Hey Pandas, WIBTA For Calling Off Our Big Wedding Plans Because I’m Worried They Could Get Ruined?
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Need an outside opinion.
My fiance and I got engaged last year, wedding is next year.
Back in January, my future husband and I went on a cruise to the Caribbean so I could meet one of his sisters who lives in Canada
Image credits: Peter Hansen (not the actual photo)
We were going for 12 days total, 4 in Florida and 8 on the cruise, we met up with them on day 2.
On day 5 of the cruise, they decided they didn’t want me around the kids because I had a cough, which could be COVID, and they didn’t want the kids to catch it
Image credits: Annie Spratt (not the actual photo)
I had been coughing for more than 2 months at this point, been to the doctor’s, nothing wrong with me, just a tickly cough I couldn’t shift. Mind you, I was coughing when I met them and every day we were together.
When George came back to the cabin that night, I asked what happened and he said he didn’t know, but he had been told that he was not allowed to sleep with me or be near me cause he could get what I had (my tickly cough) and they didn’t want him around them with my germs. Through all this time, they had been in the pool, around the ship, and the buffet of Symphony of the Seas (6000 passengers, not counting crew).
So I was left on my own for the remainder of the trip because George was not going to cause trouble with his sister and he “was here to be with the kids.”
When we came back home, my future husband George told me that his sister Kathleen had told him not to marry me
Image credits: Marcus Lewis (not the actual photo)
Let’s be honest, this upset me, especially since I still didn’t know the reason they were so against me. George either didn’t know or didn’t want to tell me.
Fast forward to last month, and this same sister tells him that they’re not sure if they’re going to come to the wedding, cause they don’t want to cause problems (I imagine she meant with me). Mind you, the wedding is still a year away.
This pissed me off big time, that she’s still trying to split us, and my first thought was to tell George to tell her not to bother coming. But then that’ll probably make me the baddie and she could blame me for them not coming.
As you can imagine, this stresses me out: if she comes, I’ll be paranoid she’ll do something, “object” in the middle of the ceremony, or even try and convince George again not to marry me.
If she doesn’t come, George will be upset that his favorite sister is not there to celebrate with us. So the day will be ruined whether she comes or not.
So after some thought, I decided that probably the best solution would be to scrap the wedding, well, the guest part, anyway, and just make it George and myself. No wedding, no problem, right?
George is not happy with me cause he wants the whole shebang, I’ve never been the wedding kind, so a simple registry will suffice for me. He’s not told his mother or other sister what’s happened yet…
Any thoughts? Not sure how to proceed…
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Share on FacebookWait wait wait, isn't the bigger problem here being your fiance? I mean, he's the one who decided not to defend or stick with you when his sisters kept you away on the cruise. Isn't he also the same person who hasn't done anything to ease the tension/beef between you and his favorite sister? And why did he tell you that Katherine the sister said don't marry you? The man hasn't acted like you are his partner. Why are you overlooking the biggest red flag here and instead focus on the sister? Do you honestly believe if you have your way with the wedding and if the sisters stay away you marriage will be all rainbow and sunshine?
Most definitely the problem with with the fiance. Why on earth did he abandon his partner just because his sister said so. The partner had been checked out by their doctor, and it's easy enough to get a Covid test. The future sister in law isolate the partner, and the fiance went along with it. This is not acceptable behaviour by someone you are planning on marrying and spending the rest of your life with.
Load More Replies...I think since he’s so enmeshed with his sister, y she shouldn’t marry him. His sister will always come before the wife, any wife.
I think you need to sit down with your future husband and ask him what the future is going to hold for you, if you will always be second fiddle to his sister. He needs to tell his sister to pack the attitude away and he needs to come clean if he knows why his sister doesn't like you, or he needs to find out because no-one needs to be dealing with this highschool level BS their entire lives. ETA- the wedding is the least of your issues right now, you need to deal with the fiance problem before you tackle to wedding problem.
Wait wait wait, isn't the bigger problem here being your fiance? I mean, he's the one who decided not to defend or stick with you when his sisters kept you away on the cruise. Isn't he also the same person who hasn't done anything to ease the tension/beef between you and his favorite sister? And why did he tell you that Katherine the sister said don't marry you? The man hasn't acted like you are his partner. Why are you overlooking the biggest red flag here and instead focus on the sister? Do you honestly believe if you have your way with the wedding and if the sisters stay away you marriage will be all rainbow and sunshine?
Most definitely the problem with with the fiance. Why on earth did he abandon his partner just because his sister said so. The partner had been checked out by their doctor, and it's easy enough to get a Covid test. The future sister in law isolate the partner, and the fiance went along with it. This is not acceptable behaviour by someone you are planning on marrying and spending the rest of your life with.
Load More Replies...I think since he’s so enmeshed with his sister, y she shouldn’t marry him. His sister will always come before the wife, any wife.
I think you need to sit down with your future husband and ask him what the future is going to hold for you, if you will always be second fiddle to his sister. He needs to tell his sister to pack the attitude away and he needs to come clean if he knows why his sister doesn't like you, or he needs to find out because no-one needs to be dealing with this highschool level BS their entire lives. ETA- the wedding is the least of your issues right now, you need to deal with the fiance problem before you tackle to wedding problem.
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