of thinking she's only used as a baby maker and nothing else.

Load More Comments
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