When you get an invitation to a wedding, you’re preparing for a party. But when Reddit user Fuschia_Apple‘s husband went to his old friends’ ceremony, he was asked to work.

The man, along with everyone else he was sitting with, were approached by the mother of the bride who asked them to bus the tables. If that wasn’t enough, she came back and told them to do the dishes instead!

I guess employing your guests is cheaper than hiring a few extra pairs of hands.

This woman couldn’t go to her husband’s friends’ wedding, so he went alone

Image credits: Kaboompics (not the actual photo)

But when he came back, the man said it was more of a job than a celebration

Image credits: Yukiko Kanada (not the actual photo)

Image credits: cottonbro studio (not the actual photo)

Image credits: Fuschia_apple

It’s understandable why a couple may consider something like this

According to a report by Zola, weddings started roaring back from a pandemic-triggered halt to all kinds of celebrations in 2022, and, ever since, the industry has seen a surge in demands for venues, photographers, wedding planners, florists and wedding cakes.

Add to that a growing desire for very customized events, and prices are rising.

In 2023, the US national average for wedding costs hit $29,000, with the number reaching as much as $35,000 in some major cities.

When asked about who is footing the bill, the Zola report discovered that 33% of couples said others are contributing to their wedding budgets in some way and another 16% said they are paying for the whole thing completely on their own.

As a result, many are looking for ways to save an extra dollar where they can. “In 2022, we saw an average of 117 wedding guests, but in 2023, we discovered [that] 39% of couples are trimming their guest list,” says Esther Lee, deputy editor at The Knot, a wedding planning and vendor marketplace company.

While this particular couple kept their guest list long, they decided to give them work. Even though such practices aren’t the norm, a quick Google search reveals that other people have found themselves in similar positions.

Image credits: Thomas William (not the actual photo)

But it’s definitely a mistake

Julianne Cuomo, who is a certified wedding planner with extensive experience in event management, says that engaged couples often ask her whether or not it’s OK to ask a friend or family member to “work” at their wedding.

When answering this popular question, she asks the couple the following:

• Is your friend/family member part of the bridal party? According to Cuomo, you cannot have someone who is a member of the bridal party “work” your wedding. There’s simply not enough time since they already have other responsibilities, after all, they will need to help the bride and groom get ready, escort guests, etc.
• Is your friend/family member a guest at the wedding? If you want this person to be a guest at your wedding, they cannot “work” during it. You don’t want them to miss out on your special day and not feel included because they’re busy with chores.

Other industry experts agree that you can’t do whatever you want with them. On the contrary. “Guests are the priority of your wedding in my mind,” says Fallon Carter of Fallon Carter Events. “Yes, there’s food and beverage and music and dress and décor—but what is all of that without guests? When they’re happy, you’re happy.”

Image credits: Marcel Strauß (not the actual photo)

As her story went viral, its author answered people’s questions in the comments

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Many thought that the couple were out of their minds

And some even shared their own similar experiences

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