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We live in a colorful world, no doubt about it. With so much information bombarding us every day, it’s easy to lose track of what’s really going on around us.
And by really, I mean that we often fail to pause and reflect on the dynamics of our modern society where people celebrate an inherently positive side of the world. But what if beneath its wholesome surface lies an underlying toxicity that feeds our delusions even further?
It sounds like one of those difficult thoughts that haunt us before falling asleep. But thanks to one Redditor who recently asked a seemingly basic question “What are 'wholesome' things that are actually toxic?” we now have some truly eye-opening answers. From family vlogging to animal rescue videos that are often totally fake, these are some examples to remind us to not take everything at face value.
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
Not sure if it’s on here already, but I get super uncomfortable when a video of a classroom of kids giving the kid who “can’t afford new shoes” a brand new pair as a surprise. The entire culture of filming while doing kind things for people is so exploitive and gross and sad.
RELATED:
#2
The expectation to keep your family members in your life no matter what they do. Some people have families that treat them like absolute [trash], and being related to them isn't a good reason to keep them around. It's ok to cut off toxic family members.
#3
Body positivity like Dove's "Real Beauty" campaign. The idea that all women are beautiful sounds nice on the surface, but it's a gross message to send because beauty is still at the core of it. I don't want to be told that my body is beautiful too, I want to be told that I don't have to be beautiful, that my value is not tied to how much other people enjoy looking at me.
HooowlAtTheMoon 3 years ago
Exactly, I don't care about whether I look 'beautiful' or not, I want it to be okay to not care if i look 'beautiful' or not
#5
“Look at this adorable 4-year-old using a walker! So inspirational!”
“Awww, this guy asked a deaf girl to prom!”
“Watch this group of guys playing tackle football with a guy with Down syndrome!!”
“Check out this amazing blind kid walking down a street! Next level, yo!”
#6
Proposing in front of a crowd. Puts a lot of pressure on the person being proposed to.
#7
Corporations who spend $50 million on ads to tell you about the amazing $1 million they spent on a charity program.
#8
Toxic positivity. Like when someone's having a really hard time and you tell them to stay positive or try to look at the bright side. [Screw] you Jenny, my grandma died.
#9
Instagram "influencers" promoting their "amazing" healthy lifestyles but in reality mostly staged/photoshopped and exacerbating mental illness, body issues, anxiety in young people.
#10
Touching women’s bellies when they’re pregnant. You don’t go around patting a penis to congratulate it on its successful ejaculation. Damn.
#11
The pure existence of most modern dog breeds. Pugs, for example. We all think they’re super cute, but the truth is - they are extremely deformed and constantly suffering as a result of a century of inbreeding. A lot of people don’t know this, and it’s really sad. I’m not saying these dogs should be put down right now, just saying it would’ve been a better idea not to inbreed dogs for centuries.
#12
Asking your child "Who's your boy/girlfriend?" any time they interact with someone of the opposite sex.
Eva the Egg 3 years ago
Yes! I hate it when people assume there's something going on when you're just hanging out with your friends
#13
Badgering people to have kids. No, I’m not going to magically change my mind when I meet the right girl.
#14
Dads trying to be weirdly aggressive/threatening to their daughter's bfs.
#16
Punking people with practical jokes that are fake traumatic incidents. There is absolutely nothing funny about witnessing a fake death, mortal injury or abuse and then discovering it was all an elaborate joke. It’s traumatizing.
#17
As a former homeless person, I can't put into words how annoying the people who film themselves handing out food for a viral video with some emotional pop song overlaid on it are. It's 100% "look at me, look how cool and HELPFUL I am" while honestly not giving a real damn about the homeless. It'd be one thing if you're putting your fame and money back into funding a shelter, or true change and volunteering and charity efforts but not just dropping $20 on some McDonalds meals to drive around LA filming strangers sleeping on the street for a bit.
Sue Hazlewood 3 years ago
I have given food and money to people on the street but it never occurred to me to photograph it. So damn tacky and insulting to the person you are giving to.
#18
Using your child for likes on social media, that's creepy I never understood why would any parent do that
#19
Abstinence and purity promise culture. Really [screws] people up for a long time when you teach them that:
A.) sex is dirty, bad and evil
B.) their worth as a person is tied to that purity
#20
Asking babies to hug and kiss people
Natalie Slazer 3 years ago
I teach my son's that it is their body and their choice! I don't even make them hug or kiss family members, like my mother, she hates it but I truly believe that it should be their choice. I also have taught my oldest, and will be teaching my youngest (he's only 11 months) to ask permission to give someone a hug or a kiss.
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Ola Polowczyk 3 years ago
It's not only toxic. It's dangerous. The kids that are forced to kiss/hug people, are more vulnerable to pedophile attacks. Because they are being taught that their bodies don't belong to them.
Yvonne Blau 3 years ago
And that they have no right to say No to grown-ups
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Anna Banana 3 years ago
It's becoming more and more common to ask other people's kids how they would like to be greeted: kiss, hug, handshake, high five... I think this is great because it gives children agency and teaches them about consent - even when talking about people who they know really well.
Maggie Dinzler Shaw 3 years ago
I have seen elementary school teachers who had icons for high five, huig, nothing etc outside their classrooms and each child chooses how they will be greeted. Love it.
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𝔓𝔯𝔬𝔣𝔢𝔰𝔰𝔬𝔯 𝔇𝔢𝔯𝔭 3 years ago
This will cause problems when they grow up. They will actually FEEL the need to do it. Not out of love, out of being kind, because of this!!
Mimi777 3 years ago
I never make my daughter hug or kiss someone. I tell her she can give them a high five instead if she wants but she doesn’t have to do anything. I’ve had a couple people get personally offended because I told her it’s ok if she didn’t want to.
Snake of Eden 3 years ago
Making any one hug or kiss people. I always feel so uncomfortable when family memebers I don't know try and hug me. I don't even like my favorite family members to touch me, I don't need you to Sharen.
TheAnimalLady 3 years ago
Having just gotten an earful from (a named at birth) Karen's husband, I have to say this... People, please stop tying a specific name to undesirable traits. It's really hurting nice people who happen to have that vilified name. Causing actual problems with their mental health. And the fact that I need to specify she's actually named Karen...🤬🙄😤
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TheAnimalLady 3 years ago
Been there, done that...to me too. Love Bullying, subconscious social conditioning, control freaks with "good reasons"... Don't feel guilty, it's not just you and it's not right.
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Canadian in Cornwall 3 years ago
Agree. I work in a shop and sometimes say hi to little kids. The parents may say 'say hello', and I always say, no worries if they don't want to !!!
Pamela Blue 3 years ago
Oh I made sure my children were all polite enough to respond to someone. If they were with me, and someone just said hello to them and they didn't say hello back, I wouldn't be pleased. Now touching people they don't want to touch? No problem there. Please don't force your kids to hug that disgusting old uncle who pinches them and leers into their faces.
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Ginny Weasley 3 years ago
i kiss them (at least hug) them goodnight but thats just me. ya dont have to if ya still love em
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Nothing Fancy 3 years ago
I tell my kids, especially my two older daughters, they don't even have to hug and kiss their father or I if they don't want to.
Nihilism Is the Only Way 3 years ago
that's excellent! especially since they're girls. never make them think they have to do something physical to show someone they care . this'll make a big impact on them when they're older! u guys sound like good parents.
Load More Replies... Nihilism Is the Only Way 3 years ago
I'm not sure where i heard it but they say even telling your kid to hug his weird uncle or pop pop that smells funny or whatever is really bad. it sets a precedent and a mind set that he/she HAS to be polite. groomers actually hope that is how a kid is raised. they know the child is raised to "listen to the grown up and do as told" when it comes to uncomfortable affection. please don't ever make your kid hug, kiss, or even hold hands with someone he doesn't want to.
Jace 3 years ago
I hated this as a young child. It's one of the few things I remember from pre-sentience (ha ha, but seriously). I remember being kissed and hugged and whatnot by the members of my dad's side of the extended family. It was uncomfortable and awkward. I was an introvert. The most uncomfortable was the scary 90+year-old great grandmother who had almost no teeth, didn't speak my language at all, and looked scarily decrepit (I had no experience with advanced age, so she looked scary). Children are the most disenfranchised of groups. They're treated like pets, possessions, and left no agency. Pushing them to kiss and hug people they don't seek it from is just one of many examples of their lack of bodily autonomy.
Biana Weatherford 3 years ago
I ask my nephew if I can have a hug. I recall not getting the choice...I hope he knows he can say no and I still love him.
Michelle Mcgrane 3 years ago
I'm the same with all the kids in my family. They should always have a choice without feeling bad about it.
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Kate DiLiberto 2 years ago
Can we add blowing raspberries on a baby's tummy to this. Yes, they laugh, but it's a reflex. I remember hating it when I was little, but nobody would respect that. They just did it even more when I said no.
Frances Sones 3 years ago
You never know if you're asking them to hug/kiss their abuser. If you teach them they can say no, you are setting them up with the ability to say no to abuse. Why should any kid be made to feel uncomfortable to make an adult happy?
Silviu Leibovici 3 years ago
that I agree, I see my niece once every like year or more, and she is feeling uneasy to be closer to me (i'm not an easy person either, so whenever we get together, i try to talk more to her and let her decide when we part how she wants to react , is fine by me either way :)
Piper McLean 3 years ago
Asking ANYONE to hug and kiss people, when I was a kid my parents friends who I never met will be like “come over here so I can give you a hug” I HATE physical contact if I’m not comfortable with them
TheAnimalLady 3 years ago
You did NOT even read the comments, DID YOU?!? All the pedophile uncle stories alone make your comment hurtfully thoughtless and has me shaking in anger.
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El muerto 3 years ago
actually is not bad behaviour...simply put, here is the parents making an statement on who is save to get close to..yeah sometimes it goes over the top...but by delinning who is safe and who is not, give children boundaries, that they else would have figure themselves...you know around 100s of people in the vicinity all the time...scary uncle is ok (when you small any way), but nice complete stranger, not so much...is one of the most important human traits, to learn what is safe from people around
Racheal Birdsong-Bradley 3 years ago
Having babies do so is cute. But realizing that people need to respect each other's personal space is more important.
#22
School fundraisers.
If the government can't give schools enough funds, then everything is wrong.
#23
Repeatedly professing your love for someone after they tell you that they aren't interested.
The idea that you can "make" someone love you back if you just keep trying is rooted in toxicity, but romanticized in countless films and TV shows.
#24
Teachers giving up their Sick Days for some other teacher can have days off for Cancer Treatments.
#25
"If you can't handle me at my worst, you don't deserve me at my best." In theory, I'm supposed to be a statement of unconditional love, but in reality it's just inviting toxic behavior with no way out
Pittsburgh rare 3 years ago
Every time I see someone quoting that, l run in the opposite direction
#26
The idea that feeling anger makes you a bad person, or that you are obligated to forgive absolutely everyone who has hurt you.
King Joffrey 3 years ago
Feeling anger doesn't make you a bad person, displaying anger to people who haven't caused it does.
#27
Any viral story about some kid selling [stuff] to pay for a relatives healthcare.
#28
Dolphins at SeaWorld and other family centers. They are generally all in a state of extreme mental health stress and have to be given drugs to keep them calm. In addition, the profits from capturing the best looking dolphins and selling them to these places fuel an annual dolphin hunt in Japan where the vast majority are sold for animal meat. It is a brutal practice where an extremely intelligent and sentient animal group is killed without painkillers in a slaughter.
#29
Receiving recognition for perfect attendance. My ass that you never got sick.
#30
Supporting someone no matter what choices they make. You can love someone to the ends of the earth, that doesn’t mean they will 100% be right all of the time, no matter how much you love or admire them.
#31
When people who are super spiritual and love love love all the time judge and ridicule you for not being in a good mood or for needing space. “You’re ruining the vibe” “this isn’t a hostile environment”- gaslighting is wrong and these people do it ALL THE TIME! I call them “the love police”.
#32
Any kind of 'tough love'. "Other people have it worse" or "Kids should get bullied to toughen up" (Yes someone actually said this to me).
Raine Soo 3 years ago
My mom was very big on tough love. She would try to nag me into submission. All it did was build up my resentment toward her. Yes, there was backtalk from my part, which infuriated her even more. I laugh about it now, but trust me, I was a frustrated teenager and young adult.
#34
Teachers working overtime/sacrificing for their students/fundraising for anything/etc. Most news articles that hit national headlines about teachers are toxic af.
"student raises money for his former teacher found living in a car"
"principal works 2nd job to help homeless students have clean clothes and food"
#35
Spending so much time on social media to show everyone else how wholesome your life is.
#36
Spouses being their partners EVERYTHING. it's okay to have other friends, actually it's even healthy to have a robust social life in which you get different things out of your relationships with different people
#37
Baby onesies that say stuff. Some are innocent...a lot are not. I'm a first time mom to a 6mo son. My child is not here to make grandma feel like a "mother without rules". And keep that "chick magnet" [nonsense] outta my face.
angie but who cares 3 years ago
some people are mad at having gay charecters in shows but will put baby girls in shat like this Screenshot...b3f9ed.png 
#38
"We're all just one big family!"
If anyone tells you this in a workplace setting, run. They're only like a family in the sense of the most toxic parts of one that exploit you.
#39
Youtube kids channels. The ones aimed at older audiences are literally better for a child than the kids ones.
#40
News stories like "CEO sees employee dumpster diving for food and buys them a headlamp"
or
"Kid works manual labor to pay off school lunch debt for entire class"
What do you think ?
Leo Domitrix 3 years ago
Can we go one day on BP without the "let's all sneer at someone else" posts, and just look at cute animals more?
Lauren Caswell 3 years ago
Yes i need cute and happy and less angst pls BP. Even just for a day. Fine me funnily timed photos and naughty pets and cutie patoot animals etc
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kjorn 3 years ago
hiring woman BECAUSE you have a quota of woman, racial people, people with disability. it suck. i need people with skill... not a skin color, or genre. SKILLS!!!
Lorelai Purvis 3 years ago
did you mean to say gender instead of genre? because if so, keep it as genre. it's more fun.
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Thomas Biorogue 3 years ago
I think people don't know what "Toxic" means. It's almost the way people misuse "Literally."
c.VIII 3 years ago
agreed. it's so overused the word itself aggravates me at this point.
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Joe Mama 3 years ago
This is just my opinion, but I kind of think this post is toxic. The last thing we need is a list of things that make us angry/ more pointing fingers. I just want to see something positive, like cute little animals 😅
JT Thompson 3 years ago
I disagree with about half of these. I believe, if anything, it's the intention behind the action that makes it toxic. Example: growing up in New Orleans, some schools needed funding so fundraising helped kids with essentials. Also I feel this quote: "If you can't handle me at my worst, you don't deserve me at my best" is taken out of context. It's more having to deal with someone who is having a rough time such as perhaps losing a job and people leaving because of that.
Penny Kemper 3 years ago
Most of them aren't toxic. But yes why Publicize your charity? The write doesn't like it and the rest of us don't care because we have bigger things to worry about.
Jordan Smith 3 years ago
Downvote me to hell, I dont care, but kids that do amazing things that everyone should know how to do. Let me explain. There was an incident recently where a kid performed CPR on his sister to save her life. Which that's great. But that isnt the issue. The issue is the parents now knowing what do to. Everyone should know how to do CPR. But they didnt, which is the issue. And they also didnt see that the daughter was choking, which is worse. So the last thing was for the kid to save his sister's life. If the parents were just a little bit smarter, then there would be no story there. It's simply just a kid knowing what to do when the parents suck.
Lisa Edmunds 3 years ago
Posting a happy birthday message on social media but I have to be in all of the pictures with the birthday girl. Why can't they just be pics of the person with the birthday?
Hedonism Bot 3 years ago (edited)
Some Youtube personality made a video about "uplifting" stories that are actually symptoms of major social ills (not unlike some if the entries on this list): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DXpKvlFQxEs
Sarah Grape 3 years ago (edited)
title: toxic things that pretend to be wholesome ~~ content: WhY aMeRiCa SuCkS
Matt Hiemstra 3 years ago
This should be entitled. You don't feel you are offended enough...here is a list of things that will make you a hit at any party.
TheAnimalLady 3 years ago (edited)
**The following was a rebuttal to Eslamala's highly downvoted comment which was moved to the lowest spot in this thread (so read hers B4U bash me): The kind of person who gives importance to anyone else's opinion... is normal. It's how we're conditioned and controlled from birth by our Love Bullies...and Capitalism. So belittling others for it is rude and hurtful.
Israel Martinez 3 years ago
For me, it's "I would die for my parent(s)" ... I doubt any parent would want to see their child sacrifice their future, especially after any sacrifices they may have already made for that child ... I don't know any parent that would put their child in that position ...
ivan bolitekurac 3 years ago
I have seen a few things that resembles hollywood actors and singers/artist.And yet,people worship them or find them cool.
Bean flavored Fujioshi 3 years ago
yeah i would...also cause you just made this post about your problem instead of the actual post(no offence)
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Leo Domitrix 3 years ago
Can we go one day on BP without the "let's all sneer at someone else" posts, and just look at cute animals more?
Lauren Caswell 3 years ago
Yes i need cute and happy and less angst pls BP. Even just for a day. Fine me funnily timed photos and naughty pets and cutie patoot animals etc
Load More Replies... kjorn 3 years ago
hiring woman BECAUSE you have a quota of woman, racial people, people with disability. it suck. i need people with skill... not a skin color, or genre. SKILLS!!!
Lorelai Purvis 3 years ago
did you mean to say gender instead of genre? because if so, keep it as genre. it's more fun.
Load More Replies... Thomas Biorogue 3 years ago
I think people don't know what "Toxic" means. It's almost the way people misuse "Literally."
c.VIII 3 years ago
agreed. it's so overused the word itself aggravates me at this point.
Load More Replies... Joe Mama 3 years ago
This is just my opinion, but I kind of think this post is toxic. The last thing we need is a list of things that make us angry/ more pointing fingers. I just want to see something positive, like cute little animals 😅
JT Thompson 3 years ago
I disagree with about half of these. I believe, if anything, it's the intention behind the action that makes it toxic. Example: growing up in New Orleans, some schools needed funding so fundraising helped kids with essentials. Also I feel this quote: "If you can't handle me at my worst, you don't deserve me at my best" is taken out of context. It's more having to deal with someone who is having a rough time such as perhaps losing a job and people leaving because of that.
Penny Kemper 3 years ago
Most of them aren't toxic. But yes why Publicize your charity? The write doesn't like it and the rest of us don't care because we have bigger things to worry about.
Jordan Smith 3 years ago
Downvote me to hell, I dont care, but kids that do amazing things that everyone should know how to do. Let me explain. There was an incident recently where a kid performed CPR on his sister to save her life. Which that's great. But that isnt the issue. The issue is the parents now knowing what do to. Everyone should know how to do CPR. But they didnt, which is the issue. And they also didnt see that the daughter was choking, which is worse. So the last thing was for the kid to save his sister's life. If the parents were just a little bit smarter, then there would be no story there. It's simply just a kid knowing what to do when the parents suck.
Lisa Edmunds 3 years ago
Posting a happy birthday message on social media but I have to be in all of the pictures with the birthday girl. Why can't they just be pics of the person with the birthday?
Hedonism Bot 3 years ago (edited)
Some Youtube personality made a video about "uplifting" stories that are actually symptoms of major social ills (not unlike some if the entries on this list): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DXpKvlFQxEs
Sarah Grape 3 years ago (edited)
title: toxic things that pretend to be wholesome ~~ content: WhY aMeRiCa SuCkS
Matt Hiemstra 3 years ago
This should be entitled. You don't feel you are offended enough...here is a list of things that will make you a hit at any party.
TheAnimalLady 3 years ago (edited)
**The following was a rebuttal to Eslamala's highly downvoted comment which was moved to the lowest spot in this thread (so read hers B4U bash me): The kind of person who gives importance to anyone else's opinion... is normal. It's how we're conditioned and controlled from birth by our Love Bullies...and Capitalism. So belittling others for it is rude and hurtful.
Israel Martinez 3 years ago
For me, it's "I would die for my parent(s)" ... I doubt any parent would want to see their child sacrifice their future, especially after any sacrifices they may have already made for that child ... I don't know any parent that would put their child in that position ...
ivan bolitekurac 3 years ago
I have seen a few things that resembles hollywood actors and singers/artist.And yet,people worship them or find them cool.
Bean flavored Fujioshi 3 years ago
yeah i would...also cause you just made this post about your problem instead of the actual post(no offence)
Load More Replies... Related on Bored Panda
