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30 Pills That Are Hard To Swallow, But These Folks Finally Accepted It And Shared Their Wisdom With Others
If you think accepting something is easy, ha, you are greatly mistaken, my friend.
Accepting an apology is never easy. No, it doesn't become any easier if you're a people-pleaser either. Accepting thank-you gifts is not always easy. Accepting things promised in a will is not easy. Heck, it's not even easy to accept a friend request on Facebook sometimes. Everything is very situational, and even that is hard to accept.
Well, folks on Reddit have been bold enough to go where most don't even try, and that is down the road of acceptance, and have shared some of their bits (or pieces, or pearls, or call it whatever arbitrary noun you'd like) of wisdom in response to an AskReddit question what have you FINALLY accepted?
Scroll down to read the best of the best answers found in the online thread, and why not share some of your hard-to-swallow pills in the comment section below! Oh, and upvote, enjoy, and be sure to share this list with those who need to hear it, because sharing is caring, and accept it as a fact that you gotta share everything we do now.
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#1
I don't have to keep tolerating toxic people just because they are my family.
Lakota Wolf 3 years ago (edited)
I had to live an "extra" 20 years of my life with my mother, who has been physically, emotionally, verbally, and mentally abusive to me since I was 5-6 years old. My older sister is a mini version of my mother (and in some ways is worse; my sister is more physically abusive.) Why, you ask? Because my dad, who was a good father and whom I loved, had an accident when I was 18. He was catastrophically brain damaged and needed 24/7 care. We took care of him at home. I never moved out. I stayed for my dad, whom I would never have left in the care of my mother and sister alone (my mom was abusive towards my dad through my whole life, too). My dad died last year and I gtfo that house as fast as I could - and I took my dad with me (his ashes.) :) My mom didn't want them. She still lies that my dad is alive so she can get "oh you poor thing" pity-points!
Autistic McWolferson the Forth 3 years ago
You will probably take this the wrong way but I have to say it because it needs to be said. *deep breath* "I hope your mom ends up in an old folks home someday and gets almost no visitation." There I said it. And I mean it.
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GirlFriday 3 years ago
I have a cousin who is a horrible, toxic person. I have cut him almost completely out of my life and only see him when I am forced to, and even then I don't speak to him, most recently was at my grandmother's funeral. He has been diagnosed with cancer and is now calling several members of the family that he has alienated over the years to "say what he has to say." My brothers told me that the calls are full of venom and hate and him reliving "wrongs" to him. Cousin has attempted to call me about four times and even called my mother to tell that I am not answering the phone. Here is the thing, I no longer care. He can die and I will live my life as always. I don't have to talk to him. PERIOD. I am fine with that.
Michelle C 3 years ago
Yep. I would consider my dad toxic and I intend to cut communication with him completely once his elderly mother passes away. I tolerate him- but barely- for her sake presently.
Calvin Girvin 3 years ago
My toxic father has been dead for years, but unfortunately he still lives on in my mind. I haven't yet learned to do anything about that, and I am 75 years old. Still trying!
Channon Doughty 3 years ago
Two different medical professionals told me that this week. Apparently, I should just continue to avoid my relative who stirs up drama every few years. Her worst ever gave my mother Broken Heart Syndrome, aka Stress cardiomyopathy, aka Takotsubo cardiomyopathy
DennyS (denzoren) 3 years ago
#YES. I've cut out soooo much family in the years gone by. So much toxicity.
RELATED:
#2
Most people are stupid, and there's no way to change that.
Luke Branwen 3 years ago
"Imagine how stupid an average person is, and keep in mind half of people are even worse."
Hypoxia Smurf 3 years ago
I'd planned to post that George Carlin line but you're much faster! And smarter! ;)
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Autistic McWolferson the Forth 3 years ago
To be fair to these stupid people, a huge number of them are way more ignorant than stupid. Like people who've never met an african american and unironically talk about an entire race of people like they're not even human. Reason: "Never met one." We are f*****g pathetic as a species.
Hypoxia Smurf 3 years ago
If "ignorance of the law is no excuse", how does ignorance of reality rate?
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Yukon Charlie 3 years ago
The dumbest people often consider themselves to be smarter that their peers, as show by this snide comment thread.
Jo Slatermill 3 years ago
This is so true. but if you dare say it out loud you always hear the word "opinion". it's their opinion the earth is flat....
Glass Ghost 3 years ago
I work at a zoo. Stupid becomes way worse in big groups. It's crazy what I've seen and how people act so entitled and lazy in public.
#3
There is no point in arguing with random people on internet, it's a waste of time and energy.
The leech 3 years ago
I disagree. I got a bully to stop harrasing certain youtubers. I got a woman to admit she was a racist. And I've had a few "age doesn't matter" channels taken down. Sometimes arguing is fine.
Craig Boddys 3 years ago
I think youre the random internet person the post is talking about.
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Reynard 3 years ago
I don't debate to change the mind of whom I'm debating, I do it in case there is anyone on the fence who may be susceptible to illogical, and false information; to sway those people. I also do it to expose people who are already on my side to possible ways of defending our position. Pro tip: study up on things lie logical fallacies and cognitive biases. When you understand these things, you can more easily call your opponent out on fallacial and faulty reasoning, but more importantly, it helps you hone your arguments to make sure that you aren't committing these errors in reasoning as well.
bob van wijk 3 years ago
I liked to have a discussion with someone with a totally different viewpoint and there was 1 person I met in all these years on forums who liked that too and just stayed polite and friendly and I just listened to him, he listened to me. Oh hey that's a good point you make. I was wrong there. And it was fabulous and the rest just always wanted to fight and get nasty and refuse to even listen, so I left all those forums. Tiresome. That guy left too. There were more ppl who just came there to have a normal discussion. It always got ruined and they all left.
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Cara G 3 years ago (edited)
I strongly disagree with this one. Maybe not so much arguing but civil debate has the potential the bring us closer to important truths and understanding each other better. Keeping an open mind also leaves room for us to grow, learn, and be better people. I've had my mind changed by hearing others on the internet and on more than one occasion I helped people see the flaws in so-called pro-life ideology. Sometimes it's 100% worth the time and energy. Plus, you never know who else is reading it.
Aunt Riarch 3 years ago
These bloody downvote goblins are beginning to get on my pip, have an upvote
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Ruth Hempsey 3 years ago (edited)
Not always. You don't sit back and watch if someone is being attacked, or bad info is being spread about. Isn't it a duty to help someone if you think it's needed, or correct wrong information if you know it could hurt people?
Michelle Vaughan 3 years ago
Generally, yes. However, getting a right-wing, misinformation-spreading transphobe's social media page taken down (and losing her 800 followers & her pics). . was pretty satisfying. Her new page somehow gets "shadowbanned" a lot. . . almost like someone's reporting her on a daily basis for similar stuff?
Falcon on Dizzy 3 years ago
*argues with someone about if dogs or cats are better, but we both know that dogs and cats are equally cute*
#4
Treating people fairly doesn’t mean you will get treated fairly back. Doesn’t mean you shouldn’t, but never expect it back.
Cory Kent 3 years ago
Treating people fairly should not be done so you get anything back. Treat people not based on how they are, treat people the way YOU are. You're a good person. You're a fair person. Show it.
Alexander Smith 3 years ago (edited)
And if they keep being unfair take them out on a picnic have a nice chat on the dock and as you get up to leave...shove them in the lake.
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Max M 3 years ago
I help people, but I help them for myself. I feel good, helping people. I never expect them to do anythong for me, because i know i can only trust myself
Yay Pandas! 3 years ago
You are saving up good karma for yourself, keep on!
Load More Replies... Ruth Hempsey 3 years ago
Treat people the way you hope to be treated yourself. Because that's kindness.
Susie Elle 3 years ago
Doing something to be able to expect something in return, and expecting to be treated fairly (which I'll translate here as being treated respectfully) are two separate things. I believe you can certainly expect being treated fairly. It's just that what "being treated fairly" means differs per person.
Mary Elliott 3 years ago
You should do the right thing because it's the right thing to do, not because you expect to get anything in return.
Michelle Suhar 1 year ago
I've learned the hard way to limit what info about my life that I tell people. You never know who is judging you and planning to use your info against you in some sort of way, like bullying. Someone told me years ago, "don't give people stones from your own pockets, they'll throw them at ya."
MygrandsonscallmeNia 3 years ago
I can't stand people that think, the world owes them everything, and they don't have to give back.
Josh Gilland 3 years ago
I operate on a reflective golden rule. I'll treat you how I'd like to be treated/general social niceties. Once I notice you regularly don't follow those (we all have bad days) I'll treat you neutrally. Won't be a d**k for no reason but wont go out my way for you or be used or anything.
#5
That two people can see the same thing and experience completely different feelings.
OmBoyGanesh 3 years ago
I’m gonna use this post as a PSA: I’m not sure who is new here to BP, but downvoting is for inappropriate comments, NOT differences of opinion or unpopular comments. That’s what discourse is for. When you downvote people you’re saying they were inappropriate not disagreeable. BP is a user-regulated site. Ten downvotes is an automatic temporary suspension. Three temp bans or 30 downvotes causes a permanent ban. Please use your voice to discuss & debate comments you disagree with. Only downvote for users who are being inappropriate and/or offensive to most.
Wondering Alice 3 years ago
Would be nice if the system just had a report option so downvoting someone didn't mean suspension.
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Jackie Warner 3 years ago
A friend of mine who retired as chief detective inspector for the county (I'm not name dropping, just saying he knows what he's talking about) says that when they were interviewing suspects, if statements differed (one had seen one man there dressed in blue, one had seen 2 men, etc) that was ok but if every person they interviewed parroted the same story, that was a massive red flag.
Joe San Miguel 3 years ago
My wife and I both love art and go to many galleries through out the year. We may like the same painting or piece of art, but odds are we will like it for different reasons. I am slightly colour blind and so do not see the colours in a painting the same way she does. But we then discuss the reasons we each like or dislike a particular piece of art.
Mihai Mara 3 years ago
Take for example the famous dress that was blue/black, that other people saw white/golden
Rachel Smith 3 years ago
My husband still has a hard time figuring this out. Also that just in general we experience life differently. His mood goes through highs and lows in a day. I on the other hand experience little emotional difference throughout a week (is that called numbness?) I'm okay most of the time with small upticks of happiness and occasional anger or anxiety
#6
The people that have gone nuts over the last 6 years are not going to just “come to their senses” one day. They will never admit that they were lied to and conned and there is no perfect combination of words that will lead them to that conclusion.
M O'Connell 3 years ago
"The only thing more difficult than getting someone to fall for a scam is convincing someone that they've fallen for one."
Reynard 3 years ago
The quote is actually, "it's easier to fool people than to convince them that they have been fooled", and it's often attributed to Mark Twain - although there is no evidence that he ever said that. It's still profound and largely true.
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Katie Lutesinger 3 years ago
I suspect for a lot of them the sunk cost fallacy has come into play. It's easier to double down than admit you threw so much energy into supporting something you shouldn't have.
Robert B 3 years ago
I have some bad news for you all. People were already nuts, all our systems are corrupt/about to collapse, no one knows what is going on or what to do next. Quite frankly I’m surprised that I’m even here to be surprised. Sometimes you just have to throw your hands up and yell “WWWEEEEEEE!” And the roller coaster takes another dive.
Tunk 3 years ago
In a nutshell! It is all corrupt and collapsing in front of our very eyes and all are clueless. Hold on everybody....weeeeeeee........!
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Dick Keith 3 years ago
So hilarious watching the self righteous comments that they don't realize are proving the quote. They could be shown concrete proof they were lied to constantly by the same people about the same things but they keep on hating anyone who points it out. I'm not talking about a universal 'both sides are awful" comment either. Allegory of the Cave in action all day every day.
Michelle Smith 3 years ago
I am so worried if, given the opportunity, they will fall for it again.
Cory Kent 3 years ago
I fell for a scam recently. My Dad's email was hacked (for like the 5th time), and I got an email that my Dad wanted to send some money to a friend who was in the hospital on her birthday, and he was having trouble with his bank for some reason, but he'd pay me back in a couple of days. My Dad had helped me so many times in my life I was just so excited to help him now that I sent the money. Actually it was a gift card but whatever. After it was over, my Dad's only message to me was next time be more careful. You're the one whose email was hacked. Why don't you be more careful.
#7
There will always be someone that doesn’t like you, no matter what, even if you do everything right, they’ll always think you did it wrong. So don’t try to please everyone and relax.
Lakota Wolf 3 years ago
It's just difficult when the people who don't like you and always think you did something wrong are your closest family members. I'd love to just relax, but it's gonna take a lot more therapy to get to that point ;p
Gabby M 3 years ago
Then leave your family, if/when you can. That's what I did and it's painful but now I have the mental capacity and emotional desire to love myself.
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Melissa Ramos 3 years ago
"You could be the ripest, juiciest peach in the world and there's still going to be people who don't like peaches". My fave quote in this regard.
Yodelis Sosa 3 years ago
I Have Told Myself This Regarding My Family. I Have No One Else And Was Raised Differently Due To Birth Defects. I Am So Different From Mom And Sister And Everyone Around Me. Family Constantly Tells Me I'm Wrong. I've Realized And Admitted That They Are Both Very Abusive. I HAVE Asked Myself The Question That If Everyone Claims I Am Wrong, Then I Guess I AM Wrong....?? NO!! That Is NOT True!! They Are Just Abusive And Only Ever Judge Me And Berate Me!! I Have Started To Validate My Own Feelings And Justify My Actions. I Can't Always Be Wrong. They Just Disagree And Believe Differently. I Am Still New To Acknowledging Myself. I Need To Learn To Trust Myself, My Decisions, And My Actions. ✨ I Apologize If My Writing With Capital Letters Inconveniences Anyone. I Suffer From OCD. ✨ ....
Ohio Turkey 3 years ago
My brain has been injured a lot. I understand having to write things differently. You deserve peace and understanding and support. ✨
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Lyne Smith 3 years ago
Truer words were never spoken. It took me until I was 25 to learn this and the past 40 years have been tremendously happier!
Theresa McCreary 3 years ago
I have read this several times and it has really stuck with me. It is none of your business what other people think of you.
Channon Doughty 3 years ago
Yes! This is especially true for those of us "on the spectrum". A certain portion of "neuro-typicals" have an immediate, negative visceral reaction to autistic people. They 🤯🚿🤣
Channon Doughty 3 years ago
Stray fingers .... Grrr .... They cannot help it and neither can we.
Load More Replies... Thatkamloopsguy 3 years ago
You were not put on this earth for everyone to like. The sooner you realize this the happier you life is going to be.
#8
It’s better to be the best version of one’s self, than trying to impress everyone around you.
Headless Roach 3 years ago
The trouble is when your very best is not even good enough for you.
Whitney Anderson 3 years ago
Yep I tried to impress and be in the popular group in middle school and that led me to some very dark places in my life. I'm now 16 in 11th grade and not trying to impress everyone and now I have much better friends and am in a much better place mentally.
MygrandsonscallmeNia 3 years ago
Just be yourself, and you, do you. Most people are going to judge you for something no matter what. You can't please everyone, and if you try; you will become a hot mess. Some people just don't care how much you try to make them happy. They will always want more...
#9
I am genuinely nowhere as smart as I thought I was.
Lakota Wolf 3 years ago (edited)
I was told from a young age that I was a "genius"; my mom had my IQ tested when I was a small child and it was something like 142. She pushed me into "gifted and talented education" classes and programs in school and made me take the GED test when I was 14. I started college at 14. I burned out BIG-TIME after two years, dropped out, etc. Never got a BA; the best I have is an AA degree. I also am horrible at communicating/making friends as I did not have a normal upbringing/school experience. I've also probably got some form of ADHD and/or autism, judging by my behaviors/habits/lack of ability to focus/etc. But no, my mom wanted to be able to tell people her daughter was a "genius" and didn't care one bit about how all of that affected me.
Arthur Waite 3 years ago
Wow! It's amazing to see my own life story coming from someone else! Only major difference is the gender. Parents: Don't tell your kids they're Smart! Praise them for working hard instead.
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Bunzilla 3 years ago
I've heard it said that when you're smarter, you're aware of the fact that you don't know everything. It's truly ignorant people who think they know everything. Nobody knows everything or is an expert on everything. Which is how people with degrees can make really silly mistakes; all or most of their knowledge is focused in one area.
Jude Corrigan 3 years ago
Being smart or being told that you have great potential can be a very heavy burden.
Grace Noyes 3 years ago
On a side note, I'm stumped as to a lot of these accompanying photo choices.
Headless Roach 3 years ago
Pity I only have one upvote to give, the illustration of the statement deserves a hundred.
Sarah Monk 3 years ago
If you’ve realised that then I would surmise you are as clever as you thought!
Shana Mustafa 3 years ago
I've been told I was quite smart as a child,not a genius or anything, just above average. I was interested in technology and computer when I was young, but my parents wanted me to be a doctor or a teacher, to follow my parent's job. I was pushed to get into classes related to those things, instead of what I prefer to. Needless to say, I am neither a teacher or doctor, and I can no longer keep up with technology these days...
#10
That life is unfair and you just have to continue having the will to live and make the most out of what you've got.
Agnes Jekyll 3 years ago
My grandfather wrote in my mother's autograph book when she was a child, "life is not being dealt a winning hand but playing a poor hand well"
Wackford Squeers 3 years ago
If you grind the universe to the finest powder and sieve that powder through the finest sieve, you will find not one atom of justice.
Elaine Morinelli 3 years ago
That's why it's good to have a Plan B and even a Plan C. I'm 73 and it's worked for me.
Cassi Lyris 3 years ago
Life's a b*tch, and then you die. Might as well have some fun on the way down.
Elaine Morinelli 3 years ago
Agnes Jekyl: I've heard it that you can't change the cards you're dealt but you can change the game so you hold a winning hand. That's how James T. Kirk won the impossible scenario of Kibiashi Maru when he was in the academy. Works for me.
Carpe Noctem 3 years ago
My great aunt always said that 'fair' is where they judge pickles and pigs.She was right.
Mary Elliott 3 years ago
Even worse, life is incredibly annoying and it only gets more annoying the older you get.
#11
That I don’t have to justify my decisions to people. It it makes me happy and has a purpose for my life that’s good enough for me.
OmBoyGanesh 3 years ago (edited)
I’d specifically add “my personal decisions,” as part of healthy relationships is accountability, communication and understanding. The decisions I make that affect only me are nobody’s business and I owe no one justification. When my choices affect or influence others, I often times owe them some reasoning.
J 3 years ago
Fair enough. I imagine that being a jackwagon to people would cause you to be unhappy.
Load More Replies... Jon Steensen 3 years ago
Everything to a limit. If you shoot the neighbor because you'd be happier without him in your life, that one might be a bit hard to justify. Stating that: "It makes me happy, so it is therefore the most important", can lead to a lot of toxic behavior.
Taylor Carroll 3 years ago
Except if your choices negatively affect others. Like not wearing a mask or getting vaccinated against COVID.
Two_rolling_black_eyes 3 years ago (edited)
This is how you get a planet dying from climate change, Brexit, and Putin invading other countries because as long as it makes me happy, my actions are justified.
Dawnieangel76 3 years ago
I'm 46 and I still love and celebrate Halloween as much as a child would.
Justin Trouble 3 years ago
The best thing that ever happened to me was when I stopped giving a f#(k about anyone's opinion.
#12
When something is wrong, it is not always my fault.
Calvin Girvin 3 years ago
I understand. My ex-wife blamed me for everything, including the Korean war.
Bouche Clay 3 years ago
My kitten always blames me. She lost her favorite mousie? My fault. The window is too far from the bed? My fault. She can't jump high enough to catch the fly? My fault. She won't get out of the tub when I tell her three times to get out, and she ends up with wet paws? My fault. My sock unfolds itself, climbs out of the drawer, and attacks her? My fault.
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MygrandsonscallmeNia 3 years ago
Gaslighters... They try to make you feel like: what you heard, them say, and what they did, didn't happen.That you're delusional... Even though, you Know what you heard, and seen was real. Why do people have to do this? My daughter (33), she lives with me, and she is constantly doing this. But, I know better!
#13
Most people, even (especially) those in charge, have no idea what the f**k they're doing most of the time.
James016 3 years ago
That’s because they don’t actually do any of the daily work of the people they are managing.
SCP 4666 3 years ago
Therefore it should say 'they have no idea what the managed people are doing'
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Christoph 3 years ago
or they have very different objectives than the end contributor and they are actually good at their job according to the people they answer to AND NOT ME! THIS one took me a long time and still makes me mad.
Headless Roach 3 years ago
In any hierarchy, each individual rises to his own level of incompetence, and then remains there.
Yssa Stewart-Severson 3 years ago
My boss so much. It's frustrating because we have to clean up after her every time she thinks she knows things and tries to "fix" something or "help". She's the prime example of having a lot of experience and education in something doesn't mean you'll be a good director/manager/supervisor.
Theresa McCreary 3 years ago
I read decades ago that a good manager never asks it's employees to do anything they themselves have not done.
Lorrie Rothstein 3 years ago
Absolutely true. You can go to so many people that work in a place and they will have no clue
Celtic Pirate Queen 3 years ago
OMG - I had a company owner asking for a certain accounting report. The software parameters didn't allow for the particular format he wanted, so I told him it COULD be done, but I'd have to export the data into Excel and create the report that way. He lost his sh*t. Basically screaming at me that OF COURSE the program had that function. Now, I'm certified in 13 different accounting software systems and NONE of them can produce the report he wanted. He keeps yelling at me that it CAN. Finally I just shoved myself away from the desk, pointed to my chair and said, "Okay, Genius. Show me". It took him calling our CPA (a man, btw) to confirm the software doesn't have the parameters to create that report. Not even an apology.
#14
Not all cats are cu*ts.
Headless Roach 3 years ago
And where is Bouche Clay to support the cause?
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WindySwede 3 years ago
Just read their body language. Makes it a hole lot easier! Then learn when not to pet them. But they are small and they have to take care of them selves, therefor more watchful than dogs. Or just an indoor cat that is bored because you do not stimulate there environment with toys, scratch board, cuddling and playtime etc.
Channon Doughty 3 years ago
And for all that is fuzzy, don't treat them as you'd treat a dog. They are polar opposites in many ways!
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Channon Doughty 3 years ago
Most of the time, if a cat is a jerk, you or someone its life, made it that way. Period.
Michelle C 3 years ago
I miss my childhood cat terribly and she was one of the best pets I ever had! I still miss her terribly almost 20 years after her passing and I always will until I see her again in Heaven!
Channon Doughty 3 years ago
Me too. I have 3 now, with whom I cannot wait to be reunited.
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Justin Kantner 3 years ago (edited)
If they are, chances are pretty darn high that you misunderstood them. Most clips on Facebook, tiktok, instagram etc of cats often show clear sign of what they are trying to say, if you actually read up on cat behaviour. Please do if you got a cat. You won't regret it!
#15
Some people are just monsters. There is no redemption.
Lakota Wolf 3 years ago
::yells across her house:: "HEY MOM, SOMEONE POSTED ON THE INTERNET TALKING ABOUT YOU!"
Randolph Croft 3 years ago
The number of Narcissists, Malignant Pesonalities, people with severe pathologies, has pretty much stayed the same for millennia. Now, however, they have a hundred platforms to spew their toxicity.
Pamela Blue 3 years ago
There is always the possibility of redemption (well, for 99.9999% of people anyway). The psychopaths/serial killers are the 0.0001% for whom redemption is impossible.
crazy_stupid 3 years ago
I disagree. Everyone has the ability to change the way they are and redeem themselves. If we don't believe that is possible, then there is no hope.
MygrandsonscallmeNia 3 years ago
I e had two in my life, monsters. My mom, and my oldest grandsons baby daddy. My mom, is burning in hell like she's supposed to, and I'm just waiting for baby daddies turn! He hurt both of my grandsons, spanking them. My daughter, had to separate me from him, because I was going to kill him.
#16
Being mad never solved any of my problems but sure caused me a few.
Michelle C 3 years ago
Getting angry about something, depending on what that thing is, is fine by itself. How one handles anger in a given situation may or may not be.
mentaLilly 3 years ago
That hit more than the actual post... - it's still great, though!.. :)
Load More Replies... Two_rolling_black_eyes 3 years ago
Anger shows you care and if used correctly, it ends injustice. MLK didn't wake up and randomly decide to lash out at the world. He took his anger and used it productively to fix something so his children's lives would be better.
Wackford Squeers 3 years ago
That's like that great line from The Good Place - "Back in Jacksonville whenever I had a problem I threw a Molotov cocktail at it, and instantly, I had a *new* problem."
Justin Kantner 3 years ago (edited)
My dad and me talked about this when i was a teenager. He said that he discovered that most oftenly, yelling is a obvious sign that the person is loosing control and getting desperate, and hence have automatically lost the fight. So don't yell, breathe and be in control of your emotions and thoughts. Often the final outcome will be much better. And try to show understanding/compassion, even if you're mad. Sometimes people are angry because they wanna be heard. If you hear them out, they might calm down quite a bit and you can talk things out normally.
tuzdayschild 3 years ago
I got angry instead of afraid and finally stood up to a bully who never bothered me again.
John Anderson 3 years ago
Getting mad or angry is natural. Staying angry is the problem. Allowing someone or something to occupy a place in your head is detrimental to your health, mentally and physically. Let it go so they don't have that control over you.
Max M 3 years ago
When i lose my temper, i break stuff sometimes, and then i just hate myself for breaking stuff i need to fix and hate that i lost my temper
Buren 3 years ago (edited)
Me too, or I would hurt my hand for punching walls but I hardly do it anymore before my dog doesn't let me. He would sit on my lap to calm me down. My angel on earth.
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Twolf Blue 3 years ago
Being mad was eating me up, but getting mad and doing something about it is what gave me any progression in life.
#17
That it’s not worth your time or energy worrying about thing’s you cannot control.
OmBoyGanesh 3 years ago (edited)
Well, you can plan for them and hopefully create a desired outcome. Just because I can’t control Mother Nature doesn’t mean I don’t worry about specific, very likely natural disasters or destructive weather. I worry a little and use a fair amount of energy to plan a lot. - If it’s something that I cannot influence change or outcome, only then do I not give it my time and energy.
Pamela Blue 3 years ago
They invented coffee for things you can control, and wine for the things you can't.
Do-nut touch da donut 3 years ago
Like it goes "give me the serinity to accept the things i cannot change, the courage to change the things i can, and wisdom to know the difference"
Powerful Musk Ox 3 years ago
I'm in recovery and I can honestly say that this tidbit is the most valuable thing I have gained from my experience.
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Ría ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ she/her 3 years ago
This is what I'm currently discussing with my psychologist, most of my problems are either trauma from family and childhood or constant worrying about what the future holds for me. Starting to realize I can't control the future has helped me so much 🥲
Cee Sparrow 3 years ago
This should be number 1. Once you figure this out, you can really get on living the life you deserve.
Mary Elliott 3 years ago
The only way to keep the bad things away is to worry about them. As soon as you stop worrying about them, that's when they'll jump out and bite you in the a*s. They're just waiting for you to drop your guard.
#18
That I have to learn on my own because school won't teach me important things.
Carole G. 3 years ago
🤣 In mathematics classes they would tell my kids "show your work, you're not going to have a calculator in your pocket all the time" 🤣
N Miller 3 years ago (edited)
The reason given is silly. You should show your workings to demonstrate you understand how to get the answer. By the way, calculators can be wrong - depending on how they have been programmed (i.e. whether they are a standalone calculator or the app on a computer) can determine whether they use PEDMAS (or BODMAS according to your location) correctly. Making sure you understand *how* to get the answer is just as important as simply getting the right answer.
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Two_rolling_black_eyes 3 years ago
Qoutes like this irritate me. The purpose of an education isn't to be spoon fed a list of facts. The purpose of an education is to teach you the basic minimum so you know how to learn and problem solve for the rest of your life. Anyone who thinks at the age of 18 they know everything to need to survive in this world is in for disappointment. A successful student then uses those skills to become an expert in the things they care about and learns to trust others who spent their time becoming experts in things they don't have time to study. High school biology provides you the basics so you can have an adult conversation with your doctor about cancer and that same doctor learned enough about basic machines in science class to explain to you the noise their car is making so you can fix it.
Megan O'Neill 3 years ago
Yes, and that is fine. No need for people to always be whining about it.
Katiekat 3 years ago
Retired teacher here, and I get what you mean. Just remember teachers have mandates about what we teach, but an experienced teacher will try to bring in real-life lessons and problem-solving skills. Best times I ever had was teaching students about the importance of sleep; we did a freshman research paper on it. My seniors wrote problem-solving papers on real-life problems, and each class got to vote on one major issue they were concerned with, and they all did individual problem-solving papers, too. That's what makes teaching an art, is finding ways around the mandates while still incorporating them.
Mistletoe 3 years ago
Best teaching experience - teaching elementary students who were eager to learn new things, completed assignments (even homework!) studied outside of class on their own or with others, were able to procure something to write with ... Worst teaching experience- trying to teach high school 'students' who fooled around in class, played on their phones in class, threw things like food to others in class, did no work in class, did no homework for the class, did not bring books, paper, pens/pencils to class... My elementary students got so much out of school. Those high school 'students' really did get nothing out of school.
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Jessica J. 3 years ago
It depends on the school, I guess. Mine taught me a lot of what I needed to know.
Jessica J. 3 years ago
We don't all agree. I had a lot of great teachers...but, if you aren't willing to listen, you won't ever learn. I listened, and so I learned.
Load More Replies... Michelle C 3 years ago
I disagree. School can definitely teach important Academic concepts and life lessons. I do agree that formal schooling is not the only way to receive a well-rounded and sensible education, though.
t'pols gay tea 3 years ago
sameeeeee like aint no way theyre gonna teach me about time mechanics is tenth grade but if i read a caltec textbook im getting somewhere
#19
Not everyone is my friend.
Jode Mode 3 years ago
“Not everyone in your circle is in your corner.” -that quote hit me hard.
Load More Replies... AndThenICommented 3 years ago
Call me naive, and I’m aware of OPs sentiment, but it still bums me out. I tend to like most people and naturally try to see the good in people. In short, generally speaking, I do want to be everyone’s friend
#20
That no matter if I get my diet straight and get a good exercise and lifting routine in place, I’m not going to lose that 20lbs I gained over the summer until I look at the scale every day, track my progress, and take some g-d accountability.
Doing the work in your 40s is a lot different than doing it in your 20s.
Christoph 3 years ago
no one should weigh themselves every day except wight class athletes. It is counter intuitive. Weekly is best from all the research I have done. I wait longer. I DO share a food journal with two other friends.
BirFromHH 3 years ago
And how old are you? Like the OP said: it's different when you get older. And it may be different for different people as well. If yout Intuition helps you: good for you. If you need to reminded and measured daily: good as well. If you are just the same weight whenever you get arount to measuring once a year: seems you have no worries here. If you just ignore everything and buy new clothes once you don't fit in the old ones: Well, it's your life, but perhaps reflect on that "Intuition"?
Load More Replies... Mary Elliott 3 years ago
I lost 35 pounds in my 60's without doing anything but cutting out ultra-processed and sugar-added foods. Easy peasy.
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James Canning 3 years ago
Exercise has essentially no impact on weight loss. Eat fewer calories if you want to lose weight, regardless of age
Calvin Girvin 3 years ago
If you think you're forties are hard, wait until like me you are in your seventies.
Jeanne Tarver 3 years ago
I lost my pandemis weight and my sister got angry with me because she's still gaining weight. That is a sort of psychological pressure 😳
Lakota Wolf 3 years ago (edited)
I'm 40 now and I've discovered I just do not care that I am 5'5" and 150 lbs and technically "overweight" for my height XD struggled with 20+ years with a significant other who was big into exercise and diet etc. and I am just not into being forced/guilted/etc. into exercising/dieting/counting calories (I was allowed 1,280 a day and keeping track was SO stressful!) I'm happy with who I am and how I look!
MygrandsonscallmeNia 3 years ago
Mine, was at 50. I'm 58 now, and my body just refuses to listen!
Mary Elliott 3 years ago
Stop eating ultra-processed food and sugar-added food, especially soda pop. I guarantee you will lose weight without tracking your progress or looking at your scale. That's what I did, lost 35 pounds without really even trying.
Justin Kantner 3 years ago
How much did you weigh at the start tho? Depending on how unhealthy you were and how overweight you were - you may loose it simply because it's a shock for the body. It's also common to loose big amounts if you weigh let's say.. 300 pounds compared to if you are just little overweight, like 200 pounds. You will have a MUCH harder time to loose the weight, and stick to it if you started at 200 pounds. Either way, GREAT job on loosing 35 pounds! I'm sure it made a big change in your life regarding your general health. Just saying, sometimes it's not enough to do just that.
Load More Replies... #21
That being hungover for a day is not worth a few hours of fun the night before.
Justin 3 years ago
It really does. I only get the opportunity to unabashedly enjoy myself a few times a year. Those moments are precious and worth more to me than a day's hangover.
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El Dee 3 years ago
I woke up one morning and I felt strange. I couldn't put my finger on it, it was nothing 'bad' but it was 'different' I realised that I felt GOOD. I then realised that it was, for the first time in some years, I'd not been drinking the night before. I was so used to drinking heavily on a daily basis that I was used to feeling tired and dehydrated every morning. It took a while but I stopped completely after that..
Robert B 3 years ago
Dude, I completely get that. I remember one day after I got sober talking to my wife and I stopped and said something like “ are days really this long?”
Load More Replies... WindySwede 3 years ago
"That I don’t have to justify my decisions to people. It it makes me happy and has a purpose for my life that’s good enough for me." Drink responsible though!
J 3 years ago
If you disagree with this, I advise you to party it up like mad and have all the (reasonably safe) fun you can muster, before the day arrives when you think you coincidently also got the flu on top of a hangover and then realize that this is what hangovers will feel like for the rest of your life. Cheers! 🍻
Arliss Speace 3 years ago
At my age I don't get hang overs anymore but feel horrible for about THREE DAYS after a big drinking night out.
Load More Replies... Cee Sparrow 3 years ago
Just don't overdo it. You don't have to be wasted to have hours of fun.
El Jordo Mac 3 years ago
Learned this in my teens. I could still get drunk and have a good time. Just learned when to cut myself off before I went too far.
David Phillips 3 years ago
If you don't want a hangover, watch the quantity, but ALSO the quality. Good quality booze in moderation won't give you a hangover.
#22
I will never be good enough for my mom, and that’s okay.
Lakota Wolf 3 years ago
::gives hug:: You're good enough for us here on BP! :D
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Dina Anastasakos 3 years ago
Still get triggered by this but working on it. l find limiting contact helps.
Bored Retsuko 3 years ago
Good on you, Dina! Same here, I have limited contact and might have to go no contact eventually.
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Savannah Newman 3 years ago
It took me a long time.to learn that sometimes our parents can't be, won't be or are unable to be the people we need them to be. And that is not a reflection of who you are.
Slávka (she) 🇨🇿 3 years ago
Same, except it isn't my mom, but her mom (my grandmother)... This summer I told her how I felt all that years (I am F29, it was most of my life) and she apologized. Since that she is more decent person, when we meet and spend time together. Sadly, this change to better happen rarely with toxic people.
Cory Kent 3 years ago
The problem is, they know inside that they can't measure up to their standards, and they never will, so they don't demand it of themselves. Instead, they expect it from others.
Melynda Wayne 3 years ago
Did NOT mean to downvote this ! Hit wrong arrow & couldn't figure out how to undo...so very sorry !
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Alexa Saltz 3 years ago
I can tell myself that all day long, every day, and it is still not ok. I am ok. But my mother is not.
#23
Not every action needs a reaction.
Christoph 3 years ago
not every action needs a RESPONSE I think is a better way to say this.
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HurlWurk 3 years ago
There is a famous quote "I don't have to attend every argument I'm invited to."
Headless Roach 3 years ago
*Isaac Newton rising from his grave to discuss this matter in 3... 2... 1....*
#24
That I don't have to change to be accepted, fk those who don't care about me.
HurlWurk 3 years ago
I will say keep you own behavior in check however. If, literally everyone you meet had a negative opinion of you, reassess why.
The crushinator 3 years ago
Thank you! I think there is a big difference between being insecure and dealing with people who try to change and manipulate you and people who refuse to see that their personal problems are not a free pass for negative, toxic behaviour towards other people. Either way, we're all responsible for our own behaviour.
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#25
Work is what you do for money. Time is what you spend.
Paul Neff 3 years ago
Money is what you spend to have more options for your time.
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Christopher Kirsch 3 years ago
Since you trade your time for money, you're essentially spending time.
Savannah Newman 3 years ago
Here is a good one I heard recently. What takes up your space takes up your time..get rid of things that do not serve the intent of how you want to live.
Mark Kelly 3 years ago
Speaking of work don't always do what you do as a hobby as a job cuz you might get diluted with it.
Karnevil4 3 years ago
If time is money, why do people waste my time in the way they pay the money. KEEP YOUR F****** CHANGE OR HAVE IT READY! Worst thing I hear in my day is, " I have that $.98!"
C Lawson 3 years ago
I may be guilty of this. But please understand I'm trying to make it easier. If my total is 5.63 I'd rather lighten my load by giving the change instead of another bill because I don't want to get .37c to add to the weight in my bag. It seems like the change is an afterthought but I don't want to hand someone a 5 with change piled all over it & have them dropping it everywhere while they separate it. I didn't know I was causing the annoyance when I was trying to avoid it. I wonder if others would rather get it all at once in one handful?
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#26
I might have some self esteem issues I need to work on.
RafCo (he/him) 3 years ago
Not me, my self loathing is fully justified. It the thing I'm most proud of, so don't take it away from me.
Load More Replies... John Anderson 3 years ago
I have some mental health issues that I need to work on which will help my self esteem
Queen Boadicea 3 years ago
Want to work on your self esteem, have you tried Jesus? Do what He did, get out of your head and go and serve the less fortunate in this world. Take your eyes off yourself and put it to those who are hurting, have love for others and be good to people you don't want to be good too.
#27
My parents are never going to change.
MoMcB 3 years ago
Yeah, I live away now. Had a call from my Mum today, berating me for not calling (I've been ill). Then someone else can to her door when she was on the phone and she hung up. I've never been important.
Michelle C 3 years ago
I’m glad you got away from that toxicity and I pray for your healing!
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just me 3 years ago
Mine did. My dad finally got help (around age 60) for the anxiety that he's had for as long as I can remember. He's not perfect, and I still hate the him he was, but I don't hate who him anymore. Now, my dad is actually a decent human and I'm glad I know him.
Mistletoe 3 years ago
I like your understanding of the cause of the problem. Your dad sounds like me and you sound like my kid!
Load More Replies... Bouche Clay 3 years ago
Mine change every day, except for good clothes they only wear for a few hours and have to be dry cleaned.
Reynard 3 years ago
That reminds me of a joke by Mitch Hedberg: "This shirt is "dry-clean only"...which means it's dirty."
Load More Replies... Queen Boadicea 3 years ago (edited)
Spoken like a person who knows nothing of the life of their parents. You have no clue the life your parents have lead, what changed them, how the hurt, struggle and get through everyday, especially when you are in a mood and don't get what you want from them. You will understand one day that your parents changed a lot over the years, and the lessons they lived and learned made them who they are today. Perhaps you should put yourself in their shoes and walk the life they have with the ungratefulness of you.
Luis Gomez 3 years ago
My dad is very old fashion religious and conservative. He have been willing to change his views periodically after seeing his immigrant minority son living in a racist country. Also my daughter is a hardcore feminist.
#28
I gotta go get it if I want it.
Monday 3 years ago
but also remember....crime is only bad for you if you get caught.
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#29
That not everyone is your person and its ok just move on, don't keep people in your life that make you feel some type of way, they don't deserve your time.
Felix Grace 3 years ago
then keep them! if they make you feel good, they ARE good (most of the time)
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#30
That I only have two actual friends.
Amy Taylor 3 years ago
Like my gramps used to say, would you rather have a dollar or 100 pennies?
PotatoPanda 3 years ago (edited)
To explain would you rather have 1 important friend or 100 cheap friends
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DennyS (denzoren) 3 years ago
I have about 4 but I have 100% trust that they wouldn't betray me. I'd take that over more any day.
Headless Roach 3 years ago
Looking at the photo, those two are the best friends one can have (unless you have two cats - that's better 🤪)
Cory Kent 3 years ago
I'm not sure if this was a sad revelation that you feel like you basically have no friends, or just that you found it out as a fact when you finally realized that people throw the word friend around for tons of people in their lives, the majority of whom are not actually friends. Thank Facebook. And yes, we all really only have a very few true friends. That's okay.
Jonathan Taunton 3 years ago
Lucky enough to have 6. 3 that are 4 legged and 3 that are 2 legged
Rachel Smith 3 years ago
I use to have no friends, but now I have a couple of them and its very nice 🙂
#31
Relationships don’t always work out.
Julian Scherner 3 years ago
Yes, many times it's a good thing but sometimes it takes years to figure that out.
#32
I will never be normal or “grow out of it.” I was diagnosed with schizophrenia four years ago.
Lakota Wolf 3 years ago
::hugs to everyone struggling with mental illness/mental disabilities... hell, hugs for EVERYONE!::
Bouche Clay 3 years ago
*POUNCES Lakota Wolf* I didn't type that! Bouche batted the phone out of my hands!
#33
Balding.
Peej Maybe 3 years ago
Accept it, shave your head, maybe grow a beard if you feel the need but never mourn the loss of your hair. It ain't coming back and if people don't like it / can't accept it, you need new and different people around you.
#34
I'm always gonna be poor.
Carole G. 3 years ago
A smile, happiness, peace of mind, family, currency comes in many forms, not just money.
Do-nut touch da donut 3 years ago
Money is worthless compared to the value of love, family, and friends
Tuna Fish 3 years ago
Hey now, I might not have any money but I am very rich. My bosses with their big cars and cheating spouses and lack of empathy and awareness are way poor compared to me :). I enjoy what life gives me and have both faith and trust in my spouse. I'm a wealthy winner in my book.
Bouche Clay 3 years ago
A happy kitten makes you rich (and occasionally bloody when she forgets to sheathe her claws).
#35
I'm probably going to die alone. I'm turning 29 this month and I have no friends. I've never been in a relationship. When I'm not working I just spend all of my time alone in my room, bored out of my mind, but I'm too lazy to go outside and do anything, so I'm never going to meet anyone.
Jihana 3 years ago
Being bored out of your mind while being too lazy to do something sounds an awful lot like depression.
Manda 3 years ago
You're still young. Friends are overrated. But that does sound like depression. Start taking vitamins and getting sunlight, hopefully that helps
Cory Kent 3 years ago
I'm not sure which realization came first. If you realize you're probably going to die alone, and then realize that you spend all your time alone in your room, then you've found out a lot. You now know why you have no friends, you know you're okay with being bored, you know the consequences of your actions, and best of all, you know how to solve all of it. If you don't then I think you should get some help, because you are essentially imprisoning yourself. Myu heart goes out to you.
#36
That I need aluminum in my deodorant.
Benita Valdez 3 years ago
I have come to terms that there is no deodorant strong enough for me. My pits are just a force to be reckoned with because of stress stank
Lakota Wolf 3 years ago
I have to swab my pits every morning with rubbing alcohol to murder all the surface bacteria that have grown overnight. Then the ONLY thing I've found to work for me is Old Spice men's antiperspirant/deodorant. I am not a man XD
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Seedy Vine 3 years ago
Native brand is a deodorant without aluminum that actually makes me smell good when nothing else worked. Can't recommend it enough!
Wintermute 3 years ago
Hyperhydrosis. Welcome to the club. The soggy, soggy club. I've given up on aluminum, personally. Not strong enough and it makes me itch.
John Legere 3 years ago
Benita--- Try Lafes deodorant stone. It is a salt crystal I think. It works great. Put it on your underarms while they are wet from a shower and dont towel dry underarm for best results.
John Brindley 3 years ago
Yes we use a stick of alum which costs about a euro and keeps both of us odour free for about a year.
Load More Replies... Rachel Smith 3 years ago
Only aluminum free deodorant that has worked for me is old spice. Also I think it's weird deodorant is gendered, I get weird looks when I tell people I use old spice
Mia Black 3 years ago
As far as i know, Deodorant is just like perfume if without aluminiu - so, yes, we need it if we want to really stop stinkig under the arms during Sport or heat. I found, the Nivea antitranspirant Creme is very good. You don't Waste stuff in the air by spraying because it is Creme. And you can put it in a smaller Container if you want to travel lightweight (hiking, paddling etc.) which is a winner for me
#37
I'm a homosexual.
Lakota Wolf 3 years ago
And there's nothing wrong with that. If family can't accept that, they aren't family, regardless of whether or not they contributed genetic material to your existence or not.
#38
Software terms and conditions.
#39
That my brother will never pay back any amount of the money he owes me.
brian jones 3 years ago
its better to give than lend, and it costs the same. Any repayments are, then, a lovely surprise.
Bouche Clay 3 years ago
My brother owes me a dime from about '72. It amuses me that I remember this. The righteous anger of a toddler scorned!
#40
That I am 40 in 9 days...
Lakota Wolf 3 years ago
Hey, I'm 40 right now! There's nothing wrong with being/turning 40 XD I still dress like a 13-year-old teenage boy from the 90s, much to my mother's chagrin. I'm not male. XD
Craig Abram 3 years ago
It's just a number, not everybody gets to grow old, enjoy the journey!
Rachel Smith 3 years ago
Age is just a number friend. We're all alive to experience being alive, try to enjoy it and don't let those kind of things bother you.
What do you think ?
J 3 years ago
Yes! And that’s ok! We were all raised by completely imperfect humans who made their imprint on us and it’s ok to unravel which parts were healthy and which parts weren’t.
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BG 3 years ago
The random photos that they chose are what does it for me. I'm trying to backward-engineer the thought process and the Google search that landed some of these gems.
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Eli Klimentova 3 years ago
That the whole world is in fact NOT against me, and that sometimes things are actually my fault. Learning accountability and taking responsibility for my own behavior was a tough one, but it was so worth it
Aunt Riarch 3 years ago
That Alzheimer's will not have a cure or prevention in my parents' lifetime
Ione Alva-wies 2 years ago
A few pills that I can’t swallow: I am young and unimportant so I can’t change corruption if at all but most definitely not in time for it that change to affect me, I gotta take care of my mental state even thought I’m not even in high school,I can’t not deal with people I don’t like (or even ones I do)
Raccoon panda 3 years ago
That life can be generous with gifting, but a thief of opportunity and support. Had an IQ of 163. Not too shabby. But I had abusive parents who wanted nothing more than to see me fail. They never supported anything I did, and never paid attention except when I was failing. They took that personally, for some reason. As a result, I became very discouraged. I was considered too emotionally stunted for the more advanced classes, and nearly failed high school. I will never get into a good college now. Never.
ZeroCapacity 3 years ago
That the 46 years of my life were wasted. I have nothing to show for a 16 year career that ended abruptly, ruined all the relationships I have, then threw me away like trash. I will never find that special someone to even spend time with, and the only one to truelly love and care about me is my doggo. I don't have friends because most people are narcissistic, egotistical, asshats and I can't stand to be around them. I shall die alone and that's okay.
Ría ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ she/her 3 years ago
It helps me knowing I'm not the only one going through these problems 🥲 Wishing the best for anyone reading
J 3 years ago
Yes! And that’s ok! We were all raised by completely imperfect humans who made their imprint on us and it’s ok to unravel which parts were healthy and which parts weren’t.
Load More Replies... BG 3 years ago
The random photos that they chose are what does it for me. I'm trying to backward-engineer the thought process and the Google search that landed some of these gems.
Load More Replies... Eli Klimentova 3 years ago
That the whole world is in fact NOT against me, and that sometimes things are actually my fault. Learning accountability and taking responsibility for my own behavior was a tough one, but it was so worth it
Aunt Riarch 3 years ago
That Alzheimer's will not have a cure or prevention in my parents' lifetime
Ione Alva-wies 2 years ago
A few pills that I can’t swallow: I am young and unimportant so I can’t change corruption if at all but most definitely not in time for it that change to affect me, I gotta take care of my mental state even thought I’m not even in high school,I can’t not deal with people I don’t like (or even ones I do)
Raccoon panda 3 years ago
That life can be generous with gifting, but a thief of opportunity and support. Had an IQ of 163. Not too shabby. But I had abusive parents who wanted nothing more than to see me fail. They never supported anything I did, and never paid attention except when I was failing. They took that personally, for some reason. As a result, I became very discouraged. I was considered too emotionally stunted for the more advanced classes, and nearly failed high school. I will never get into a good college now. Never.
ZeroCapacity 3 years ago
That the 46 years of my life were wasted. I have nothing to show for a 16 year career that ended abruptly, ruined all the relationships I have, then threw me away like trash. I will never find that special someone to even spend time with, and the only one to truelly love and care about me is my doggo. I don't have friends because most people are narcissistic, egotistical, asshats and I can't stand to be around them. I shall die alone and that's okay.
Ría ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ she/her 3 years ago
It helps me knowing I'm not the only one going through these problems 🥲 Wishing the best for anyone reading
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