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Right as we emerge out of all the seasonal celebrations, there is one more day to celebrate in winter. The day when everything is about hearts, roses, and chocolate. The day you either love or love to hate. Yes, I’m talking about St. Valentine’s Day.
Now whether you truly enjoy celebrating this day with someone special or sincerely couldn’t care less, here is an idea for a bit of a new approach you could try this year. Every year, when preparing a card for your valentine, you either have to struggle to come up with something cute and original to write on it, or you have to put up with the cheesy Valentine’s lines the manufacturer printed for you. How about this time you try some Valentine’s Day jokes instead?
Cute jokes can have as much impact on the receiver of your card as any romantic line, if not more. Because, let’s be honest, no one is above a good punny joke. And if you are approaching your crush for the first time, a funny Valentine card will stand out and help break the ice.
Don’t know any jokes about love? We’ve got you covered! In this article, you will find tons of funny Valentine jokes you can dedicate to anyone in your life. Choose the ones that tickle you the most, and jot them down on the card. And don’t forget to come back and let us know later how the recipient liked it!
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
What do you say to your single friends on Valentine’s Day?
"Happy Independence Day!"
#2
Why should you never laugh at your significant other's choices?
Because you’re one of them!
#3
What's the difference between a $20 steak and a $55 steak?
February 14th.
Zelda Fitzgerald 1 year ago
My Safeway was selling 4 s****y looking chocolate covered strawberries for over 5 dollars 😒
#4
What's the difference between love and marriage?
Love is blind, while marriage is an eye-opener!
#5
What is the difference between a girl who is sick of her boyfriend and a sailor who falls into the ocean?
One is bored over a man the other is a man overboard.
#6
Why didn't the two dogs make serious Valentine's Day plans?
It was just puppy love.
#7
What did the octopus say to the other octopus on Valentine's Day?
"I want to hold your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand."
#8
Why were the forks disappointed on Valentine's Day?
All they wanted to do was spoon.
#9
How can you save money on Valentine's gifts?
Become single.
#10
Why did the dad approve of his daughter's goalie-boyfriend?
He was a real keeper.
#11
How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?
It gave her a ring!
#12
Why would Forrest Gump be a good Valentine?
He'd probably gift a box of chocolates.
#13
"If he doesn't appreciate your fruit jokes, you need to let that mango."
#14
What do Italians say to each other on Valentine's Day?
"You’ve got a pizza my heart."
#16
What did the girl squirrel say back to the boy squirrel on Valentine's Day?
"You're nuts so bad yourself!"
#17
What did the drum say to the other drum on Valentine's Day?
"My heart beats for you."
#18
What did the paper clip say to the magnet?
I find you very attractive.
#20
What did one watermelon say to the other on Valentine's Day?
"You're one in a melon!"
#21
What did the calculator say to the pencil on Valentine's Day?
"You can always count on me."
Darius Strolia 1 year ago
Been sittin' here for an hour .. still no words between pencil and The Calculator. Will continue to monitor. Happy birthday YouTube
#22
Why did the skeleton break up with her boyfriend before Valentine's Day?
Her heart wasn't in it.
#23
Why couldn't the mineral water ever get a Valentine?
All of his friendships were so platonic.
#24
"If I were to lay eleven roses next to you, you'd make the perfect dozen."
#25
Why were the scientists a perfect match?
Cause they had great chemistry!
#26
How do chefs show their love?
They whisk you off your feet!
#27
"You came home early from your date," John observed to his roommate. "What happened?" "Well," said the flatmate, "after dinner she invited me up to her flat. We had a couple of drinks and she put on some soft music. Then she reached over and turned out the lights." "So, what next?" asked John, eyebrows raised. "I can take a hint," said his flatmate. "I came home."
#28
What did the bat say to his girlfriend?
"You're fun to hang around with."
#29
When do bed bugs fall in love?
In the spring.
#30
What's the most popular shape on Valentine's Day?
A-cute triangle.
#31
"Did Adam and Eve ever have a date?"
"No, they had an apple!"
#32
What did one flame say to the other on Valentine’s Day?
"We're a perfect match!"
#33
What is it called when your aunt went off to get married on Valentine's Day?
Antelope.
#34
What did the pickle say to the other on Valentine's Day?
"You're a big dill to me."
#36
What does Kevin Bacon say to his wife?
"Don't go bacon my heart."
Darius Strolia 1 year ago
Nope, I refuse to accept this exists. What did Kevin Bacon say to his wife? "I forgot why I came in this room. I guess I'll have a cheat day and cut a piece of some footloose
#38
What did the stamp say to the envelope on Valentine’s Day?
"I'm stuck on you!"
#40
What did the boy squirrel say to the girl squirrel on Valentine's Day?
"I'm nuts about you!"
#41
What did one cat say to the other cat on Valentine's Day?
"You're purr-fect."
#42
Where do all the hamburgers take their girlfriends on Valentine's Day?
To a meatball.
Darius Strolia 1 year ago
Oooooio . Lady Ga-Ga and I taking to the spotlight.. which is just a heating lamp it seems
#43
What did the Valentine get arrested for?
For stealing someone's heart.
#44
What do you call someone with a cold on Valentine's Day?
"Lovesick."
#47
Why does Cupid always make so much money at the casino?
Because he’s a Valentine’s Card Shark.
#49
What did the couple say after they were struck by Cupid's arrow?
"Ouch!"
#51
What did one light bulb say to the other on Valentine’s Day?
“I love you a whole watt.”
#52
What did one volcano say to the other?
"I lava you."
#54
What did the rabbit say to his girlfriend on Valentine's Day?
"Somebunny loves you!"
#55
What did one cappuccino say to their shy crush?
"Espresso yourself."
#56
What are insects called when they're dating?
Lovebugs.
#57
"I once fell in love with someone who only knew 4 vowels. They didn’t know I existed."
#58
"What do you call a ghost's sweetheart?"
"A ghoul-friend."
#61
What did the romantic sing after she got a paper cut?
"I keep bleeding, keep, keep bleeding love!"
#62
Which new Taylor Swift tune is the best couple's song for two ghosts to share?
"Invisible String."
#64
How did the two prunes confirm dinner plans?
They said it was a date.
#65
"What did the scientist say to her valentine?"
"I think of you periodically."
#67
Why should you fall in love with a pastry chef?
He'll never dessert you.
#70
What did one piece of toast say to the other?
"You're my butter half!"
#71
Why is lettuce the most loving vegetable?
Because it's all heart.
#74
What did one blueberry say to the other on Valentine's Day?
"I love you berry much."
#82
Why did all the other fruit ask the banana to be their Valentine?
She was very a-peel-ing.
#85
Which type of flower is the best at giving smooches?
Tulips.
#92
Why do you need a charcuterie board on Valentine's day?
It’s the best way to say brie mine, Valentine.
#94
What did one muffin say to the other on Valentine's Day?
"You're my stud-muffin!"
#95
"What did one mushroom say to the other on Valentine's Day?"
"There's so mushroom in my heart for you!"
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