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“Wouldn’t Explain How”: Man Upset His Fiancée Wants A Female Stripper At Her Bachelorette
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“Wouldn’t Explain How”: Man Upset His Fiancée Wants A Female Stripper At Her Bachelorette

“Wouldn’t Explain How”: Man Upset His Fiancée Wants A Female Stripper At Her BacheloretteWoman Okays Fiancé Having Exotic Dancer At His Bachelor Party, He Bans Her From Having The Same“It Wasn’t Right For Me To Have One”: Man Balks After Fiancée’s Request For Her Hen PartyExotic Dancer’s Gender Divides Couple As Both Want A Female For Their Pre-Wedding PartiesMan Upset Over Bi Fiancé Wanting Female Dancer At Hen Party, Can’t Explain Why It’s Not “Right”“Wasn’t Right”: Man Won’t Allow Fiancée To Have A Female Exotic Dancer At Her Bachelorette PartyBisexual Woman Wants A Female Exotic Dancer For Bachelorette Party, Her Fiancé Freaks“Would Be Different”: Bi Woman Wants Female Dancer For Her Bachelorette, Her Fiancé Gets UpsetGuy Demands Fiancée Not Get A Female Exotic Dancer For Her Party
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Having a dancer at one’s bachelor or bachelorette party isn’t perhaps the norm, but many couples are ok with it. As with any relationship, it’s always good to run things by your partner but this can be hard when there are a lot of insecurities at play.

A woman turned to the internet for advice after a disagreement with her fiancé over the gender of the exotic dancer at her bachelorette party. As a bisexual woman, she wanted it to be a woman, which seemed to cause her partner a lot of concern, never mind the dancer he hired for his party. We reached out to the woman via private message and will update the article when she gets back to us.

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    Getting an exotic dancer for a pre-wedding party is a time-honored tradition

    Image credits: YuriArcursPeopleimages/Envato (not the actual photo)

    But one woman upset her fiancé when she wanted a female dancer for her bachelorette party

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    Image credits: Kohanova/Envato (not the actual photo)

    She later gave some more details in an edit

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    Image credits: aitawomanstripper

    Bachelor parties tend to be a bit wild

    Image credits: Kampus Production/Pexels (not the actual photo)

    The idea of a pre-wedding party for one or both of the couple is ancient, as most cultures have at least a handful of traditions related to it. The 5th century B.C. Spartans, for example, would host a males-only feast and toast the soon-to-be married man. However, the more modern version, involving raucous parties and dancers, might still be over a hundred years old.

    In 1896, Herbert Barnum Seeley, grandson of the infamous P.T. Barnum, threw a stag party for his brother that ended up being raided by the police. In a twist relevant for this story, the police were concerned about rumors that there would be a nude belly-dancer performing. For modern readers, this seems par for the course as far as bachelor’s parties go. It’s also worth considering that most likely Herbert Barnum Seeley didn’t just get this idea out of the blue, he was no doubt inspired by similar stories from his peers.

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    Seeley actually sued the police officer involved, which just helped shed public attention on the sorts of things that might be happening in high-society parties. As so often is the case, upper-class habits trickle down into the middle class, making these sorts of things more common. These days, there is a lot less judgment over this kind of behavior.

    The root cause of his issues might be some latent insecurities that they need to work through

    Image credits: Tim Douglas/Pexels (not the actual photo)

    This is all to say that having an exotic at a bachelor or bachelorette party isn’t that strange. Certainly, it’s not for everyone, but if both parties agree, more power to them. The real issue in this story is the man getting very defensive over his partner’s desire for a female dancer. On paper, this really should make her more relatable to him, as he is also getting a female dancer. However, it would appear that there is some latent biphobia going on.

    In short, some folks, either due to homophobia or insecurities, are “worried” by bisexual people. As the woman notes in the edits, her partner does not seem to be homophobic, so this just leaves us with the latter possibility. Some readers and commenters do insist that he must be homophobic, but it’s best to leave those sorts of value judgments up to the people who actually know him in real life, not through a handful of sentences on the internet.

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    Simply put, there is a decent chance that this man has a latent fear that his partner will leave him for a woman. After all, he might simply believe that a woman can give her things he never could, so he can’t even compete. This might seem silly, but many of us really do struggle with some sort of insecurities here and there.

    Ultimately, this truly is a double standard from the man’s side. Why should he get an exotic dancer while denying his partner one. If he thinks she will suddenly have second thoughts after seeing a female dancer, he is really not ready to get married. After all, she will also see multiple women while heading to the grocery store. If he is afraid of her cheating at her bachelorette party, this really seems like a self-tell. After all, his party will feature an entertainer, should she be concerned?

    Many readers thought she did nothing wrong

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    Justin Sandberg

    Justin Sandberg

    Writer, BoredPanda staff

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    I am a writer at Bored Panda. Despite being born in the US, I ended up spending most of my life in Europe, from Latvia, Austria, and Georgia to finally settling in Lithuania. At Bored Panda, you’ll find me covering topics ranging from the cat meme of the day to red flags in the workplace and really anything else. In my free time, I enjoy hiking, beating other people at board games, cooking, good books, and bad films.

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    Justin Sandberg

    Justin Sandberg

    Writer, BoredPanda staff

    I am a writer at Bored Panda. Despite being born in the US, I ended up spending most of my life in Europe, from Latvia, Austria, and Georgia to finally settling in Lithuania. At Bored Panda, you’ll find me covering topics ranging from the cat meme of the day to red flags in the workplace and really anything else. In my free time, I enjoy hiking, beating other people at board games, cooking, good books, and bad films.

    Ilona Baliūnaitė

    Ilona Baliūnaitė

    Author, BoredPanda staff

    Read more »

    I'm a Visual Editor at Bored Panda since 2017. I've searched through a multitude of images to create over 2000 diverse posts on a wide range of topics. I love memes, funny, and cute stuff, but I'm also into social issues topics. Despite my background in communication, my heart belongs to visual media, especially photography. When I'm not at my desk, you're likely to find me in the streets with my camera, checking out cool exhibitions, watching a movie at the cinema or just chilling with a coffee in a cozy place

    Read less »

    Ilona Baliūnaitė

    Ilona Baliūnaitė

    Author, BoredPanda staff

    I'm a Visual Editor at Bored Panda since 2017. I've searched through a multitude of images to create over 2000 diverse posts on a wide range of topics. I love memes, funny, and cute stuff, but I'm also into social issues topics. Despite my background in communication, my heart belongs to visual media, especially photography. When I'm not at my desk, you're likely to find me in the streets with my camera, checking out cool exhibitions, watching a movie at the cinema or just chilling with a coffee in a cozy place

    What do you think ?
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    Paul C
    Community Member
    3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I don't understand why either of them wants a stripper at the party before they marry. I really am getting old and out of touch with this world.

    Bookworm
    Community Member
    Premium
    3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The fact that he can't explain why he thinks it's wrong suggests to me that part of the issue here is some internalized biphobia that he may not even have realized he had up to this point. A lot of times when things just 'feel wrong' that's societal messaging at work. Definitely something they need to work through before any wedding happens.

    Tabitha
    Community Member
    3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Or he knows exactly how he feels, but doesn’t want to come out and say it because the result is a foregone conclusion. He will risk losing both the fiancée and the stripper/bachelor party. Maybe he thought that, since OP was engaged to him, that she had done the impossible—-all for HIS benefit, of course, the hell with HER feelings about it—-and somehow m aged to magically change from bi to het. It’s b******t I know, but some people are prey to believing b******t, especially when they’re convinced the world revolves around them and it confirms their biases. Either way, his reaction doesn’t bode well for the future of their relationship. OP needs to find someone a lot more evolved than the knuckledragger masquerading as a modern human she’s engaged to.

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    Paul C
    Community Member
    3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I don't understand why either of them wants a stripper at the party before they marry. I really am getting old and out of touch with this world.

    Bookworm
    Community Member
    Premium
    3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The fact that he can't explain why he thinks it's wrong suggests to me that part of the issue here is some internalized biphobia that he may not even have realized he had up to this point. A lot of times when things just 'feel wrong' that's societal messaging at work. Definitely something they need to work through before any wedding happens.

    Tabitha
    Community Member
    3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Or he knows exactly how he feels, but doesn’t want to come out and say it because the result is a foregone conclusion. He will risk losing both the fiancée and the stripper/bachelor party. Maybe he thought that, since OP was engaged to him, that she had done the impossible—-all for HIS benefit, of course, the hell with HER feelings about it—-and somehow m aged to magically change from bi to het. It’s b******t I know, but some people are prey to believing b******t, especially when they’re convinced the world revolves around them and it confirms their biases. Either way, his reaction doesn’t bode well for the future of their relationship. OP needs to find someone a lot more evolved than the knuckledragger masquerading as a modern human she’s engaged to.

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