Grandfather’s old toy. He said just pull the string and it will leave you speechless

Well, there was that one guy who got slapped with "Mr Stinky". All the other serial killers are probably giving him wedgies in Hell.

i'll continue the joke-on behalf of all Jews, we also don't eat pork.

I always wondered where all the Methodists came from

What a crazy coincidence!

And these Christians are the ones that are forcing women against their will to give birth regardless these are the Christian rednecks that ignore children in poverty these are the Christians that don't have to pay property taxes on their churches these are the people that are making our laws and this f****** redneck s******* country

I can't breathe I'm laughing so hard 😂

I love this one

Also shoes and handbags

Guns and homophobic symbols, definitely could be the result of an incestuous relationship.

That went from 0 to 100 real fukin fast

True though 😶

Someone breathing. Strange though I’m home alone

Actually quite easy to catch due to prevalence of anemia.

This one made me giggle :D Whorrible, but funny...

For some reason my urologist has both of his hands on my shoulders when doing the prostate exam

Savage

Can you run DOOM on that?

Or the driver starts playing P*rnhub on it

great idea until someone hacks it to display pornhub.

Or the blue screen of death.

Or a glitch in the matrix

With my luck, it would be buffering for the next 20 miles.

Or buffering.

Can you run Doom on it?

F

And who did Fred and Bette run into today? Ed and Troy.

Where's all the ads? My brain doesn't comprehend anything unless it's buried under 3 layers of ads.

What happened to the photographer? Was he hit by the oncoming car?

Funny because it’s true. I would never trust it and always act as if it wasn’t even there.

I laughed a little too hard on this one. Did not see that coming. 🤣

if anyone needs it download-4...9d052.jpeg

Only people who've been suicidal might think this is funny. Because sometimes that's all we need. Is to feel. Something other than dread, constant sadness or in many case nothing. Anhedonia sucks.

This is ridiculous, come on USA get this sorted. If ya got crazy people who like going around shooting people, get em to shoot the right people. And yes I know you can't, just wish it could work that way.

So, wait, only one out of every 30 million conjoined twins survive? HOW MANY SETS OF CONJOINED TWINS HAVE BEEN BORN?

Typical Christians stupidity and these Christians are the one that are making our laws these Christians are the one that's forcing their religion down our throat and half this country these people are so god damn f****** stupid

I shouldn't have laughed

Ewww I have a similar story. One time a girl s**t her pants at a party in high school. Her dad came and brought her extra clothes into the bathroom. He came back out with all the shifty clothes in the bag and stood there talking to everyone for like 20 minutes. It smelled terrible and was so odd. All of it. And very gross

It's sad but it really is this easy to prevent school shootings. Society needs to be kinder to one another no matter what.

Obese people only eat fast food, and the only right way to talk about them is to call them whales. Hilarious! And so clever! /s

Sick people

I thought it was only one

Who calls her butt Jesus?

I guess being a chicken is out of the question.

They do like collect weapon as well.

At least they're honest

😂 what's next, Harry Potter and the rotting teeth?

Good thing they don't know geography/jk

I don't blame her. Thin mints are the best

In the distance: banjos.... just like in sweet home alabama

tour around the world! first stop, Hiroshima, Japan

That kind of violence against Karens is unacceptable. May I speak to your manager to complain about your disgusting safety regulations? Karen blood is cold and germy, selling veins as shoe laces is just disgusting. Use tendons or skin, those have better wear and tear.

I love your dad.