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As in, *cringe*
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#1
Oh. My. God.
Where do I start?? There are so many...
I think my worst was when I was 16. I lived right by a Hobby Lobby and I used to walk there all the time when I was bored.
So I'm walking around one day, just looking around, and I see this guy out of the corner of my eye. And he looks SO familiar. Like I'm 100% I know this guy from somewhere, right? But he's like 40 and I'm 16 so I have absolutely no clue where I could possibly know him from. Maybe a friend of my parents or something right?
Now what you need to understand about me is that I have pretty horrible social anxiety even now, and it was WAY worse at 16. So while I really want to figure out where I know this guy from, I REALLY don't want to go up and ask. Like I'm talking I'd rather swallow glass shards than ask him. So naturally I did the only next logic step...
I stalked him through the store, trying to catch a better look at his face.
And I got caught within minutes because, I'm not a ninja. And the minute he turns around I realize I do not in fact know this man. But he's super nice about it, right? All he said was "can I help you?"
And I PANICKED.
Another thing you need to understand about me is when I'm super uncomfortable, I word vomit. I babble until I'm blue in the face trying to dig myself out of a grave, usually only succeeding in digging myself further in. I call it my blabalanche.
I'm not entirely sure what I MEANT to say. "You caught my attention" or "you attracted my attention" I dunno.
What came out was...
"Oh I'm so sorry. You attracted me.
I mean, not attracted me, you're like 40!
Not that theres anything wrong with being 40, I'm sure plenty of women find you... aesthetically pleasing (whatever THAT was supposed to mean) just not me personally.
NOT THAT I THINK YOURE UGLY!
You're not ugly just
I just mean you're too old.
For me!
Specifically.
Not old!
Just too old for me.
Because I'm 16 and if you wanted someone 16 you'd be a creep.
Not that I THINK you're a creep!
I just meant you never know what someone is into. I mean you could be gay for all I know and-
Not that I think you're gay!
NOT THAT THERES ANYTHING WRONG WITH THAT!! IM NOT COMPARING THE TWO!!
I mean love is love right? Love whoever you want. Just not kids.
I mean um
I just meant
I thought I recognized you. But clearly I don't and I'm just so sorry for um... Existing."
And then I RAN!!
This poor guy tried to cut me off like a dozen times and I just couldn't seem to let him. By the end I think he was just stunned into silence.
I didn't go back to Hobby Lobby for nearly 2 years...
Final score:
3points
RELATED:
#2
I have a lot.
But how about the first time I got asked out. His opening line was "So, how's your walk with Jesus?"
My entire family and friend-group (and my crush😶) were sitting on the bleachers with me and I think it took a lot for them not to burst out laughing.
It was my first time being asked out, and he was a total stranger so I was extremely embarrassed and awkward.
I told him no as nicely as I could, although I was very tempted to do the old "hey, ask my dad" thing because my Dad was two seats behind me and definitely would have covered for me.🤣
That said, kudos to the dude for asking out a stranger and being brave enough to do it in front of her dad (he knew because I introduced them).
Final score:
3points
#3
I literally told my dad about my boyfriend during a family dinner at a restaurant, and my dad said that he would have a gun when he meets him, and I was so freaking embarrassed, I literally just wanted to die. But now my dad is totally fine with me texting him, which makes me happy.
Final score:
1point
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