Man Tries To Prove To Wife She Doesn’t Have A Peanut Allergy, Insists On Eating It In Front Of Her
Interview With ExpertAllergies are a nasty thing to deal with, that’s no secret. Not only are they annoying with their itchiness and other vexing symptoms, but they can also be life-threatening. So, it’s expected that when a person deals with it, people around them strive to make their life as easy as possible, helping them to avoid allergens.
Sadly, some people are jerks, who purposefully put allergic folks in danger. Something like that happened to today’s author — after finding out about her allergy to peanut butter, she asked her husband to opt for butter from other nuts. But he refused to do so and pretty soon the situation got very ugly.
More info: Mumsnet
It’s heartbreaking when one of the closest people to you is deliberately causing you harm
Image credits: Maryam Sicard / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
A woman tried exposing her daughter to peanut butter and found out she’s allergic to it herself
Image credits: Timur Weber / Pexels (not the actual photo)
So, she asked her husband not to buy it, but he has continued doing so anyway, saying he “rediscovered his love for it”
Image credits: Timur Weber / Pexels (not the actual photo)
He also disregards her allergy and disgust for it by leaving used plates and cutlery to wash
Image credits: Kevin Malik / Pexels (not the actual photo)
One day she made her disgust clear once again and he exploded, claiming she was being disrespectful to his food and imagining her allergy
Image credits: Rosegarden47
After this, the woman started doubting her relationship and the fact that there have been a few instances when he was physically intimidating to her adds even more fuel to the fire
A few months ago, the OP was exposing her daughter to peanut butter for the first time. Gently introducing a baby of around 4-6 months to common allergens, like peanut butter, is important to determine whether they can tolerate it.
During this process, the original poster found out that she herself was allergic to it, as her hands broke out in an itchy rash, which later turned into hives and swollen and itchy lips.
To find out more about allergies and their affect on people, Bored Panda interviewed GP with a Specialist Role in Allergy Dr. Helen Eve Evans-Howells, who, to start, gave us a list of common symptoms of peanut allergy. The ones mentioned by the OP were there, along with others like abdominal pain, vomiting, sneezing, and runny eyes.
To calm these symptoms down, the author took an antihistamine, which is one of the most common ways to fight allergies. Interestingly, typically they aren’t prescribed to prevent reactions to peanuts, but the original poster must have had them, as they are sold over the counter.
To be better safe than sorry, she asked her husband to not buy this product in the future. Dr. Helen Eve Evans-Howells explained if any family member is allergic to such a product, removing it from the home is a sensible thing to do.
She said “If reactions have occurred in the past to trace amounts, I would recommend a peanut-free home. Given that these allergies can be life-threatening, I think it is important to take into consideration the wishes of the person affected.”
Sadly, her husband completely disregarded her wishes and kept buying it. At first, he used to wash his used plates and cutlery. Our interviewee said that carefully washing surfaces that peanut butter touched is important in a house with an allergic person, but still, there should be some caution. Apparently, peanut protein is very sticky and transferable.
Image credits: Saher Suthriwala / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
She explained: “Even though people may feel that they are being cautious, only eating the peanuts in one place, we know that the peanut protein is likely to be in the dust everywhere. This does not necessarily mean it would trigger an allergic reaction for all with a peanut allergy, but some choose to keep it out of the household to minimize risk.”
Later, he stopped doing even that. So, one day the woman brought up how disgusted by the smell and butter itself she was and he flipped out. He said she was insulting his food and basically imagining her symptoms, as they never were that serious.
Dr. Helen Eve Evans-Howells said that even if a person hasn’t experienced anaphylaxis (a severe allergic reaction) before, it doesn’t mean they might not in the future.
She also indicated that there are some factors, like feeling unwell while ingesting, exercising before or after, having asthma, menstruation, or being fatigued, that can bring out anaphylaxis that was never experienced prior. So, by constantly exposing his wife to her allergen, the husband is basically risking his wife’s life.
Soon after this fight, things in their marriage started going downhill. For instance, he kept denying their conversation about her allergy even happened, while she insisted that it did. In later updates, the OP revealed that ever since she got pregnant, from time to time, he has been physically intimidating, which makes her feelings towards him even more tainted.
At least netizens agreed about this whole thing. They kept mentioning that being continually exposed to peanut butter might worsen the woman’s symptoms, so she should throw out the allergen. Also, seeing how badly the man mistreats his wife, it’s pretty clear that at least some of them thought that she should throw out her husband too. Well, we can’t say that it doesn’t seem like a reasonable alternative here, can we?
People online were flabbergasted by the husband’s carelessness and advised the woman to find a way to get rid of peanut butter from her home before her reaction gets worse
He hasn't "changed", he's finally showing his true self, and he's ABUSIVE. If he was willing to lay hands in her while she was pregnant with his child, he will do so much more in the future. She needs to run, now!
So much this. He thinks he has you trapped now that you have a child and feels safe to expose his true nature
Load More Replies...Pregnancy is often the most dangerous time for a woman. Now that she had the kid, she's trapped in her husband's mind. She sounds like a battered woman saying "but when it's good, it's so good!" The bad times should be the measuring stick. He's going to hurt her if not kill her, either from a reaction from the peanut butter or an escalation in violence. She needs to get herself and her daughter away from him. She should also call the police. His behavior is abusive.
Unfortunately the cops can't do anything unless they see physical signs of abuse. A screaming match knock on the door every one okay. End of story...
Load More Replies...I'm shocked that none of the original quoted comments advised OP that she needs to take her daughter and get away ASAP. To a friend or family member who is safe, to an (allergy-accommodating) shelter, whatever. Her husband's actions are putting her life in danger; this is abuse. It also would have been a good idea for her to document anything possible without contact with peanuts - saving any written communication o the subject, photographing any peanut products brought into the home. And as was suggested, she of course needs to get allergy testing (it's common to have overlap between peanut and other allergies, so she may have additional risks she's not yet aware of) and to get an epipen/any other recommended treatments. But she and her child need to be in a safe place first.
Yeah there really are two parts to this post. The first part's about her reaction to peanut butter (which truly does sound like she's got a sensitivity or true allergy to it which could possibly be life-threatening) And the second part just as life threatening is the fact that her husband is physically and emotionally abusive, that he's constantly putting her down and gas-lighting her into believing that he said one thing when he really said another, that he's threatening to kick her out of the house and take the child away from her... Although serious, the peanut allergy is the least of your concern here.
Load More Replies...He's a man-child who is now jealous of the time she needs to devote to their daughter, so he's being petty and vindictive. And also abusive.
OP is in and has been in an abusive relationship from the start, she's only starting to acknowledge his true colors now. He put hands on her while she was pregnant and she still stayed and thought everything was fine. She's been Stockholmed.
Those comments weren't blunt enough. RUN. Take the kid and go, to a friend, your mom, whoever will take you in. He doesn't care if he kills you. Your reactions thus far ARE serious reactions and they will get worse. How the hell can he say swollen lips are all in your mind, does he not have eyes to see?? Get an official diagnosis but also GET OUT. You cannot trust this man, he has been abusive and controlling in the past and he's getting worse.
This behaviour is not grounded and rooted in love. He is showing no love what so ever. Instead, it is all about control, being spiteful, and hurtful. This is not how people in a healthy relationship are with each other. When people love and care, they work together to make each others lives better, and easier.
Both of my sisters were in abusive relationships while they were pregnant. One pregnancy resulted in a miscarriage from the abuse. With the other sister, because of the trauma her mother experienced during the pregnancy and early years, my niece would freak out whenever two adults started yelling at each other. I hope OP gets out of Dodge and into a battered women's shelter. Even though she may not bear the physical marks of someone being abused, the emotional ones are there. Her daughter will definitely be next in line if something isn't done about it. Also, an allergy is nothing to fool around with. The symptoms OP described are severe and life-threatening. Bringing peanut butter into the home is the husband's way of establishing dominance over OP. By repeatedly subjecting her to the allergen, he believes that he can have her at his mercy. She needs to get out, get a lawyer, and get a restraining order against this fiend, before he kills her and starts in on their daughter.
Grab your child and run! As fast as you can! Hide money, get a lawyer!!!!
Yes, tingling lips and a little difficulty breathing could be the precursor to an anaphylactic reaction if you're constantly exposed to it. Husband sounds like a nasty, narcissistic and potentially dangerous character
At first I thought she might be TAH because she wanted to instantly ban it from the house, and I would have been on his side, if he was very fond of it and responsible, but then he went and put it basically everywhere on purpose, so, he is def the AH and she should divorce him
Good god, I'm so sick of hearing of these stories that I'm having a fantasy. He says it's all in my head. I grab the peanut butter and eat a 1/4 cup. I end up with such a severe reaction, I'm in the ICU and barely manage to stay alive. But he still thinks it's in my head, and then he files for divorce and uses it as a way to show I'm mentally unfit, and then he gets full custody of the child, who he then emotionally abuses all the child's life. The End.
He hasn't "changed", he's finally showing his true self, and he's ABUSIVE. If he was willing to lay hands in her while she was pregnant with his child, he will do so much more in the future. She needs to run, now!
So much this. He thinks he has you trapped now that you have a child and feels safe to expose his true nature
Load More Replies...Pregnancy is often the most dangerous time for a woman. Now that she had the kid, she's trapped in her husband's mind. She sounds like a battered woman saying "but when it's good, it's so good!" The bad times should be the measuring stick. He's going to hurt her if not kill her, either from a reaction from the peanut butter or an escalation in violence. She needs to get herself and her daughter away from him. She should also call the police. His behavior is abusive.
Unfortunately the cops can't do anything unless they see physical signs of abuse. A screaming match knock on the door every one okay. End of story...
Load More Replies...I'm shocked that none of the original quoted comments advised OP that she needs to take her daughter and get away ASAP. To a friend or family member who is safe, to an (allergy-accommodating) shelter, whatever. Her husband's actions are putting her life in danger; this is abuse. It also would have been a good idea for her to document anything possible without contact with peanuts - saving any written communication o the subject, photographing any peanut products brought into the home. And as was suggested, she of course needs to get allergy testing (it's common to have overlap between peanut and other allergies, so she may have additional risks she's not yet aware of) and to get an epipen/any other recommended treatments. But she and her child need to be in a safe place first.
Yeah there really are two parts to this post. The first part's about her reaction to peanut butter (which truly does sound like she's got a sensitivity or true allergy to it which could possibly be life-threatening) And the second part just as life threatening is the fact that her husband is physically and emotionally abusive, that he's constantly putting her down and gas-lighting her into believing that he said one thing when he really said another, that he's threatening to kick her out of the house and take the child away from her... Although serious, the peanut allergy is the least of your concern here.
Load More Replies...He's a man-child who is now jealous of the time she needs to devote to their daughter, so he's being petty and vindictive. And also abusive.
OP is in and has been in an abusive relationship from the start, she's only starting to acknowledge his true colors now. He put hands on her while she was pregnant and she still stayed and thought everything was fine. She's been Stockholmed.
Those comments weren't blunt enough. RUN. Take the kid and go, to a friend, your mom, whoever will take you in. He doesn't care if he kills you. Your reactions thus far ARE serious reactions and they will get worse. How the hell can he say swollen lips are all in your mind, does he not have eyes to see?? Get an official diagnosis but also GET OUT. You cannot trust this man, he has been abusive and controlling in the past and he's getting worse.
This behaviour is not grounded and rooted in love. He is showing no love what so ever. Instead, it is all about control, being spiteful, and hurtful. This is not how people in a healthy relationship are with each other. When people love and care, they work together to make each others lives better, and easier.
Both of my sisters were in abusive relationships while they were pregnant. One pregnancy resulted in a miscarriage from the abuse. With the other sister, because of the trauma her mother experienced during the pregnancy and early years, my niece would freak out whenever two adults started yelling at each other. I hope OP gets out of Dodge and into a battered women's shelter. Even though she may not bear the physical marks of someone being abused, the emotional ones are there. Her daughter will definitely be next in line if something isn't done about it. Also, an allergy is nothing to fool around with. The symptoms OP described are severe and life-threatening. Bringing peanut butter into the home is the husband's way of establishing dominance over OP. By repeatedly subjecting her to the allergen, he believes that he can have her at his mercy. She needs to get out, get a lawyer, and get a restraining order against this fiend, before he kills her and starts in on their daughter.
Grab your child and run! As fast as you can! Hide money, get a lawyer!!!!
Yes, tingling lips and a little difficulty breathing could be the precursor to an anaphylactic reaction if you're constantly exposed to it. Husband sounds like a nasty, narcissistic and potentially dangerous character
At first I thought she might be TAH because she wanted to instantly ban it from the house, and I would have been on his side, if he was very fond of it and responsible, but then he went and put it basically everywhere on purpose, so, he is def the AH and she should divorce him
Good god, I'm so sick of hearing of these stories that I'm having a fantasy. He says it's all in my head. I grab the peanut butter and eat a 1/4 cup. I end up with such a severe reaction, I'm in the ICU and barely manage to stay alive. But he still thinks it's in my head, and then he files for divorce and uses it as a way to show I'm mentally unfit, and then he gets full custody of the child, who he then emotionally abuses all the child's life. The End.
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