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We live in a colorful world, no doubt about it. With so much information bombarding us every day, it’s easy to lose track of what’s really going on around us.
And by really, I mean that we often fail to pause and reflect on the dynamics of our modern society where people celebrate an inherently positive side of the world. But what if beneath its wholesome surface lies an underlying toxicity that feeds our delusions even further?
It sounds like one of those difficult thoughts that haunt us before falling asleep. But thanks to one Redditor who recently asked a seemingly basic question “What are 'wholesome' things that are actually toxic?” we now have some truly eye-opening answers. From family vlogging to animal rescue videos that are often totally fake, these are some examples to remind us to not take everything at face value.
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#1
Not sure if it’s on here already, but I get super uncomfortable when a video of a classroom of kids giving the kid who “can’t afford new shoes” a brand new pair as a surprise. The entire culture of filming while doing kind things for people is so exploitive and gross and sad.
RELATED:
#2
The expectation to keep your family members in your life no matter what they do. Some people have families that treat them like absolute [trash], and being related to them isn't a good reason to keep them around. It's ok to cut off toxic family members.
Raine Soo 3 years ago
The term "blood is thicker than water" is bullshit. My best friend's family dragged her down and made her miserable, so she now no longer speaks to them, and is a lot less anxious and depressed.
J. F. 3 years ago (edited)
It also means the opposite "The blood of the brotherhood is thicker than the water of the womb" if I remember that correctly
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Enlee Jones 3 years ago
Absolutely. I no longer speak to my sociopath older sister or my right-wing racist uncle. Just because we share DNA doesn’t mean I’m obligated to keep you in my life.
Heather Makemson 3 years ago
I'm so glad this is being seen as a valuable step towards mental health instead of "abandoning your family." Letting your family tear you apart and keep you down isn't your duty or obligation- it's just allowing and repeating toxic patterns that benefit nobody.
Madzdad the bard 3 years ago
Amen, amen and, of course, amen to that! My life is so much better since the mutual cutting of ties with my family. I feel regret once in awhile, but then a mutual friend will tell me of the toxic mess they play out on social media and I feel really good I left it. BTW I am 53, not 23, lol.
KAROLYN CLARK 3 years ago
Omg yes my family is always being mean insulting me basically ignoreing my mental health telling me my dreams will never come true (which is to go to colllge and own a SMALL cornerside business) and people still tell my "BuT tHeRe YoUr FaMiLy ItS WhAt ThEy ArE SuPpOsEd To Do" yes karen your dad is supposed to call youa bitch or a f****t at the litlest of things and your mom should tell you that its your fault the teachers made you cry in the middle of class
Nihilism Is the Only Way 3 years ago
my dad called me ugly all the time. told me i was a worthless sack of sh*t every chance he got. beat us. locked us outside in our jammies and no shoes in the middle of winter. my mom stood by and didn't do anything. when i told her a family member was being incredibly inappropriate (showing me his genitals) she actually had the nerve to tell me to ignore it! f*ck my family all of them. they're f*cked in the head and i know what people say about forgiveness but i never will. hope you're doing well.
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Two Silly Pups 3 years ago
Yep, haven't spoken to them for years, feeling much better off without them!
Carol Emory 3 years ago
Luckily, I don't have this problem. I told the toxic members of my family to F*** off years ago. I'm so much happier now....
Freya the Wanderer 3 years ago
You've heard the saying "Blood is thicker than water." In its original form it means the opposite of what people think it does. The full saw goes "The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb" - i.e., the bonds of friendship are stronger than those of DNA. Friends you have to seek out, create and nurture; family you get gratis.
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Melissa Vellis 3 years ago
Absolutely agree. Best thing I ever did for my emotional and physiological well being was to sever ties with my abusive siblings.
Wolfstar 3 years ago
I relate to this so much. When I was 15, I got disowned and kicked out of the house when my family found out I was aroace (aromantic-asexual). They're disgusting, rich assholes who think POC, disabled people, and those who are LGBTQ+ are worthless. My mother was the worst out of all of them. I haven't talked to them in nearly 5 years. They may be my relatives, but they'll never be my family.
deanna woods 3 years ago
My dad's sister did so many toxic things to my family and eventually we had enough and cut off contact. That lasted about a year or so. We took her back in because uncle's crazy wife burned my aunt's house down with her in it and she had no place to go, so we made the tough decision to take her into our home. Eventually, we were able to work out all the problems and things got better.
Raine Soo 3 years ago (edited)
It seems that dysfunction runs deep in your family. I'm glad that you were able to reach some amicable agreement.
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Laina Therrien 3 years ago
exactly i have a sister that has caused many mental health issues but my mom says "familys all you got" ok same with depression
Nihilism Is the Only Way 3 years ago
easier said than done. nobody experiences your suffering but you. i will never forgive my father or mother for what they've done. i hope they rot in hell if there is one.
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Pamela Blue 3 years ago
Family doesn't always mean blood. Family means those who are there to support you, cheer you on, and just happily hang out with - those who love you for yourself and nothing else.
Nihilism Is the Only Way 3 years ago
as someone who's bio family literally did none of those things (they actually did the opposite) i definitely agree. love is true family.
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C.S. E. 3 years ago
I still hear from family about 'blood' being so important. I figured out long ago what they haven't - blood does not automatically make a person worthy of your time, energy, emotion, or affection. Blood relationships are like any other relationship (friendship, love, etc), they require attention and care, an effort is necessary.
bxttery_bxby 3 years ago
YES!!! THANK YOU SOMEONE UNDERSTANDS! I have an abusive father (whom I don't live with anymore) but my mom keeps trying to get me to talk to him and forgive him or whatever and Im just like, no because I have earned my anger and I get to keep it.
22Rincut 3 years ago
The happiest moment in my life happened when I was away from my family. I just realized it lately. Call me ungrateful and everything, I just don't care, I will support financially but that's it. At this point of my life, I care more about my mental health and my happiness, so I'm waiting for the next one. .. Cause we better of separated. #Usher
Lynne Harbison 3 years ago
Definitely agree with this, as it has happened to me. Goes for friends too.
Mateo Buysse 3 years ago
Pretty much done. Nobody can force me anymore to be kind against my stealing unreliable brother
Maggie Dinzler Shaw 3 years ago
I couldn't deal with my brother as an adult. He was a horrible narcissist . I once told him that he had better learn how to treat wonmmen or he was going to be in a lot of trouble someday. Years passed and I got a message on facebook (yes really) telling me that he had murdered his 4th wife and then killed himself. Extreme? Well you never know.
Mark Renton 3 years ago
Let me see if I get this right. One gets love, care and attention when he is young. He grows up and - lo and behold! - it is now his family members who need him. All that "I need you" is now considered to be toxic, after all it is no fun and it takes too much of one's precious own time. So isn't it a great idea to cut all family ties, declare a certain member (usually one that needs help and attention) as "toxic" and focus on much more pleasant things to do? Or "I remember now how some 25 years ago I asked you to buy me /fill in the blanks here/, you refused which proved beyond doubt what a miserable person you are and how you have always hated me, that is why I now cut off all ties...etc."? Long live egocentricity and selfishness!
Nihilism Is the Only Way 3 years ago
amen. i cut my terrible and toxic family of years ago! such a relief. don't let people guilt you into thinking "they're your family! you never give up on family!" usually said by people who have nice parents and pretty loving home. some of us never experienced that luxury so please don't judge.
Richard Portman 3 years ago
It is not so easy. I still wonder what i did wrong. I wonder what happened. She is against all my beliefs. She "turned trump ". It has been difficult to drop her because she used to be my sister.
~*Zodiac lover~* 3 years ago
Bruh ooo I have a story for y’all we don’t talk to my moms side or my dads side we have a small family not really but the rest steal accuse or put us in jail for no reason :>
Shadow4523 3 years ago
you cant just remove people from your life like that. me: (っ ͡° ل͜ ͡°)っ✂
PineappleQueen 3 years ago
Yeah, my parents always say they’ll never make me or my siblings act like we love a family member if they’re mean, or have only ever seen us at birth.
Eslamala 3 years ago (edited)
What kind of messed up adult does this?? (For the MORONS who can't read): what kind of adult puts up with idiots just because they're related? Have a little self respect, at least!
Nihilism Is the Only Way 3 years ago
i won't judge. i don't speak to any of my family anymore for too many reasons to list but long story short we should have been taken by CPS. some people are probably so gaslighted and brainwashed they may not feel they CAN break free. this is why this quote is so incredibly important. we need to spread awareness and let people know if you are not being loved, if almost every interaction drains you or makes you sad, if they physically hurt you, are sexually inappropriate, you don't trust them alone with your children, if you feel like they don't allow you to be yourself or grow.... they may be toxic and it's time to cut them from your life.
Load More Replies... tmw 3 years ago
i feel that cutting people out entirely is not healthy. I feel keeping them at a distance is ok, maintaining a civil relationship is healthier than cutting off family members entirely.
Nihilism Is the Only Way 3 years ago
you obviously have never had someone systematically abuse you for your entire childhood. don't go spouting "advice" for what you know nothing about. this kind of thinking is dangerous. you saying this is dangerous. people have very unhealthy families and they need to know it's ok to cut them from their lives! COMPLETELY! not "at a distance" where they can still do plenty of harm.
Load More Replies... #3
Body positivity like Dove's "Real Beauty" campaign. The idea that all women are beautiful sounds nice on the surface, but it's a gross message to send because beauty is still at the core of it. I don't want to be told that my body is beautiful too, I want to be told that I don't have to be beautiful, that my value is not tied to how much other people enjoy looking at me.
HooowlAtTheMoon 3 years ago
Exactly, I don't care about whether I look 'beautiful' or not, I want it to be okay to not care if i look 'beautiful' or not
#5
“Look at this adorable 4-year-old using a walker! So inspirational!”
“Awww, this guy asked a deaf girl to prom!”
“Watch this group of guys playing tackle football with a guy with Down syndrome!!”
“Check out this amazing blind kid walking down a street! Next level, yo!”
#6
Proposing in front of a crowd. Puts a lot of pressure on the person being proposed to.
#7
Corporations who spend $50 million on ads to tell you about the amazing $1 million they spent on a charity program.
#8
Toxic positivity. Like when someone's having a really hard time and you tell them to stay positive or try to look at the bright side. [Screw] you Jenny, my grandma died.
#9
Instagram "influencers" promoting their "amazing" healthy lifestyles but in reality mostly staged/photoshopped and exacerbating mental illness, body issues, anxiety in young people.
#10
Touching women’s bellies when they’re pregnant. You don’t go around patting a penis to congratulate it on its successful ejaculation. Damn.
#11
The pure existence of most modern dog breeds. Pugs, for example. We all think they’re super cute, but the truth is - they are extremely deformed and constantly suffering as a result of a century of inbreeding. A lot of people don’t know this, and it’s really sad. I’m not saying these dogs should be put down right now, just saying it would’ve been a better idea not to inbreed dogs for centuries.
#12
Asking your child "Who's your boy/girlfriend?" any time they interact with someone of the opposite sex.
Eva the Egg 3 years ago
Yes! I hate it when people assume there's something going on when you're just hanging out with your friends
#13
Badgering people to have kids. No, I’m not going to magically change my mind when I meet the right girl.
#14
Dads trying to be weirdly aggressive/threatening to their daughter's bfs.
#16
Punking people with practical jokes that are fake traumatic incidents. There is absolutely nothing funny about witnessing a fake death, mortal injury or abuse and then discovering it was all an elaborate joke. It’s traumatizing.
#17
As a former homeless person, I can't put into words how annoying the people who film themselves handing out food for a viral video with some emotional pop song overlaid on it are. It's 100% "look at me, look how cool and HELPFUL I am" while honestly not giving a real damn about the homeless. It'd be one thing if you're putting your fame and money back into funding a shelter, or true change and volunteering and charity efforts but not just dropping $20 on some McDonalds meals to drive around LA filming strangers sleeping on the street for a bit.
Sue Hazlewood 3 years ago
I have given food and money to people on the street but it never occurred to me to photograph it. So damn tacky and insulting to the person you are giving to.
#18
Using your child for likes on social media, that's creepy I never understood why would any parent do that
#19
Abstinence and purity promise culture. Really [screws] people up for a long time when you teach them that:
A.) sex is dirty, bad and evil
B.) their worth as a person is tied to that purity
#22
School fundraisers.
If the government can't give schools enough funds, then everything is wrong.
#23
Repeatedly professing your love for someone after they tell you that they aren't interested.
The idea that you can "make" someone love you back if you just keep trying is rooted in toxicity, but romanticized in countless films and TV shows.
#24
Teachers giving up their Sick Days for some other teacher can have days off for Cancer Treatments.
#25
"If you can't handle me at my worst, you don't deserve me at my best." In theory, I'm supposed to be a statement of unconditional love, but in reality it's just inviting toxic behavior with no way out
Pittsburgh rare 3 years ago
Every time I see someone quoting that, l run in the opposite direction
#26
The idea that feeling anger makes you a bad person, or that you are obligated to forgive absolutely everyone who has hurt you.
King Joffrey 3 years ago
Feeling anger doesn't make you a bad person, displaying anger to people who haven't caused it does.
#27
Any viral story about some kid selling [stuff] to pay for a relatives healthcare.
#28
Dolphins at SeaWorld and other family centers. They are generally all in a state of extreme mental health stress and have to be given drugs to keep them calm. In addition, the profits from capturing the best looking dolphins and selling them to these places fuel an annual dolphin hunt in Japan where the vast majority are sold for animal meat. It is a brutal practice where an extremely intelligent and sentient animal group is killed without painkillers in a slaughter.
#29
Receiving recognition for perfect attendance. My ass that you never got sick.
#30
Supporting someone no matter what choices they make. You can love someone to the ends of the earth, that doesn’t mean they will 100% be right all of the time, no matter how much you love or admire them.
#31
When people who are super spiritual and love love love all the time judge and ridicule you for not being in a good mood or for needing space. “You’re ruining the vibe” “this isn’t a hostile environment”- gaslighting is wrong and these people do it ALL THE TIME! I call them “the love police”.
#32
Any kind of 'tough love'. "Other people have it worse" or "Kids should get bullied to toughen up" (Yes someone actually said this to me).
Raine Soo 3 years ago
My mom was very big on tough love. She would try to nag me into submission. All it did was build up my resentment toward her. Yes, there was backtalk from my part, which infuriated her even more. I laugh about it now, but trust me, I was a frustrated teenager and young adult.
#34
Teachers working overtime/sacrificing for their students/fundraising for anything/etc. Most news articles that hit national headlines about teachers are toxic af.
"student raises money for his former teacher found living in a car"
"principal works 2nd job to help homeless students have clean clothes and food"
#35
Spending so much time on social media to show everyone else how wholesome your life is.
#36
Spouses being their partners EVERYTHING. it's okay to have other friends, actually it's even healthy to have a robust social life in which you get different things out of your relationships with different people
#37
Baby onesies that say stuff. Some are innocent...a lot are not. I'm a first time mom to a 6mo son. My child is not here to make grandma feel like a "mother without rules". And keep that "chick magnet" [nonsense] outta my face.
angie but who cares 3 years ago
some people are mad at having gay charecters in shows but will put baby girls in shat like this Screenshot...b3f9ed.png 
#38
"We're all just one big family!"
If anyone tells you this in a workplace setting, run. They're only like a family in the sense of the most toxic parts of one that exploit you.
#39
Youtube kids channels. The ones aimed at older audiences are literally better for a child than the kids ones.
#40
News stories like "CEO sees employee dumpster diving for food and buys them a headlamp"
or
"Kid works manual labor to pay off school lunch debt for entire class"
What do you think ?
Leo Domitrix 3 years ago
Can we go one day on BP without the "let's all sneer at someone else" posts, and just look at cute animals more?
Lauren Caswell 3 years ago
Yes i need cute and happy and less angst pls BP. Even just for a day. Fine me funnily timed photos and naughty pets and cutie patoot animals etc
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kjorn 3 years ago
hiring woman BECAUSE you have a quota of woman, racial people, people with disability. it suck. i need people with skill... not a skin color, or genre. SKILLS!!!
Lorelai Purvis 3 years ago
did you mean to say gender instead of genre? because if so, keep it as genre. it's more fun.
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Thomas Biorogue 3 years ago
I think people don't know what "Toxic" means. It's almost the way people misuse "Literally."
c.VIII 3 years ago
agreed. it's so overused the word itself aggravates me at this point.
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Joe Mama 3 years ago
This is just my opinion, but I kind of think this post is toxic. The last thing we need is a list of things that make us angry/ more pointing fingers. I just want to see something positive, like cute little animals 😅
JT Thompson 3 years ago
I disagree with about half of these. I believe, if anything, it's the intention behind the action that makes it toxic. Example: growing up in New Orleans, some schools needed funding so fundraising helped kids with essentials. Also I feel this quote: "If you can't handle me at my worst, you don't deserve me at my best" is taken out of context. It's more having to deal with someone who is having a rough time such as perhaps losing a job and people leaving because of that.
Penny Kemper 3 years ago
Most of them aren't toxic. But yes why Publicize your charity? The write doesn't like it and the rest of us don't care because we have bigger things to worry about.
Jordan Smith 3 years ago
Downvote me to hell, I dont care, but kids that do amazing things that everyone should know how to do. Let me explain. There was an incident recently where a kid performed CPR on his sister to save her life. Which that's great. But that isnt the issue. The issue is the parents now knowing what do to. Everyone should know how to do CPR. But they didnt, which is the issue. And they also didnt see that the daughter was choking, which is worse. So the last thing was for the kid to save his sister's life. If the parents were just a little bit smarter, then there would be no story there. It's simply just a kid knowing what to do when the parents suck.
Lisa Edmunds 3 years ago
Posting a happy birthday message on social media but I have to be in all of the pictures with the birthday girl. Why can't they just be pics of the person with the birthday?
Hedonism Bot 3 years ago (edited)
Some Youtube personality made a video about "uplifting" stories that are actually symptoms of major social ills (not unlike some if the entries on this list): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DXpKvlFQxEs
Sarah Grape 3 years ago (edited)
title: toxic things that pretend to be wholesome ~~ content: WhY aMeRiCa SuCkS
Matt Hiemstra 3 years ago
This should be entitled. You don't feel you are offended enough...here is a list of things that will make you a hit at any party.
TheAnimalLady 3 years ago (edited)
**The following was a rebuttal to Eslamala's highly downvoted comment which was moved to the lowest spot in this thread (so read hers B4U bash me): The kind of person who gives importance to anyone else's opinion... is normal. It's how we're conditioned and controlled from birth by our Love Bullies...and Capitalism. So belittling others for it is rude and hurtful.
Israel Martinez 3 years ago
For me, it's "I would die for my parent(s)" ... I doubt any parent would want to see their child sacrifice their future, especially after any sacrifices they may have already made for that child ... I don't know any parent that would put their child in that position ...
ivan bolitekurac 3 years ago
I have seen a few things that resembles hollywood actors and singers/artist.And yet,people worship them or find them cool.
Bean flavored Fujioshi 3 years ago
yeah i would...also cause you just made this post about your problem instead of the actual post(no offence)
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Leo Domitrix 3 years ago
Can we go one day on BP without the "let's all sneer at someone else" posts, and just look at cute animals more?
Lauren Caswell 3 years ago
Yes i need cute and happy and less angst pls BP. Even just for a day. Fine me funnily timed photos and naughty pets and cutie patoot animals etc
Load More Replies... kjorn 3 years ago
hiring woman BECAUSE you have a quota of woman, racial people, people with disability. it suck. i need people with skill... not a skin color, or genre. SKILLS!!!
Lorelai Purvis 3 years ago
did you mean to say gender instead of genre? because if so, keep it as genre. it's more fun.
Load More Replies... Thomas Biorogue 3 years ago
I think people don't know what "Toxic" means. It's almost the way people misuse "Literally."
c.VIII 3 years ago
agreed. it's so overused the word itself aggravates me at this point.
Load More Replies... Joe Mama 3 years ago
This is just my opinion, but I kind of think this post is toxic. The last thing we need is a list of things that make us angry/ more pointing fingers. I just want to see something positive, like cute little animals 😅
JT Thompson 3 years ago
I disagree with about half of these. I believe, if anything, it's the intention behind the action that makes it toxic. Example: growing up in New Orleans, some schools needed funding so fundraising helped kids with essentials. Also I feel this quote: "If you can't handle me at my worst, you don't deserve me at my best" is taken out of context. It's more having to deal with someone who is having a rough time such as perhaps losing a job and people leaving because of that.
Penny Kemper 3 years ago
Most of them aren't toxic. But yes why Publicize your charity? The write doesn't like it and the rest of us don't care because we have bigger things to worry about.
Jordan Smith 3 years ago
Downvote me to hell, I dont care, but kids that do amazing things that everyone should know how to do. Let me explain. There was an incident recently where a kid performed CPR on his sister to save her life. Which that's great. But that isnt the issue. The issue is the parents now knowing what do to. Everyone should know how to do CPR. But they didnt, which is the issue. And they also didnt see that the daughter was choking, which is worse. So the last thing was for the kid to save his sister's life. If the parents were just a little bit smarter, then there would be no story there. It's simply just a kid knowing what to do when the parents suck.
Lisa Edmunds 3 years ago
Posting a happy birthday message on social media but I have to be in all of the pictures with the birthday girl. Why can't they just be pics of the person with the birthday?
Hedonism Bot 3 years ago (edited)
Some Youtube personality made a video about "uplifting" stories that are actually symptoms of major social ills (not unlike some if the entries on this list): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DXpKvlFQxEs
Sarah Grape 3 years ago (edited)
title: toxic things that pretend to be wholesome ~~ content: WhY aMeRiCa SuCkS
Matt Hiemstra 3 years ago
This should be entitled. You don't feel you are offended enough...here is a list of things that will make you a hit at any party.
TheAnimalLady 3 years ago (edited)
**The following was a rebuttal to Eslamala's highly downvoted comment which was moved to the lowest spot in this thread (so read hers B4U bash me): The kind of person who gives importance to anyone else's opinion... is normal. It's how we're conditioned and controlled from birth by our Love Bullies...and Capitalism. So belittling others for it is rude and hurtful.
Israel Martinez 3 years ago
For me, it's "I would die for my parent(s)" ... I doubt any parent would want to see their child sacrifice their future, especially after any sacrifices they may have already made for that child ... I don't know any parent that would put their child in that position ...
ivan bolitekurac 3 years ago
I have seen a few things that resembles hollywood actors and singers/artist.And yet,people worship them or find them cool.
Bean flavored Fujioshi 3 years ago
yeah i would...also cause you just made this post about your problem instead of the actual post(no offence)
Load More Replies... Related on Bored Panda
