The holiday season can get expensive very quickly. You’ve got gifts to buy, parties to host, family dinners to enjoy, places to travel to, and fun events to attend. That can leave a significant dent in your budget! Most of you can at least relax when you’re surrounded by your nearest and dearest because you know that they value your company far more than price tags.

However, things are different in some families. Redditor u/scorpioh2o went viral online and in the media after sharing how she’s considering skipping this year’s family Christmas gathering altogether. The reason? An exorbitantly priced white elephant gift exchange that she simply can’t afford. You’ll find the full story below. Bored Panda has reached out to the author to hear more about what happened, and we’ll update the article as soon as we hear back from her.

White elephant gift exchanges are a ton of fun! Arguably, the most enjoyable part is the actual exchange, not the presents themselves

Image credits: gpointstudio / Freepik (not the actual photo)

A woman went viral after sharing how she’s considering not attending her family’s Christmas get-together due to the huge gift price tags

Image credits: Image by Freepik (not the actual photo)

Image credits: scorpioh2o

Many American families are struggling to buy gifts this year. Meanwhile, well-off families are splurging more than ever

Image credits: Image by Freepik (not the actual photo)

Money is tight for a lot of American families this year. And a lot of it is due to inflation. The Washington Post reports that US households with incomes between $40k and $100k expect to spend a whopping 20% less on holiday gifts in 2024 than a year earlier.

However, data from a recent Gallup poll also shows that higher-income American families tend to spend a whopping $1,578 on gifts this year.

“Everyone likes giving gifts this time of year, but we’re seeing income inequality becoming more and more pronounced. That’s changing how and what people can buy,” said Monica Haynes, the director of business and economic research at the University of Minnesota at Duluth. “That’s changing how and what people can buy.

It’s never a good feeling when someone pressures you to conform… especially financially. In some social situations, you can feel left out if you don’t spend as much money as everyone else on gifts, don’t order the same food, don’t dress the same, etc.

Human beings are social animals, so it’s only natural for everyone to want to fit in. But there’s a balance to these things. Sometimes, conformity can lead to connection; other times, it can come at the cost of your authentic self or your wallet.

If you’re spending hundreds of dollars to keep up appearances, you may need to reevaluate your relationship with the people you’re trying to impress. Try to imagine a way to get what you want (being part of the community you care about) without sacrificing your welfare (i.e. your limited budget).

Ideally, you want to feel relaxed around the folks you love. You want to be honest and vulnerable, not someone who has to pretend just to fit in. In this particular case, it’s possible to attend the family Christmas gathering (fun!) while also skipping the super expensive white elephant gift exchange.

It would be ideal to participate in the family gathering without spending so much money to keep up appearances

Image credits: Image by Freepik (not the actual photo)

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You could tell everyone upfront that you’re sorry you won’t be able to participate, but it’s too expensive for you. You can be polite and friendly while also being to the point.

Furthermore, you could also participate with a gift that’s comfortably within your budget. Maybe you can’t afford the $250 price tag. There’s nothing embarrassing about such a huge amount of money. However, you might be able to swing $5 or $10. Again, be transparent, be honest.

The white elephant gift exchange is supposed to be fun, not a financial burden! Hopefully, this is all an opportunity for your relatives to remember this.

The idea behind the white elephant is very straightforward. Everyone brings a gift (usually wrapped in a weird way to hide what’s inside), they all place it in one spot, and everyone takes turns picking something from the ‘pool’ and unwrapping it or picking a gift that someone else has already picked out. The ‘stealing’ bit is a core part of this gift exchange.

There are tons of variations, but broadly speaking, there should be limits on how many times a gift can be stolen. For example, you might decide that someone keeps a particular gift the third time it’s stolen. The game ends when everyone’s gotten a present and refuses to swap it for something else.

We’ve participated in this sort of gift exchange a few times, and it’s frankly impressive how creative some people are with their wrapping skills. Hats off to them! Of course, not every present is going to be a winner. Some things are simply so lackluster that they incentivize you to steal someone else’s much more attractive gift. But, again, the point isn’t really the gift. It’s the process of swapping things and simply having fun. The ‘real’ gifts come later!

But what are your thoughts, dear Pandas? What advice would you give the woman whose family expects her to shell out a quarter of a thousand dollars on a white elephant gift? How would you handle the situation? Do you have a budget for family and friend get-togethers or do you all just show up and enjoy each others’ company? What’s the most fun you’ve had with white elephant gift exchanges? Let us know in the comments!

The author later added a bit more context in the comments

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Most internet users were very supportive of the woman. Here’s their take

Some readers shared some great pieces of advice with her

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As always, some less-than-popular opinions wormed their way out of the woodwork, too

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