Man Skips Out On Helping Postpartum SIL, Leaves New Wife Behind And Goes On Honeymoon Alone
Honeymoons are the best way for new couples to connect and enjoy a stress-free time together. After spending probably months planning a wedding, most people are just glad to go somewhere beautiful and have a great trip with each other.
But what would you do if your new partner skipped out on your honeymoon and then got mad at you for going alone? This unfortunate situation happened to a man whose wife sidelined him in favor of her sister. He explained everything that went down, and people immediately called it a red flag.
More info: Reddit
Guy goes on honeymoon without his wife because she decided to stay in another city with her sister, who had given birth; he enjoyed every moment, but she got mad
Image credits: marymarkevich (not the actual photo)
The poster’s wife, Tonya, practically raised her sister, Marie, so when Marie gave birth to her baby girl, Tonya immediately went to be by her side after her wedding reception
Image credits: DC Studio (not the actual photo)
The newlyweds were supposed to go on their honeymoon 2 days after their marriage, but Tonya wanted to be with her sister instead of going on the trip
Image credits: Vlada Karpovich (not the actual photo)
The guy mentioned that the tickets were non-refundable, insurance would not cover the cancellation, and he had taken 2 weeks off for the events, so he decided to go alone
Image credits: RDNE Stock project (not the actual photo)
The poster enjoyed every activity possible on his honeymoon trip, but when he returned, Tonya was upset, and her friends thought he was a jerk for going
Image credits: Hot-Fly-1091
He felt conflicted about whether he should have gone or just stayed home and played video games while waiting for his wife to return
The author gave people an insight into his wife’s close relationship with her sister. He said that Tonya had cared for Marie since their mom passed away and dad remarried. They almost have a mother-daughter bond and are very close to one another. So when Marie went into premature labor at the poster’s wedding, Tonya felt like she needed to be by her side.
Marie gave birth to a healthy baby girl. The poster told commenters that the baby was just over a month premature and weighed a little under four pounds. She, therefore, had to be placed in the neonatal intensive care unit (NICU). It’s possible that the knowledge of her niece being put under special care and her sister going through such a vulnerable time made Tonya feel like she needed to be there to help out.
Unfortunately for the man, this meant they would not go on their honeymoon. But he mentioned that the tickets were non-refundable, insurance would not cover it, and that he had taken 2 weeks off for his wedding and honeymoon. So he made the decision to go alone. This ticked Tonya off, and she became angry at him even though she was the one who had not made her new husband a priority. Also, it’s important to note that when partners value their family over their spouse, it can cause huge rifts in the relationship.
The poster told commenters, “I like Marie well enough. And I’m sure I will love my niece. But I spent more on our wedding and honeymoon than I did on my last car. If my wife asked me to give my car to her sister, should I do that because family is more important than money?” It’s clear that Tonya keeps prioritizing her sister over her new husband. Therapists say that when partners keep getting sidelined for their spouse’s family, it’s important to open the lines of communication. Only if both people work toward a mutually beneficial resolution can there be a chance of things working out.
Image credits: Asad Photo Maldives (not the actual photo)
It’s also possible that Tonya felt guilty or worried when Marie gave birth because she had such a close bond with her sister. But missing out on her honeymoon to be in a different city where she couldn’t even do much to help her sister did not make much sense. It’s not healthy when people go to great lengths for their family at the cost of their main relationship. However, Tonya did not seem to recognize the consequences of her actions and instead was mad at her husband.
On the other hand, her new husband had tried his best to make her family feel welcome. He told netizens that “we had our wedding in her hometown specifically so her sister could attend. My family and friends had to come from Colorado to Iowa for my wedding. I went out of my way to accommodate her family.” The problem with this is that their relationship kept being one-sided and that although he ranked her as the most important person in his life, she did not do the same for him.
A marriage can only work if each partner knows that they come first for the other. If one person keeps running off to do their parents’ or siblings’ bidding, it will create a sense of distrust and even harm the relationship. In such cases, couples should make an effort to hear each other out and peacefully find ways to prioritize each other.
The poster told netizens that he would keep them updated on what happened once his wife was back. Although it seemed like their relationship was hanging in the balance, at least the guy got a good trip out of it. People were divided on who was truly a jerk in the situation. What do you think? Let us know in the comments.
Many people straight up told the poster to get his marriage annulled while others felt that the wife was not a jerk for rushing to be by her sister’s side
Wow. How the hell did this relationship even get as far as the wedding?
What a stupid situation. The wife really couldn't wait 2 weeks to go see her sister and the new baby, even when she knew it was going to waste the thousands of dollars that a two week vacation had already cost them? Honestly, what else was the husband supposed to do? Just waste the vacation and sit at home alone? This is one helluva start to a marriage. *cringe*
It sounds like the new wife thinks of herself more as a mother to her sister than a wife to her husband. Given this is likely to be a marriage between two older people i.e. not early 20s (the wife was old enough to raise her sister), I'm amazed at the lack of maturity in failing to communicate with each other. That's a big problem already with the marriage.
Seems more like she wouldn't listen and decided herself. Op would probably have better luck talking to a brick wall.
Load More Replies...
Wow. How the hell did this relationship even get as far as the wedding?
What a stupid situation. The wife really couldn't wait 2 weeks to go see her sister and the new baby, even when she knew it was going to waste the thousands of dollars that a two week vacation had already cost them? Honestly, what else was the husband supposed to do? Just waste the vacation and sit at home alone? This is one helluva start to a marriage. *cringe*
It sounds like the new wife thinks of herself more as a mother to her sister than a wife to her husband. Given this is likely to be a marriage between two older people i.e. not early 20s (the wife was old enough to raise her sister), I'm amazed at the lack of maturity in failing to communicate with each other. That's a big problem already with the marriage.
Seems more like she wouldn't listen and decided herself. Op would probably have better luck talking to a brick wall.
Load More Replies...
68
49