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Woman Shares Things That Are OK And Not OK To Say To Other Women That Live Different Lives
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Woman Shares Things That Are OK And Not OK To Say To Other Women That Live Different Lives

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Women often find themselves in lose-lose situations when it comes to living the lifestyle they want. Those who are more outspoken about their sexuality or are less conservative will get called derogatory terms and told to cover up; on the other side of the spectrum women who are more conservative will be called ‘prudes.’

Writer delafro_ took to Twitter to speak on this issue, addressing women on how they speak to one another. Misogyny abounds among men, but there is something even more distressing about women putting each other down. In her thread, she tackled how we can express our lifestyle choices without belittling others, and it is a must read.

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    Writer delafro_ took to Twitter to address how women belittle each other for their lifestyle choices

    Image credits: delafro_

    Image credits: delafro_

    She explained that you can live your life however you want without putting down others who don’t make the same choices

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    Image credits: delafro_

    And provided examples on the ‘ok’ and ‘not ok’ ways to speak to each other

    Image credits: delafro_

    Image credits: delafro_

    Image credits: delafro_

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    Image credits: delafro_

    At the end she made it clear that the same went for both sides of the lifestyle spectrum

    Image credits: delafro_

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    Image credits: delafro_

    Image credits: delafro_

    Image credits: delafro_

    Image credits: delafro_

    Meredith Fuller author of Working with Bitches and vocational psychologist identified three main reasons women are nasty to other women: “Because they project their unwanted parts onto the other women — especially their fear, envy, jealousy, suspicion, resentment, rage, anxiety, or lack of self-esteem and confidence; Because they can get away with it — as a sport, fun, panacea to boredom, delight in spite, or because their lack of curiosity/tolerance of difference suggests they probably don’t like people anyway; Because they don’t have the interpersonal and intrapersonal communication skills to recognize or alter their behavior.”

    Most of the people in the comments stood behind her powerful message

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    Joyce Benenson spent thirty years researching competition between the sexes and concluded that evolution designed women to be more competitive than men. Due to a combination of social, psychological and biological factors, women hold a more fearsome survival instinct. Benenson explains that women must disguise these competitive strategies due to the system in which we operate, which is why they appear in less overt ways.

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    So how do women fight biology? Barbara Markway, a clinical psychologist, author and founder of The Self-Compassion Project, has these words of wisdom: ‘Don’t blame yourself. We are instinctively hard-wired for survival. The key is to pause before we act out of this mode.’

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    Ilona Baliūnaitė

    Ilona Baliūnaitė

    Author, BoredPanda staff

    Read more »

    I'm a Visual Editor at Bored Panda since 2017. I've searched through a multitude of images to create over 2000 diverse posts on a wide range of topics. I love memes, funny, and cute stuff, but I'm also into social issues topics. Despite my background in communication, my heart belongs to visual media, especially photography. When I'm not at my desk, you're likely to find me in the streets with my camera, checking out cool exhibitions, watching a movie at the cinema or just chilling with a coffee in a cozy place

    Read less »
    Ilona Baliūnaitė

    Ilona Baliūnaitė

    Author, BoredPanda staff

    I'm a Visual Editor at Bored Panda since 2017. I've searched through a multitude of images to create over 2000 diverse posts on a wide range of topics. I love memes, funny, and cute stuff, but I'm also into social issues topics. Despite my background in communication, my heart belongs to visual media, especially photography. When I'm not at my desk, you're likely to find me in the streets with my camera, checking out cool exhibitions, watching a movie at the cinema or just chilling with a coffee in a cozy place

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    Carol Emory
    Community Member
    5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My only concern is not the women that cook and clean for their man or are conservative and cover up...do what you want. But I do have a problem with a woman whose desire to do so comes from a submissive lack of self esteem and that they set themselves up for abusive relationships. There's doing everything for your man because seeing him happy makes you happy. It's another thing to do everything for your man because seeing him happy is safer than him not being happy.

    Ivana
    Community Member
    5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This issue is really highlighted when working with women in underdeveloped countries. There are often laws that prohibit women from owning land and the women agree with the laws. Laws and cultures really shape our ideas of what is right and what is wrong so when a culture you grow up in teaches you to belittle yourself or view yourself as less than, do we as the greater society accept that? Do we say it is fine if the women are willing or agree even if their reasoning is that was the way they were raised? On the other hand, there are also issues with belittling someone's culture because you don't agree with their ideas or values. The whole situation is sticky.

    Load More Replies...
    no
    Community Member
    5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Agreed, and I'm not sure why his comment was included as it really has nothing to do with the article. Maybe BP thought "it's not cringey enough, let's throw in something that'll p**s people off"

    Load More Replies...
    Mike Crow
    Community Member
    5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Live and let live. Do not dictate your believes on others, but don’t take others doing it to you.

    Load More Comments
    Carol Emory
    Community Member
    5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My only concern is not the women that cook and clean for their man or are conservative and cover up...do what you want. But I do have a problem with a woman whose desire to do so comes from a submissive lack of self esteem and that they set themselves up for abusive relationships. There's doing everything for your man because seeing him happy makes you happy. It's another thing to do everything for your man because seeing him happy is safer than him not being happy.

    Ivana
    Community Member
    5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This issue is really highlighted when working with women in underdeveloped countries. There are often laws that prohibit women from owning land and the women agree with the laws. Laws and cultures really shape our ideas of what is right and what is wrong so when a culture you grow up in teaches you to belittle yourself or view yourself as less than, do we as the greater society accept that? Do we say it is fine if the women are willing or agree even if their reasoning is that was the way they were raised? On the other hand, there are also issues with belittling someone's culture because you don't agree with their ideas or values. The whole situation is sticky.

    Load More Replies...
    no
    Community Member
    5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Agreed, and I'm not sure why his comment was included as it really has nothing to do with the article. Maybe BP thought "it's not cringey enough, let's throw in something that'll p**s people off"

    Load More Replies...
    Mike Crow
    Community Member
    5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Live and let live. Do not dictate your believes on others, but don’t take others doing it to you.

    Load More Comments
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