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Women Caught Men Thinking And Asked What’s On Their Mind, These 30 Answers Didn’t Disappoint
British satirical comedy show The Mash Report once did a hilarious skit about why you should never ask a man what he’s thinking. You’ll find the clip a little further down. Basically, in the fake news report a couple’s romantic weekend away was ruined after a guy’s wife wanted to know his innermost thoughts. Needless to say, his reply wasn’t what she wanted to hear. It had nothing to do with her, their holiday, their relationship, or anything of real substance. Instead, he was deep in thought about some random rubbish. And she was not impressed.
While intended to be satirical and funny, the fake news clip held some good, genuine advice: Don’t ask if you don’t want to know. And, the chances are he's thinking about nothing. Or nothing important. People have been sharing their own hilarious replies to the question "what are you thinking?" From the bizarre, to the confusing, to the downright annoying, Bored Panda has gathered the best answers. Keep scrolling for a glimpse into the mindless thoughts of men. And don't forget to upvote your favorites.
Credits: Ovid
While the clip was part of a comedy show, the stories we collected are real and are as amusing and entertaining as the skit
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
My wife saw me looking out over the deck at a beautiful sunset and asked what I was thinking and I asked if I was cloned or duplicated would my clones recognize I was in charge or would they try to take over which would backfire my plan of not working to begin with. She walked back in the house.
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#2
My girl: what are you thinking?
Me: how many kilojoule of fart would it take to lift me an inch from the floor?
#3
My wife saw me staring off in the distance, squinting my eyes and asked what I was thinking.. I'm trying to line up the edge of the TV with a beam and ceiling behind it. Never asked me again.
Thoughts aren’t tangible things like coins or pens or strands of hair. So it’s not that easy to accurately count how many of them we have on any given day. But at least one research paper suggests the human mind receives an estimated 6-8 million thoughts per day, or around 2,500-3,300 thoughts per hour.
While some of these are important and useful, the vast majority are not. In fact, this Journal of Lifestyle Medicine review notes that "a detailed assessment of these thoughts proposes 90% of the thoughts to be irrelevant". Like some of the random thoughts listed on this page...
#4
Whenever my wife asks what I'm thinking about, I always tell her I'm thinking about dragons. Truthfully, neither of us were thinking about dragons, but now we are both thinking about dragons. It's a win/win
SheamusFanFrom1987 5 days ago
Ends up both husband and wife were Chasing The Dragons in their minds... XP
#5
My ex-girlfriend would always ask me “a penny for your thoughts”. It got so annoying because many times I really was thinking about nothing. She wanted to hear something romantic and there really was nothing at the moment to share. That doesn’t mean I was never thinking about her romantically. It was just not so at that moment. This is how men think. Women need to understand that.
#6
married 22 years, I know better… when I ask, it’s because I know the answer will be ridiculous.
After a romantic dinner that he made to welcome me home…
Me: Babe, what ya thinking?
Hub: Not much…
Me: C’mon..
Hub: Jack the Ripper…
It’s that or the bunnies… I’d never expect some big romantic whatever…
“I’m wondering if a robot might be handy”
He’s the most perfect amount of weird!
#7
My ex girlfriend once asked me while we were lying in bed, what’s your fantasy, something you’ve never told anyone? I said I sometimes fantasize about being the best footballer in the world who moonlights in a rock band……
She burst out laughing
#8
One time my ex-husband and I were laying in bed, cuddled up, secretly eating ice cream we'd hidden from the kids, and I asked what he was thinking about. I'll never forget his answer.
He said "RoboCop."
#9
Me: *thinks boyfriend is mad bc he’s being very quiet*
Me: “whatcha thinking about?”
Him: “about how bike tires are made”
????
Ladies we gotta stop worrying what boys are thinking bc 9 times out of 10 it’s some dumb s**t like this
Themoonprincess 5 days ago
I don't think it's dumb. That is an interesting question and something most of us take for granted so that we don't give it a second thought.
#10
Mine and my husband's conversation a few months ago:
Me: what are you thinking about? Cuz you look super focused.
Him: all the stuff I need to do on farming simulator
Me: why don't you play it then?
Him: I just wanna think about it right now, I'm not in the mood to actually play it.
I laughed so hard but I get it and I wouldn't have it any other way.
#11
Yeah, I once said I wonder why Elmer Fudd is such a bad shot. And how does the coyote keep buying all that acme stuff instead of just spending the money on a meal. I guess that’s why the relationship didn’t last long.
#12
Me & my girl were in bed just chillin. She was reading, I was watching tv & she looked at me & said “what’re you thinking about babe?”
I said “I wonder how many flavors of Gatorade there actually are.”
She just said nvm & kept reading.
#13
During a (seemingly) sweet and tender moment last night, I asked my boyfriend what he was thinking about and he said “how devastating Wookiees would be in a medieval setting.”
Penguin Panda Pop 5 days ago
'Wookies In a Medieval Setting' will be a show on Disney Plus about 12 months from now. Gotta milk that cash cow.
#14
A few days ago my boyfriend was staring off so I was like “are you ok?” “Babe?” “Are you mad??”
This man snaps out of it and goes “huh..wut? Sorry I was looking at that squirrel..look at him living his life..I wonder if he has any responsibilities“
Bruh what??
#15
When asked what I was thinking, I said I wonder how much water is in the Pacific Ocean.
#16
About 20 years ago we talked about getting married. He said he was going to propose at some point so I was waiting.
After a couple times of wondering when and how it would happen, we were traveling together.
We ended up at the Arch in St. Louis. We were wandering through the park around sunset and he started glancing around a little nervous. Then he looked at me intently and I thought "oh wow this is it."
Then he said, "I'll be right back, I gotta [pee] and I can't find an outhouse."
#17
I just asked my husband of 3 children last night, "What was the greatest day of your life?" He was really thinking hard and I said "You don't have to choose between the kids births" and he said "Yeah that too, but I can't lie when the Eagles won the Superbowl 7 years back that was such a great day." REALLY!
JayhawkJoey 5 days ago
I received a proposal on the night of the NCAA National Basketball championship. I said yes followed by, "But you know I still need to watch that game."
#18
Went on a walk with my gf and she asked what I was thinking about so intently so I had to tell her “right foot, left foot, right foot, left foot”
#19
My wife asked me yesterday what I was thinking and I answered "Ace Ventura". No joke
AG 5 days ago
Ace fighting the Eagle at the end had me pissing myself. I'll probably replayed that part about 20-30 times and just kept pissing myself each time. The way that the mascots head moved when Ace was hitting him had the tears flowing and my stomach hurting... That really is a fun movie.
#20
I once asked a BF what he was thinking. The answer- 'Nothing, I was just singing a song in my head.'
Was 20 years ago, I'm still trying to decide if he was stupid or a genius.
#21
I asked my husband what he was thinking one night laying in bed. He was staring up at the ceiling deep in thought. He said "I'm thinking about no cornices vs cornices"
#22
We went to see Gladiator 2 recently. After the movie I was sitting thinking and my wife asked what could possibly be on my mind as I looked very serious. I replied, “how the hell did they get great white sharks into the coliseum??”
#23
My partner and I both just go with the last thought.
Me (at 10pm): I was just wondering why the sparrows stick around when I fill the birdfeeder, but the mourning doves leave for at least an hour before coming back to eat.
Him: What if I made t-shirts with our cat as the star on old skool rap album covers? Do you think anyone else would want them?
Previous thoughts that led to those comments would be a nightmare to untangle.
Mecha_Phed 5 days ago
I'm weird too, I'm female, we were having dinner and I asked my boyfriend when we're going to excavate and eventually run out of all the Himalayas' pink salt...like what if we dig it all out and then it's gone. Turned out it's a pretty big mine. He was absolutely floored by my question though
Ash 2 days ago
Oh, that's fascinating! // Also, have you read the book "Salt: A World History" by Mark Kurlansky? He points out that for all of recorded human history, people have been trying to get salt that was white and uniform and finely ground, and were charging high prices for it... And now we have salt that is whiter and more uniform and more finely ground than EVER BEFORE-- and we're suddenly buying salt with impurities in it that make it funny colors, and THOSE are the expensive salts!
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CrunChewy McSandybutt 5 days ago
"Are you pondering what I'm pondering?" "I think so, Brain, but where are we going to find rubber pants in our size?"
Ash 5 days ago
See, I don't understand why the female SO's on this thread didn't respond with their OWN bizarre thoughts. We all got 'em.
Nikole 4 days ago
Like, should I set up a camera to see what the cats do when I’m not there? But then how much of the recording would I watch? Would I just fast forward to when they’re not sleeping? And by doing so, would it then be mildly ironic that I’m watching footage of my cats when I’m home with them? Also random things said by Bobby from King of the Hill… “That’s my purse! I don’t know you!”.
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Anne Jones 5 days ago
Now I’m going to lose sleep wondering about the sparrows and the doves…..do they have a rota?
#24
Not quite the same but I still laugh at this glimpse into whatever’s going on (or not going on!) in my hubbys brain sometimes. We were watching a movie together and he asked me “Hey, is that the actor from that Jesus movie we watched?” And I said “Which Jesus movie?” And he said “The Jesus Christ movie”
#25
Once, I was imagining that all humans had been wiped out and I was following, with my mind's eye, a pack of dogs as they learned to fend for themselves. Just as I got to the part where they encountered a wolf for the first time, I hear, "what are you thinking?"
I said, "nothing."
"I know you're thinking about something, I can tell."
#26
Some time ago on a hike a guy stopped, looked in my eyes, hugged me and said 'today is 6 months we've known each other' to what I replied 's**t, is it 5th today? The salmon in my fridge goes out of date'. What was indeed true, I remember I had to cook it by 5th.
#28
After fifteen minutes of silence she said "talk to me" and I said "it's gonna be 4 months til the karate kid movie, you wanna see it?"
"If I'm still here"
#29
I wonder if I could start my own business selling sand from the beach.
CanadianDimes 5 days ago
There are people who sell air in jars from various places in the world (e.g., the Rockies) so why not?
#30
My ex wife used to ask me what I was thinking alllllllllllllll the time, and I would say nothing, I'm not thinking of anything. She would keep asking me for over a year until I just said alright you want to know what I'm thinking? 'm thinking who would win between the white queen professor in a chess match on the astral plane with the x-men as chess pieces. And she got mad saying that's what you're thinking? I said yeah, now you know why I said nothing all those times. We got into an argument about me not being open with my thoughts and when she said I always tell you what I'm thinking I asked her how many times did I ask you? She never asked me again for the last four ears we were together.
What do you think ?
Themoonprincess 5 days ago (edited)
I am a very imaginative person and I make up fantasy stories in my head. One time I was telling my boyfriend about the cheesy romantic story of a boy who could see this ghost girl and talk to her. He asked for details and I said only he could see her and my bf goes like " I have to say something". Me ( hoping for something romantic with starry eyes): What is it? Him: Bet she's handy during card games.
Janissary35680 5 days ago (edited)
"One night a wife found her husband standing over their baby's crib. Silently she watched him. As he stood looking down at the sleeping infant, she saw on his face a mixture of emotions: disbelief, doubt, delight, amazement, enchantment, skepticism. Touched by this unusual display and the deep emotions it aroused, with eyes glistening she slipped her arm around her husband. "A penny for your thoughts," she said tenderly. "It's amazing!" he replied. "I just can't see how anybody can make a crib like that and sell it for only $49.99.""
AK 4 days ago
And then they dropped to the floor and crawled out of the room to avoid the waking infant seeing them and demanding to be fed (speaking from experience).
Load More Replies... 
Johnny McFearless 5 days ago
Now a very honest question. Don't women also let their thoughts roam freely over various things?
My O My 5 days ago
Absolutely yes! Relating to this list I should be a man
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Auntriarch 5 days ago
Apparently "what are you thinking about" actually means "tell me you love me" or occasionally "are you angry about something and is it me". Mr Auntriarch does occasionally ask me what I'm thinking, it's amazing how just hearing the question empties my mind.
Tessa 5 days ago
Yes they are! I was amazed by that the first time I saw a grown pig in real life. They also have more hair than I thought.
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Faelwolf 5 days ago
My wife learned many years ago not to ask me the cliche questions or anything she didn't really want to hear the answer to. I'm a pretty honest and practical person. :) On the other hand, she knows I'll always talk straight, and she can trust me at my word. It's worked out pretty well for over 20 years, so I guess we're okay.
Pencil 4 days ago
Direct and honest answers were one of the reasons I feel in love with my husband. The first meal I ever cooked for him (I love to cook) he loved it and told me so. The second meal, he said was "meh" "kinda one-note". Some people think it was way to soon for that and he shouldn't have said it. But to me it was a sign that I could trust him to tell me the truth and he trusted me to hear it.
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ॐBoyGanesh 5 days ago
“If I had influence with the good fairy who is supposed to preside over the christening of all children, I should ask that her gift to each child in the world be a sense of wonder so indestructible that it would last throughout life, as an unfailing antidote against the boredom and disenchantments of later years, the sterile preoccupation with things that are artificial, the alienation from the sources of our strength.” - Rachel Carson, The Sense of Wonder: A Celebration of Nature for Parents and Children
John Harrison 5 days ago
This is a fun topic, but ultimately kinda silly. You're telling me that women don't think about random things like this?
Cecil 5 days ago
This one does... and my BF has been known to ask me. I guess we're both different than the sterotypes implied here
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BradGfromDaBoo 5 days ago
I used to wonder how crane's that build skyscrapers were set up the along came google
Nikole 4 days ago
Ain’t that the truth. It’s nice knowing, but sometimes when I look up something like that and get the answer, my reaction is, “Oh. Okay.”
Load More Replies...
Schmebulock 4 days ago
The lesson here is to stop asking men what they are thinking. You NEVER see men ask each other that.
Marnie 4 days ago
My now ex-husband used to ask me what I was thinking every so often. To this day, I can't understand why. He generally had very little interest in me, and certainly less in getting to know me. And I never knew what to say. In the time it took him to ask the question, I had thought of 17 different things, or was thinking nothing. So, I guess then I would be thinking about the fact that when he asked, I was thinking of either 0 things or 17 things, so that's what I would tell him.
Bec 5 days ago
Unnecessarily gendered. I (a woman) am often lost in thought, about nothing in particular. Husband will ask me why I am so quiet on road trips, 1) I don't like having to talk over car noise, and 2) I lead a rich inner life and can entertain myself for hours just using my imagination
Aleksandras Tvardauskas 5 days ago
Get an ev, it will solve the first part of your problem ^^
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Heffalump 5 days ago (edited)
Can we never again act as though women asking men what they are thinking is in any way appropriate? It's irritating and intrusive at best. It puts us in the position of having to either surrender the privacy of our thoughts or being forced to lie.If men asked women the same question, expected an answer, and got bent out of shape if they refused, we'd all rightly call that controlling and abuse behaviour.
John Harrison 5 days ago
1. My guy, you need to learn about healthy boundaries. "I don't want to talk about it right now," is a perfectly acceptable response. If she gets bent out of shape about that, she's insecure. Work with her on that, and if she can't/won't change, move on to the next one. 2. I think most women would be pleased to be asked what they're thinking about.
Load More Replies...
Themoonprincess 5 days ago (edited)
I am a very imaginative person and I make up fantasy stories in my head. One time I was telling my boyfriend about the cheesy romantic story of a boy who could see this ghost girl and talk to her. He asked for details and I said only he could see her and my bf goes like " I have to say something". Me ( hoping for something romantic with starry eyes): What is it? Him: Bet she's handy during card games.
Janissary35680 5 days ago (edited)
"One night a wife found her husband standing over their baby's crib. Silently she watched him. As he stood looking down at the sleeping infant, she saw on his face a mixture of emotions: disbelief, doubt, delight, amazement, enchantment, skepticism. Touched by this unusual display and the deep emotions it aroused, with eyes glistening she slipped her arm around her husband. "A penny for your thoughts," she said tenderly. "It's amazing!" he replied. "I just can't see how anybody can make a crib like that and sell it for only $49.99.""
AK 4 days ago
And then they dropped to the floor and crawled out of the room to avoid the waking infant seeing them and demanding to be fed (speaking from experience).
Load More Replies... Johnny McFearless 5 days ago
Now a very honest question. Don't women also let their thoughts roam freely over various things?
My O My 5 days ago
Absolutely yes! Relating to this list I should be a man
Load More Replies... Auntriarch 5 days ago
Apparently "what are you thinking about" actually means "tell me you love me" or occasionally "are you angry about something and is it me". Mr Auntriarch does occasionally ask me what I'm thinking, it's amazing how just hearing the question empties my mind.
Tessa 5 days ago
Yes they are! I was amazed by that the first time I saw a grown pig in real life. They also have more hair than I thought.
Load More Replies... Faelwolf 5 days ago
My wife learned many years ago not to ask me the cliche questions or anything she didn't really want to hear the answer to. I'm a pretty honest and practical person. :) On the other hand, she knows I'll always talk straight, and she can trust me at my word. It's worked out pretty well for over 20 years, so I guess we're okay.
Pencil 4 days ago
Direct and honest answers were one of the reasons I feel in love with my husband. The first meal I ever cooked for him (I love to cook) he loved it and told me so. The second meal, he said was "meh" "kinda one-note". Some people think it was way to soon for that and he shouldn't have said it. But to me it was a sign that I could trust him to tell me the truth and he trusted me to hear it.
Load More Replies... ॐBoyGanesh 5 days ago
“If I had influence with the good fairy who is supposed to preside over the christening of all children, I should ask that her gift to each child in the world be a sense of wonder so indestructible that it would last throughout life, as an unfailing antidote against the boredom and disenchantments of later years, the sterile preoccupation with things that are artificial, the alienation from the sources of our strength.” - Rachel Carson, The Sense of Wonder: A Celebration of Nature for Parents and Children
John Harrison 5 days ago
This is a fun topic, but ultimately kinda silly. You're telling me that women don't think about random things like this?
Cecil 5 days ago
This one does... and my BF has been known to ask me. I guess we're both different than the sterotypes implied here
Load More Replies... BradGfromDaBoo 5 days ago
I used to wonder how crane's that build skyscrapers were set up the along came google
Nikole 4 days ago
Ain’t that the truth. It’s nice knowing, but sometimes when I look up something like that and get the answer, my reaction is, “Oh. Okay.”
Load More Replies... Schmebulock 4 days ago
The lesson here is to stop asking men what they are thinking. You NEVER see men ask each other that.
Marnie 4 days ago
My now ex-husband used to ask me what I was thinking every so often. To this day, I can't understand why. He generally had very little interest in me, and certainly less in getting to know me. And I never knew what to say. In the time it took him to ask the question, I had thought of 17 different things, or was thinking nothing. So, I guess then I would be thinking about the fact that when he asked, I was thinking of either 0 things or 17 things, so that's what I would tell him.
Bec 5 days ago
Unnecessarily gendered. I (a woman) am often lost in thought, about nothing in particular. Husband will ask me why I am so quiet on road trips, 1) I don't like having to talk over car noise, and 2) I lead a rich inner life and can entertain myself for hours just using my imagination
Aleksandras Tvardauskas 5 days ago
Get an ev, it will solve the first part of your problem ^^
Load More Replies... Heffalump 5 days ago (edited)
Can we never again act as though women asking men what they are thinking is in any way appropriate? It's irritating and intrusive at best. It puts us in the position of having to either surrender the privacy of our thoughts or being forced to lie.If men asked women the same question, expected an answer, and got bent out of shape if they refused, we'd all rightly call that controlling and abuse behaviour.
John Harrison 5 days ago
1. My guy, you need to learn about healthy boundaries. "I don't want to talk about it right now," is a perfectly acceptable response. If she gets bent out of shape about that, she's insecure. Work with her on that, and if she can't/won't change, move on to the next one. 2. I think most women would be pleased to be asked what they're thinking about.
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