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Newlyweds Ask Woman To Return Their Wedding Gift After They Didn’t Even Invite Her
Wedding gifts are just a bonus to a supposedly momentous occasion between a couple. However, some people tend to put too much value on these material things. As this story shows, it’s never a good look.
A woman gave her friend’s son a wedding gift, even though she was not invited to the ceremony. A few months later, the groom wanted to return the gift and also expected to receive a refund.
The situation was already awkward for the author but only became off-putting because of the gift. She is now sharing her story online to understand what happened.
RELATED:
Some people put too much value on wedding gifts while forgetting about what the ceremony is really all about
Image credits: Porapak Apichodilok / pexels (not the actual photo)
A woman gave her friend’s son a wedding gift, even though she wasn’t invited
Image credits: cottonbro studio / pexels (not the actual photo)
A few weeks after the ceremony, the groom wanted to return the present and expected to get the refunded amount
Image credits: Own-Scientist-7890
The pursuit of material things can be detrimental to social relationships
Psychologist and author Tim Kasser defines materialism as putting a “relatively high priority” on money and possessions. The groom may have exhibited these traits based on the author’s story.
According to experts, a materialistic mindset can only skew a person’s view of the world despite some perceived upsides.
As University of Colorado professor Leaf Van Boven states, people often believe that the pursuit of material things can improve social relationships. However, he says the truth is the exact opposite.
“This is really problematic because we know that having quality social relationships is one of the best predictors of happiness, health, and well-being,” he said.
The groom seemed to value the gift too highly. He showed little appreciation for the author, who made the effort despite not being invited.
Image credits: Alexandra Maria / pexels (not the actual photo)
Approaching ungratefulness with a detached mindset can be helpful
The author vocalized her dislike of what happened, but experts advise a more stoic approach during these moments.
Educator and author Dr. Chuck Chakrapani reminds us that we have no control over other people’s actions. In an article for Medium, he stated the importance of letting go of our expectations of others. In this case, it’s on the groom to show gratitude, which he unfortunately didn’t.
Having an altruistic view of life may also help. As Dr. Chakarapani pointed out, doing others a favor also benefits us in some way. It makes us feel good and improves our overall disposition.
Looking at it from this perspective may help the author move past what happened and not let it affect her friendship with the groom’s mother. However, it is also understandable for her to set boundaries and not entertain any further concerns regarding the gift.
What’s your take, readers? How should the woman handle the situation?
Image credits: Budgeron Bach / pexels (not the actual photo)
The author responded to some of the comments and cleared up some questions
Others gave their suggestions
What do you think ?
Alexandra 4 months ago
What? Instead of a Thank-You note you received a request to look into returning your wedding gift?? These are modern times, I know, but since everyone is just doing what they feel like doing there are a lot of hurt feelings all around, so let me just say this for the record: a) a wedding gift is not obligatory and there should be no reference to it by the soon-to-be married couple b) if a gift is received, the recipient sends a Thank You note (handwritten; doesn't have to be long) c) even if it's the 10th toaster, the recipient never mentions that and never asks for the receipt so that it can be returned. In short, a wedding is not an occasion for getting presents: it's a celebration of love and commitment (or should be).
Boo 4 months ago
My eldest just moved into her new flat with her fiancée and she asked if she could raid my spice and herb racks (I keep spares at all times) lol. How would someone not want an expensive and killer rack? That's an awesome gift!
Nitka Tsar 4 months ago (edited)
Does anyone know what the DIL said? One commenter mentioned, that OP deleted a comment from the DIL. Edit: I did some digging. This is one of the other comments: „ Oh OP. If only you knew how ridiculous you look right now. If you are going to make up a story, don’t use the same account to tell the same story as the Groom. 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️“
Alexandra 4 months ago
What? Instead of a Thank-You note you received a request to look into returning your wedding gift?? These are modern times, I know, but since everyone is just doing what they feel like doing there are a lot of hurt feelings all around, so let me just say this for the record: a) a wedding gift is not obligatory and there should be no reference to it by the soon-to-be married couple b) if a gift is received, the recipient sends a Thank You note (handwritten; doesn't have to be long) c) even if it's the 10th toaster, the recipient never mentions that and never asks for the receipt so that it can be returned. In short, a wedding is not an occasion for getting presents: it's a celebration of love and commitment (or should be).
Boo 4 months ago
My eldest just moved into her new flat with her fiancée and she asked if she could raid my spice and herb racks (I keep spares at all times) lol. How would someone not want an expensive and killer rack? That's an awesome gift!
Nitka Tsar 4 months ago (edited)
Does anyone know what the DIL said? One commenter mentioned, that OP deleted a comment from the DIL. Edit: I did some digging. This is one of the other comments: „ Oh OP. If only you knew how ridiculous you look right now. If you are going to make up a story, don’t use the same account to tell the same story as the Groom. 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️“
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Rugilė Žemaitytė
Mindaugas Balčiauskas
Indrė Lukošiūtė
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