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Women Caught Men Thinking And Asked What’s On Their Mind, These 30 Answers Didn’t Disappoint
British satirical comedy show The Mash Report once did a hilarious skit about why you should never ask a man what he’s thinking. You’ll find the clip a little further down. Basically, in the fake news report a couple’s romantic weekend away was ruined after a guy’s wife wanted to know his innermost thoughts. Needless to say, his reply wasn’t what she wanted to hear. It had nothing to do with her, their holiday, their relationship, or anything of real substance. Instead, he was deep in thought about some random rubbish. And she was not impressed.
While intended to be satirical and funny, the fake news clip held some good, genuine advice: Don’t ask if you don’t want to know. And, the chances are he's thinking about nothing. Or nothing important. People have been sharing their own hilarious replies to the question "what are you thinking?" From the bizarre, to the confusing, to the downright annoying, Bored Panda has gathered the best answers. Keep scrolling for a glimpse into the mindless thoughts of men. And don't forget to upvote your favorites.
Credits: Ovid
While the clip was part of a comedy show, the stories we collected are real and are as amusing and entertaining as the skit
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#1
My wife saw me looking out over the deck at a beautiful sunset and asked what I was thinking and I asked if I was cloned or duplicated would my clones recognize I was in charge or would they try to take over which would backfire my plan of not working to begin with. She walked back in the house.
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#2
My girl: what are you thinking?
Me: how many kilojoule of fart would it take to lift me an inch from the floor?
#3
My wife saw me staring off in the distance, squinting my eyes and asked what I was thinking.. I'm trying to line up the edge of the TV with a beam and ceiling behind it. Never asked me again.
Thoughts aren’t tangible things like coins or pens or strands of hair. So it’s not that easy to accurately count how many of them we have on any given day. But at least one research paper suggests the human mind receives an estimated 6-8 million thoughts per day, or around 2,500-3,300 thoughts per hour.
While some of these are important and useful, the vast majority are not. In fact, this Journal of Lifestyle Medicine review notes that "a detailed assessment of these thoughts proposes 90% of the thoughts to be irrelevant". Like some of the random thoughts listed on this page...
#4
Whenever my wife asks what I'm thinking about, I always tell her I'm thinking about dragons. Truthfully, neither of us were thinking about dragons, but now we are both thinking about dragons. It's a win/win
SheamusFanFrom1987 2 days ago
Ends up both husband and wife were Chasing The Dragons in their minds... XP
#5
My ex-girlfriend would always ask me “a penny for your thoughts”. It got so annoying because many times I really was thinking about nothing. She wanted to hear something romantic and there really was nothing at the moment to share. That doesn’t mean I was never thinking about her romantically. It was just not so at that moment. This is how men think. Women need to understand that.
#6
married 22 years, I know better… when I ask, it’s because I know the answer will be ridiculous.
After a romantic dinner that he made to welcome me home…
Me: Babe, what ya thinking?
Hub: Not much…
Me: C’mon..
Hub: Jack the Ripper…
It’s that or the bunnies… I’d never expect some big romantic whatever…
“I’m wondering if a robot might be handy”
He’s the most perfect amount of weird!
#7
My ex girlfriend once asked me while we were lying in bed, what’s your fantasy, something you’ve never told anyone? I said I sometimes fantasize about being the best footballer in the world who moonlights in a rock band……
She burst out laughing
#8
One time my ex-husband and I were laying in bed, cuddled up, secretly eating ice cream we'd hidden from the kids, and I asked what he was thinking about. I'll never forget his answer.
He said "RoboCop."
#9
Me: *thinks boyfriend is mad bc he’s being very quiet*
Me: “whatcha thinking about?”
Him: “about how bike tires are made”
????
Ladies we gotta stop worrying what boys are thinking bc 9 times out of 10 it’s some dumb s**t like this
Themoonprincess 2 days ago
I don't think it's dumb. That is an interesting question and something most of us take for granted so that we don't give it a second thought.
#10
Mine and my husband's conversation a few months ago:
Me: what are you thinking about? Cuz you look super focused.
Him: all the stuff I need to do on farming simulator
Me: why don't you play it then?
Him: I just wanna think about it right now, I'm not in the mood to actually play it.
I laughed so hard but I get it and I wouldn't have it any other way.
#11
Me & my girl were in bed just chillin. She was reading, I was watching tv & she looked at me & said “what’re you thinking about babe?”
I said “I wonder how many flavors of Gatorade there actually are.”
She just said nvm & kept reading.
#12
Yeah, I once said I wonder why Elmer Fudd is such a bad shot. And how does the coyote keep buying all that acme stuff instead of just spending the money on a meal. I guess that’s why the relationship didn’t last long.
#13
During a (seemingly) sweet and tender moment last night, I asked my boyfriend what he was thinking about and he said “how devastating Wookiees would be in a medieval setting.”
Penguin Panda Pop 2 days ago
'Wookies In a Medieval Setting' will be a show on Disney Plus about 12 months from now. Gotta milk that cash cow.
#14
A few days ago my boyfriend was staring off so I was like “are you ok?” “Babe?” “Are you mad??”
This man snaps out of it and goes “huh..wut? Sorry I was looking at that squirrel..look at him living his life..I wonder if he has any responsibilities“
Bruh what??
#15
When asked what I was thinking, I said I wonder how much water is in the Pacific Ocean.
#16
About 20 years ago we talked about getting married. He said he was going to propose at some point so I was waiting.
After a couple times of wondering when and how it would happen, we were traveling together.
We ended up at the Arch in St. Louis. We were wandering through the park around sunset and he started glancing around a little nervous. Then he looked at me intently and I thought "oh wow this is it."
Then he said, "I'll be right back, I gotta [pee] and I can't find an outhouse."
#17
I just asked my husband of 3 children last night, "What was the greatest day of your life?" He was really thinking hard and I said "You don't have to choose between the kids births" and he said "Yeah that too, but I can't lie when the Eagles won the Superbowl 7 years back that was such a great day." REALLY!
JayhawkJoey 2 days ago
I received a proposal on the night of the NCAA National Basketball championship. I said yes followed by, "But you know I still need to watch that game."
#18
Went on a walk with my gf and she asked what I was thinking about so intently so I had to tell her “right foot, left foot, right foot, left foot”
#19
My wife asked me yesterday what I was thinking and I answered "Ace Ventura". No joke
AG 2 days ago
Ace fighting the Eagle at the end had me pissing myself. I'll probably replayed that part about 20-30 times and just kept pissing myself each time. The way that the mascots head moved when Ace was hitting him had the tears flowing and my stomach hurting... That really is a fun movie.
#20
We went to see Gladiator 2 recently. After the movie I was sitting thinking and my wife asked what could possibly be on my mind as I looked very serious. I replied, “how the hell did they get great white sharks into the coliseum??”
#21
I once asked a BF what he was thinking. The answer- 'Nothing, I was just singing a song in my head.'
Was 20 years ago, I'm still trying to decide if he was stupid or a genius.
#22
I asked my husband what he was thinking one night laying in bed. He was staring up at the ceiling deep in thought. He said "I'm thinking about no cornices vs cornices"
#23
My partner and I both just go with the last thought.
Me (at 10pm): I was just wondering why the sparrows stick around when I fill the birdfeeder, but the mourning doves leave for at least an hour before coming back to eat.
Him: What if I made t-shirts with our cat as the star on old skool rap album covers? Do you think anyone else would want them?
Previous thoughts that led to those comments would be a nightmare to untangle.
#24
Not quite the same but I still laugh at this glimpse into whatever’s going on (or not going on!) in my hubbys brain sometimes. We were watching a movie together and he asked me “Hey, is that the actor from that Jesus movie we watched?” And I said “Which Jesus movie?” And he said “The Jesus Christ movie”
#25
Once, I was imagining that all humans had been wiped out and I was following, with my mind's eye, a pack of dogs as they learned to fend for themselves. Just as I got to the part where they encountered a wolf for the first time, I hear, "what are you thinking?"
I said, "nothing."
"I know you're thinking about something, I can tell."
#26
Some time ago on a hike a guy stopped, looked in my eyes, hugged me and said 'today is 6 months we've known each other' to what I replied 's**t, is it 5th today? The salmon in my fridge goes out of date'. What was indeed true, I remember I had to cook it by 5th.
#28
After fifteen minutes of silence she said "talk to me" and I said "it's gonna be 4 months til the karate kid movie, you wanna see it?"
"If I'm still here"
#29
I wonder if I could start my own business selling sand from the beach.
CanadianDimes 2 days ago
There are people who sell air in jars from various places in the world (e.g., the Rockies) so why not?
#30
My ex wife used to ask me what I was thinking alllllllllllllll the time, and I would say nothing, I'm not thinking of anything. She would keep asking me for over a year until I just said alright you want to know what I'm thinking? 'm thinking who would win between the white queen professor in a chess match on the astral plane with the x-men as chess pieces. And she got mad saying that's what you're thinking? I said yeah, now you know why I said nothing all those times. We got into an argument about me not being open with my thoughts and when she said I always tell you what I'm thinking I asked her how many times did I ask you? She never asked me again for the last four ears we were together.
What do you think ?
Themoonprincess 2 days ago (edited)
I am a very imaginative person and I make up fantasy stories in my head. One time I was telling my boyfriend about the cheesy romantic story of a boy who could see this ghost girl and talk to her. He asked for details and I said only he could see her and my bf goes like " I have to say something". Me ( hoping for something romantic with starry eyes): What is it? Him: Bet she's handy during card games.
Janissary35680 2 days ago (edited)
"One night a wife found her husband standing over their baby's crib. Silently she watched him. As he stood looking down at the sleeping infant, she saw on his face a mixture of emotions: disbelief, doubt, delight, amazement, enchantment, skepticism. Touched by this unusual display and the deep emotions it aroused, with eyes glistening she slipped her arm around her husband. "A penny for your thoughts," she said tenderly. "It's amazing!" he replied. "I just can't see how anybody can make a crib like that and sell it for only $49.99.""
AK 1 day ago
And then they dropped to the floor and crawled out of the room to avoid the waking infant seeing them and demanding to be fed (speaking from experience).
Load More Replies... Themoonprincess 2 days ago (edited)
I am a very imaginative person and I make up fantasy stories in my head. One time I was telling my boyfriend about the cheesy romantic story of a boy who could see this ghost girl and talk to her. He asked for details and I said only he could see her and my bf goes like " I have to say something". Me ( hoping for something romantic with starry eyes): What is it? Him: Bet she's handy during card games.
Janissary35680 2 days ago (edited)
"One night a wife found her husband standing over their baby's crib. Silently she watched him. As he stood looking down at the sleeping infant, she saw on his face a mixture of emotions: disbelief, doubt, delight, amazement, enchantment, skepticism. Touched by this unusual display and the deep emotions it aroused, with eyes glistening she slipped her arm around her husband. "A penny for your thoughts," she said tenderly. "It's amazing!" he replied. "I just can't see how anybody can make a crib like that and sell it for only $49.99.""
AK 1 day ago
And then they dropped to the floor and crawled out of the room to avoid the waking infant seeing them and demanding to be fed (speaking from experience).
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