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Lady’s Kids In Their 30s Find It Hilarious That Her 24YO Fiancé Expects Them To Call Him Dad
Being a stepparent takes a lot of love, effort, and care, as you have to maintain your relationship with your partner and also build one with their children. Things can get even more complicated if you’re dating someone who has adult kids because then they’ll definitely have strong opinions.
This is the situation a young man found himself in after getting involved with a woman more than twice his age. He really wanted to be a father figure to her kids, but they didn’t take him seriously since they were all older than him.
RELATED:
When becoming a part of a new family, it’s best not to make waves or demands too soon until you develop a good rapport with everyone
Image credits: fauxels / Pexels (not the actual photo)
A 35-year-old man shared that his dad passed away when he was very young, leaving behind his mom and two siblings and that sometime after his death, she began dating again
Image credits: Freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Eventually, his mother got engaged to a 24-year-old man who is younger than all three of her kids
Image credits: Andrea Piacquadio / Pexels (not the actual photo)
Her fiancé didn’t seem to mind the age gap and told her children that he knew he wouldn’t ever be able to replace their father but that he would love it if they would call him dad
Image credits: Matheus Bertelli / Pexels (not the actual photo)
The woman’s adult son found her fiancé’s request hilarious and told him that he felt it was weird, which made the man upset, and he ended up leaving
Image credits: Marcus Aurelius / Pexels (not the actual photo)
The eldest son got reprimanded by his mom for upsetting her partner, and even though she acknowledged that his request was “kooky,” she wanted her kids to go along with it
Image credits: ThrowRA_SonOfSands
The guy asked netizens for advice on how to avoid offending his mom and her fiancé while still letting them know that the request was weird and “borderline offensive”
The man and his siblings had accepted their mom’s latest beau and wanted her to be happy. The only issue they had was when the 24-year-old guy, who is younger than all of them, wanted to be called “dad.” It clearly seemed to mean a lot to him, and he felt offended when his fiancée’s adult kids found his request extremely hilarious.
When stepparents want to bring about such a big change in their stepkids’ lives, they need to first have a discussion with their partner about it. The biological parent and the stepparent need to decide how they are going to parent the children and what exactly that will look like. If they aren’t on the same page, it can cause the kids to act out.
The woman’s adult children were definitely against the idea of calling her fiancé dad. The poster said that it felt uncomfortable because he is a decade older than the other man and also because he didn’t want to bestow the title on anyone else but his deceased dad. Experts also state that stepparents shouldn’t force such decisions upon their stepkids.
It is important to take the transition slowly and let the child take the lead. Or else, forcing a relationship and making demands from them can cause push back and lead to a rift. The biological parent can also help make things easier for their kids and their partner by taking the lead and having open and honest discussions.
Image credits: Jasmin Wedding Photography / Pexels (not the actual photo)
Since the mom’s fiancé, Phil, kept pushing his grown stepkids to call him dad, the poster said that he and his siblings had planned to put their foot down. In an update post, the OP shared that he and his brother tried making Phil uncomfortable by calling him “daddy” and eventually told him that they didn’t consider him their father.
Obviously this did not go down well and caused a huge conflict between all family members. This is, of course, a unique case where the stepkids are older than the stepparent, which is also why there was so much pushback from the woman’s children.
No matter what the situation, it’s advised that parents and stepparents seek counseling for themselves and the kids. This will help them take a step back and accommodate their needs and those of the children. Over time, the conflicts between the stepkids and their parent’s new partner may also be minimized.
When parents with adult children date or marry someone new, they need to acknowledge the complex emotions their kids may have. There might be grief about their deceased or absent parent, and a feeling of divided loyalty. That’s why parents need to keep their children in the loop and make them also feel valued and heard.
The poster’s mom was initially angry about the conflict that her kids had with her partner, but she eventually understood their point of view. The OP did tell netizens in his update that he felt that his mom’s marriage with Phil was off since the guy had disappeared.
What do you think about this situation? Do you think the man was justified to ask his partner’s grown-up children to call him dad?
People told the poster to put his foot down with Phil and figure out exactly what his endgame was
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What do you think ?
Susie Elle 2 weeks ago
Both mom and the boyfriend need a reality check in the form of therapy.
Apatheist Account2 2 weeks ago
It's perfectly normal to call even an older parent by their first name, not a relationship name. His particular picnic is missing a sandwich.
Tabitha 2 weeks ago
His picnic basket looks good from the outside, but on the inside it’s 100% empty.
Load More Replies...
A S Mora 2 weeks ago
IVF at 58?!! Ma'am, you may not live to see that child to graduation! And why is this baby of 24yo so set on being a dad that he is trying to parent three adults who either pushing or solidly in their 30s? And I thought my parents nine year age gap was the biggest ick 🤨🙄
Tabitha 2 weeks ago (edited)
She may not be healthy enough to handle the pregnancy, much less the birth. She’s not the healthy young woman she was thirty years ago—the last time she was pregnant. Now I’m 64, and have no issue with retaining your youthful qualities and outlook when you’re older. Notice I said youthful, not young. You can be an older and more mature adult and still have a youthful aura about you. But you are not young anymore, and need to be more careful than you were when you were young. You have (hopefully) gained a lot of wisdom as you aged, and now is the time to use it. Otherwise you’ll be taken advantage of by unscrupulous people and end up just looking foolish and way too naive for your age.
Load More Replies...
Tabitha 2 weeks ago (edited)
The fantasy, pipe dreams, and delusion here are piled so high and deep you need to wear hip boots to navigate through it without getting any if it on you. These people are well overdue for a reality check. One, the 24 year old is just playacting at being a “father” and family “man” right now—-until he gets bored of it, or scared shitless of all the grown up responsibilities, as well as his SO the mother, and decides to just disappear off the face of the Earth. Two, the mother is just flattered that someone so young is apparently planning a future with her, even though: see my previous statement. Three, we know money might not be his motive, because she doesn’t have much, but he could still run off with the little she does have. The worst is the blow it will be to the mother when her little “love story” crashes and burns. She might never recover, emotionally and financially. It would be best to encourage them to have a very long engagement. It would test his sticking power, as well as hers. She already raised her children. She doesn’t need to bring another child into her life right now—-and I’m talking about the fiancé just as much as the pipe dream IVF baby neither of them can afford to have, and you know damned well he won’t stick around for if she passes on while the child is little.
Grenelda Thurber 2 weeks ago
Yeah, there's no way this is going to end well. He probably won't be around very long, even if a wedding happens. The two of them have created this weird alternate reality where all these things are possible. They won't be able to twist actual reality into the alternate reality, and then everything is going to get ugly. I think we've some serious mental illness going on here.
Load More Replies...
Janelle Collard 2 weeks ago (edited)
If mom's "fiancé" had said this to me, I would've laughed in his face, patted his shoulder + told him, "Good one, dude!" before I walked away. If "fiancé" kept at it, I'd call him "My mom's boy toy" + ignore him.
Donkey boi 2 weeks ago
As it is my duty to be a voice of reason, compromise, and understanding; To be an advocate for all people and things; I think we need to weigh everything up. All of the things said, and those unsaid. It's clear that OP's situation is not one of normality, but also not unheard of. When we look at those other examples of how younger step-parents can work, as well as how it cannot, I feel it is perfectly acceptable to come to the conclusion that the future step-father is somewhat delusional. Expecting someone older than you to call you 'dad' is just nuts!
Captain Grump 2 weeks ago
Quite honestly, it's nuts to press the issue with any kid that is not yours. Wouldn't even matter if the mother's new husband was 50 and the kid was 10. A kid should never be forced to call a non-parent Mom or Dad. My father died 13 years ago, and if my mother remarried the new guy would never be my father. He might be "father like", and I might even grow to see him that way. But I had a father, and I would never dishonour his memory by calling anyone else Dad.
Load More Replies... Boris Long-Johnson 2 weeks ago (edited)
As someone with got two step parent (who are lovely btw) when I was an adult (parents divorced around my 18th) and a “gran” by marriage (she was always by gran for as long as I remember) when I was about 2 they can bolt. I’d be calling him by his name if they wanted me to have anything to do with him. Your mum and dad are about who cares for you and who looked after you NOT who your parent married, not even the sperm donor / crock pot.
Schmebulock 2 weeks ago
This dude is a fucktard and both him and the mom are delusional. I mean something is seriously wrong with him and it won't end well.
Rebecca Joan 2 weeks ago
I scrolled to the bottom because this sound super fake number one if a 24-year-old wants to be a dad he’s not gonna shack up with a 60-year-old with kids older than him. So that’s number one, and after that, I don’t really give a s**t to read anymore or care about it obviously fake story.
CBolt 3 days ago
Oh, but you should! Everybody deserves some hilarity in their lives.
Load More Replies... Mark Childers 2 weeks ago
I think the guy could, if he was otherwise on really good terms with the new "stepdad," look at it as having a close friend rather than a stepfather type relationship. He mentioned going camping and joining clubs together. Seems pretty harmless and kinda fun and a great way to make a new friend. After all, this relationship probably won't last after the stepdad realizes he's never going to have a kid with his current wife. He's still very young. He'll grow to resent the situation that kept him from his dreams. It's not a great situation. But this guy could walk away from it all with a new friend (as long as it didn't bother the mom).
CBolt 3 days ago
But Faux Dad doesn't want to be friends - he wants a father/son relationship - camping trips, coaching his son's Little League team, teaching him how to fish. OP & his brother can't fill this rôle for him. If he's looking to be the traditional dad (who's generally not 10 years younger than his children), he needs to have a partner who's closer to his age & still within her childbearing years. Of course, there's nothing wrong at all with IVF but pregnancy at the age of OP's mom is high risk. In fact, women over 30 who are pregnant are often referred to as "geriatric." Something's just "off" here. I wonder if his desperation to be a dad has scared off women in his his age group who may get the impression he's simply looking for a "breeder."
Load More Replies...
Yu Pan 2 weeks ago (edited)
Op also needs to make it *really* clear to both mom and BF that he and his siblings will not be responsible to take care of the IVF baby--ever! Mom will hit 60s when the kid is just a toddler, will she be able to keep up with them? BF is just trying too hard it's pathetic and disgusting. Dude is so insecure, he's probably using marriage to prove his worth. Build up your confidence and work on yourself first, little dude, before you commit a lifelong responsibility. Edit: after reading the update, I feel sorry about BF and now mad mad at the mom. A woman twice his age takes advantage of a troubled young man and manipulate him into believing her, a 58 year old probably already in menopause woman, can give him a child and a family he craves! And she sees nothing wrong with this relationship! Mom, you ought to be disgusted with yourself. And BF, get help.
James King 1 week ago
"I'm a decade older than you. It is NOT happening, period, end-of-story, don't bring it up again. Join Big Brothers if you want to be a father figure."
Paul Jayne 2 weeks ago
The boyfriend has more problems than can be listed here. Mother also sounds like she is living in a fantasy world. Tell the soon-to-be stepdad a big NO and let him deal with it.
Scott Rackley 2 weeks ago
Ummm...just no. I'd be finding other people to deal with that weren't so, well, creepy.
Robin Roper 2 weeks ago (edited)
Guy is both delusional and immature not to mention dumb for being with a woman who would be considered past child bearing age and already has a family if he wanted to be a father. That is a level of lacking self awareness that is epic. I'd have laughed my behind off had this been said to me. Both mom and boyfriend/fiance need a therapist.
KatSaidWhat 2 weeks ago
I should have just stopped at the first paragraph but felt compelled to go spiralling down WTF lane anyway...
Captain Grump 2 weeks ago
Here's the Captain's rules for non-Freudian dating and marriage. The person you screw/date/marry needs to be at least ten years younger than your parents, and ten years older than your kids. Twenty is even better.
Susie Elle 2 weeks ago
Both mom and the boyfriend need a reality check in the form of therapy.
Apatheist Account2 2 weeks ago
It's perfectly normal to call even an older parent by their first name, not a relationship name. His particular picnic is missing a sandwich.
Tabitha 2 weeks ago
His picnic basket looks good from the outside, but on the inside it’s 100% empty.
Load More Replies... A S Mora 2 weeks ago
IVF at 58?!! Ma'am, you may not live to see that child to graduation! And why is this baby of 24yo so set on being a dad that he is trying to parent three adults who either pushing or solidly in their 30s? And I thought my parents nine year age gap was the biggest ick 🤨🙄
Tabitha 2 weeks ago (edited)
She may not be healthy enough to handle the pregnancy, much less the birth. She’s not the healthy young woman she was thirty years ago—the last time she was pregnant. Now I’m 64, and have no issue with retaining your youthful qualities and outlook when you’re older. Notice I said youthful, not young. You can be an older and more mature adult and still have a youthful aura about you. But you are not young anymore, and need to be more careful than you were when you were young. You have (hopefully) gained a lot of wisdom as you aged, and now is the time to use it. Otherwise you’ll be taken advantage of by unscrupulous people and end up just looking foolish and way too naive for your age.
Load More Replies... Tabitha 2 weeks ago (edited)
The fantasy, pipe dreams, and delusion here are piled so high and deep you need to wear hip boots to navigate through it without getting any if it on you. These people are well overdue for a reality check. One, the 24 year old is just playacting at being a “father” and family “man” right now—-until he gets bored of it, or scared shitless of all the grown up responsibilities, as well as his SO the mother, and decides to just disappear off the face of the Earth. Two, the mother is just flattered that someone so young is apparently planning a future with her, even though: see my previous statement. Three, we know money might not be his motive, because she doesn’t have much, but he could still run off with the little she does have. The worst is the blow it will be to the mother when her little “love story” crashes and burns. She might never recover, emotionally and financially. It would be best to encourage them to have a very long engagement. It would test his sticking power, as well as hers. She already raised her children. She doesn’t need to bring another child into her life right now—-and I’m talking about the fiancé just as much as the pipe dream IVF baby neither of them can afford to have, and you know damned well he won’t stick around for if she passes on while the child is little.
Grenelda Thurber 2 weeks ago
Yeah, there's no way this is going to end well. He probably won't be around very long, even if a wedding happens. The two of them have created this weird alternate reality where all these things are possible. They won't be able to twist actual reality into the alternate reality, and then everything is going to get ugly. I think we've some serious mental illness going on here.
Load More Replies... Janelle Collard 2 weeks ago (edited)
If mom's "fiancé" had said this to me, I would've laughed in his face, patted his shoulder + told him, "Good one, dude!" before I walked away. If "fiancé" kept at it, I'd call him "My mom's boy toy" + ignore him.
Donkey boi 2 weeks ago
As it is my duty to be a voice of reason, compromise, and understanding; To be an advocate for all people and things; I think we need to weigh everything up. All of the things said, and those unsaid. It's clear that OP's situation is not one of normality, but also not unheard of. When we look at those other examples of how younger step-parents can work, as well as how it cannot, I feel it is perfectly acceptable to come to the conclusion that the future step-father is somewhat delusional. Expecting someone older than you to call you 'dad' is just nuts!
Captain Grump 2 weeks ago
Quite honestly, it's nuts to press the issue with any kid that is not yours. Wouldn't even matter if the mother's new husband was 50 and the kid was 10. A kid should never be forced to call a non-parent Mom or Dad. My father died 13 years ago, and if my mother remarried the new guy would never be my father. He might be "father like", and I might even grow to see him that way. But I had a father, and I would never dishonour his memory by calling anyone else Dad.
Load More Replies... Boris Long-Johnson 2 weeks ago (edited)
As someone with got two step parent (who are lovely btw) when I was an adult (parents divorced around my 18th) and a “gran” by marriage (she was always by gran for as long as I remember) when I was about 2 they can bolt. I’d be calling him by his name if they wanted me to have anything to do with him. Your mum and dad are about who cares for you and who looked after you NOT who your parent married, not even the sperm donor / crock pot.
Schmebulock 2 weeks ago
This dude is a fucktard and both him and the mom are delusional. I mean something is seriously wrong with him and it won't end well.
Rebecca Joan 2 weeks ago
I scrolled to the bottom because this sound super fake number one if a 24-year-old wants to be a dad he’s not gonna shack up with a 60-year-old with kids older than him. So that’s number one, and after that, I don’t really give a s**t to read anymore or care about it obviously fake story.
CBolt 3 days ago
Oh, but you should! Everybody deserves some hilarity in their lives.
Load More Replies... Mark Childers 2 weeks ago
I think the guy could, if he was otherwise on really good terms with the new "stepdad," look at it as having a close friend rather than a stepfather type relationship. He mentioned going camping and joining clubs together. Seems pretty harmless and kinda fun and a great way to make a new friend. After all, this relationship probably won't last after the stepdad realizes he's never going to have a kid with his current wife. He's still very young. He'll grow to resent the situation that kept him from his dreams. It's not a great situation. But this guy could walk away from it all with a new friend (as long as it didn't bother the mom).
CBolt 3 days ago
But Faux Dad doesn't want to be friends - he wants a father/son relationship - camping trips, coaching his son's Little League team, teaching him how to fish. OP & his brother can't fill this rôle for him. If he's looking to be the traditional dad (who's generally not 10 years younger than his children), he needs to have a partner who's closer to his age & still within her childbearing years. Of course, there's nothing wrong at all with IVF but pregnancy at the age of OP's mom is high risk. In fact, women over 30 who are pregnant are often referred to as "geriatric." Something's just "off" here. I wonder if his desperation to be a dad has scared off women in his his age group who may get the impression he's simply looking for a "breeder."
Load More Replies... Yu Pan 2 weeks ago (edited)
Op also needs to make it *really* clear to both mom and BF that he and his siblings will not be responsible to take care of the IVF baby--ever! Mom will hit 60s when the kid is just a toddler, will she be able to keep up with them? BF is just trying too hard it's pathetic and disgusting. Dude is so insecure, he's probably using marriage to prove his worth. Build up your confidence and work on yourself first, little dude, before you commit a lifelong responsibility. Edit: after reading the update, I feel sorry about BF and now mad mad at the mom. A woman twice his age takes advantage of a troubled young man and manipulate him into believing her, a 58 year old probably already in menopause woman, can give him a child and a family he craves! And she sees nothing wrong with this relationship! Mom, you ought to be disgusted with yourself. And BF, get help.
James King 1 week ago
"I'm a decade older than you. It is NOT happening, period, end-of-story, don't bring it up again. Join Big Brothers if you want to be a father figure."
Paul Jayne 2 weeks ago
The boyfriend has more problems than can be listed here. Mother also sounds like she is living in a fantasy world. Tell the soon-to-be stepdad a big NO and let him deal with it.
Scott Rackley 2 weeks ago
Ummm...just no. I'd be finding other people to deal with that weren't so, well, creepy.
Robin Roper 2 weeks ago (edited)
Guy is both delusional and immature not to mention dumb for being with a woman who would be considered past child bearing age and already has a family if he wanted to be a father. That is a level of lacking self awareness that is epic. I'd have laughed my behind off had this been said to me. Both mom and boyfriend/fiance need a therapist.
KatSaidWhat 2 weeks ago
I should have just stopped at the first paragraph but felt compelled to go spiralling down WTF lane anyway...
Captain Grump 2 weeks ago
Here's the Captain's rules for non-Freudian dating and marriage. The person you screw/date/marry needs to be at least ten years younger than your parents, and ten years older than your kids. Twenty is even better.
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