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Giving advice to people is like flipping a coin – there can always be two possible reactions. Either the person will listen and thank you for your help, or they will act offended and tell you not to stick your nose where it doesn't belong. The latter is more likely to happen when no one actually asked for the advice.
But, since this is the Internet, the Redditor u/Mathias97035 thought some unsolicited advice wouldn't hurt anyone. That's why they asked other netizens: "What unsolicited advice do you want to give right now?" Check out what tips people shared in the thread below!
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#1
No one wants to hear your music or your show. Put headphones on when in shared public spaces.
RELATED:
#3
Spay and neuter your effing animals please.
cerinamroth 8 months ago
Domestic cats should also not be allowed to roam outside and kill wildlife indiscriminately. We're not just talking small numbers here but *billions* of creatures and decimating wild populations that are already under pressure.
How many times have you had to fight the urge to give some unwanted advice, Pandas? Try not to feel that guilty – having opinions is natural, after all. But we do have to be careful when we start offering our opinions and advice to people who didn't exactly ask for it.
According to VeryWell Mind, people do it with good intentions: out of altruism, friendliness, or just pure excitement. However, it can also satisfy the less-dignified side of us that's needy and helpless. Yes, people sometimes offer unsolicited advice for their sake, not yours – it makes them feel more valued, powerful, and important.
#4
If every facet of your entire personality revolves around a single politician, you need to reevaluate your life choices.
#5
If someone is treating you badly, stop trying to convince them to treat you better. we’re all adults here, they know what they’re doing. have some self respect and walk away instead.
Libstak 8 months ago (edited)
I tried all my life to be relevant enough to be treated respectfully by my sister, it just piled on layers upon layers of hurt. I have had to cut her loose at the age of 57 to her 61. Finally realised you can't teach an old dog new tricks. She was never gonna change no matter how many times I bailed her out of a bad situation she would be nice while she needed me and then revert to putting me down when she no longer did. Final straw was when her own daughters told me not to let her do what she was doing and that they actively avoid her because she is a narcissist and says evil things even about them.
#6
A condom is vastly cheaper than a child.
Other times, friends can start offering advice when the person seems helpless. In these cases, according to Elizabeth Scott, Ph. D., the person should clearly communicate that they're not looking for advice.
There are times when people just want to vent about their problems, to pour their hearts out. That doesn't necessarily mean they're looking for guidance. But in some cases, all the complaining might get too much for their friends. Then, they might start offering advice just to send a message: "Do something or stop complaining."
#7
Pick up your trash.
#8
If someone asks you a question about something you think is obvious, you aren't obligated to s**t on them in the process of giving an answer.
#9
Telling the truth is not an excuse to be unkind. "Brutal honesty" is a person making excuses for being a jerk. If you can't tell the truth kindly, you need to go back to basics.
Doctor Strange 8 months ago
Those who claim to be 'brutally honest' are more interested in being brutal than in being honest.
Then there are the unhelpful motives behind giving unsolicited advice. Experts warn to look at these signs seriously, as it might mean that the one offering the advice can be emotionally abusive.
Those with narcissistic tendencies like to "teach" people how to live, as it gives them power and attention. Their advice might not even be helpful because, most times, it's about them and not the other person.
#10
Parents are raising adults. If your adult child doesn't know how to do something, it's because the parent failed to teach them. Nothing outside of organ function is automatically known.
Also, stop expecting children to have better emotional regulation than adults.
DarkViolet 8 months ago
This! You don't learn basic skills via osmosis; you are supposed to be TAUGHT those skills. Stop trying to turn children into miniature adults. For crying out loud, let them be KIDS.
#11
If you don't know, say so.
mommamarmar 8 months ago
It's also NOT hypocritical to change stance on something when you become better informed. It's a learning experience.
#12
You don’t have to have an opinion on everything.
Others like to give out advice because they want to assert dominance, to be the knowledgeable one in the relationship. If they're the ones always giving advice and putting themselves into a position of authority, it may be time to reconsider the friendship.
#13
When building a taco, put the cheese in first, then the hot filling. The hot filling will melt the cheese, which will form a mechanical bond with a taco shell, and help the shell hold together so it's less likely to break and dump Taco guts all over your shirt.
Bouche and Audi and Shyla, Oh My! 8 months ago
Taco Bell puts the "meat", then the lettuce, then the cheese. Just why?
#14
You don’t have to be good at something, you don’t have to get better at it, you don’t have to engage with it for some particular reason, just enjoy the activity; that’s fine.
mommamarmar 8 months ago
You also don't have to monetize your hobbies. I hate being told "oh you're so good at X! You should set up an Etsy/sell them!"
#15
Shut up. That's my actual unsolicited advice. People need to listen more.
Daya Meyer 8 months ago
I am actually counting those sentences I wasn't able to finish because of an interruption of someone else. On a daily basis I talk to three, maybe four people. Sometimes I count to seven.
K Miller 8 months ago
This is a huge pet peeve of mine, I'm constantly interrupted. I can understand and even forgive when someone's excited about a conversation and can't contain themselves but when someone is deliberately not paying attention it makes me feel like what I have to say is not important. A conversation is not a one-person show.
Load More Replies...
shanila.pheonix_ 8 months ago
my teacher actually had this saying: you have 2 ears and one mouth because you're supposed to listen two times more than the amount you speak.
TheGreaterDebater 8 months ago
This to people who downvote others to death just because of a different view/opinion.
ColdSteelRonin 8 months ago
Or conversely, choose your words carefully and say something worthy of being listened to.
Laura Osborne 8 months ago
Something I need to work on.. If someone is asking for my advice, sometimes I jump in without meaning to.
Natalia Allen 8 months ago
I once heard a saying that most people listen to answer rather than to hear. I have found that to be true, people are already formulating their answer before you have even finished speaking.
Saphyre Fyre 8 months ago
And while listening, be aware that your thoughts don't take over what you "hear." REALLY FOCUS on the words coming out of someone's mouth.
Mark Fuller 8 months ago
We have two ears and one mouth. We should use them according to that ratio.
Friends and family aren't the only ones we get unsolicited advice from. Strangers sometimes like to do it, too. Often, it's because they're coming from a place of judgment. While this can also happen amongst friends, it often comes across more like an insult than advice. If a friend offers this kind of advice, mental health experts suggest spending less time with them.
#16
Please, please wear ear protection at concerts/loud events. You may be fine now, but it sneaks up on you years later.
Signed,
A Gen X-er with permanent tinnitus/partial hearing loss.
#17
Look at the dessert menu first, then plan your meal accordingly.
Robert Millar 8 months ago
Starter dessert, main dessert and dessert dessert. Thanks for the tip.
#18
Go seek a place with very little/no light pollution & stargaze. Not enough people have seen a truly dark sky - and it’s going to keep getting harder to find them as cities get bigger & population increases.
Laugh or not 8 months ago
I remember the night sky from Europe in the 1980's, I could see so much more - luckily, the knowledge about light pollution is spreading and people/cities are taking steps against it. In more recent years, I went to the Karoo desert and the Pacific Ocean, and both had amazing night skies.
For drama lovers, it's all about the conflict. They love it, and they thrive on instigating it. These people, according to Scott, feel power by telling others how wrong they are.
They even bring up topics for discussion by giving lots of advice – their goal is neither to help nor to demonstrate their sophistication. They mostly take the opposite side to whatever argument the other person presents.
#19
Take care of your teeth.
#22
My favorite advice is “the only person you should compare yourself to is your past self” learned it myself a while ago. Everyone has a different perspective and journey. I’m 31 and it looks a lot different than my mom’s 31 or my sister’s or my high school valedictorian’s. And that’s ok. My goal in life is to be happy that’s all.
Rinso The Red 8 months ago
I prefer to shoot for contentment, happiness is much more fleeting.
#23
Invite the people that are always inviting you, they shouldnt always be the one initiating things.
#24
Don't stay with someone who is bad for you because you don't want to be alone. You're wrecking yourself for future partnerships and you're wasting precious time you'll never get back. If you're in a relationship that isn't healthy: leave.
Angela Darling 8 months ago
...Don't fall in love w. someones Potential!! It may NEVER be what you can see!!
#26
Move more, before its too late.
Being lazy causes damage. Just move.
WindySwede 8 months ago
Sometimes laziness is not the reason?! So many reasons why not moving. Using the word lazy just stigmatises it even more?
#27
Listen to your gut instinct. You may not understand why you don’t trust someone or like someone, but eventually you’ll see the reason. The times I’ve been hurt or burned the most was when I didn’t trust myself & wanted to just give others a shot because I feel like I’m too judgemental, but my gut hasn’t ever been wrong.
Jules (they/them) 8 months ago
Having anxiety disorders makes it so that every instinct feels tens times heightened than needed, hard to trust myself sometimes because of that 😅
#28
Stop having children if you know you can’t afford them.
Jason 8 months ago
I get where this is coming from but I have a friend who is a hard worker. He doesn't make much money but he doesn't really have the capacity. He's got a kid. He's on assistance. I like to imagine my tax money goes to him. Poor people shouldn't be banned from having children.
#29
Go offline for a while.
Mrs Irish Mom 8 months ago
Read a book, i got some funny looks because i was reading a book on the luas instead of on my phone and an older man sat across from me and took out his book and smiled at me and said, i was scared people would think im old for reading an actual book these days
#30
Hope for the best, but plan for the worst. Never make a decision with the presupposition that you will succeed and you will rarely find yourself caught off guard. That's not to say you should think you can't succeed, just that you should set yourself up so that failure doesn't wipe you out. It's like wearing your seat belt while driving: it's there to save you if things don't work out.
#31
Vote. A presidential candidate will never be perfectly in line with your beliefs. The best you can do is try to move the needle in your direction. Look at the policy and positions. Find which candidate will move you closer toward what you want. Because not voting is effectively working against your own personal interests.
mommamarmar 8 months ago
Also: don't vote for someone JUST because they're in a specific party alignment you identify with. I've voted for democrats, republicans, independents, all of the above. Please educate yourself BEFORE voting.
#32
Take a moment everyday to step out of your house and appreciate the world. No matter what happens today, tomorrow or in a hundred years: that sun will rise. There might be flowers you can smell. Maybe the birds are chirping.
It's very grounding during chaotic times.
#33
Enjoy yourself. It’s later than you think.
Did I say that out loud? (he/him)cis/het 8 months ago
Ah,the infinite wisdom of Chas and Dave.
#34
Use multiple forms of birth control if you really don’t want kids. The pull out method is not reliable, don’t be stupid.
#35
Preventative maintenance is the best maintenance.
cerinamroth 8 months ago
A stitch in time saves nine, as English-speaking grandmothers everywhere have said for centuries.
#36
Take care of your kids.
DarkViolet 8 months ago
Your kids shouldn't have to get the unconditional love and encouragement they need from teachers, friends' parents, and other family members.
#37
No one deserves to have power over you so much that you don't get to live your life.
#38
You don't have to have everyone like you.
Shayne Randlett 8 months ago
Are you saying not everyone likes me? I knew my mom was full of it!
#39
The more you post about how wonderful and perfect your relationship is the more I think it's actually on the rocks and close to ending.
#40
Enjoy life as much as possible. Make it your mission to enjoy the heck out of everything you can. .
Jessica SpeLangm 8 months ago
Take weekend trips when you can. Just getting away for a couple of days is an excellent way to enjoy life. You don't have to spend a lot of money either. Heck, I go 3 hours away from home in any direction to another city (not even another state) and I feel like I've been on vacation. It's glorious.
#41
Let it go, it’s not worth it.
Shayne Randlett 8 months ago
Unless you're hanging over the edge of a cliff and the thing you're holding onto is a rope
#42
Workout and stretch while you’re young it’ll start a good habit and your body will thank you for it.
cerinamroth 8 months ago
But it's also never too late to start, or to get back into it if you've let it slide due to having a difficult time!
#43
Don't date to marry, date to get to know people. You will learn more about yourself and others and can gauge where you need to keep people in your life.
#44
Let people misunderstand you.
Trying to control the narrative will drive you insane. If you’re a genuine good person, it wont matter anyways, any lies can and will come forward.
Life is too short to not be yourself because someone assumes some nonsense about you. Just let go, if they dont want to look at you deeper than a surface level, then they probably don’t care enough to matter anyways.
Ken Beattie 8 months ago
Hmm... I'm not sure I agree with this one. It's going to really depend on what the misunderstanding is about. Misunderstandings can be hell on relationships, personal, romantic and professional. I think if something is important, then it's absolutely important that you're not misunderstood. And the whole, "if you're a genuine good person, it won't matter anwyay"... NOPE! Imagine your boss thinks you've said something racist, or that you insulted a customer or similar, you won't magically keep your job because you're a "good person", you need to clear up that misunderstanding asap.
#45
For my younger coworkers…
Just because your career has been easier, doesn’t mean you’re better at your job.
#46
Go to a hobby subreddit, something you feel you know *really* well.
Look at the comments with terrible advice, things that are objectively wrong, by people who talk with authority.
Extrapolate that across all social media.
Annik Perrot 8 months ago
All other media, too. Long ago I read some arrant nonsense in a newspaper about à subject I knew really well, and I realized they must write à lot of bullsh*t about all the other subjects, as well.
#47
When people tell you to get counselling before having a child. Do it.
Angela Darling 8 months ago
Therapy is NEVER a bad idea!! EVERYONE has something to learn about themselves!
#48
Quit smoking. Just because your doctor says your lungs and heart are strong it doesn’t prevent calcification of veins and arteries which can cause amputations. It’s one of the top 5 causes of pancreatic cancer.
#49
The key to being charismatic is making the other person feel good about themselves.
#50
Being in a band is like being in a marriage with three other people. There are some great exciting moments but then there is drama and the expectation to perform when you really don't feel like it.
What do you think ?
Gavin Johnson 8 months ago
Watch a bee collecting pollen for a bit. Watch your children play. Stand at edge of the sea or a lake, ankle deep in water and stop, waste some time just stood there. Pick your favourite album and listen to it, not background, just you and the music, stop and let it wash over you. Be more kind. Pay it forward, a smile, a brew, a ‘good morning / afternoon’, be generous with things that cost little or nothing, your smile may improve someone’s day more than you imagine. Thank people more. Send that text or email, maybe ring that friend you’ve not spoken to for a bit, the best time to do it is today. Read more. Read to your kids, play the parts however badly, you and your kids will laugh, a lot! On that note, laugh, find that stuff that tickles you, laugh more. Be more kind to yourself, you are awesome, you are valuable.
ZGutr 8 months ago (edited)
A good solid advise is this poem: Never leave without greeting, Never leave without a kiss. Whom meet his fate, can't do that tomorrow. Never walk away without talking, That can hurt a heart so much. What you left behind the morning, can be be gone at night --- By Toon Hermans (free translation from dutch)
gmf 8 months ago
Unsolicited advice, eh? 1. All advice on the internet can be safely ignored. 2. For anything else, see (1).
Dogs accept all (She/They) 8 months ago
i like where you're coming from, but do kind of look at the hipocracy.
Load More Replies... SomeoneTookMySweetRoll 8 months ago (edited)
Put away/Save money each month. Whether it’s in a savings account, IRA, or some other account. Even if it’s just $20. No you’re not going to buy a home or become a millionaire from it, you will however at least have some cash on hand. Like with your health and work, good financial habits usually lead to other good financial habits that will tremendously benefit you in the long run. Also, if your employer offers a contribution match on a retirement plan, TAKE IT! Yes, you walk away with a little less in your pocket each month, but not doing it is effectively like taking a 3-5% pay cut in your compensation. Plus, it gives you funds for your later life since (in the U.S.) you can’t touch those funds until age 59.5 at the earliest. I understand there are people who truly do work paycheck to paycheck, and never have any disposable cash. Obviously, these suggestions are difficult to implement for them. But if you have the means, you absolutely should.
Learner Panda 8 months ago
There is no behaviour - none - that can make a person gay. Stop spreading nonsense.
CORGI QUEEN 8 months ago
there are stereotypical gays but that is mostly false. I know someone who loves ts and they wear pink and have a Stanley and is very lesbian. which is completely against the masculine quirky lesbian stereotype.
Load More Replies... happyplants28 8 months ago
I actually definitely needed to hear this today! Time to go outside and touch some grass and make some memories!
Gavin Johnson 8 months ago
Watch a bee collecting pollen for a bit. Watch your children play. Stand at edge of the sea or a lake, ankle deep in water and stop, waste some time just stood there. Pick your favourite album and listen to it, not background, just you and the music, stop and let it wash over you. Be more kind. Pay it forward, a smile, a brew, a ‘good morning / afternoon’, be generous with things that cost little or nothing, your smile may improve someone’s day more than you imagine. Thank people more. Send that text or email, maybe ring that friend you’ve not spoken to for a bit, the best time to do it is today. Read more. Read to your kids, play the parts however badly, you and your kids will laugh, a lot! On that note, laugh, find that stuff that tickles you, laugh more. Be more kind to yourself, you are awesome, you are valuable.
ZGutr 8 months ago (edited)
A good solid advise is this poem: Never leave without greeting, Never leave without a kiss. Whom meet his fate, can't do that tomorrow. Never walk away without talking, That can hurt a heart so much. What you left behind the morning, can be be gone at night --- By Toon Hermans (free translation from dutch)
gmf 8 months ago
Unsolicited advice, eh? 1. All advice on the internet can be safely ignored. 2. For anything else, see (1).
Dogs accept all (She/They) 8 months ago
i like where you're coming from, but do kind of look at the hipocracy.
Load More Replies... SomeoneTookMySweetRoll 8 months ago (edited)
Put away/Save money each month. Whether it’s in a savings account, IRA, or some other account. Even if it’s just $20. No you’re not going to buy a home or become a millionaire from it, you will however at least have some cash on hand. Like with your health and work, good financial habits usually lead to other good financial habits that will tremendously benefit you in the long run. Also, if your employer offers a contribution match on a retirement plan, TAKE IT! Yes, you walk away with a little less in your pocket each month, but not doing it is effectively like taking a 3-5% pay cut in your compensation. Plus, it gives you funds for your later life since (in the U.S.) you can’t touch those funds until age 59.5 at the earliest. I understand there are people who truly do work paycheck to paycheck, and never have any disposable cash. Obviously, these suggestions are difficult to implement for them. But if you have the means, you absolutely should.
Learner Panda 8 months ago
There is no behaviour - none - that can make a person gay. Stop spreading nonsense.
CORGI QUEEN 8 months ago
there are stereotypical gays but that is mostly false. I know someone who loves ts and they wear pink and have a Stanley and is very lesbian. which is completely against the masculine quirky lesbian stereotype.
Load More Replies... happyplants28 8 months ago
I actually definitely needed to hear this today! Time to go outside and touch some grass and make some memories!
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