Get Premium
Dark mode theme is available exclusively for premium users. Learn more about the benefits of subscribing.
No fees, cancel anytime.
Dark Mode 
No fees, cancel anytime 
then open in external browser
and click "Open in External Browser" 
“Legroom On An Airplane”: 50 Quiet Rebellions That Redefine Microfeminism, One Small Act At A Time
Microfeminism is a strategy some women use to gently, yet meaningfully raise up other women in, often, male-dominated spaces. This can be everything from not defaulting to masculine pronouns to battling manspreading, but some folks get even more creative.
So some women turned to the internet to share the ways they practice “microfeminism” so others can try it too. Settle in, get comfortable as you scroll through, maybe take some notes if you see something useful and be sure to add your own thoughts and examples in the comments section down below.
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
As a teacher I start the day with a picture of a woman on the board, I ask my class to grab their laptops and find out who she is and what she did or does. We’ll have a little history lesson or a lesson about standing up for yourself etc. Women are often written from history, I write them back in. ✌🏼
StrangeOne 6 months ago (edited)
That's awesome. There's a book I bought for my daughter when she was really young about amazing women throughout history. It was beyond her years, but I still read it to her for years. The feeling is a bit polarizing, now that people have been brought to awareness of some renowned women who weren't/are all that good. But if you put aside the person, and focus just on the stories of invention, creations and activism, their stories can still strike inspiration and courage in girls.
Mreoww 6 months ago
Mhm. I found out about this book that discusses dozens of women scientists and all the amazing things they did for our world. It’s very good.
Load More Replies...
Rimjabbathehutt 6 months ago
Very forward thinking of you. I commend you. I myself teach a class called "Important Women in History and the Men who Got Them There."
RELATED:
#2
Not laughing at sexist jokes 😐 I blink like a ferbie and play dumb. It didn’t take much practice because these dudes have like 3 jokes between them all from 1993
Ellinor 6 months ago
If you hear a joke like that, ask them to explain again and again and slowly watch them shrink.
StrangeOne 6 months ago
Sexist jokes have had their run for so long, and they don't get any more cleaver or relatable. That goes for both sexes.
#3
Never cleaning the kitchen at the office. It’s nobody’s job, which means it’s not my job.
Skywitness 6 months ago
It's the tragedy of the commons. A communal microwave never seems to be anyone's problem even after burned popcorn or fish.
StrangeOne 6 months ago
I just suck it up and clean it. I value cleanliness and don't want to heat my food with other's food contaminates.
Load More Replies... StrangeOne 6 months ago
NO. Good God I hate people like this. I like clean spaces. We're all adults. We should all know how to clean up after ourselves and keep our spaces clean, even at work. I work with so many people like this, for so long, the lunchroom is disgustingly dirty. Idgaf that I'm female, when it comes to my time for washroom/lunchroom duty I go to town. Yes, it takes me longer and my (f) mgr gets upset it takes me forever, but it wouldn't take me so long if more people kept on top of cleaning fridge, counters, sink and cupboards. Since the business also hires cleaners a couple times a week I don't understand why they refuse to wash the lunchroom floors and wipe down the walls. The floor never gets washed. It really is disgusting and I'm surprised we don't see as many pests, but I'm sure they come out at night when the store is closed.
Binny Tutera 6 months ago
I am actually "in charge" of keeping our manufacturing company's kitchen stocked and sanitized, along with my other duties as an administrative assistant. I wipe down the tables, counters, etc. I also stock the coffee, paper towels, cups and plates. BUT I do NOT clean out the microwave, I don't clean out the sink if someone has dumped food in it, I don't clean used pots and pans (side note- we have a pretty awesome kitchen set-up). If someone leaves a mess, it stays there and I send out a gentle but stern text that **someone** better come and clean up the mess, because it won't be me. New people are warned to clean up after themselves, too, or risk my disapproval. Now, before you think I'm a biotch or something, I get along with everyone in our building and have been told by nearly everyone how much they appreciate a clean and stocked kitchen, and how glad they are that I am there. I respect them, they respect me. And that is, after all this explanation, the bottom line.
Michael Largey 6 months ago
A common space deserves a common effort. Which means coming up with a common plan.
Sarah Baker 6 months ago
When people left their dirty crockery in the kitchen, I put it in the bin.
#4
If you see/meet another woman in passing and you think “wow she’s stunning”, or “she’s so well spoken”, or “I love her style”, simply tell her! Spread love to the women in your space ❤️
StrangeOne 6 months ago
If I see something about someone notable I will sometimes tell them. But I pay attention to their body language and what they have going on before I interrupt their time. Some people just don't want to be bothered.
Lily bloom 6 months ago
You dont have to prepare a monologue. A simple "nice shirt" "i like your hair" can brighten someone's day
Load More Replies... Binny Tutera 6 months ago
I do this, too. For instance, "What a beautiful blouse- and it looks great on you!" At first, my husband told me that it was weird, but I told him to pay attention: It is a little boost of confidence from someone with no skin in the game. You never know who needs to hear it.
Kathy Brooke 6 months ago
I tend not to focus on the person... but the look or choice... "love the dress" "such a pretty necklace ". Once sat waiting for a bus with a bunch of teens, as my bus arrived I leaned over to the young goth beside me and whispered "I adore your style!" And then the frumpy little old lady was gone on the Park and Ride.
Power puff scientist 6 months ago
i don't think beautiful and well dressed women lack compliments in general. whenever i go out with my female friends i always notice women and gay men give them compliments very regularly (and men as well obviously). it's interesting to see how normal it is because men hardly do this to each other, best compliment is something like nice shirt 😁
#5
I refer to every judge, CEO, lawyer, doctor, detective, and more as “she” by default until and unless I’m corrected.
StrangeOne 6 months ago
I just go by neutral terms. They, them, the ____. Sometimes 'he' slips out, like if a contractor for the apartment. Usually it ends up being a man, anyways.
Rick Murray 6 months ago
Unfortunately I live in France where masculine favouritism is built into the language. I had an argument with my boss about him using masculine words during a worker's meeting when there were fifty women and one me. He said he understood but I'd have to take that up with l'Académie Française.
General Anaesthesia 6 months ago
It's fitting in this context that the word Académie is feminine.
Load More Replies... El Dee 6 months ago
This is equally jarring for both sexes for the simple reason that we have internalised the 'fact' that all authority figures 'should' be male. Every time the use of the word 'she' jars we need to remember WHY..
Sue 6 months ago
Remember the riddle about the doctor who operated on their own son?
Load More Replies... #6
When they're talking about how great men are at being providers and protectors I like to point out that it's "not all men"
StrangeOne 6 months ago (edited)
LOL I wouldn't say "great" as some men cower and run at the first instant they realize they need to be responsible with/and for someone else.
Michael Largey 6 months ago (edited)
Some men are great providers and protectors. Chances are they learned it from their mothers.
#7
Standing my ground on public transit vs the manspreader, leaner, snorer. Yes I will hip-chuck, shoulder nudge, or clap my hands to wake you up.
StrangeOne 6 months ago
I once went to the back of the bus to look for a seat and found 3 men taking up 5 seats with their spread out legs. I squished my skirt-donned butt in the bit of a seat between 2 of them. Then another big guy came along and just ignored me and nearly sat on me. I had to quickly stand up. As I rose up the big guy continued dipping down. I got up just in time for him to sit on my skirt, pulling it down in front of everyone. It all happened so fast. The guys just sat there with a cheeky grin, chuckling or shaking their head at me. From then on, I just tell men to excuse their legs and let me sit down. If not, I go find another spot. I still think about that time more than is healthy, but I can't help it.
ohjojo (you/your's) 6 months ago
have your camera out next time and take a photo of the person who pulls your skirt down by sitting. that would be a*****t.
Load More Replies... #8
Putting my hand up like a traffic cop when male opposing counsel interrupts me in court and saying “stop”
Emilu 6 months ago (edited)
Tell me you’ve never been in court without telling me you’ve never been in court. (ETA: Your opposing counsel, if they're worth anything, isn't going to keep you from saying something stupid. They'll wait until you do and then they'll capitalise on it.)
Load More Replies... #9
When I'm in the grocery check out and a man is encroaching in my space, I just turn to face them and dead eye stare till they back up.
michael Chock 6 months ago
When someone uses the "I am more important" encroachment, I keep going slower until they back up.
Greenkitty 6 months ago
I once asked a man if he was paying for my groceries, when he asked what I meant I told him if he isn't paying the needs to back up cuz he's standing to close.
StrangeOne 6 months ago
I don't find this a problem with solely men. When anyone gets too close, I take one step back . If I bump into someone then I know they're too close and have them back up a step. But there's been a couple times some old person will just stand behind me, staring at me, in an enclosed queue, or shopping cart holding area and make me back up into them without moving. It's incredibly unsettling.
#10
Looming. Sir, I have been short my entire life. You being taller than me doesn't make you right.
StrangeOne 6 months ago (edited)
This happens so much when men are in authority and you know you can't easily tell them to stop talking down to you. They make you feel like you're a small child who was caught scribbling on the walls or stealing candy from the convenience store. I'm not even that short. About average. But there's men well over 6' who use their height for unnecessary intimidation.
Binny Tutera 6 months ago
I'm older and very short, probably matronly, but oh well. More than once I have told a man trying to intimidate me to "Stop being a Focking @ssh0le" while smiling sweetly. They are usually a little surprised to hear me swear, but generally they smile and relent, then we can continue our conversation without the male dominance bit.
#11
Whenever a male coworker tells me his wife is pregnant I excitedly ask if he’s coming back to work after the baby is born. And then sit in the silence while they work through what just happened
StrangeOne 6 months ago
"Aww. Congrats. Are you going on paternity leave?" This may remind men that can be an option for them they can discuss with their spouse. Quite frankly, if the dad goes on paternity leave, then the mother is expected to go back to work soon after birth when she will have her own recovery time and adjustments to motherhood to endure. Her income would be slashed in half, and if her husband take paternity leave his pay will be take a hit. Having a new baby is not the time to have such drastic reductions in income. Of course, it will depend on the parent's situation of what they can feasibly do, and I don't think it's, really, anyone else's business.
Jonas Fisher 6 months ago
This is kind of stupid. Birth doesn't physically damage a man, right? It has the great potential to do so to a woman. There are also issues like breast feeding, the fact that paternity leave is rare, etc.
Alexandra 6 months ago
True, birth doesn't damage a man physically, but it changes a lot. Many men have difficulties accepting that their partner's attention is, at least in the beginning, solely focused on the child. Becoming a father is obviously not as natural to mean as becoming a mother is for women, generally speaking. Paternity leave therefore is an opportunity to come to grips with the new situation and to bond with the child,
Load More Replies... Power puff scientist 6 months ago
i wish i got the same time off as my girlfriend when shes pregnant. in my home country its three months and in my current country six months. in both men get two weeks after the baby is born.
Paul Rabit 6 months ago
OP is lucky to live/work in a place where paternity leave is an assumed given.
Ellinor 6 months ago (edited)
Wow, so many valid arguments in your comment !
Load More Replies...
#12
Refusing to default sports to men and requiring a qualifier for women (e.g., basketball and women’s basketball). If the Lakers are playing, I say men’s basketball is on. If I see someone wearing a Red Wings hat, I’ll ask if that’s their favorite men’s hockey team.
StrangeOne 6 months ago
My bf does that. He's actually one of the few that watches favourite team for both men's and women's football (not American), and is in full support of FIFA video games creating female characters. It's refreshing to hear from a man.
El Dee 6 months ago
This is beginning to get some traction on TV in my country. I think it's great that women's football is getting more time on TV but I feel that it should be at the expense of the men's game - I hate football..
Power puff scientist 6 months ago
then don't watch it, i also don't like football or any sport, i just don't watch it and it solves all my problems.
Load More Replies... Michael Largey 6 months ago
I find women are more likely to actually play as a team in basketball. Men's college and pro basketball teams seem to think every game is the All-Star game.
Load More Replies... #13
In meetings, if someone suggests we take notes/minutes, I offer before the inevitable glance at any female colleagues.
Michael Largey 6 months ago
I'm a man, and I always offer. He who keeps the meeting notes keeps the meeting narrative.
#14
I like to hold doors open for big burley men
StrangeOne 6 months ago
If I notice men are trying to get ahead or push past me, that's when I move aside with a sarcastic "Go ahead. Men first." But if I'm just casually holding the door open, then it's just being respectful. Sometimes men will take over and offer to let me go and I'll grab the next door (because our buildings tend to have double door entrances in Manitoba.) and let him in, or anyone else. We take turns.
Rob Erlich 6 months ago
I don't understand why this is contentious. Everywhere that I've lived the custom is for a person going through a door to hold it for someone approaching. Gender doesn't enter it at all. It's just being considerate to a fellow human being. I hold doors for anyone. Doors are held for me. I always thank the person holding one for me.
#15
I don't know if this is considered micro, but I LOVE loudly pointing it out to anyone that can hear my booming voice, "I SEE YOU!" when they are sexually assaulting one of us with their eyes or when they're looking at underage girls. To watch them cower in embarrassment is one of the most powerful feelings. We're not going to ignore the predators trying to creep all around us anymore. We're calling that sh*t out!
StrangeOne 6 months ago
How would you even know where they're looking or what they're thinking?
Jill Rhodry 6 months ago
you can't tell where someone's eyes are looking?
Load More Replies... Power puff scientist 6 months ago
sexually assaulting by looking at women? what am i supposed to imagine with that?
S P 6 months ago (edited)
Leering. Ogling. Gawking. Goggling. Peeping. "Undressing with your eyes".
Load More Replies...
Sally Moen 6 months ago
I offer the girls or women who are getting ogled on the bus a seat next to me. The girls will most often turn down my offer and continue ignoring the creep. I thank teenage girls for their immense skill at ignoring, or pretending.
RoRoRomantasy 6 months ago
How do you even do this sometimes, though? My entire youth group was out to eat a few days ago and a man was just like watching me eat (I swear we made eye contact like 5 times) but he was across the restaurant. And he had a crutch. Sometimes I feel like you would just seem like the bad guy if you said anything. Plus, I've said things in the past and been wrong, which makes everything really awkward. Not saying you should let people do this but how do you know when it's the right time to say something?
Sue 6 months ago
If you're not sure, look behind you, then back at them, then shrug & put your hands up in a "what's up" manner. If you're sure, scratch your nose with your middle finger.
Load More Replies... #16
I stopped fake laughing at “jokes” and let them feel the awkward or I’ll ask in a genuine “I don’t get it- what do you mean” kind of way
Jill Rhodry 6 months ago
my response to 'it's just a joke' is ask them to explain it (so funny) and then tell them 'you forgot to be funny'
Ahnjunwan 6 months ago
Hm...i bet everybody loves how nice you are 🙄. I take you do that at every joke someone makes
Vinnie 6 months ago (edited)
The writer wrote "jokes" in quotation marks. That implies that they don't think that certain jokes are funny. There's no obligation to laugh at every joke (unless it's a requirement in your culture).
Load More Replies... #17
I stopped listening to a man at work who whines endlessly. I look at him and walk away. If I'm not your mom, wife, therapist, or friend, I'm not carrying your emotional baggage.
#18
I cross my legs so he’s risking getting his trousers’ leg dirty by the bottom of my shoe if he man spreads. Works very well on the ones with suits/work attire on :)
ohjojo (you/your's) 6 months ago
heading, kicking, what's the difference?
Load More Replies... #19
Whenever I attend a gathering I always try to sit in the front and ask questions and speak up. I also would have sat in the back and kept quiet when I was younger.
StrangeOne 6 months ago (edited)
This is more about boosting your confidence, which is good for anyone.
Power puff scientist 6 months ago
being a good team member and contributing is so important, i wish everyone does this
#20
When I write blog posts for my clients, I sometimes have to pick out stock photos to go with them. When that happens I always choose photos of female professionals. Need a picture of a dentist, here's a woman who's a dentist. Whenever possible, I choose photos of women who aren't white, too.
NJ P 6 months ago
Because she was inclusive? Not misogynistic or bigoted on your part.
Load More Replies... 
jonesnori 6 months ago
This is an attempt to offset the prevailing dominance of white male images. This person does not exist in isolation; their readers are also seeing many other people's posts.
Load More Replies... #21
Today in a conversation in which a man kept interrupting the other woman present, I said, “I’d like to hear what S. is saying.” I used to be voiceless and scared. This came out very naturally.
#22
If a man uses the terms “girls” or “gals” when referring to adult women, rest assured I’ll refer to them as “boys” not men in my response. They may not realize what they are doing at first, but they will when I respond.
Random male: “The girls in the legal department really did a great job with xyz.”
Me: “Yes, the boys did a great job as well.”
Becca not Becky 6 months ago (edited)
One of the surgeons I worked with some years back made sure to refer to me as a woman. I was young and I looked even younger, so I get infantilized a lot. The fact that he was old enough to be my dad but spoke to me like an adult and colleague meant a lot.
WindySwede 6 months ago
A therapist I went to before, used girls and boys for everyone. She was a women. So don't know if it was tought or the way she preferred to express her self?
Load More Replies... Ahnjunwan 6 months ago
For somebody who is not a native speaker, this is rude why? Would men mind if you call them boys? I thought people do that all the time or is that only for men you are friends with?
Emilu 6 months ago (edited)
Calling women 'girls' is derogatory to enough women that I wouldn't recommend doing it, especially if a man does it (it's condescending). Can't speak to if men care about being called 'boys' -- I know not all will, as some refer to 'hanging with the boys' etc, but I wouldn't assume everyone likes it. I'd personally wait and see first.
Load More Replies...
Nikki Angulo 5 months ago
This should be higher. Women are guilty of this too. During the Olympics last year one of the Canadian female commentators said “the girls” when referring to some women athletes. On the flip side, the American Ninja Warrior announcers are great, always saying men and women, never girls, even when some of the competitors are now teenagers.
#23
I'm trying not to apologise for getting angry, call myself too sensitive, or frame my reactions as overreactions. It's felt very empowering so far :)
#24
Not a daily thing, but..
Was talking to a school friend, I know she has like 2-3 kids and stay at home mom bla bla. We were just reconnecting, and I asked just about her and her only! Not a single question of how's your family or how are the kids etc. Just, how are you, tell me about you, what are you thinking, what are you doing.. oooof!
It was new for her as well, coz the amount of time she was taking to put thought into these questions was pheww.. and she actually broke down and ranted 🥺
StrangeOne 6 months ago (edited)
Mothers do, and are expected to, put themselves dead last of priorities. Everything is about "Are you working?" "How's the husband?" "I bet you're so busy with cleaning and raising the kids." "You look so exhausted." "You need a fresh hair cut and some makeup." "Oh, are you buying that for your kids?" "What are your kids into?" "Are you planning on having more kids. You're getting to that age, you know." A mother barely has enough time to even remind herself of your previous hobbies, and her interests go out the window.
El Dee 6 months ago
Too often we become seen (and see ourselves) ONLY as mothers, wives etc It's way too easy to forget who you are..
StrangeOne 6 months ago
I have this vision of doing an art piece of a new mother with a hole in her stomach. She's hold her baby and arms and hands are reaching around her and through her to grab at her baby. When you're a new mom, everyone just wants to hold your baby, stare at you while nursing your baby, make snide comments about your body. I've even heard of a MIL try taking her grandchild while it was nursing. Mothers can feel ignored and violated, and only seen as a uterus.
Load More Replies... #25
I make sure I correct the salesperson when I’m actually next to be served but they defer to the man who just arrived.
Papa 6 months ago
Yes, regardless of whether the person who just arrived is a man or woman.
Load More Replies... #26
Give least one woman a day a compliment that doesn’t revolve around looks
Hollerfloozy 6 months ago
Examples: Hair style, clothes choices/colors, eye wear choice, say their choice of beverage/food is awesome, their shoes, a job well done, their choice of accessories, their dog/cat, the way they hold themselves.. it's easy...
Dr Jimmy 03 6 months ago
Energy, leadership, punctuality, & deflecting misogyny are my leads.
Load More Replies... RoRoRomantasy 6 months ago
Yes! It's so much more appreciated when someone compliments you on something other than "you're so pretty." Not that you shouldn't ever compliment looks, but don't make it the main reason you validate people. That sticks with them.
#27
Mine is consistently using the feminine gender when referring to God in my Christian church. She and Mother God word well. A lot less “Lord”
Skywitness 6 months ago
I have a problem with this. I just can't imagine an infinite being limited by gender.
jonesnori 6 months ago
You have a problem with using "she" but not with the standard "he"? Or am I misunderstanding your comment?
Load More Replies...
Tom Hutcherson 5 months ago
He - and if there is a God, I am convinced he is a he, because no woman could or would ever f**k things up this badly. George Carlin
CD Mills 6 months ago
Absolutely! You can't get more fictional than talking about 'gods'.
Load More Replies...
#28
If I see another women who obviously wants to get away from the dude who has cornered them at a bar, I walk by and cropdust. I also like to call certain types of men "little buddy" online. And my favorite is telling men to smile more.
StrangeOne 6 months ago
The Goddess sent angels are the ones who care enough to save you from the hounds of Hell at the bar.
#29
I'm at that age where I walk straight into the middle of the pack of teenage boys crowding the footpath and expect them to scatter.
Sally Moen 6 months ago
You tempt fate in doing that. Teenage boys are great at faking injury or taking offense at adults going about their business. I definitely ignore their pleas. Difficult to ignore vaping on the bus, and they are great rule-breakers, so I normally find a far off seat
#30
Refusing to ever write or say “Mrs” or “Miss” only Ms.
Michael Largey 6 months ago
I prefer using "Ms." because then I don't have to know or remember if the woman in question is married or not.
Sue 6 months ago
Plus, people in the South have been using "Miz" for both forever.
Load More Replies... #31
I don't move for anyone on the sidewalk unless they're pushing a stroller, walker, or walking a dog or child. I keep to the right, as is correct.
StrangeOne 6 months ago
Everyone should just move a little to the side, or do a little shoulder pivot, as I was taught in runway classes.
Papa 6 months ago
I didn't go to runway classes, so I just put my left hand behind my back to make a little more room.
Load More Replies... 
Rebecca O’Donnell 6 months ago
No, Rimjabbathehutt, it’s called consideration.
Load More Replies... #32
Being 5'11 telling "6' men" that they indeed cannot be 6' if they're shorter than me
Papa 6 months ago
You are absolutely right. It couldn't have anything to do with women wanting to only date tall men, could it?
Load More Replies... #33
Honestly, I’ve just let my entire existence become my resistance.
#34
Claiming all of my legroom on an airplane. If you're man-spreading into my space, prepare to awkwardly touch my calf the entire flight. Then I double down by taking both armrests if I'm in the middle.
Ahnjunwan 6 months ago
Well this is not a women exclusive problem. When i sit next to a big person, you think they shrink back in their own space because i am a man? Well, no....some people are just self centered
StrangeOne 6 months ago (edited)
It's pretty obvious when they're being obnoxious about their leg spread. Women, especially those with fatty pelvic areas, also naturally have a wider leg spread. Since seats are being made with a smaller area to sit on, and I notice this is on the buses, snuggling up to people is unfortunately going to happen. These days, the elbow room fighting is a bigger problem.
Michael Largey 6 months ago
I'm almost 6'4" and usually fly economy. I don't manspread because the pain is the same whether I do or don't.
Greenkitty 6 months ago
I believe I read somewhere that manspreading is a distinctly American thing.
Emilu 6 months ago
I am clearly unladylike as I will just 'man'-spread right back. I always wear pants when I fly, though, so there's that. I also hog the arm-rest if my seat-mate is a jerk. (I am also a jerk).😆
Sue 6 months ago
I had been doing it all my life & didn't realize it was a thing that only men did, but I did start noticing it more. However, the magazines in the 80's said just do it to - take up space. I did have an older woman get on my case once when woman-spreading, saying I was offering "it" up. I was wearing jeans. I just told her she was weird.
Load More Replies... #35
I’m a stand-up comedian. Whenever I see a lineup advertised that’s all men (usually all white men, too), I’ll leave a glowing comment about how wonderfully diverse their lineups are.
StrangeOne 6 months ago
But what if they're ignoring or not getting the sarcasm? Just be straight up honest.
Michael Largey 6 months ago
Right. They may see "diversity" as including men who are fat or bald.
Load More Replies... Rimjabbathehutt 6 months ago
Maybe they're just picking the funniest people and aren't interested in people crying about gender and race.
Lee Gilliland 6 months ago
Considering the majority of managements, I think this one's a tad subtle. The vast majority of comics are male anyway.
Dr Jimmy 03 6 months ago
And when the laughs are confused, ask, "What? Didn't you see that coming?"
#36
I spread my legs and nudge them if they get too close. When I was on a near empty bus I used to move seats if someone tried sitting next to me and bring out my pepper spray if he looked like was going to move again.
Zaach 6 months ago
I think carrying wasp spray is legal, more effective, and shoots further
Load More Replies... StrangeOne 6 months ago
People tend to want their own seats away from people. If someone is sitting next to me on an empty bus, that's a good sign they have creepy motives. I just move away.
Rimjabbathehutt 6 months ago
My response to you would be "please stop touching. I don't know you."
#37
Man spreading and using the arm rest while seated in a public place next to a man. Does my highly sensitive adhd ass hate my leg touching a stranger’s leg? 100% Do I refuse to make myself smaller anymore to make others feel more comfortable? 100% I’ll pick my battles.
Rebecca O’Donnell 6 months ago
So you’re telling us you go commando? TMI :)
Load More Replies... #38
I was walking with my son all the way nearly up next to a store wall and I noticed a man not moving outta the way coming toward me...it's the first time i really noticed-HE DIDN'T MOVE! I had to move to dodge him and nearly stepped on my kid. I was stunned & now I can't usee this bs
ohjojo (you/your's) 6 months ago
try raising your knee to c****h height. that might help
Load More Replies...
StrangeOne 6 months ago
I've seen this from both sexes. It's never okay. People who bulldoze through people suck.
Michael Largey 6 months ago
"Inertia. It's the most powerful force in the universe." - Nero Wolfe
RoRoRomantasy 6 months ago
Is this something only adults do? As someone still in school, youth group, etc I have to say the boys move more often than the girls. Even if they're distracted or on their phone, they step aside the instant they see someone coming.
Kristiina Männiste 6 months ago
There is a type - usually the burly, ugly, middle aged guys, who expect women to step aside. Weird but its never the good looking or smartly clothed guys, always the "one step above a b*m" type.
Load More Replies... El Dee 6 months ago
This is SO automatic that we rarely notice we're doing it. Men seem to have the 'right of way' and they are given this - WHY??
Ellinor she/they/elle 6 months ago
And they are not entitled to our space either.
Load More Replies... #39
I never use “guys.” Team, folks, colleagues, occasionally g**g, but not gals either.
Fuhleeheece 6 months ago
How about "friends and neighbors"? I always say this in class: "Okay, friends and neighbors, get to page 127."
Robin Lynn 6 months ago
Worked really hard as a middle school teacher to break that habit. Used Period 3, friends, students among others. Also stopped saying parents. Would tell the students, "Ask your adult at home ..." I didn't know everyone's individual situation and wanted to be as inclusive as possible.
#40
One of mine has always been paying for a meal/event tickets occasionally on a date. I can tell a lot by the way the guy responds.
StrangeOne 6 months ago (edited)
It's gotten so prevalent that dates are being used as a way to buy/bribe s*x from women (possibly vice versa, but haven't heard any instances of) if the man is paying her way, it's a good, safe idea for women to be paying for their own stuff. Makes the date less awkward, too, when both people can focus on getting to know each other.
Zena 6 months ago
Please name one time in history when this hasn't been prevalent? It isn't increasing in occurrence; it's the way it's always been (and it has always been wrong, in case I need to make clear that I'm not condoning it; just saying that it's nothing new and shouldn't be treated as such).
Load More Replies... Power puff scientist 6 months ago
I'm so all for this, normalize everyone pays for themselves in dates and friendships.
StrangeOne 6 months ago
I've come to the realization "normalize____" is equivalent to the "unpopular opinion". The "unpopular opinion" is the popular opinion. What people say to "normalize" has been normalized. Just an observation.
Load More Replies... Giraffe Sitter 6 months ago
To be fair, I’m sometimes uncomfortable when someone is overly generous regardless of their gender.
Michael Largey 6 months ago
The first date my now wife and I went on was to a McDonald's. Not a very romantic choice, but we didn't know it was a date until later in the evening.
#41
The Sheriff's Dept. Posted on Facebook a picture of their new deputies, fresh out of the academy. All men, of course. I posted a question, "Do you ever hire women?" And here came the trolls......
StrangeOne 6 months ago
These police academies are notoriously sexist, and tend to treat women members like a gag from Spencer's back walls. If there's no women, that is a clear sign women are either being dropped from recruitment and/or women are avoiding the hassle.
#42
I cuss and never apologize. Since I'm tall and big, I get misgendered as a man, so I say in my highest-pitched voices, "What do you mean, sir?" Always embarrasses dudes. I also wear a US Army veteran cap in the sun.
Kristiina Männiste 6 months ago
I hunt with a group of russian men (you can imagine the language). LOL they get so weird when I use the same language as them😂 One even bushed 😂 Like dude I learnt it from you! Most of the time I do not even know a non cussword russian word for the thing Im currently referring to. As a bonus my dad used to watch countless series about russian maffia when I was a kid so I now have to make a conscious effort to not sound like I spent 10 years in penal colonies when I speak russian😂
#43
I’m in a bowling league that’s majority men. It’s well-established courtesy to wait for the bowlers on the lanes next to you to finish their throw before you step up. If I’m up, and they ignore me, so they can go first, I bowl anyway.
Giraffe Sitter 6 months ago
If I were the woman in that situation, I’d be tempted to step back and tell the guy “ladies first”.
#44
Im no longer helping, teaching or instructing men. Can’t find the can opener? Can’t help you. Don’t know how to wash your wool sweater? Too bad. Need help choosing a bday gift for your mom? You’re on your own
StrangeOne 6 months ago
Does she expect him to respond the same way when she needs help? I'm not saying we should be our partner's caregivers, but some of us just need help with seemingly basic things. I don't think it's healthy to shame your spouse for asking for some help. But if it's the same thing, constantly, and they walk away without trying, then I would have a heart to heart convo with him.
Jill Rhodry 6 months ago
I'm not sure she's referring to her partner - she simply said 'men'
Load More Replies...
Tommy DePaul 5 months ago
In what capacity are you interacting with these inquisitive men? If teacher or department store clerk, you're fired. If as peers, you do you. I always found women wanted to share their expertise.
#45
I work in an office for a construction company. When I draw up contracts, I put the wife/female partner's name first before her man's. 🙂↕️🖤
El Dee 6 months ago
I remember being taught in school how to address things like invitations (yes, INVITATION - not 'invite') to married couples. It was SO terribly sexist - you would address them as eg Mr & Mrs John Smith. As though Mrs Smith didn't even have her own first name..
StrangeOne 6 months ago
Stems from the days when women were considered property. An unmarried women would always be addressed by her last name, her father's, as Miss or Ms. _____. When married she takes on her husbands last name and either addressed as his maiden name (her married name), her whole husband's first and last name, or "wife'. Her first name would be used casually by friends and her husband. Some husbands would actually forget his wife's first name.
Load More Replies... Magna Linnevers 6 months ago
Have to be careful with that as legally there is a difference between primary and co-signer.
#46
I used to refer to everyone on an anonymous mom’s site as ‘she’ even if I knew there were men posting. But I stopped because I didn’t want to cause dysphoria for trans folks.
#47
When I meet a male CEO I cheer “Boy Boss!”
Michael Largey 6 months ago
If I was a CEO, I'd really like that! (Of course, the Earth falling into the Sun will precede my being named the CEO of anything. I don't think I'm even the CEO of me.)
#49
Mine is marking every marital status box incorrectly because if I have to disclose my marriage in my “address”, men should too.
#50
Don't drag a woman for her looks. If her actions merit concern, discuss it. The whole Kerri Russell's hair is a mess in The Diplomat made my head spin. She was brilliant. That's it.
StrangeOne 6 months ago (edited)
In those cases, it's a direct criticism of the styling department. Not an insult to Kerri Russell for her acting.
#51
I work in an ER with a heavy rotation of travel nurses - I almost always ask the male MD residents if they are the new travel nurse. So they get to feel what the female residents feel with every new pt.
#52
Walking out of the house with less than perfect hair, clothes, and often little to no makeup. Not that serving amazing looks isn’t feminist, of course - it’s just to remind myself that if I match the effort the average man in my workplace puts into his appearance, it doesn’t make me any less professional.
Sally Moen 6 months ago
I like this one. Puts the focus on your actual job and away from being perfectly put together
RoRoRomantasy 6 months ago
Absolutely. I'm not dressing up for people if the guys aren't also expected to. If I put in any extra effort, you can bet it was because I felt like it that morning.
#53
Whenever I use an image of athletes in my class, I exclusively use women or girl athletes.
StrangeOne 6 months ago
Better would be to immediately call out and address those sexist comments boys make about girls and use that to educate them the error of their ways. Perhaps even use it as a class discussion where everyone can give their thoughts on the topic. I still remember that one guy in English who piped up, after a girl was excused to go to the washroom, "Why even let her go to the washroom? You know she just wants to change her tampon." That's just one example.
Zena 6 months ago
Did he want her to change it right there in the middle of class?
Load More Replies... #54
I look men directly in the eyes if I catch them looking at me, fix my gaze, and refuse to look away - like everytime they they glance again they see me looking at them - until they physically respond in some way (like completely turning away, talking to someone next to them, looking at their phone etc)
#55
When greeting a man I know, instead of a hug I give a handshake. I distinctly remember one time a guy shook my bf’s hand and then tried going in for a hug with me but I didn’t want to & he was very weirded out
Sally Moen 6 months ago
There is no place for hugs in greeting UNLESS its your long-lost grandma
Ahnjunwan 6 months ago
Dont know why you get downvoted, why would you hug somebody for greeting? That is so.....no!
Load More Replies...
#57
I call the dad first for emergency contacts for students when they’re sick.
StrangeOne 6 months ago
You should go down the list numerically as that's how the parents have it for a reason. I had my own mom first for contact because she was the emergency contact and owns a car. I had her dad somewhere in the bottom because I knew he would be unreliable. When it comes to child safety, there's no room for gender equality agendas. Someone needs to come to attend the child, and both parents should be responsible, or whomever.
Rimjabbathehutt 6 months ago
This is really, REALLY, immature. They're listed in an order for a reason. People have lost jobs over this.
Lizzy Lizzard 6 months ago
Should always call the parent listed first, including if it's the father! My husband works from home while I'm not allowed to have my phone on me at work. THe number of times the school has tried to get hold of me first over my husband was infuriating, but now they understand he should be the primary contact.
Michael Largey 6 months ago
With the spread of working from home, the father my be the one most available. And certainly more available than before.
#59
I'm an admin. A secretary, though a fairly high level one. We use initials a lot where I work, at a law firm. The attorneys (all male) all put their initials in upper case, while all the other staff (all female) use lower case. I use upper case. Always. No one's ever said anything.
StrangeOne 6 months ago
I thought all initials are supposed to be upper case. Who's using lower case?
jonesnori 6 months ago
It was customary to put the professional's initials in upper case and the assistant's in lower case to indicate who drafted a letter or document. This is a very old custom, which I haven't seen in years. Back then, the professional was almost always male, and the assistant was commonly female.
Load More Replies... #60
I'm pointing out any situations where the patriarchy is so baked in, it's not visibly noticable. This includes language and idioms that we take for granted.
Ellinor 6 months ago
In my language, the neutral is masculine. We actually don't have proper neutral terms and that angers me every time I want to talk about nonbinary people like Emma Darcy.
Sally Moen 6 months ago
I've seen some terrific invented and repurposed terms for non-binary folks, of course this is in the English language.
Load More Replies... #61
When I hear men say ‘that takes balls’ I say ‘you mean that takes ovaries’
#62
Sitting at the head of the table. Not apologizing for every little thing (or for getting old).
StrangeOne 6 months ago
I will never apologize for getting old and looking "tired". I work d**n hard and have a lot of responsibilities at home. I'm allowed to be exhausted. Don't tell me to drink some coffee or splash my face with cold water.
#63
Excusing myself from - or strategically avoiding - discussions with a mansplaining relative instead of allowing him to pull me into a lecture about a totally inconsequential topic. I'm surprised how many people allow him to control the energy in the room, laugh at all his unfunny jokes, and accept his egocentric and arrogant conversation style.
StrangeOne 6 months ago (edited)
"Oh, that's just Kyle being Kyle. He's not harming anyone, is he?" Why do families feel the need to invite the most unpleasant jerks to family functions just because they're related by blood?
#64
Have introduced several friends to my "ploy" . When I see men walking directly at me, I turn my back & look upwards. Maybe luck but it's always worked. Female friend & I did this recently, the group of men walked around us. Our husbands... actually sort of , kind of, were forced into the road.
jonesnori 6 months ago
As I said on another similar comment, my method is just to stop dead and make them go around or run into me. I actually do have an earlier stage in the transaction - I will put my arm out in front of me like a block. That is especially effective when the problem is people not paying attention.
Sally Moen 6 months ago
I've heard that looking up at an imaginary thing then pointing will make others look there too. I wonder if pointing at an imaginary thing directly over someone's shoulder would make them stop and turn to look. Whether that would make them yield, idk. But it would confuse them, which is awesome
StrangeOne 6 months ago
You just reminded me of a time me and my daughter noticed an aurora borealis just over the houses as we were walking up to our building. A group of men were standing out front smoking, stopped their conversation and watched us. The lights were a bit faint, as we were in a residential, suburban area, and I wasn't sure if it was a hazy cloud or if it was an aurora. (Too much light pollution to really see it clearly with all the colours.) Me and my daughter were excited because we don't see auroras much in our parts. I just hear "Is there a problem?" in what sounded like a tone of "Better move along or else." I told them what we were seeing and they didn't seem to care.
Load More Replies... #65
I no longer move out of the way for men. I don’t smile at them, or make small talk. I don’t owe them that. Actually, I never did. I just didn’t have a mother who taught me that because she is a misogynist herself.
#66
I walk faster than most people so I swerve to pass people while walking on busy footpaths. I do wish we would go back to walking on the same side of the footpath as when you drive on the road. In New Zealand that would be left side. That all seems to have disappeared in the last 20 odd years.
Sally Moen 6 months ago
This is very true. I see this alot of public trails where I'd like to pass people walking while I'm on my bicycle. Sometimes they are walking "against the stream" because they have a dog or a small child that insists on that side. Otherwise I announce myself politely and say I'm just trying to pass here!
StrangeOne 6 months ago
If this person walks faster than most people, no matter what, they would be having to go around people. You can't expect everyone to go the same pace.
#67
Mine lately has been "why is that the focus?" Any time a man tries to deflect when women are talking.
And the only way to avoid answering the question is going to be them ending the convo cuz there will be follow up if they give a non-answer
#68
Taking both armrests and spreading in the middle seat
#69
Whenever I’m at a red light and the driver next to me is a man who is obviously staring at me- I roll down my window, make eye contact, and initiate a staring contest.
StrangeOne 6 months ago
Just pay attention to what's in front of you and not what the next driver is doing. He likely wanted to race, which is just stupid.
Michael Largey 6 months ago
Some men will have something in mind considerably more sinister , so your advice is good.
Load More Replies... #70
For me it used to be opening doors or giving up my seat. Never again though.
Power puff scientist 6 months ago
i would love that, thank you so much. why never again though?
Katiekat 6 months ago
It goes with the trope that women are constantly expected to sacrifice, and lots of people actually like seeing women uncomfortable. Claiming space and comfort is a radical notion.
Load More Replies... #71
I’ve been calling out men’s mistakes at work and covering up women’s mistakes. Kind of how men have been doing for decades.
StrangeOne 6 months ago (edited)
That's gotta backfire at some point. Everyone should be held accountable.
#72
I have no idea but this year on Halloween I fake screamed when I saw my coworker, followed by “you dressed as a straight white male. Can’t think of anything scarier.”
#73
When men look like they are agro at each other, going to fight, or ones standing up to another one etc, I say omg yall are the cutest couple, where did yall meet?
StrangeOne 6 months ago
This is a prime example of toxic feminism. Using a marginalized group of people to lift up another marginalized group. Another word for that is being a bully.
Load More Replies... Michael Largey 6 months ago
How about minding your own business when you know nothing about the situation?
#74
Instead of saying “hey guys” I say “hey girls” and watch the guys heads explode. LOL
Michael Largey 6 months ago
I would merely assume the OP was not addressing me and go on with what I was doing.
#75
When I'm driving, I always let women go first. If we meet at the stop sign, they go first, unless they tell me to, then I respect them and listen. I let them cross the street with ease and wave and I watch out for them. I make sure everyone stops for them and if they don't, I honk them and intervene.
Power puff scientist 6 months ago
sounds like breaking traffic rules which just makes every situation more chaotic and unsafe.
Zena 6 months ago
Stopping for a pedestrian to cross the street is "breaking traffic rules"? I'd like to know where you live, so I can be extra alert if I ever travel there; sounds incredibly dangerous.
Load More Replies... #76
When serving drinks as a cocktail waitress to couples, I always serve the woman’s drink first and then look to the man when I’m requesting payment. 😂🤷🏽♀️
jonesnori 6 months ago
Yeah. I used to get very annoyed when people automatically brought the check to my male companion. It doesn't happen nearly as much now, at least where I live. And it was indeed old-fashioned custom to serve "ladies" first.
Load More Replies... #77
I call tall-ish men “short king”.
#78
Mine is my waitress correcting me that they are a server rather than a waitress.
Too bad. My waitress gets a big tip, but my smarmy server doesn’t.
Michael Largey 6 months ago
Why would the question of nomenclature even come up when ordering a meal?
What do you think ?
Dragons Exist 6 months ago
Being sexist towards guys who did nothing wrong (aka towards guys who aren't misogynistic) isn't feminism, it's misandry
Lorius Interruptus 6 months ago
It's not sexist towards guys to decide that you aren't going to cater to them. 🙄
Load More Replies... Ellinor 6 months ago
I'm going to be downvoted to hell but I will still say this : Women don't to these things because of pure hatred for men, they do this because they are angry at a society that doesn't listen to them, they are tired, and after thousand of years of trying to be nice and still not being taken seriously, women are turning from niceness to pettiness.
Power puff scientist 6 months ago
some of these i can fully understand but some of these are outright hateful though.
Load More Replies...
Power puff scientist 6 months ago
isn't saying you only use women as examples just as sexist? i thought we were building towards an equal society and this makes it seem some people just want the balance to swing the other way. hope then they also show women as plumbers, sewer workers, oil drillers and garbagecollectors. but seriously i think we need to support students and people of both sexes.
Mreoww 6 months ago
I agree. I remember seeing someone else’s idea where instead of using only women, they said they liked to use an even mix of genders and races. In my opinion, that’s much more fair.
Load More Replies... Tommy DePaul 5 months ago (edited)
There's a whole lot of unresolved anger here. As women approach equality with men, their incidence of cancer, heart disease, etc. will approach that of men (and their life expectancy will fall). Everything has its price.
Sarah M. 6 months ago
Why is the title "unhinged"??? Way to demean women standing up for themselves.
Dragons Exist 6 months ago
It's not "standing up for themselves" to be sexist to guys who aren't being misogynistic
Load More Replies... Dragons Exist 6 months ago
Being sexist towards guys who did nothing wrong (aka towards guys who aren't misogynistic) isn't feminism, it's misandry
Lorius Interruptus 6 months ago
It's not sexist towards guys to decide that you aren't going to cater to them. 🙄
Load More Replies... Ellinor 6 months ago
I'm going to be downvoted to hell but I will still say this : Women don't to these things because of pure hatred for men, they do this because they are angry at a society that doesn't listen to them, they are tired, and after thousand of years of trying to be nice and still not being taken seriously, women are turning from niceness to pettiness.
Power puff scientist 6 months ago
some of these i can fully understand but some of these are outright hateful though.
Load More Replies... Power puff scientist 6 months ago
isn't saying you only use women as examples just as sexist? i thought we were building towards an equal society and this makes it seem some people just want the balance to swing the other way. hope then they also show women as plumbers, sewer workers, oil drillers and garbagecollectors. but seriously i think we need to support students and people of both sexes.
Mreoww 6 months ago
I agree. I remember seeing someone else’s idea where instead of using only women, they said they liked to use an even mix of genders and races. In my opinion, that’s much more fair.
Load More Replies... Tommy DePaul 5 months ago (edited)
There's a whole lot of unresolved anger here. As women approach equality with men, their incidence of cancer, heart disease, etc. will approach that of men (and their life expectancy will fall). Everything has its price.
Sarah M. 6 months ago
Why is the title "unhinged"??? Way to demean women standing up for themselves.
Dragons Exist 6 months ago
It's not "standing up for themselves" to be sexist to guys who aren't being misogynistic
Load More Replies... You May Like 45 Women Inventors Who Changed The World And You May Not Even Know It 50 Feminist Posts That Call Out The Patriarchy With Zero Mercy “This Man Was A Literal Child”: 76 Times Men Assumed They Knew More Than Women
Eligijus Sinkunas
Ieva Pečiulytė
Ilona Baliūnaitė
Related on Bored Panda
