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“Disrespectful”: Couple Called Out For Their Vegetarian Wedding Menu, Ask Who’s In The Wrong
Vegetarianism and veganism are still quite niche. According to Gallup, as of 2023, about 4% of Americans identify as vegetarians. As for the global percentage of vegetarians, a recent survey claims that 18% of the population are vegetarians. So, it’s understandable some people might question a strictly vegetarian wedding.
This couple decided they wanted to serve vegetarian-only meals at their wedding. Because the bride’s parents were paying for it, they started to raise some concerns, saying it was discriminatory. So, the bride decided to check with the Internet: would it be unreasonable to have no meat at a wedding?
RELATED:
A wedding menu caused some drama between this vegetarian couple and their parents
Image credits: AlexanderLipko / envato (not the actual photo)
The bride and groom wanted to serve only vegetarian meals, but the parents thought it would be ‘disrespectful’ to the guests
Image credits: Wavebreakmedia / envato (not the actual photo)
Image source: SwimmingFew6861
A strictly vegetarian wedding menu might subvert the expectation that a meat menu is the default
Image credits: joaquincorbalan / envato (not the actual photo)
The dilemma in this story is pretty tricky. The couple doesn’t want to force anyone to submit to their lifestyle, but on the other hand, they also don’t want to compromise their beliefs. What’s more, the bride’s parents are paying for the catering, so they feel entitled to have a say in what’s going to be on the plates.
Vegans and vegetarians are usually the ones in the minority position. Event planners and caterers often have to accommodate these two groups at events such as weddings by including vegetarian and vegan options. So, in a way, this couple might be subverting the expectation that meat-eaters are the default.
If the theme of the wedding is sustainability and the vegetarian lifestyle, an only vegetarian menu would be very on-brand. Roquette Catering claims that every menu should echo the overall theme of a wedding. “For instance, a beach wedding might call for lighter, seafood-centric dishes, while a rustic barn wedding could lean towards hearty, farm-to-table fare,” they write.
However, weddings are also about accommodating the guests. Although wanting to eat meat doesn’t necessarily constitute a dietary restriction, it is still a preference. “Remember to prioritise the guest experience alongside your personal preferences,” Roquette Catering writes.
“The ultimate goal of your wedding menu is to contribute to a fantastic guest experience. This means considering the needs of all attendees, including children, the elderly, or those with special dietary needs.”
A meat-free wedding menu can be sustainable, inclusive, and, above all, tasty
Image credits: halfpoint / envato (not the actual photo)
Did you know that even weddings have a carbon footprint? Eco-wedding website Mindfully Wed has a wedding footprint calculator. It’s where couples can check how environmentally friendly their wedding is.
It takes into account things such as what percentage of guests will be traveling by car, airplane, or public transport; whether the attire of the guests and the couple will be reused or new; whether the servicewear will be reusable; and, of course, what percentage of the meals will be vegan/vegetarian. A menu with meat is actually their top third environmental polluter.
Tenille Evans from Vegan Wedding and Events also argues that vegan/vegetarian weddings are more inclusive. “Plant based food can be eaten by more people. Vegans and vegetarians but also people with dairy, egg or shellfish allergies along with kosher and halal guests.”
She also says that vegan caterers are more willing to customize menus. “Working within smaller parameters makes them more creative. Or maybe because they personally understand what it’s like to not be catered for. This means that they can also easily cater for your gluten free guests and those with other allergies like nuts and soy as well.”
Omnivorous people might be put off by an only vegetarian menu because they think meat-free foods are often bland and unexciting. However, modern caterers have come a long way and can offer some interesting vegan and vegetarian options.
Recipe developer for Bon Appetit Sarah Jampel writes that long gone are the days when the only entree option for vegetarians was a veggie stack. The answer, according to her, is family-style meals. A vegetarian entree, for example, can be made out of several smaller dishes.
In the end, Jampel writes, most guests didn’t even remember what they ate on her wedding day. “Your friends and fam are ultimately there for you, not the food (meaning that you’re more worried about it than they are).”
Some people defended the couple’s decision; in the end, it’s their Big Day
Others sided with the parents, claiming the couple needed to concede since they were not paying for it themselves
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What do you think ?
Bernd Herbert 5 months ago
NTA, and the YTAs are pretty wild. 1. The parents paying is completely irrelevant. Either they want to give for their kids wedding, or they don't. It's a gift. You don't put conditions onto gifts. 2. Vegetarians and Non-Vegeatarians are not equal. The difference is quite simple are very siginificant. Non-Vegetarians, like myself, CAN eat vegatarian dishes. This doesn't go the other way round. Everyone complaining here is an a*****e. As others stated: You should be able to go one day without meat (and that's not even a requirement here)
justagirl 5 months ago
yes! Honestly invite me to a vegetarian meal and i'm the happiest person alive. I'd probably hog all the fungi.
Load More Replies...
RP 5 months ago
I got a LOT of flack from the venue people for my wedding for even mentioning that there would not be meat. They told me it would disappoint the guests and they would be ashamed. I opted for Indian. Copped c**p from my in-laws before the wedding for that too, saying that the older generation wouldn't eat it. The venue even made us sign a non-disclosure about it. You know what? The older generation ate so many Indian cheese dumplings that belts and buttons had to be loosened, the Chai was all gone by the end of the cake round but the European coffee my mother in-law insisted on was barely touched. Everyone loved the food and no one even noticed a lack of meat. HOWEVER, had we let ourselves be bullied into the venue's go-to caterers, the vegetarian options would have been very flat and unsatisfying. You have to get the food right. I think that is where a lot of the older generation get confused. They've grown up in a time when vegetarian food meant a 'normal' meal minus the meat.
Auntriarch 5 months ago
I think you have got that exactly right RP. Vegetarian food can be extremely fancy these days. It might be best for op to sit down with the parents and show pictures and descriptions of the food. By the way your wedding food sounds divine!
Load More Replies...
arthbach 5 months ago
Serve your guests beautiful, delicious food. This does not need to include meat. Be sure to take into consideration the food allergies and intolerances of your guests. Meat is not required for 'luxury', nor for celebrations. It is just one meal. Let the bride and groom choose.
Bernd Herbert 5 months ago
NTA, and the YTAs are pretty wild. 1. The parents paying is completely irrelevant. Either they want to give for their kids wedding, or they don't. It's a gift. You don't put conditions onto gifts. 2. Vegetarians and Non-Vegeatarians are not equal. The difference is quite simple are very siginificant. Non-Vegetarians, like myself, CAN eat vegatarian dishes. This doesn't go the other way round. Everyone complaining here is an a*****e. As others stated: You should be able to go one day without meat (and that's not even a requirement here)
justagirl 5 months ago
yes! Honestly invite me to a vegetarian meal and i'm the happiest person alive. I'd probably hog all the fungi.
Load More Replies... RP 5 months ago
I got a LOT of flack from the venue people for my wedding for even mentioning that there would not be meat. They told me it would disappoint the guests and they would be ashamed. I opted for Indian. Copped c**p from my in-laws before the wedding for that too, saying that the older generation wouldn't eat it. The venue even made us sign a non-disclosure about it. You know what? The older generation ate so many Indian cheese dumplings that belts and buttons had to be loosened, the Chai was all gone by the end of the cake round but the European coffee my mother in-law insisted on was barely touched. Everyone loved the food and no one even noticed a lack of meat. HOWEVER, had we let ourselves be bullied into the venue's go-to caterers, the vegetarian options would have been very flat and unsatisfying. You have to get the food right. I think that is where a lot of the older generation get confused. They've grown up in a time when vegetarian food meant a 'normal' meal minus the meat.
Auntriarch 5 months ago
I think you have got that exactly right RP. Vegetarian food can be extremely fancy these days. It might be best for op to sit down with the parents and show pictures and descriptions of the food. By the way your wedding food sounds divine!
Load More Replies... arthbach 5 months ago
Serve your guests beautiful, delicious food. This does not need to include meat. Be sure to take into consideration the food allergies and intolerances of your guests. Meat is not required for 'luxury', nor for celebrations. It is just one meal. Let the bride and groom choose.
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