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Vegan Teen Expects Everyone To Accommodate Her New Diet And Stop Eating Meat At Home, Dad Disagrees
Only a few topics are as contentious as our diet and food choices — particularly the vegan vs. meat eater debate. While we like to think that everyone’s dietary preferences are valid, tensions inevitably arise when people who choose different paths have to live together under one roof. And the issue becomes even more magnified when they try to force their personal beliefs onto others.
This story shared with the AITA community gives us insight into precisely such a situation. It comes from a dad whose daughter, a 14-year-old teen, decided to go vegan. While the couple jumped at the chance to show support with open minds and full hearts, the situation changed once she started criticizing how her parents run their lives in their own house.
And it all started with a pan. “She saw me cook bacon in a pan, and then I rinsed it out to load in the dishwasher. She exploded in anger,” the user wrote, detailing how things only escalated from there. Scroll down to read the story in full, as well as the reactions that followed. Be sure to decide for yourself where you land on the matter, and then weigh in on the discussion in the comments below!
RELATED:
After his daughter decided to go vegan, this dad jumped at the chance to show support in her dietary journey
Image credits: Malte Helmhold
But when she started criticizing the way parents run their lives in their own house, he wondered where to draw the line
Image credits: Andrew Ridley
Image credits: Andrea Piacquadio
Image credits: frustratingbaconeate
Every family has their stories about conflict at the dinner table. But as the author notes in his story, people must learn to adapt and live side by side under one roof. While denying her demands to remove all foods which don’t accommodate her diet from the kitchen caused tension in the family dynamics, many readers found that to be a wise move. The vast majority of Redditors deemed the dad has every right to eat what he wants in his own home, and that the daughter should stop forcing her lifestyle on others.
With more and more young people around the world adopting healthier and more mindful lifestyle choices, these family conundrums may be more common than we think. According to Plant Protein’s sources, 6% of US consumers are vegan. Whether for health reasons, climate change, animal welfare, or to satisfy the curiosity of what the buzz is all about, vegan statistics show the plant-based population continues to spike. In fact, compared to previous years, it’s now spreading like wildfire. The vegan market has boomed, and restaurants and fast-food chains are starting to accommodate people with plant-based options.
When it comes to a vegan diet, the conversation has as much to do with the life philosophy and ethical commitments as with what’s on the plate. Sometimes emotions get heated and tensions arise, but clear communication and a sense of empathy from both sides can go a long way. To find a way out of this situation, family members need to sit down, have a conversation, and figure out what to do next so everyone can live in harmony.
According to an article on Live Strong, it’s important to consider family meals that work for everyone. While this will be hard, there are plenty of food choices to give you a variety of dishes to choose from. “My biggest tip for these families is to prepare meals that can be easily customized,” Paige Foote, RD, said. Dishes like burrito bowls and stir-fries are great because they use the same base ingredients of starch, protein, and vegetables.
“Depending on your family, everyone can prepare two or more variations of those base ingredients,” she added. “Most veggies should work for any diet, although it’s important to keep in mind how they’re prepared.” And if you’re concerned about cross-contamination, consider buying separate dishware or washing the existing equipment and utensils thoroughly.
Let us know your thoughts about this story down below. Do you think the dad is right to refuse his daughter’s request and draw the line? What would you personally do in this situation? Be sure to share your takes with us below, and if you have any tips for handling these situations better, feel free to tell us all about them in the comments!
The vast majority of readers expressed support for the dad’s decision, here’s what they had to say
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Alex Boyd 3 years ago
I loved the suggestion to get the daughter a dedicated meat-free dishwashing sponge! The dad here is doing a great job of supporting his daughter's developing autonomy; since she is too young to work, it makes sense for the parents to buy her food and cooking things. However, now that they've been so accommodating, it sounds like the next thing she needs is a reminder that, as the saying goes, her right to swing her arm ends at the next person's nose. She's years away from getting to make the rules for her own "castle." If she's planning on college, the dining halls will probably have vegan options--almost all of them do, these days!--but there won't be a separate kitchen or equipment. And it's entirely likely that her assigned roommate will sometimes eat meat in the room--some schools have a "Veggie dorm," but it's certainly not universal, and even where it exists, freshmen are generally not guaranteed their housing preference.
Felix Grace 3 years ago
I def think that part of it is her age, too. If she stays vegan, I think she'll "mellow out" if the parents nip it in the bud right away. They're doing the right think by allowing her to go vegan, but I think this could def serve as a good lesson of entitlement and also could help educate her on the whole contamination thing she's so afraid of
Load More Replies...
Kathryn Baylis 3 years ago
The mother’s idea of only eating meat at relatives’ houses. What makes her think that, once the daughter gets her taste of power at homes, that she won’t throw world class hissy fits at the relatives’ houses and insist they too accommodate her by not eating meat either. Nope. Nip this spoiled brat behavior in the bud, before you create a Frankenstein that can’t be UNcreated.
CL Rowan 3 years ago
Mom certainly comes off as an enabling wuss here. I think she needs to grow up a bit as well.
Load More Replies...
Cecily Holland 3 years ago
Seriously?! Put your foot down and parent that girl. Teach her that she can’t force her lifestyle on everyone else. Its time for a valuable lesson in compromise and getting along with others. Otherwise you are just raising another entitled whiny adult
Evelyn Haskins 3 years ago
Seriously I suspect that she is risking very seriou ongoing psychological problems for the daughter, that could result in a life time of psychiatric problems for her. (Speaking as someone who has a close friend who let her daughter get away with that sort of rubbish.) I would also suggest that the parents consult the daughter's school re any social problems she is having there,.
Load More Replies...
Gracie Ochoa 3 years ago
NTA. Sounds like you and your wife have been overly supportive and for a long time. Ur daughter comes across as spoiled w/no respect for others (her parents) nor regard for anyone else's wants/needs but strictly HER OWN. A shame. It's not a good look. Do urselves a favor, and an even bigger one for ur daughter, and please draw a line in the sand now b4 it's too late. Ask her to make do w the concessions you've already made by developing her 'veganism' within the parameters you've set. She can wash her own dishes, if she doesn't want to use the dishwasher. Easy-peazy. I'd wager $ on her being back on burgers b4 long. And, u don't want to be responsible for raising her to expect the world to acquiesce to her every whim (won't happen!) by enabling this selfish and unattractive behavior. God forbid she try to force everyone around her to bend to her whims. She'll end up a very lonely adult.
smugdruggler 3 years ago
Veganism apart though, she was 14. Drama is a big part of any 14 year old girl's life. Dad's definitely nta.
Load More Replies...
Bored Retsuko 3 years ago
There's a bit of text missing... here goes the original from reddit: "... adjusted our budget to include more expensive vegan substitutes for her, etc. None of this has been a problem for me until recently. She saw me cook bacon in a pan, and then I rinsed it out to load in the dishwasher. She exploded in anger (teen years, I’m not too fussed about the anger explosion, I know she doesn’t mean it) ..."
Bubbles and sparks 3 years ago
Part of growing up is also getting to learn that everyone has a choice, one that will not always be the same preference as yours. You learn to accept the differences and accept that whatever it is you believe in, might not apply to all, you can share your reasons why, but as soon as you start imposing, preaching, demanding the same of those around you, you're nothing but an entitled person that thinks the world revolves around you .... Guess what? It doesn't ;)
John Doe 3 years ago (edited)
It sounds like the house is meat contaminated, I see only one solution that the teen find her own place this way she is meat free. And since the dad has touched his money with his meat hands, then the daughter needs to find some vegan money to live in her new vegan house.
Dre Mosley 3 years ago
NTA. Why do some vegans think that non-vegans need to adapt and adjust to suit them? You're just gonna have to accept that many people around you are not vegan and never will be. Learn to deal with it.
MimSorensson 3 years ago (edited)
I think the big thing here is puberty rather than the veganism, to be fair. If it hadn’t been the food I’m fairly convinced it’s been something else.
Load More Replies...
Michele M. 3 years ago
I will always support my children's choices when it comes to eating meat, but it would be a blizzard in hell before I let my child dictate where I store my foods and wash my dishes. That's the kind of behavior that gives vegans a bad name. Set those boundaries early. If you allow your child to force you out of your own house to eat meat, you teach her that bullying and entitlement is acceptable. She's going to grow up eventually, but you have to get her to understand that that is not how the real world or respect works.
Elin Calliel 3 years ago
An excellent teaching opportunity for the father to the daughter here about mutual respect for one another’s lifestyle choices and making it clear that forcing ones views onto another is unacceptable.
Alex Boyd 3 years ago
I loved the suggestion to get the daughter a dedicated meat-free dishwashing sponge! The dad here is doing a great job of supporting his daughter's developing autonomy; since she is too young to work, it makes sense for the parents to buy her food and cooking things. However, now that they've been so accommodating, it sounds like the next thing she needs is a reminder that, as the saying goes, her right to swing her arm ends at the next person's nose. She's years away from getting to make the rules for her own "castle." If she's planning on college, the dining halls will probably have vegan options--almost all of them do, these days!--but there won't be a separate kitchen or equipment. And it's entirely likely that her assigned roommate will sometimes eat meat in the room--some schools have a "Veggie dorm," but it's certainly not universal, and even where it exists, freshmen are generally not guaranteed their housing preference.
Felix Grace 3 years ago
I def think that part of it is her age, too. If she stays vegan, I think she'll "mellow out" if the parents nip it in the bud right away. They're doing the right think by allowing her to go vegan, but I think this could def serve as a good lesson of entitlement and also could help educate her on the whole contamination thing she's so afraid of
Load More Replies... Kathryn Baylis 3 years ago
The mother’s idea of only eating meat at relatives’ houses. What makes her think that, once the daughter gets her taste of power at homes, that she won’t throw world class hissy fits at the relatives’ houses and insist they too accommodate her by not eating meat either. Nope. Nip this spoiled brat behavior in the bud, before you create a Frankenstein that can’t be UNcreated.
CL Rowan 3 years ago
Mom certainly comes off as an enabling wuss here. I think she needs to grow up a bit as well.
Load More Replies... Cecily Holland 3 years ago
Seriously?! Put your foot down and parent that girl. Teach her that she can’t force her lifestyle on everyone else. Its time for a valuable lesson in compromise and getting along with others. Otherwise you are just raising another entitled whiny adult
Evelyn Haskins 3 years ago
Seriously I suspect that she is risking very seriou ongoing psychological problems for the daughter, that could result in a life time of psychiatric problems for her. (Speaking as someone who has a close friend who let her daughter get away with that sort of rubbish.) I would also suggest that the parents consult the daughter's school re any social problems she is having there,.
Load More Replies... Gracie Ochoa 3 years ago
NTA. Sounds like you and your wife have been overly supportive and for a long time. Ur daughter comes across as spoiled w/no respect for others (her parents) nor regard for anyone else's wants/needs but strictly HER OWN. A shame. It's not a good look. Do urselves a favor, and an even bigger one for ur daughter, and please draw a line in the sand now b4 it's too late. Ask her to make do w the concessions you've already made by developing her 'veganism' within the parameters you've set. She can wash her own dishes, if she doesn't want to use the dishwasher. Easy-peazy. I'd wager $ on her being back on burgers b4 long. And, u don't want to be responsible for raising her to expect the world to acquiesce to her every whim (won't happen!) by enabling this selfish and unattractive behavior. God forbid she try to force everyone around her to bend to her whims. She'll end up a very lonely adult.
smugdruggler 3 years ago
Veganism apart though, she was 14. Drama is a big part of any 14 year old girl's life. Dad's definitely nta.
Load More Replies... Bored Retsuko 3 years ago
There's a bit of text missing... here goes the original from reddit: "... adjusted our budget to include more expensive vegan substitutes for her, etc. None of this has been a problem for me until recently. She saw me cook bacon in a pan, and then I rinsed it out to load in the dishwasher. She exploded in anger (teen years, I’m not too fussed about the anger explosion, I know she doesn’t mean it) ..."
Bubbles and sparks 3 years ago
Part of growing up is also getting to learn that everyone has a choice, one that will not always be the same preference as yours. You learn to accept the differences and accept that whatever it is you believe in, might not apply to all, you can share your reasons why, but as soon as you start imposing, preaching, demanding the same of those around you, you're nothing but an entitled person that thinks the world revolves around you .... Guess what? It doesn't ;)
John Doe 3 years ago (edited)
It sounds like the house is meat contaminated, I see only one solution that the teen find her own place this way she is meat free. And since the dad has touched his money with his meat hands, then the daughter needs to find some vegan money to live in her new vegan house.
Dre Mosley 3 years ago
NTA. Why do some vegans think that non-vegans need to adapt and adjust to suit them? You're just gonna have to accept that many people around you are not vegan and never will be. Learn to deal with it.
MimSorensson 3 years ago (edited)
I think the big thing here is puberty rather than the veganism, to be fair. If it hadn’t been the food I’m fairly convinced it’s been something else.
Load More Replies... Michele M. 3 years ago
I will always support my children's choices when it comes to eating meat, but it would be a blizzard in hell before I let my child dictate where I store my foods and wash my dishes. That's the kind of behavior that gives vegans a bad name. Set those boundaries early. If you allow your child to force you out of your own house to eat meat, you teach her that bullying and entitlement is acceptable. She's going to grow up eventually, but you have to get her to understand that that is not how the real world or respect works.
Elin Calliel 3 years ago
An excellent teaching opportunity for the father to the daughter here about mutual respect for one another’s lifestyle choices and making it clear that forcing ones views onto another is unacceptable.
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