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Someone Asked Men To Share What They Learned From Living With Women That They Didn’t Know Before, And These Are 30 Of The Most Surprising Answers
Going from living all on your own, with your family, or with a few roommates to moving in together with your partner is a huge step. For one, the romantic dynamic can become very different. You’re spending far more time together and you start dealing with mundane household issues like dividing up chores, syncing up your showering schedules, and claiming your side of the bed.
You start seeing your partner in a different light: you notice more of their quirks and how they behave when they fully let their guard down. It can be fun, endearing, and incredibly surprising.
The men of Reddit revealed all of the surprising things that they learned only after they moved in with a woman. We’ve collected the most fun and interesting responses from these two r/AskReddit threads to entertain and illuminate you, Pandas. Odds are, you might relate to a lot of these tales.
How was life changed for you after you moved in with your partner? How do you decide who does what chores? Do you have any advice for all the Pandas who haven’t yet lived with someone they love? Share your wisdom and experience in the comments. And if you'd like to read some more similar stories, check out Bored Panda's previous article right here.
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#2
Seducing a woman you live with starts with doing the dishes...
#3
How totally feral and uncivilized I used to be. It turns out that sunscreen is a thing! Decorating your home can make it look really nice! Doctor's checkups are important!
There's a *reason* that men who are in relationships live longer.
When it comes to getting along with anyone—whether it’s your partner, family member, friend, or coworker—what really helps is setting expectations, communicating openly, and clarifying boundaries if needed.
Nobody’s a mind-reader (as far as we can tell, at least), so if you’re upset about something or you’d like your partner to give you more of a hand with the cooking, cleaning, etc., it’s best to have an honest but friendly chat about it. Passive aggression won’t lead to anything good.
#4
The hair. I just don’t understand how she can shed that much hair and not be bald. It’s literally everywhere.
#5
The toilet seat AND lid belong in the down position when it's not in use.
It looks better and the dog doesn't drink out of it.
#6
Nothing puts the fear of God into a woman like the threat of someone showing up unexpectedly & seeing how she really lives. Multiply that by a factor of 4 if it's her mother in law.
However, living together with someone doesn’t mean that literally every single waking minute has to be spent together. That’s not too healthy. Both partners need to understand that having some privacy is completely fine.
People need some space and time to be alone with their thoughts and hobbies. You don’t have to sacrifice your entire life and personality just to keep your partner happy. On the flip side, you shouldn’t expect that your partner will overhaul everything about themselves just so you can keep living as you always did. Some compromises will have to be made, eventually. Figuring out what a shared life looks like is part of the fun.
#7
If they come home at night and don't expect you to be home, make some kind of you-specific, but non-threatening noise somewhere on the other side of the house BEFORE you say hi to them. DO NOT just pop you head around the corner and say hi. Girls coming home at night to an "empty" house are in pins and needles, even if they don't know it.
#9
That the difference of "I'm not hungry at all" and "I'm going to eat you alive because I'm desperately hungry" is about 5 seconds.
#10
Women have objectively better sense of smell than us. What stinks to them is mild for us.
#11
For a year, I lived with four girls when i was in college.
I don’t have a sister and at the time never had a serious girlfriend.
I learned a lot about cycles.
Theirs synced up. I didn’t know that was a thing. During that time, or dare I say, period.....it was so much fun dealing with the tearful emotional anguish of things like, “who ate my macaroni and cheese!?!!”
I was like, why have my roommates all gone psychotic at the same time?
#12
They both, always have to pee yet don't feel like peeing. Basically a Schrödinger's bladder situation going on.
Dylan Armstrong 2 years ago
We tire of peeing because of how often we have to do it. Sometimes it seems like my whole life is just peeing all day long with scattered bits of trying to get things done between bathroom runs.
#13
When I moved to my current city, I moved in with a guy that has obviously been living on his own for awhile. He only bought toilet paper one roll at a time, because he felt like extra toilet paper was unnecessary clutter. By month two, I couldn't stand it anymore, so I bought multipack and kept it in my room.
I'm making him sound like a weird tight ass, and he really wasn't. I just don't think he had any understanding of how much toilet paper women use.
#14
I learned that their vaginal secretions bleach their underwear over time. Empirically I knew their bajingos have a basic pH, but I didn't expect them to bleach their underwear just by wearing it.
EDIT: Bajingos have an acidic pH. I was drinking last night and messed up my pH scale. Either way, acid washed jeans are essentially bleached too, so the fact that their bajingos bleach their underoos still applies.
#15
The act of showering is a detailed and complex process.
Marley Marl 2 years ago
As a woman I agree with this. I have a process and separate body towels for washing. I wash and condition my hair first. While my hair is conditioning, I use my private parts towel for cleaning my private parts, then I use my body towel for my face and body, last, I finish by washing the conditioner out of my hair, and done.
#16
That they expect a spotless house but often drive cars that could make a Petri dish tap out.
Ian Webling 2 years ago
Must show wife to prove it's not just me who thinks this. And she likes to drive my car.
#17
Scented Candles are the f*****g bomb
#18
They actually DO fart.
#20
When they pee, it's really loud. Not the urine hitting the water, but when it comes out of them. I never knew.
Paul Donahue 2 years ago
Puff out your chest, clench you butt and stomach to secure p.s.i. dominance!
#21
Paper towels are expensive... the way my wife talks about them, they are woven from angel hairs and can’t be used without express written consent.
Same for Clorox wipes, but worse.
#22
Clothing. So much clothing! When I got married my wife moved in and brought 24 pairs of jeans! I counted them! A week after our honeymoon she told me "I have no clothes, saw some cool jeans at the mall"... mindblown! Here I just make do with 3 pairs!
Catherine 2 years ago
This is definitely me and my husband! But listen two secrets to a happy marriage here: 1. We value and spend our money on different things and that's ok! I like clothes. He likes fancy computer parts and gadgets. And 2. His and her closets! He doesn't complain about my 100 pairs of shoes if he's not looking at them regularly. Out of sight, out of mind ;)
#23
Now I understand why so much floor space in the grocery store is devoted to creams, lotions, soaps, shampoos, remedies, band aids, hair management and makeup. Also why there's a whole industry devoted to products to hold and organize that stuff.
Also, evidently sheets need to be changed on a regular weekly schedule. Who knew?
Indosidius 2 years ago
I change sheets once a week. As for the lotions and stuff? I still don't understand. But listen to me Fashion Industry: women need proper pockets!
#24
They rearrange a lot.
#25
Better to be happy than right.
Greatest
Lesson
Ever
Ed Brandon 2 years ago
What a sad state to end up in, having to agree with someone you feel is wrong in order that they stop gaslighting you.
#26
Taking a shower is a huge process for my wife and daughters. There are 7 different soaps that each do different things. 21 different shampoo and conditioner bottles that I knock over every time stepping in and out of the shower. There are razors all over. Oh, and I use the same towel for like 3 weeks. They need fresh, clean towels every shower. And, I never knew that people actually used those little square towels. There’s also some poofy, thing that hangs from the shower head. No idea what that’s for. I’ve had to buy 2 extra suction cup shower tray thingys to house all their showering needs. I’ve also learned that when I go to the store to buy something, I will always get the wrong thing. There is often several different types and brands of the products that I need to purchase and i will always pick the wrong one. Women’s brains are amazing at remembering that s**t.
#27
The bathtub drain gets clogged by long hair very, very easily. Which is why it gets pasted on the walls of the shower. Any attempts to prevent one will result in the other.
Dylan Armstrong 2 years ago
No. Just no. I have hair that goes down to my knees and I never do this. It is horrifically gross. That goes in a trash can and drains get bi-weekly maintenance to prevent clogs.
#28
You can never know what's safe to put in the dryer.
Jeans never go in the dryer because they'll shrink and I just broke them in to a comfy fit.. except when they are now too loose and need to shrink a little so they show off my form and don't make me look fat.
Ditto for shirts, pjs, workout clothes... basically any peice of clothing needs to be precleared for the dryer every wash
#29
That there is apparently a wrong way to put the milk in the fridge.
Also, if she can't sleep, I'm not allowed to either.
#30
A little late, and this could be more due to me having a busy bee of a girlfriend, but, there is never a ‘Do Nothing’ day. It’s always gotta be groceries or shopping or something of the sort.
#31
That no matter what time you leave the house they will always remember that ONE thing they have to go back in for after you locked the door.
#32
Women seem to have triple the minor health issues that I do. She goes through headaches, feels fat, knee hurts, hand hurts, this hurts, that hurts, tired, bleeding, ovaries attempting to eat it's self, boobs sore, on and on. As a guy, When I work 12 hour shifts my back hurts, and my feet hurts. Das it.
Rae Huffman 2 years ago
Yeah but when men get a cold they suddenly turn into needy little babies.
#33
that the best time to clean the house is right before we have to leave to go somewhere.
Channon Doughty 2 years ago
Sounds like she doesn't want to go or wants to come home to no chores
#34
the toilet seat thing isn't just some kind of tv trope/ cliché. they really do fall in the toilet and it really does piss them off.... you'd think they'd learn to fucking look before they sat down...
#35
They aren't always right, but they are never wrong. :)
Leigh Matthews 2 years ago
Some of these make me sad. What type of person can’t admit to being wrong and apologize?
Dillon Brown 2 years ago
I don't know, I learned early on in my marriage that understanding what my wife was feeling and trying to address her concern was more important than trying to be right. That's the way I've always taken comments like this.
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Wendy Herman 2 years ago (edited)
Not so gender-specific, as there are many guys like that, too. And Heaven forbid that a gal dare share a strong opinion around them, b/c it seems to cause certain parts of their anatomy to shrink, which deeply angers them. I'd say this is a trait of very insecure people. Of course, I may be wrong.
KnightOwl 2 years ago
I hate people who think like this. Noone is right all the time and anyone who thinks they are is delusional. Everyone should be able to admit to being wrong or making mistakes and take responsibility for it. People who think they're always right never learn from their mistakes, so never grow or develop as people, they're best avoided in my experience.
Michael Largey 2 years ago
All spouses should ask themselves The Essential Question : "Do I want to be right, or do I want to be happy?"
Celtic Pirate Queen 2 years ago
Nah, that's horsesh*t. Being in a relationship means having decent communication skills. If I'm wrong, I'll own it - but my husband is cool enough to not rub it in my face or be a d*ck about it.
Mary Kelly 2 years ago
if you are with anyone of any sex and they make you feel this way, leave...on the other hand, if you're just each picking your own battles, good on you
#36
If they see an empty chair, that’s where the purse, the coat, and the scarf go. Nevermind that the coat rack is 5 feet from said chair. So many chairs in our place rendered unusable by all the stuff she lays on them.
#37
Mornings are a sort of tribal ritual. There are better days for which we are blessed with astral forgiveness and kindness directly from f*****g Jupiter or something because she'll shower and put on make up and know what to wear in half an hour.
Then there are the other days.
The borderline nervous breakdown because she doesn't have clothes or that hue of blue doesn't match her sweater. Any feeble attempt to help will be met with contempt, any attempt to mind your own business will get you in trouble for not caring. And the make up trap, oh God the make up trap. Listen, you never want to say that the make up doesn't match or look good. Just don't even try.
Ed Brandon 2 years ago
I feel like most of the guys making these complaints may just have shacked up with the wrong women?
#38
Thank you! My girlfriend schedules our DVR to record at least 6 variations of shows which might as well be called Rich Women Screaming At Each Other While Eating $30 Salads
#39
They say they want to be at home with you, but they want you to take them out. Where? Anywhere. Give your first 23 suggestions and they are shot down.
Mama Penguin 2 years ago
Nah. When I say I want to be home with my hubby, I mean sweatpants and baggy t-shirt day with food and Netflix binge or video game.
#42
The amount of time it takes for them to decide where to go to dinner to them eventually being ready to go is very frustrating.
#43
they drink a lot of wine when they are sad
or when they are stressed
or when they feel like drinking a lot of wine aka most evenings
Dylan Armstrong 2 years ago
That's called alcoholism. Our society predisposes a lot of people to it, but it isn't healthy and shouldn't be viewed as normal, despite the prolific nature of this behavior. If she is drinking that much, she is VERY stressed and needs some big changes in her life. You have the opportunity to be a positive one.
#44
"Do you have anything for the washing machine?" actually means:
* get off your a*s and go through the whole house to collect all of the clothes, dishes, and garbage bins
* give me the clothes that you are currently *wearing*, even though you just put them on 30 minutes ago
* wash, dry and put away the dishes
* empty all of the bins, take the trash out, put new liners into the bins
* wipe down all the benches
* clean the toilets
* vacuum and mop the floors; and
* be ready to be abused and called a lazy bastard because, even though it was never mentioned at any point, today was the day she decided that you should have worked out for yourself that the shower screen needed re-caulking. *In the bathroom that you are not allowed to use.*
#45
They have some kind of spell that makes any coffee table I've had become magic. Leave pizza and beer on the table. Boom! Gone the next day. Don't feel like cleaning your dishes. Boom! Clean the next day. It's f*****g amazing!
What do you think ?
I Am John 2 years ago
Yeah, happily married 8 years and much of this is the opposite for us. I'm 100% the nesting, tidy, cooking one.
Load More Replies...
Marjon van der Erve 2 years ago
As reading this I'm probably not a woman? So much stereo typing in one post... We are not al cleaning obsessed controlling anxious people with a bazillion beauty routines, please.... Thank you.
Jay Son 2 years ago
It's ok. After reading these it seems I married a man and became a woman myself lol
Load More Replies...
Leo Domitrix 2 years ago
All this does is prove that a lot of men have a lot of weird ideas about what women "should be like". Guess what? We're human. If you're male, reading this comment, and hate being stereotyped... right back at ya, I hate it too! (Female, so over this c**p about men being surprised women have body functions or whatever it is...)
ThreeAngryLlamas 2 years ago
Holy f*ck, the vast majority of these are either flat out wrong (syncing menstrual cycles has been proven time and again to be a myth), or they are clearly based on a man's extremely limited experience living with a women and deciding all the things she does differently to him must be representative of the entire gender. This thread is just an excuse to showcase misogyny and male egos. Ew.
Yvonne Dauwalder Balsiger 2 years ago
This list is so dumb, why make it sound that by living with 1 woman you learned something about ALL women? Women are not all alike and neither are men. Sure you can always calculate a gender average, but the standard deviation within a gender is usually huge, so the average is not meaningful (or robust) at all.
Loki’s Lil Butter Knife 2 years ago
Wow, BoredPanda. I’m kind of disappointed this was posted. Do you edit or read over people’s comments before you post listicles like this. The amount of stereotypes in this thread was mind boggling.
Tamra 2 years ago
They do it every week with the US. Meh, I'm starting to get used to it...like chronic pain you just don't notice after a while.
Load More Replies...
funkybluegirl 2 years ago
With the exception of menstruation, these have nothing to do with gender. More personality types. Though I will say, the self-care stuff is, somewhat, legit, but only because gender stereotypes shame some men into thinking it's 'girly' to pamper yourself.
Izzy Curer 2 years ago (edited)
I guess I thought this was going to be something nice, like a general understanding, based on the first couple on the list. I don't know what I expected. What a load of sexist bs.
Jackie Lulu 2 years ago
We need to have a list of thing that women didn't know about men. Sure to be enlightening for both sexes (or all sexes).
Rocky Mom 2 years ago
Yea, like men having quite a lot of emotions and vices that have been deemed as only "women problematics" such as.. they actually don't communicate what exactly they'd prefer and primarily use passive aggressiveness as a communication tool.
Load More Replies...
Mrs Irish Mom 2 years ago
How about we do it the other way around and instead of just 45 wel have 145
2x4b523p 2 years ago
In reading this list, I wonder if I really am a woman. I do not recognize myself in any of these. Perhaps changing sheets weekly, but my husband was already on weekly schedule before we met.
Load More Replies...
Mandy Delaforce (PC Girl) 2 years ago
This whole list is just a list of men whining about their partners and probably in unhappy relationships. What a few women do, does not define the sex.
2picklesinabun 2 years ago
If I can't see myself in these, I sure as heck know other women I see in them lol
DrLivingstonipresume 2 years ago
What a load of sexist garbage!! Please just take this whole list down
Groon TheWonderdog 2 years ago
Really not anything good here just dated stereotypes that are stale. This could have been way better.
Jennifer Forshee 2 years ago
So much of this sounds like "I married a woman who was always made up and dressed to the nines and then I realized that that takes time, work, and a lot of products and clothing." Um duh?
the Return of Bruno 2 years ago (edited)
Back in the '90s, there was an entire profession of people who used to stand in front of brick walls and explain these things to people.
Trina Botner 2 years ago
This just shows that men dont know how to live in a clean house without being micomanaged. You mean someone actually has to wash dishes and do laundry? nooo wayyy *epic eye roll* grow up
Sergio Bicerra 2 years ago
I learned is not ok to use the same kitchen cloth for months without washing it. And to have an actual first aid box, not just aspirine.
Sergio Bicerra 2 years ago
Also, no matrer what we were arguing about, we still love each other and both deserve respect.
Load More Replies...
I Am John 2 years ago
Yeah, happily married 8 years and much of this is the opposite for us. I'm 100% the nesting, tidy, cooking one.
Load More Replies... Marjon van der Erve 2 years ago
As reading this I'm probably not a woman? So much stereo typing in one post... We are not al cleaning obsessed controlling anxious people with a bazillion beauty routines, please.... Thank you.
Jay Son 2 years ago
It's ok. After reading these it seems I married a man and became a woman myself lol
Load More Replies... Leo Domitrix 2 years ago
All this does is prove that a lot of men have a lot of weird ideas about what women "should be like". Guess what? We're human. If you're male, reading this comment, and hate being stereotyped... right back at ya, I hate it too! (Female, so over this c**p about men being surprised women have body functions or whatever it is...)
ThreeAngryLlamas 2 years ago
Holy f*ck, the vast majority of these are either flat out wrong (syncing menstrual cycles has been proven time and again to be a myth), or they are clearly based on a man's extremely limited experience living with a women and deciding all the things she does differently to him must be representative of the entire gender. This thread is just an excuse to showcase misogyny and male egos. Ew.
Yvonne Dauwalder Balsiger 2 years ago
This list is so dumb, why make it sound that by living with 1 woman you learned something about ALL women? Women are not all alike and neither are men. Sure you can always calculate a gender average, but the standard deviation within a gender is usually huge, so the average is not meaningful (or robust) at all.
Loki’s Lil Butter Knife 2 years ago
Wow, BoredPanda. I’m kind of disappointed this was posted. Do you edit or read over people’s comments before you post listicles like this. The amount of stereotypes in this thread was mind boggling.
Tamra 2 years ago
They do it every week with the US. Meh, I'm starting to get used to it...like chronic pain you just don't notice after a while.
Load More Replies... funkybluegirl 2 years ago
With the exception of menstruation, these have nothing to do with gender. More personality types. Though I will say, the self-care stuff is, somewhat, legit, but only because gender stereotypes shame some men into thinking it's 'girly' to pamper yourself.
Izzy Curer 2 years ago (edited)
I guess I thought this was going to be something nice, like a general understanding, based on the first couple on the list. I don't know what I expected. What a load of sexist bs.
Jackie Lulu 2 years ago
We need to have a list of thing that women didn't know about men. Sure to be enlightening for both sexes (or all sexes).
Rocky Mom 2 years ago
Yea, like men having quite a lot of emotions and vices that have been deemed as only "women problematics" such as.. they actually don't communicate what exactly they'd prefer and primarily use passive aggressiveness as a communication tool.
Load More Replies... Mrs Irish Mom 2 years ago
How about we do it the other way around and instead of just 45 wel have 145
2x4b523p 2 years ago
In reading this list, I wonder if I really am a woman. I do not recognize myself in any of these. Perhaps changing sheets weekly, but my husband was already on weekly schedule before we met.
Load More Replies... Mandy Delaforce (PC Girl) 2 years ago
This whole list is just a list of men whining about their partners and probably in unhappy relationships. What a few women do, does not define the sex.
2picklesinabun 2 years ago
If I can't see myself in these, I sure as heck know other women I see in them lol
DrLivingstonipresume 2 years ago
What a load of sexist garbage!! Please just take this whole list down
Groon TheWonderdog 2 years ago
Really not anything good here just dated stereotypes that are stale. This could have been way better.
Jennifer Forshee 2 years ago
So much of this sounds like "I married a woman who was always made up and dressed to the nines and then I realized that that takes time, work, and a lot of products and clothing." Um duh?
the Return of Bruno 2 years ago (edited)
Back in the '90s, there was an entire profession of people who used to stand in front of brick walls and explain these things to people.
Trina Botner 2 years ago
This just shows that men dont know how to live in a clean house without being micomanaged. You mean someone actually has to wash dishes and do laundry? nooo wayyy *epic eye roll* grow up
Sergio Bicerra 2 years ago
I learned is not ok to use the same kitchen cloth for months without washing it. And to have an actual first aid box, not just aspirine.
Sergio Bicerra 2 years ago
Also, no matrer what we were arguing about, we still love each other and both deserve respect.
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