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Female Employees Have Had Enough Of Planning Secret Santa, All Refuse To Participate This Year
Interview With Expert
It’s a strange world we live in. How else could you explain why people give celebrations a “gender”? Oddly enough, our society is so steeped in stereotypes that even a trivial team-building activity at work can get labeled as a “woman’s job.”
These female coworkers refused to take it anymore after being expected to put in extra labor to organize Secret Santa in their male-dominated field—every year. Their boss was taken aback by their refusal, and instead of asking male colleagues to do it, he just decided to cancel it altogether!
More info: Reddit
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Image credits: Christina Morillo / Pexels (not the actual photo)
The poster works in a male-dominated field where she and another woman are the only female workers in a team of 15
Image credits: Throuwuawayy
Image credits: cookie_studio / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Unfairly, every year, the responsibility of organizing Secret Santa falls on these two just because they are women, so they refused to do so this year
Image credits: Throuwuawayy
Image credits: fauxels / Pexels (not the actual photo)
Their boss was so shocked when they didn’t “volunteer” for it that he even singled the poster out, but she politely declined
Image credits: Throuwuawayy
Instead of asking any of the men to arrange it, the boss straightaway canceled Secret Santa after the two women refused
Today, we dive into another workplace story where you will see the blatant gender discrimination that the original poster (OP) faced. She works in a male-dominated field with just one other female coworker in a team of 15, and organizing Secret Santa silently fell on their shoulders every year, even when it wasn’t in their job description.
Sadly, about four in ten working women (42%) in the United States say they have faced discrimination on the job because of their gender. The poster and her female coworker are part of this group, as they were expected to “volunteer” their extra labor without pay, reminding the men about their recipients while the men asked their wives to buy the Secret Santa gifts.
To gain a deeper understanding of gender discrimination and stereotypes in the workplace, Bored Panda interviewed Apoorva Kale, an industrial and organizational psychology practitioner.
She narrated that when additional tasks unrelated to the job fall upon marginalized groups or women, it can reinforce stereotypical views leading to assumptions that other groups are more competent and are making real contributions. As per her, these women might be perceived by others as not important or authoritative in the organization, undermining their professional credibility.
“This will affect their morale and workplace engagement, resulting in withdrawal, doubting their competency, lack of trust towards their leadership team, low self-esteem, and low work satisfaction. When employees feel less valued and deal with unfair responsibility distribution, job satisfaction will decline dramatically as a result of decreased motivation.”
“Being assigned disproportionate responsibilities, employees will feel a sense of dissatisfaction, frustration, and lost sense of professionalism, this will also lead employees to resign and look for jobs with respect, appreciation, and equality, increasing the turnover rates,” Apoorva added.
Image credits: Aminaashfaq / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The poster and her female colleague were also fed up with this additional, unpaid task, already burned out by their work. They finally decided to take action and didn’t raise their hands when their boss asked who wanted to participate in Secret Santa this year. Well, this surprised him, so he singled out the OP, but she politely declined.
Now, this man completely ignored the men who had raised their hands and declared, “I guess we are passing on Secret Santa this year.” When the story went viral, folks were simply baffled by the boss not even thinking of asking the other men to do it, calling out his discriminatory behavior.
Apoorva explained that when informal responsibilities like event planning are dumped on women as compared to their male counterparts, there’s a shift in the team dynamics as well, which might impact the work environment. The poster’s decision to stop being forced into organizing the event seems like an amazing decision, and many women applauded her.
We also spoke to Apoorva about how organizations can ensure that non-job-related tasks, like event planning, are distributed equitably, rather than defaulting to gendered expectations. She said that to avoid any gender-related disparities, the organizations should promote inclusivity, fairness, and transparency, which can be addressed by creating guidelines.
“These guidelines should define how non-job-related tasks should be assigned based on interest, skill set, and availability, encourage participation by all the employees of the organization by providing rotating volunteering schedules to avoid any implicit bias, check in with the teams regularly and track what tasks are being completed to avoid unfair distribution of responsibilities,” Apoorva advised.
Well, that does sound like a wonderful solution, which might help organizations navigate these events without making women feel discriminated against. Wouldn’t you agree? Have you ever experienced something similar at work? Feel free to narrate your stories in the comments below.
Netizens didn’t hesitate to call out the gender bias at the poster’s workplace and her discriminatory boss
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What do you think ?
Fabulous chocolate cookie 2 weeks ago
What surprised me the most is how people reported the reddit post, causing the reddit helpline to message the author. Doesn't reddit only do that when someone wants to unalive themselves?
Nina 2 weeks ago
It is indeed meant for people who seem to be in need of help, but unfortunately sometimes gets abused by trolls.
Load More Replies...
Apatheist Account2 3 weeks ago
Stupid tradition, never participated, never wanted to, never will.
Do-nut touch da donut 2 weeks ago
Not a fan of secret santa... i much prefer white elephant/dirty santa... less strict and much more fun amongst friends
Load More Replies...
Justme 2 weeks ago
As the department administrative assistant I was always unfairly burdened with potlucks. Staff would literally show up at my desk at 8am with a casserole or a crock pot trying to make me responsible for it all day. And then they would “kindly” leave their dish in the conference room for me to deal with “so I could have leftovers”. No. Not cool. I have a desk full of work to get back to also and won’t be spending the rest of my afternoon cleaning up after you. One year we did a picnic theme with a sandwich-bar and I walked in at 8am to find a BAG OF GROCERIES on my desk. I was expected to wash, cut, and lay out sandwich veggies. I started scheduling days off more carefully after that and never participated in a potluck ever again.
michelle s 2 weeks ago (edited)
Boss is an A*s. The correct response should have been when it was obvious that other employees wanted to participate that he take on the role. It actually does not cause any work if like our office the names are put in a santa generator. My colleague who organises it does this as we split the party responsibilities as we get our team from all over the country involved. Therefore, there is no chance for slips of paper or "who did I get?". Once you click on it the generated name is your responsibility and nobody elses
zovjraar me 2 weeks ago
we're doing SS this year just for the ladies in the office. there's about 10 of us, though.
KatSaidWhat 3 weeks ago
Tbh, I instigated secret santa this year because us admin lackeys work for rich doctors and they always bring nice stuff to the table. The rest of us get what we think the others would like because there is the opportunity to "steal" - basically only 1 or 2 might be disappointed and we have already discussed that if we don't like what we get, now we have a stocking filler for fam/friends. If organised well and people are keen, it can be fun. But equally if someone doesn't want to be in, there is no pressure and they can just spectate or even referee as necessary.
FreeTheUnicorn 3 weeks ago
Secret Santa at work is really strange, so good for OP for abstaining. But like so many things, there's a website for that. Several in fact, you have the people interested add their names to the group, everyone is randomly assigned. Takes two minutes. Super weird the guys with their hands up didn't get picked as captains, but sounds like a horrible work place all around.
Hidalgo 2 weeks ago
Maybe the men just didn’t want secret santa or any of that other stuff like monthly bday parties? All fakey hr c**p anyway
Judes 2 weeks ago
Or maybe you didn't even read the first few sentences! ALL the men put their hands up when asked if they wanted to participate in the Secret Santa. The ONLY people who didn't put their hands up were the two women.
Load More Replies...
Fabulous chocolate cookie 2 weeks ago
What surprised me the most is how people reported the reddit post, causing the reddit helpline to message the author. Doesn't reddit only do that when someone wants to unalive themselves?
Nina 2 weeks ago
It is indeed meant for people who seem to be in need of help, but unfortunately sometimes gets abused by trolls.
Load More Replies... Apatheist Account2 3 weeks ago
Stupid tradition, never participated, never wanted to, never will.
Do-nut touch da donut 2 weeks ago
Not a fan of secret santa... i much prefer white elephant/dirty santa... less strict and much more fun amongst friends
Load More Replies... Justme 2 weeks ago
As the department administrative assistant I was always unfairly burdened with potlucks. Staff would literally show up at my desk at 8am with a casserole or a crock pot trying to make me responsible for it all day. And then they would “kindly” leave their dish in the conference room for me to deal with “so I could have leftovers”. No. Not cool. I have a desk full of work to get back to also and won’t be spending the rest of my afternoon cleaning up after you. One year we did a picnic theme with a sandwich-bar and I walked in at 8am to find a BAG OF GROCERIES on my desk. I was expected to wash, cut, and lay out sandwich veggies. I started scheduling days off more carefully after that and never participated in a potluck ever again.
michelle s 2 weeks ago (edited)
Boss is an A*s. The correct response should have been when it was obvious that other employees wanted to participate that he take on the role. It actually does not cause any work if like our office the names are put in a santa generator. My colleague who organises it does this as we split the party responsibilities as we get our team from all over the country involved. Therefore, there is no chance for slips of paper or "who did I get?". Once you click on it the generated name is your responsibility and nobody elses
zovjraar me 2 weeks ago
we're doing SS this year just for the ladies in the office. there's about 10 of us, though.
KatSaidWhat 3 weeks ago
Tbh, I instigated secret santa this year because us admin lackeys work for rich doctors and they always bring nice stuff to the table. The rest of us get what we think the others would like because there is the opportunity to "steal" - basically only 1 or 2 might be disappointed and we have already discussed that if we don't like what we get, now we have a stocking filler for fam/friends. If organised well and people are keen, it can be fun. But equally if someone doesn't want to be in, there is no pressure and they can just spectate or even referee as necessary.
FreeTheUnicorn 3 weeks ago
Secret Santa at work is really strange, so good for OP for abstaining. But like so many things, there's a website for that. Several in fact, you have the people interested add their names to the group, everyone is randomly assigned. Takes two minutes. Super weird the guys with their hands up didn't get picked as captains, but sounds like a horrible work place all around.
Hidalgo 2 weeks ago
Maybe the men just didn’t want secret santa or any of that other stuff like monthly bday parties? All fakey hr c**p anyway
Judes 2 weeks ago
Or maybe you didn't even read the first few sentences! ALL the men put their hands up when asked if they wanted to participate in the Secret Santa. The ONLY people who didn't put their hands up were the two women.
Load More Replies... 
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