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Hey Pandas, WIBTA If I Involved My Head Guard’s Parents To Address His Condescending Behavior At Work?
Moderator’s note:
If you find yourself disagreeing with this person’s actions, we encourage you not to downvote the post. Instead, kindly express your opinions in the comments. We recommend maintaining politeness and articulating your thoughts with well-constructed arguments.
I worked as a lifeguard at location B for several months. A husband and wife swam there often and saw me do my job. I didn’t think anything of it until I was moved to location C, where their son was my Head Guard.
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From the get the Head Guard was condescending in his tone with me, using harsh words, like “I’m ostracizing people while I teach my class”
Image credits: Malaya Sadler (not the actual photo)
Or micromanaging how the cleaning supplies are organized. He even told me to do a job three days ago or yesterday, and I didn’t get it done to his liking.
We only work half shifts. I’m well aware of my duties, and when he asks me to do a task, he will interrupt me doing it to talk to me like I’m incompetent. And he has a parental tone, “What did I tell you? And this needs to be fixed.”
I’m writing this because one of his parents is even going to our joint training, and it’s taken all of my self-control not to ask his parent to remind him that I know how to do my job
Image credits: Caleb Stokes (not the actual photo)
Here lies my question. Because I have received family advice, I’m much older than him and am well aware of my duties and how to complete them. How do I control my reaction? And what should it be? The position above him is rarely at our site.
Moderator’s note:
Please note that the images included in this article are for illustrative purposes only and do not represent the actual individuals or items discussed in the story.
If you have a comparable experience or story you’d like to tell, we welcome your submissions. Click here to share your story with Bored Panda.
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What do you think ?
Apatheist Account2 4 months ago
Nothing to do with his parents. Talk to his boss (or HR if there is one), it's a work issue. Talking to someone's parents about their work is treating them as children, which is what it sounds like he's doing to you.
HTakeover 4 months ago
Yep. Reverse the roles, would you want your employee to call your parents about the way you manage them?
Load More Replies... FreeTheUnicorn 4 months ago
Bringing anyone into a work situation who is not in the chain of command is unprofessional. Handle it through official channels if a frank discussion doesn't work. Any other approach makes you the AH.
Kika González (Post author) 4 months ago
Thank you, I did not say anything to his parents or bring anyone else in, ie: patrons of the pool
Load More Replies...
Ace 4 months ago
Is this a child or an adult? I assume the latter, so what on earth has this got do do with their parents?
Kika González (Post author) 4 months ago (edited)
It is an adult half my age. The reason I considered his parents is because they have been at another pool I work at and seen me do my job. And I'm several years on his experience and he talks to me like I'm ignorant
Load More Replies...
K. LNU 4 months ago
With that attitude (from the "Head" Guard), where do you think he learned it from? Talking to his parents will probably amount to nothing. If you can, get the other guards to voice their concerns to your boss/hiring manager/human resources; if more than one person is voicing the same complaints, it is harder to ignore.
Kika González (Post author) 4 months ago
Thank you. I wish more people would speak up
Load More Replies...
PixxelDust 4 months ago
NTA for doing something, but YWBTA if you take it to his parents. Talk to a supervisor/manager/boss/other higher-up.
Kika González (Post author) 4 months ago
Thank you for your input. I am not saying anything to his parents. I'm dialing back my own communication and looking for another job quietly
Load More Replies...
Joey Jo Jo Shabadoo 4 months ago
Context is missing since I dont know your culture or your gender, ot if you are going to need him as a reference down the road. Since this is a part-time job, I would respond to him cheerfully with, "Thanks so much! Thats so helpful!" and keep doing what you were doing.
Kika González (Post author) 4 months ago
The problem is this should have been a full time job. He like many of the higher rank staff are in early twenties. I'm 40 and have at least 10 years experience on most of them
Load More Replies...
MagicJacket 4 months ago
Is Head Guard what they call a Lifeguard outside of America? Or is that the term for the boss of lifeguards?
Wendy Miller 4 months ago
I would talk to him. It sounds like this is his first taste of authority and he feels like he has to lord it over you. As an adult, you should be able to have a discussion with him about how he treats you. Ask to speak to him privately when you both have a minute. Remind him that you have done this job X amount of time (if longer than him). Then tell him that in his role as head guard, it is his responsibility to lead by example. Also tell him that as long as the work gets done, there is no one right way to reach the desired end. Depending on how he receives this, maybe mention that in today's work world being so authoritative and demanding will have people below him resenting him. If he's receptive and it's good talk, then success! But if he stays a jerk, time to escalate to the big boss.
Shaggy 4 months ago
Ran pools in the 80's/90's (55M). I got my WSI early, at like 15, so I was usually the manager. This dude is an asshat, but bringing his parents in is the wrong move. Just be nice. HR etc is the way to go. Who is his boss?? Frankly, I worked for park districts and school districts. Just talk to the politico or district person that runs the park district or school board. I will GUARANTEE if something like this gets to them, it will be fixed very quickly and his parents will probably be embarrassed as they probably know them if they are that involved. Pools are close knit communities, as you know, so play that card before going to his parents, if he is a full fledged adult. 17 YO, just beat his a*s... LOL
Vinnie 4 months ago
The basic story: The OP works at a swimming pool. She has a boss who is much younger than her. He also has a lot less experience than her. He is rude to her. She was thinking of talking to his parents. It is a bad idea. She should talk to people at work. I hope this helped.
Load More Replies... Apatheist Account2 4 months ago
Nothing to do with his parents. Talk to his boss (or HR if there is one), it's a work issue. Talking to someone's parents about their work is treating them as children, which is what it sounds like he's doing to you.
HTakeover 4 months ago
Yep. Reverse the roles, would you want your employee to call your parents about the way you manage them?
Load More Replies... FreeTheUnicorn 4 months ago
Bringing anyone into a work situation who is not in the chain of command is unprofessional. Handle it through official channels if a frank discussion doesn't work. Any other approach makes you the AH.
Kika González (Post author) 4 months ago
Thank you, I did not say anything to his parents or bring anyone else in, ie: patrons of the pool
Load More Replies... Ace 4 months ago
Is this a child or an adult? I assume the latter, so what on earth has this got do do with their parents?
Kika González (Post author) 4 months ago (edited)
It is an adult half my age. The reason I considered his parents is because they have been at another pool I work at and seen me do my job. And I'm several years on his experience and he talks to me like I'm ignorant
Load More Replies... K. LNU 4 months ago
With that attitude (from the "Head" Guard), where do you think he learned it from? Talking to his parents will probably amount to nothing. If you can, get the other guards to voice their concerns to your boss/hiring manager/human resources; if more than one person is voicing the same complaints, it is harder to ignore.
Kika González (Post author) 4 months ago
Thank you. I wish more people would speak up
Load More Replies... PixxelDust 4 months ago
NTA for doing something, but YWBTA if you take it to his parents. Talk to a supervisor/manager/boss/other higher-up.
Kika González (Post author) 4 months ago
Thank you for your input. I am not saying anything to his parents. I'm dialing back my own communication and looking for another job quietly
Load More Replies... Joey Jo Jo Shabadoo 4 months ago
Context is missing since I dont know your culture or your gender, ot if you are going to need him as a reference down the road. Since this is a part-time job, I would respond to him cheerfully with, "Thanks so much! Thats so helpful!" and keep doing what you were doing.
Kika González (Post author) 4 months ago
The problem is this should have been a full time job. He like many of the higher rank staff are in early twenties. I'm 40 and have at least 10 years experience on most of them
Load More Replies... MagicJacket 4 months ago
Is Head Guard what they call a Lifeguard outside of America? Or is that the term for the boss of lifeguards?
Wendy Miller 4 months ago
I would talk to him. It sounds like this is his first taste of authority and he feels like he has to lord it over you. As an adult, you should be able to have a discussion with him about how he treats you. Ask to speak to him privately when you both have a minute. Remind him that you have done this job X amount of time (if longer than him). Then tell him that in his role as head guard, it is his responsibility to lead by example. Also tell him that as long as the work gets done, there is no one right way to reach the desired end. Depending on how he receives this, maybe mention that in today's work world being so authoritative and demanding will have people below him resenting him. If he's receptive and it's good talk, then success! But if he stays a jerk, time to escalate to the big boss.
Shaggy 4 months ago
Ran pools in the 80's/90's (55M). I got my WSI early, at like 15, so I was usually the manager. This dude is an asshat, but bringing his parents in is the wrong move. Just be nice. HR etc is the way to go. Who is his boss?? Frankly, I worked for park districts and school districts. Just talk to the politico or district person that runs the park district or school board. I will GUARANTEE if something like this gets to them, it will be fixed very quickly and his parents will probably be embarrassed as they probably know them if they are that involved. Pools are close knit communities, as you know, so play that card before going to his parents, if he is a full fledged adult. 17 YO, just beat his a*s... LOL
Vinnie 4 months ago
The basic story: The OP works at a swimming pool. She has a boss who is much younger than her. He also has a lot less experience than her. He is rude to her. She was thinking of talking to his parents. It is a bad idea. She should talk to people at work. I hope this helped.
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