I’m a widow. Men have thrown themselves at me like they were going to be the one to f**k the loneliness away. Married. Dating. Single. Old. Young. Every walk of life. My boss too. When they asked, “Do you miss sex?” I always wanted to answer, “Nope. I saved my husband’s penis. It sits on my nightstand in a glass box with a label on it that reads, ‘Break glass in case of emergency.’”

anon , Pavel Danilyuk / pexels Report

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When people try to put words in my mouth like "what I think she meant was". No, no, no, I f*****g said what I said, all questions can be directed to me.

CatrionaShadowleaf , Tima Miroshnichenko / pexels Report

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Offering to help you and not backing off regardless of what you say. My cousin is very beautiful and often has guys offering help left and right in an effort to get in her good graces - except they keep offering when she says no. And keep offering. And keep pushing. It's basically a thinly veiled "let me get close to you", and they won't take no for an answer. It's extremely disrespectful

peachandpeony , SHVETS production / pexels Report

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Any time a man is speaking for or “defending” a woman and he gets extremely possessive. And you can tell that he’s more offended because she’s HIS, and it’s therefore disrespectful to HIM, than he is concerned about her feelings. “That’s MY f*****g WIFE,” “don’t talk about MY wife that way,” “keep my wife’s name out your f*****g mouth!” (This is basically the quintessential example of this behavior in pop culture tbh).

I think a lot of women are actually attracted to this on the surface, but it bugs me deeply now that I’ve realized how it really serves the man.

In contrast, I had a really s****y conversation with my dad recently where it got heated and he was questioning my professional decisions. My dad’s a contrarian and loves to lecture, so if I say “I’m doing this,” his first reaction is “no no, that’s wrong” — even if he would say it’s right under other circumstances. Drives me batty. My husband sat back and let me stand my ground until I was getting basically bulldozed. He finally “stepped in,” because my dad tends to respond better to men (eye roll)…. but what he said was “Hey. She’s doing an amazing job, and her performance isn’t up for debate. You may not agree, but it isn’t your career or your life. We’re both extremely happy with how she handled the situation.” It just… felt different. I didn’t need him to go all “That’s MY wife, back off” macho macho mode. I felt like a teammate, not a possession.

lizard_ladder , Timur Weber / pexels Report

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Having the mentality of "Men, its our job to protect women."

Why? Who are you "protecting" us from... oh.. other men? Maybe place your focus on calling out those men when you see toxic/dangerous behaviors and normalize holding your own kind accountable. Stop making it about "protecting women."

anon , Odonata Wellnesscenter / pexels Report

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Taking tools away from me while I'm using them because they are "thinking of my safety". Like, no, it's not safe to try and take my ax out of my hands mid-swing.

notanotherkrazychik , Andrea Piacquadio / pexels Report

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When a guy is explaining something, and I say “I know.” Could be directions, telling me about a show, a fact, current event, whatever. But if I said that I know already, them saying “Ok, but…” and continuing as if I had said nothing.

Cultural_Note_6722 , Polina Zimmerman / pexels Report

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Insomniac

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A patriarchal society teaches men that they are the arbiters of reality, that they know more than anyone else and have the inherent right to be believed and obeyed. It's deeply ingrained, and even some men who want to be egalitarian still have that unconscious bias.

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Bec

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6 months ago

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Very well said.

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Insomniac

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Thank you, Bec. I've put a great deal of energy into learning about these things so I can offer informed insight for those who haven't had the privilege of time for education that I have. It's one of the few useful things I can offer the world.

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Charles McChristy

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In all fairness, a lot of older men do the same thing to younger men. They act like we are idiots who would be lost without them. I'm like, "Sorry, but google maps gives better directions than your, 'Make a left at the 3rd oak tree that has only light Spanish moss on it...'

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StrangeOne

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6 months ago

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This is annoying when anyone does this. My mom does this all the time. It really is a power/control tactic.

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RabidChild

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Every time. Or they give you the "just step aside little lady, and let the man handle this" and totally screw up what you're working on because they don't bother to understand the goal.

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Belladonna.dreams

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I hate this. I tune them out and continue doing what I was doing.

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Tyke

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My brother does this, and if I push back I then get "don't talk to me in that tone" (there is no tone) but that in itself will set me off every time. My Mum and I refer to him "monologuing"

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Aminah Khan

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Yes this ⬆️ and also having men lecture me about my research when they know sod-all about it. Man, I have degrees and academic publications in the subject you know nothing about!

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similarly

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Lol, I work with someone who, when people are trying to give information or instructions, waves them away with "I know!" So we stop. Then, almost invariably, it turns out they DON'T know.

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Bud Burke

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Women also do this.

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Geoffrey Augusto

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MushroomHead22

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so you're a b***h. he's just excited to share something, and you're acting like a b***h,

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Nicola Thrope

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I'm so sorry the NPCs in your world do not serve you to your satisfaction, princess. We will certainly see to adding more mattresses to mask the intrusive pea.

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Men I don't know calling me "honey," "sweetheart," or any variation of that. Happens less now that I'm older, thank god.

emshlaf , cottonbro studio / pexels Report

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Men who do the bare minimum and act like they should be praised for it like it’s so annoying. like congrats for respecting my boundaries i guess??

anon , Elizabeth Zernetska / pexels Report

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When they try to mansplain me how to do my job.

Bebe_Bleau , Jonathan Borba / pexels Report

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Speaking on my behalf because I didn't answer right away. Like I don't care if you've known me my whole life you don't under any circumstances speak for me. I have a voice.

SlimJimLahey , RDNE Stock project / pexels Report

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Idk if this counts but my mom once interviewed a guy who was applying to work for her company and he said something like “I just want to say, I have no issue whatsoever working for a woman.”

twinbruise , Ron Lach / pexels Report

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I'm 5'2" and have never been over 127lbs. I like physically demanding jobs because it makes things go by faster and helps my depression. I constantly get asked if I need help with something heavy. Once had a dude watch me lift a 70lb box onto a conveyor belt and the clap when I got it up there. I gave him a dirty look and he stopped coming near me, so I count that as a win.

Fariesinabottle , Kampus Production / pexels Report

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Kissing my hand when first meeting them. Please no.

anon , Bethany Ferr / pexels Report

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When someone interrupts/stops telling a story to apologise for the profanities being used in front of me.

smellycatsmelllycat , August de Richelieu / pexels Report

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People, especially strangers telling me how young I look or how skinny I am as if it’s a compliment.

GubbleBumYum , Keira Burton / pexels Report

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When I’m outside a hotel loading my stuff up and they walk up and start grabbing my stuff to “help,” me. Nah, that’s how s**t gets stolen and guys then they you owe them something. Or what happened when I was 12 I was out for a walk and guy in a utility van offered me a ride because it was too cold I declined multiple times and he kept saying he was trying to be nice 🙄like why would I wanna get in your dirty as van with you being a stranger

susanna270 , Tranmautritam / pexels Report

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Random adult men who just happen to be in the same public space that believe they are “being nice” and have a right to get to know me. Being cordial is fine, but pushing hard for information is creepy. Especially when they start topics like, “are you still in school or are you working toward a degree?” Dude, I’m almost 30 but thanks for admitting you were attempting to target someone you thought was significantly younger and naive… it’s not a compliment when they don’t know me!!!

sleepysheepyborp , cottonbro studio / pexels Report

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If I'm holding a door already for everyone to get in and a man has to make it awkward by trying to be gentlemanly and hold the door for me.

You're causing a traffic jam then making it awkward holding the door also so now I gotta do a weird shimmy under your arm or go around you somehow to go inside. I hate it.

And for what? Because you think it's emasculating for a woman being nice holding a door?

You're not actually being nice to me either, you're taking away a choice I made to do an action and saying no, no, you can't do that woman.

TenaciousToffee , PNW Production / pexels Report

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Men who refuse to swear or use curse words around women because they think we're too fragile and easily offended to handle it.

See_You_Space_Coyote , Antoni Shkraba / pexels Report

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A friend of mine really likes to help/defend female friends that are more feminine/delicate looking when they're drunk or being picked at by others, but then picks at/bullies the ones who are more independent/direct. It's the selectiveness that makes me uncomfortable.

pretentiousant , MART PRODUCTION / pexels Report

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Guiding me with a hand between my shoulder blades.

karenaviva , cottonbro studio / pexels Report

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Not sure if this counts but those cringy "POV" TikToks where a guy acts out an imaginary scenario where he saves a girl from being harrased/assaulted. They just love imagining that a woman is being hurt just so that they can be a hero. And there's always epic movie type music playing in the background.

No_Natural2495 , Chris F / pexels Report

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Assuming I'm incapable of doing "mans" work.
Being my "friend" just to hop on the first chance to try to sleep with me. Then get salty when they get denied.

DiligentDocker , Anastasia Shuraeva / pexels Report

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Babying pregnant women because they "need protection", including from themselves.

When I was pregnant, one of my coworkers told on me to my husband (we work at the same company) because he thought the box I was carrying was too heavy for a pregnant woman to be carrying. 🙄

My husband laughed in his face because obviously I know my own limits.

fireflygalaxies , Amina Filkins / pexels Report

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Dude tried to take ny bag and my arm while walking across an icy parking lot. He kept messing up my balance and finally I was like 'I. GOT. IT.' But he also called me 'Sunshine' at work even though I'm a middle aged, college educated woman. He wasn't flirting, just being a gross misogynist.

Sassy-Pants_888 , Jose Espinal / pexels Report

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People insisting on carrying things for me. I worked in a warehouse for years and can’t count how many times I got told that the lifting should be left for the ‘men’.. I was usually the only employee on shift and if I left all the lifting for them men then I just wouldn’t be employed 🤷🏻‍♀️

Ill_Task_257 , Ketut Subiyanto / pexels Report

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Trying to tell you your relationship is bad because they're rather you were single. I've met several guys who compare people's partners to how they _imagine_ they themselves would behave in the relationship, and whaddya know, the other guys always come up wanting when compared to their personal mythology. And then it heads into "he's not good enough for you", and from there into "why do women only date a******s?"

Robot_Girlfriend , Roberto Hund / pexels Report

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Ugh I have a story for this one

I used to work in a brothel, I did quite well and didn’t mind the work at the time. One day a very rich (now ex) friend offered me money completely unprompted. I thought maybe he wanted sexual favours but he claimed that wasn’t it. I declined stating that I don’t take money I haven’t earned then few months later he offered me a job.

He claimed he’d pay me whatever I ask to be on call 24/7 as his personal assistant (he ran multiple businesses)
i was about to start working as an escort for an agency making upwards of $500 an hour, I would have barely had to work but he swooped in with this incredible offer of training me in his field and flying me around the world I thought I may as well take the opportunity.
Seeing as I was about to make so much money I set my price pretty high but then s**t got weird.

He offered me a personal assistant job, but instead of filing paperwork and organising meetings as he promised I spent each day cleaning his apartment and tending to his increasingly ridiculous requests (drive 14 hours to pick something up, organise mtg cards, fix an aircon etc)
THEN he decided he’d rather only pay me half of what he promised for the 2 months of work I did and that’s when I quit, there was no contract or anything so had to cut my losses.

I chalk this up to a white knight complex because on multiple occasions he tried to “help” me financially and tried to give me an out of the s3x industry neither of which I wanted or asked for and it actually ended up screwing me over I couldn’t afford rent or food for the month after and lost the chance to be with the agency.

Miss_111 , Anna Shvets / pexels Report

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Men I don’t know being gentlemanly (hmm) and letting me walk up the stairs in front of them when I’m wearing a short skirt or shorts. This usually happens with repairmen in my house.

Late_Significance519 , Daniel Duarte / pexels Report

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