We reached out to Stephen G. Post, Ph.D., a medical school professor, opinion leader, and author of Why Good Things Happen to Good People: How to Live a Longer, Healthier, Happier Life by the Simple Act of Giving, to learn more about the relationship between showing kindness to others and our happiness. Post is a leader in research on the benefits of giving and has promoted the idea of "give and live better" across the world. He was kind enough to have a little chat with us and explain how helping others can fill our lives with joy.

According to the professor, we humans have "a well-known psychological tendency for actions to affect emotion." For example, when we smile (even if we are not especially happy), the action itself will elevate our mood. "There is an emotional 'shift effect' that does not take long, really about one hour in adolescents, perhaps 2 hours in adults," Post said. 

He also explained that helping "certainly diverts attention from the self and its problems, and engages the mesolimbic pathway, which releases one of the happiness chemicals dopamine. When engaged, this tends to shut down pathways associated with destructive emotions like rumination, hostility, and anxiety."

So when we help others, we help ourselves. The professor provided an example of how volunteering improves our well-being. "Survey of 5000 adult Americans indicated 41 percent volunteering about 100 hours per year or estimated couple of hours a week." The vast majority of the participants (70 to 90 percent) said they felt happier, more resilient, and physically healthier. Moreover, they were able to form better friendships and find more meaning in their everyday lives. 

"Studies indicate it is good to get together with fellow helpers to debrief and process the experience," he added. It appears that when we have fulfilling and enduring relationships with other people, we create small circles of trust that are good for reflection and can add a lot of value to our lives.

"Our friends are no longer just the folks we hang out with or part with. Helpers report deeper relationships formed in the community of fellow helpers," Post noted, saying that it’s always beneficial to celebrate giving with others.  

He continued: "As one who has managed several large volunteer programs, it is best to let helpers self-select the activity or venue they prefer." Sometimes people only want to do the things they are good at, and other times they want to do something entirely new. "Some report a flow state of deep immersion and satisfaction, even a loss of a sense of time," Post said.  

If you want to make your days a little brighter, there are a few small steps you can take. Dr. Stephen Post would like to remind you that it’s "not the amount of helping others that matters, but helping from the heart." He advises starting with small things done with kindness. "I like to Stop, Look and Listen mindfully to people around me so I can notice their needs better," he explained, adding that chronological rush can keep us from observing or hearing others’ needs. 

More often than not, however, life can be difficult. Unexpected situations, adversities in our personal lives, and small bumps on the road can significantly affect us and make it harder to support others. Post mentioned that there is a side of "human nature that humiliates and de-dignifies others. It is widely expressed."

Fortunately, the professor also had some great news—we are all wired for altruism and kindness. Even if it may seem that there are many unpleasant and insensitive people out there, "we must always remember that everyone has that wonderful generous kindly flip side of the coin. The negative is just a part of the story."