Being invited to a wedding can be a huge honor. Your loved ones want to make sure that you’re there to witness and experience one of the most exciting days of their lives. And especially if it’s a destination wedding, there’s something extra special about being included in the lucky few invited to travel for the big day.

But when one couple decided to change their wedding plans at the last minute without informing all of their guests, they ended up offending relatives that were willing to invest a lot of money into their special day. Below, you’ll find the full story that was shared on the Wedding Shaming subreddit, as well as a conversation between the woman who posted the story and Bored Panda. 

This woman and her husband were excited to attend a destination wedding for a family member

Image credits: Asad Photo Maldives (not the actual photo)

But they were shocked to find out that the couple had already tied the knot about a month before they had originally planned to

Image credits: Yan Krukau (not the actual photo)

Later, the author came back with some updates on the situation

Image credits: Neal Cruz (not the actual photo)

Image source: Far_Rhubarb7177

“Jennifer has never apologized for not notifying us about the change in plans”

Image credits: ANTONI SHKRABA production (not the actual photo)

To find out more about this situation, we reached out to the Reddit user who shared this story online, Far_Rhubarb7177, who was kind enough to have a chat with Bored Panda. First, we wanted to know what inspired the author to tell this story now.

“While I’ve been something of a lurker on Reddit for some time, I only recently became aware of the ‘wedding shaming’ thread,” she shared. “So I then realized that I had an interesting story to share!”

We were also curious to know if Jennifer ever acknowledged the fact that they had wasted so much money on her wedding and that she didn’t inform them of the changes. “No, Jennifer has never apologized for not notifying us about the change in plans,” Far_Rhubarb7177 says. “And it’s been about four years now!”

“My husband actually saw her at his brother’s (her father’s) house recently while she was in town for a visit, but nothing was said about the wedding then, either,” she added. “I wasn’t there, but it seems like it could have been the proverbial elephant in the room!”

Next, we wanted to know if this was the only couple who wasn’t informed of the changes, or if Jennifer failed to tell many of her guests that the destination wedding was off.

“I definitely would be a lot more hesitant to plan on attending destination weddings [in the future]”

Image credits: Gustavo Fring (not the actual photo)

“I really don’t know who else wasn’t informed of the change in plans, but I’m guessing it wasn’t just us,” the author shared. “I do know that the original wedding, at the upscale destination, had a LOT of guests invited besides us. Because of this number, my hunch is that the couple didn’t bother to tell many of the others about the situation, either.”

As for what the OP thought of the replies to her post, she says, “I was astonished at the number of reactions and responses to my post! I really wasn’t expecting that. And yes, I have very much enjoyed reading all the comments! The post certainly seems to have hit a nerve with many people.”

Finally, Far_Rhubarb7177 shared that this experience “has absolutely changed” how she will approach wedding invitations in the future. “Among other things, I definitely would be a lot more hesitant to plan on attending destination weddings!” she noted.

We all know that plans are capable of changing, whether you’ve booked a dentist appointment or you’ve spent a year planning a destination wedding. Life is unpredictable! But the courteous thing to do when your plans affect other people is to let them know as soon as possible that the schedule has changed. Wedding planning expert Stefanie Cove told Brides.com that she recommends sending out an email ASAP in this case, as it’s more reliable than physical mail and takes much less time to arrive. 

When plans change, it’s important for couples to inform their wedding guests as soon as possible

Image credits: Mikhail Nilov (not the actual photo)

But first, before deciding on a new date, it would be best to consult your close family members and the wedding party to ensure they’ll all be able to make the new date. You don’t want to have to change the date multiple times or risk losing your best friend in the process of picking a new day.

Then, after sending out an email to all guests informing them of the changes, you might opt for physical “change the date” cards too. This is up to the happy couple, but stationery expert Ceci Johnson tells Brides.com that this is “the more elegant and appropriate way” to announce a changed wedding date.

And while you’ll still be thrilled about your big day, regardless of when it happens, it’s important to understand that you might lose some guests in the process. Or you might end up with frustrated family members who spent money on the original date already.

We would love to hear your thoughts on this situation in the comments below, pandas. How would you have responded to having a destination wedding changed at the last minute like this? Feel free to share, and then if you’re interested in checking out another piece from Bored Panda discussing family wedding drama, look no further than right here!

Readers had plenty to say about the story, and the author joined in to share more details about the situation

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