Last New Year’s, I went to spend time with Bear. I hadn’t seen him in months, he was keeping me at arms length, I suspected he was using again and I was correct. Given it was New Years and my children were away I decided to join in on the fun. The following day, we met to have drinks with some of his new friends, none of whom I had met before. A woman arrived whom Bear introduced me to, but she barely acknowledged me and instead acted very self-centred, flirting with him openly in front of me. I kept my composure, but it was uncomfortable. Later, in the bathroom, she greeted me with a harsh “hi cunt” and added that she called everyone that, not caring if I was offended. She then proceeded to take my drugs and smoke them in front of me. Throughout the night, she continued to flirt with Bear, and he treated me like I wasn’t there, as though I was invisible. He was blackout drunk.
He decided to cook dinner for everyone, but in the end, I ended up doing all the work. He left me alone in the bus, in shock, and insulted what I had prepared, even though everyone, including the woman, ate it. Afterward, she left, but not without going out of her way to hug everyone including Bear in front of me, making sure I saw it through the window. It was incredibly disrespectful.
The brother of the host and I exchanged looks, but I didn’t say anything. The next day, Bear and I fought, and I left. He went to party with his friends, drama was started. We met up the following day, and things escalated further when we went to get some weed. Bear was still volatile, and during the drive, his grandmother’s vile of ashes was smashed in the car and spilled all over me. Had that not happened, I fear he would have killed us both. It was a moment too significant to ignore. I eventually went back to the bus with him, but a few days later, he was kicked out. I helped him move to Warkworth, but that’s a whole other story.
Afterward, Bear stayed in touch with the woman. She repeatedly reached out to him, asking him to score drugs for her. It felt like a betrayal, especially after everything that had happened. Not only had she disrespected me, but Bear continued communication with her was a painful reminder of how little he seemed to care about me or our relationship. Her persistence in asking him for drugs only reinforced how toxic the whole situation was. I had already suspected cheating and drug use due to his change in behaviour over the last two months, and this further confirmed my suspicions. How many times had he been blackout drunk? He said he hadn’t been sober all summer. I suppose one could say this was the final nail in the coffin.
I couldn’t understand his hate and anger towards me and my children, he was determined to destroy us and the plans and dreams we shared so I got my kids out of there 5 months later and have been walking around with a heavy heart since.
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