Get Premium
Dark mode theme is available exclusively for premium users. Learn more about the benefits of subscribing.
No fees, cancel anytime.
Dark Mode 
No fees, cancel anytime 
“Sorry Girl, Not Gonna Do That”: 30 Ridiculous Invitation Demands People Were Forced To Follow
Being invited to a celebration, especially by a person you care for dearly, is an exciting moment. If it’s a wedding, you might think about how filled with romance the couple’s special day is going to be or if it’s a birthday, you might go straight to thinking about what’s the best gift to get them.
But some people surprise their guests by showing that romance is not what they're focusing on during said special day or that they’ve already chosen a birthday gift that they want to receive (often costing the guests an arm and a leg).
Needless to say, unexpected choices such as expensive gifts or unreasonable requests don’t exactly get the guests more excited about the upcoming event. On the contrary, they might start to dread it or refuse to go altogether, as some of the people on today’s list did.
Netizens on Quora were asked about the most unreasonable requests and demands that they’ve seen on an invitation to an event or received from a relative hosting a holiday celebration. They shared quite a few stories, each one more unbelievable than the other, so if you’re curious about what bridezillas and other celebrants were brave enough to demand, scroll down to find their requests on the list below.
Below you will also find Bored Panda’s interview with an event planner and designer, a wedding and entertaining expert, David Tutera, who was kind enough to answer a few of our questions about odd requests.
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
1990. I'm married.
A male friend of ours is getting married and had asked my husband to be in the wedding party. He said yes. We had met his fiancée, Rachel, a handful of times but never got to know her on a personal level. Because of that, Rachel had suggested a get-together at her house prior to the wedding so that all the people who would be in the wedding could get to know one another. Makes sense.
A week later I got an invitation in the mail for the party, as well as a note stating:
“You are responsible for bringing 10 bottles of soda (must be name brand), home-made brownies for 25 people, 5 bags of chips (must be name brand). Each person can bring food to put on the grill but limited to a hamburger for each, or two hotdogs each, with a small piece of chicken. The rolls for these items have been assigned to “Luanne”, as well as all condiments (must be name brand).”
My eyes! I had to read it ten times to believe it was real! Bring our own food to fit on the grill? As well as other food?
My phone rang off the hook. Everyone was comparing their “YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS” list. She assigned one person to bring garbage bags and they were the clean-up crew. Another person was assigned decorations and linens.
I, along with several others, called Rachel to decline. Her response: “Okay. But you are still responsible for your list, so please drop those items off to my house ASAP”.
I told her that she is off her rocker.
Long story short, the party didn't happen. The wedding was postponed for over a year. It did finally happen. They divorced two years later.
RELATED:
#2
We made an unusual request for our wedding.
We were a bit older (37 and 43, first wedding for both), and doing pretty well, so we decided to have a nice event. We both had lots of friends by this age, so it was to be pretty big. We both loved children, didn’t have any at the time, and had been to too many boring weddings, where the guests had all been told no children were to attend.
We decided to turn that upside-down, and informed all of our guests that had children that they were not to hire babysitters, bring the kids, and if they showed up without them would be sent home to get them. Our venue had a loft that we set up as a kids area, and we hired a couple young ladies to help make sure the kids were safe and attended to.
We had 185 guests, about 40 of whom were children, from 3 weeks old to teenagers. It was delightful. There was exactly one “disciplinary incident” when a boy, about 6, threw something and almost knocked over a glass of wine, and thus had to be told not to throw things any more, please.
So that was the unreasonable demand — bring your kids, or else! Still the best day of my life.
Mad Dragon 5 months ago
I would want the option of leaving my kids at home because they hate events like these and don’t do well in crowds.
#3
Destination weddings. What possesses brides and grooms to believe that most of the people they know can afford to fly off to some exotic destination. And that all of their employers will have no problem giving them the time to do it. And that travel like that won’t be an issue for older people expected to attend … or young people who now have to figure out what to do with children for multiple overnights. I’ll toss one in for my pet owning friends … they’ll have to figure out what to do with rover and kitty for multiple days.
Even a destination a couple hours away can be a problem for some people. Those with no transportation, older people who can’t ride that far.
I’d have to say that the destination wedding is one of the most selfish and self serving wedding ideas I’ve heard of in my life.
Sue User 5 months ago (edited)
I always thought a destination wedding was similar to an elopement, you just decided to bring a few close friends. And you would have a gathering for grandparents/ cousins/ etc back home. Who expects Uncle Bill, who has a dodgy hip, to travel thousands of miles on their own dime to see them wed?
It’s safe to assume that celebrants tend to have odd requests not only for their guests, but the people who help make it all happen, too.
In a recent interview with Bored Panda, the event planning aficionado, David Tutera shared that over the course of his career, he had a fair share of people asking him to execute ideas that are far from typical. Be that as it may, “My philosophy has always been to say YES,” he said, adding that when you say yes, you open a new door that leads to unique moments and opportunities.
“The success that I have received over all the years of creating once in a lifetime events is because I have said yes and I have found ways to make all my clients excited and grateful,” the expert shared.
#4
So I got invited to a birthday party of a woman, a friend at that time. The venue was a 5-star restaurant. I was humbled and loved her for the invite. A few days before the party, she called and insisted on me bringing everyone, including my children and husband to the party. I was hesitant. If I were having a party at such an expensive place, I would not invite spouses and families. I refused. She insisted, and I had to give in. I bought an expensive gift for her, just to appreciate her gesture and efforts. It was a cold November night, an extreme cold weather alert in place I remember. We arrived on time. The servers were running left right and center, keeping up to our demands. The food was good. I tried to limit ordering, assuming it would be a burden on her. She kept assuring me, "It's okay-order what number 1 wants" etc. As the party came to an end, a server showed up with a leather folder and extended it to me. I looked at my husband, he gestured to me to open it. Inside was the bill of our food. A few hundred bucks. I looked at my husband again.
He knew the look on my face.
He quietly motioned me to pay it.
Did I have a choice?
Edit: Just so I am clear, it was you pay for your own food, just that no one knew it was until the servers showed up with bills. I love pay-for-your-own-food hangouts. But when you 'invite' people for birthday parties and then insist on bringing anyone for your own fun, try to make things clear before-hand. Sure I had money and I could pay. What if someone could not afford to pay and was caught off-guard? Because I know some were!
BewilderedBanana 5 months ago
The worst part was the insistence on bringing the rest of the family and to order whatever they wanted. If i'm trying to be careful with spending and the host says "it's ok, bring everyone and order whatever you want" it kind of implies that the host will be paying. Otherwise let me decide who to bring and what to order.
#5
Ive not seen anything unreasonable on the invite but was in a wedding and was asked not to sit so we dont wrinkle our bridesmaids poofzilla dresses while we wait for brides mom to finally show up. Considering the circumstance it was quite unreasonable. Maaaan! Polyester gold dress with cheap a*s shoes in a room that was africa hot with 1 fan…oh yea bad combo for me. I stood, mom showed an hour late, we walked to the wedding song to the front where the pastor was and IT WAS FULL OF VIDEO LIGHTING! It was hot as the surface of the sun up there. So while the bride, groom and pastor were ramble ramble rambling on I just passed the f*** out. Didnt even try to stop it or grab anything or yell out. I just thought ‘Its hot as f*** and Im sick of all this crap. Feel like Im boutaaa…….BLAP!’ It was sooooooo awesome!!LMAOOO! Want to know the best part? You can rewind and forward over and over and I go up down up down up down..heeee heeee comedy!
Shark Lady 5 months ago
I wonder what the bride thought about OP "stealing" the limelight by passing out! You just know she had some big feelings about it.
However, saying YES to unconventional ideas might not always be the best route to take when it comes to unreasonable or dangerous requests.
“When a client asks for something dangerous or out of line or uncomfortable for the guests, you need to explain how it may affect the energy of the guests, or even make them feel awkward,” Tutera said, adding that they might feel unsteady with what they believe or deem to be too dangerous, scandalous, or simply odd.
#6
I’ve got one. I was invited to a baby shower. The invitation said “no cards, bring a children’s picture book and write a message for the new baby and mother on the inside cover.’ Okay, that’s a little bossy, but I can deal with it. It also said “only use clear wrapping paper for your baby shower gift” and gave a list of places where you could get this clear paper. That seemed odd, but I thought “okay,” and I just did it.
Here’s where it got demanding. I arrived at the baby shower with my required picture book with message inside, and gift wrapped in clear paper. I finally understood why. You see, when a gift is in clear paper, the Mommy-to-be doesn’t have to bother opening it to see what your brought. Okay, that seemed really weird — a baby shower where the Mommy-to-be doesn’t actually open the gifts in front of the guests.
So I sat down with my gift (as I was directed by the lady giving the shower) and then I was handed a “thank you card, envelope, and a pen.’ I couldn’t imagine why. We were all then instructed to put our name and address on the envelope so the Mommy-to-be wouldn’t be burdened by having to address them herself. Okay. Then we were told to open the preprinted thank you card, which had a line for us to fill-in what we had bought as a gift! So it said “Thank you for very much for your gift of ___________________________. Our new little one greatly appreciates you.” Yes, we were being asked to fill out our own thank you cards for gifts the Mommy-to-be was not even going to bother to unwrap or look at during the shower.
I also later found out from one of the other “participants” that by wrapping them in clear paper, it made it much easier to return unwanted, un-needed, or duplicate gifts directly to the store, because it showed the gift had not been opened.
They had a sheet cake, a punch bowl of punch made with frozen mix and ginger ale, and that was it. There was no gift opening or acknowledgement, no baby games, nothing. We all just filled out our thank you cards, put our gifts on or around a table, and then the guests talked with each other, and then we left. I don’t think the Mommy-to-be even said a word to me.
And the last straw? The Mommy-to-be never even bothered to mail those thank you cards she had us address and fill-out.
#7
I was the one making the request, but it wasn't on the invitation.
Having attended many weddings and other events from my wife's family, I knew there would be certain family members that would show up to ours in just T shirts and jeans. Not acceptable.
So in the weeks leading up to the wedding, I went to have tea with the aunts and cousins from her fily that loved to gossip and spread a rumor that some of my friends from the army that had been in special forces were going to stand at the entrance with paintball guns and shoot anyone who showed up in t-shirts and jeans.
Not surprising, not one showed up in casual clothes and a few people who I had expected to kept asking me where the special forces guys were.
Somebodys grandmother 5 months ago (edited)
🤣🤣. This is good!!!! Special forces- are known to hide...
#8
I was chosen as a bridesmaid for one of my friend. However, the bridesmaid dress that she chose was way too expensive ( I was a student in University and money was tight ). In addition to that I had to pay for the package of skin and hair treatment prior the D-day at the spa that she chose. And on the D-Day itself I also had to pay for the hairstylist and the make up person that she ‘provided’ for us bridesmaids. Those things are seriously expensive! And she didn’t allow us to do the hair and makeup ourselves as she was afraid that we won’t look good in a pictures.
Also, she explicitly said that she expected us bridesmaids to gifted her something from the list of the wedding registry that she had prepared and those stuff were waayyy beyond my means . So nope..sorry girl, not gonna do that. Not ready to sell my kidneys yet. There were also 2 other girls that were unwilling to do that.
Tutera emphasized that the role of the event planner is to bring to life moments that have never been seen, which requires knowing your client well and researching how best to take it to the next level; yet there are times when they simply have to say no.
“Just because a client is asking us professionals to do something, we do not have to execute the idea; if you feel that it will tarnish your name, your career, or insult someone, you should take the high road and pass.
“Do not say you can do it; simply tell them that you will not be able to execute what they are looking for.”
#9
An invitation from a former friend’s granddaughter stated at the bottom, “No gifts valued at less than $100 will be accepted. See registry at ___________. Cash preferred.
How would they know whether it was $98 or $102? Does that $100 include tax, and shipping, if ordered online? At the time, I was not working and had a small fixed income. $100 might as well have been $1000.
I declined the invitation and simply sent the new couple a card wishing them well. I guess that might be why Grandma and I are now former friends.
Mad Dragon 5 months ago
No gifts valued at less than $100 will be accepted? I would have interpreted that as, “No gifts.”
#10
We got an invitation to a wedding from one of my friend’s daughter. She actually wrote that she “wanted” cash; $100.00 or more. Nothing else because she has exquisite taste and she could do her own shopping. (Lol. ). Her last statement said that if you could not give her the cash she requested, then stay home. Can you guess how I spent my Saturday? Lol. yeah, I know!
#11
My first wedding was ginormous as my parents invited a gazillion people.
I had asked them for two things:
That I should personally know the guests, and
That the guests don’t get wasted and fight.
Both requests were apparently unreasonable and declined by my parents
Discussing the times he had to—or at least tried to—say no, David Tutera shared that he once had a client who wanted to be lowered down into the ballroom, seeking to make the moment come to life.
“She wanted to be lowered down in her heavy wedding gown,” he recalled. “I said that the only way she could make this happen was if she took weeks if not months of practice.
“She did take on the challenge—I should have known she wouldn’t chicken out—and she did not make the moment come to life.”
#12
Every year my family has a xmas eve buffet at my brothers house since he has a very large home, with exchanging of gifts,my niece had to work xmas eve and said she was working till 7pm she knew her work schedule all week but waited till the last minute 12/24 to tell everyone she had to work, our family party was already planned & everybody was there and it started at 7pm, she demanded that we all wait till she got there ,before we all sat down to eat. We have several elderly family members that needed to eat as their sugar levels were dropping as it was now getting close to 8:30 and my niece didn't even bother call to let us know when she be getting there !
We had kids crying wanting to eat and the elderly that needed to eat, food getting cold, so we all decided to sit down and eat and guess what time princess arrived ? 9:45 ! She got off work at 8:00 and then went to her boyfriends house and spent time there , then she went home to get a shower and out of her work clothes and then came over to my brothers house and had the nerve to be mad and screaming at everybody,because we all had eaten and we were starting opening gifts without her ! Who in the hell did she think she was ? She never called to let us know, when she would be getting there,she was inconsiderate and downright rude ,no respect for anybody else or thinking about anybody else .
Joey Jo Jo Shabadoo 5 months ago
No wonder the niece is psychotic if people actually entertained the idea instead of just saying no outright. You wait until everyone in the house is seated to eat, not everyone in the family!
#13
There’s a slight chance that this is an exaggeration but my cousin is not one to tell tall tales.
He and his wife are both high-school teachers and they were invited to the wedding of a fellow teacher. The wedding ceremony and reception all took place at the same venue - outdoor ceremony and covered pavilion for the reception. The wedding invitation had declared that the reception would be alcohol-free and vegan, being “animal cruelty free”, but without providing serious details. Not a problem - but a bit of a surprise as their fellow teacher was not known for outspoken or strong beliefs. Well, upon entry, ushers were turning away guests who were not in compliance with this protocol.
What does that mean? Well, basically, people wearing leather shoes or belts, or carrying leather purses or wearing animal products (silk maybe, feathers?) were turned away by these ushers. A few women were able to ditch their purses in their cars, but not everyone was so lucky. My cousin had to show that he wasn’t wearing a leather belt, and his wife declared her shoes to be “imitation leather” even though they may have been real.
Several of their co-workers went home after being turned away because, well, not everyone brings a second pair of shoes with them for an outdoor, summer wedding. (What I mean is that most of the women wore sandals or wedges rather than stilettos because they don’t work well for walking outdoors on grass.)
So my cousin explained that this “WTF” moment was sprung on all the guests. The bride decided, last minute, that she had to do something to make her wedding “responsible”. She was a vegetarian (but not a vegan), and got this idea off the internet. But it’s shocking that ushers were literally “frisking” people. I don’t know if they checked pockets or purse contents for leather wallets or keychains, but this was beyond the pale.
I have heard of weddings being “dry” - alcohol free - and that certain untrustworthy individuals were checked for bringing in hip flasks, but that’s usually reserved for the alcoholic deadbeat brother-in-law specifically, and not the general public. For a wedding which invited people on the periphery of friendship, this was a bad idea and certainly didn’t endear the happy couple to any but their most hardcore, militant vegan friends.
ॐBoyGanesh 5 months ago
This is absolutely perforative. Cutting down on consumption and waste of the wedding is an environmentally conscious thing to do. Turning away people for the possessions they already have is in no way environmental or animal rights action. It’s just for show. I wonder how many of those people who left stopped at a fast food restaurant and got a burger or had a steak, since they weren’t fed that delicious vegan/vegetarian dinner. I bet you I can almost guarantee that there was more consumption of animal and animal products and more unnecessary environmental waste because of how they approached their wedding than had they simply had a nice ceremony with vegetarian and/or vegan food options.
#14
“We will be having only our traditional foods, which everyone will be expected to share. Please set aside your usual dietary restrictions to come together as a family. No outside/unapproved food will be permitted.”
I'm f**king serious. I get that food becomes really complicated in a family with allergies, celiac, vegans, diabetics, and people on keto and WW, as well as religious restrictions, but your longing for a simplified table doesn't mean you get to make bulls**t demands.
Another time the event planning professional remembers showing warning signs was when the father of a bride wanted to sing a song to his daughter, but did not want to practice; nor was he willing to pay for a second generator for power.
“I begged him to get the second generator,” David shared. “When it was time for him to sing, he stepped on the stage, and let’s just say he was beyond awful. You can’t say I did not try to have him not step onto the stage.”
#15
My wife was asked to be a bridesmaid at my sister’s wedding. Then my sister proceeded to tell those in her wedding party that the wedding is on Eleuthera Island in the Bahamas, and the stay will be 3 days. There was no prior notice of this because she wanted it to be “a surprise”. All six girls declined - the costs would be over $3000 for each of them. To this day, sis still doesn't get why it was considered unreasonable.
Michael Largey 5 months ago
Ask sis to fork up the $18,000 herself, and maybe things will be clearer to her.
#16
“Lunch Party Tomorrow at 12”.
I received a work email for the following day from one of our team members. No reason was specified in the email, just the time and place to be. Usually, such lunch or dinner invitations are Project’s achievement related. I guessed this too was something similar.
Our entire team arrives, thirty people in total. It was a buffet lunch at Barbeque Nation.
After dessert, the boss of my boss excused himself to leave early for some urgent work. Before leaving he glanced at me, smiled and said “Thank You! “
I was confused but smiled back out of courtesy.
Another team member probably sensed my confusion. She said in a humorous way, whether I was aware that I am sponsoring their lunch. My jaw dropped!
Turns out people who got promoted are treating all the team members. A total of six people, out of which four are considerably senior and so is their hike!
The whole thing was their idea and I ended up becoming a clueless contributor. Who neither got to have a say nor had any knowledge about being one of the hosts!
#17
This was the tackiest thing I’ve ever seen. I was not involved in the wedding, but you certainly couldn’t miss it.
Back around 1979, the daughter of a prominent local couple was getting married. They owned a big hotel, so were well off and built a new house in a very prominent place in town. The daughter got married.
However, after the wedding there was a huge article in the local paper about the wedding. This was not the custom, so I’m not sure if they paid to have the article put in there or what the deal was.
It described in great detail everything about the wedding including how much every thing cost. For example, “the brides mother Mary, wore a beautiful gown, costing $3,000.” It went on to list how much everything cost. I couldn’t believe it.
Then it went on to say how each guest was required to bring a money gift of at least $500. Which today would probably be about $1,500. I don’t know why anyone would attend a wedding like that.
It was the tackiest thing I’ve ever seen.
D. Tutera revealed that sometimes he has to say no to his clients not only because what they are asking for is not safe, but because it might be harmful to himself, too. “When clients ask for ridiculous things, I sometimes say no because it comes back to me as the planner and the designer, and [the event] must represent who we are as a company.
“Everyone always remembers the last work we did,” the expert emphasized, adding that it’s important to make choices that will ensure that you stand out for all the right reasons.
#18
A good friend was dating a woman for some years, they moved in together, and got engaged. I was invited to the wedding. I regretfully declined.
The wedding was a 3 day event in the middle of nowhere Napa valley basically camping out. No amenities beyond a few communal cabins with cots. No showers. Very basic toilette facilities. Cooking on portable butane stoves…with food you brought yourself.
No thanks buddy.
#19
Think planes, trains, and automobiles. And boats.
The couple lived in a major American city but decided to have their wedding on a hard-to-get-to Caribbean island. The guests had to fly 4+ hours to one Caribbean island, then take a bus, then a boat to the destination island because that island was too small to have an airstrip. We left our house around 6am and didn’t arrive at the final destination until about 12 hours later.
We had to pay for our own cabs to the hotel — I mean, every single person was coming from the US and onto the same boat dock on the island, so why didn’t they at least have a shuttle to take us to the hotel? (Same when we went home a couple of days later — we had to pay for all transportation.)
Of course, we had to pay for our hotel rooms. And most meals. This was peak travel season, by the way, so prices were very jacked up.
It was sad that so many family members couldn’t make the wedding. It was right before Christmas, so (1) kids were in school, and parents didn’t want to pull them out for a destination wedding, (2) families couldn’t afford to spend so much right before a holiday, (3) the old people who did attend were highly uncomfortable with all the traveling — seasickness was just one issue, (4) it was like a mandatory vacation for the guests. I would never have chosen to vacation at that spot because it was highly inconvenient and extremely expensive.
I’ve had the misfortune to be invited to other destination weddings, but this one took the cake. It was as though they chose the most expensive and least accessible option they could think of. Very unreasonable to ask your guests to travel so far and spend so much, just so the couple could be “different.” Thus far, the difference between this and every other wedding I’ve attended is that I still get mad when I think about this one.
Fat Harry (Oi / You) 5 months ago
I don't understand anyone who who acquiesce to these sorts of demands. If I were invited to a wedding like this, I don't care who you are, it would be a straight up no from me.
#20
“This is my wedding going on, shut up everyone! Be serious!”
I had a distant aunt who was known for her eccentricities. Hindu weddings can have up to 4–5 hours of constant rituals on stage as the guests watch on or talk amongst themselves.
This was one of those routine weddings where children and parents meandered around the wedding hall meeting relatives while the couple performed ancient rituals in front of a fire. It is not meant to be a movie that everyone watches. There is nothing entertaining about it except the beginning and ending where the guests participate by showering rice on the couple.
Anyway, in the middle of the 3rd hour on a very hot Bombay afternoon, we heard the chanting stop and all the murmurs in the hall died down as the bride suddenly stood up and made her way to the microphone.
“This is my wedding going on, shut up everyone! Be serious!”
I can completely understand that the guests need to respect the occasion, however, the crowd wasn’t even all that loud. In fact, most of the kids were playing in the garden, the adults were eating, and the only people even having soft conversations were the seniors.
It was very awkward and her parents got extremely embarrassed. Her husband didn’t react but….now….15 years later…they are divorced and he got the kids.
Stardust she/her 5 months ago
I’ve attended so many weddings as a hindu and nobody besides the pandit, bride and groom focus on the wedding rituals. My family usually just sits at the end of the hall and chat with our other relatives
#21
A bit of a background here. I have PTSD and I have anxiety and panic attacks. I am actually disabled due to them. I have ended up in the ER with them several times. I do not deal well with crowds. I do NOT do parties. There is to much noise and to many people. Holidays, including birthdays, in my family are done in a quiet fashion not a lot of people beyond immediate family. I drop in and say hi and leave as soon as my chest tightens. ALL of my family knows this about me. On to the unreasonable request.
My first grandchild was having his first birthday. LOTS of my son and DIL’s friends and her family were invited. Im talking 40 strangers to me. He and his parents live a four hour drive from me. When I received my invitation to the party I declined citing my PTSD. I said I would be very happy to come a day before or after at their connivance. I would be happy to bring the cake and ice cream and a pizza or what ever. I didn't want to put them out for a special day on their dime. My daughter in law threw a tantrum of epic proportions wondering why I couldn't just suck it up for one day, wasn't he special or important enough? I tried to explain No I couldnt just suck it up. I would be driving four hours one way to be there. I would be there a maximum of MAYBE 30 minutes and have to go. Then a four hour drive with a tight chest as the best case scenario. Staying at a hotel isnt an option as I mentioned I am disabled so not a ton of spare cash. She was so nasty to me I actually DID end up in the ER with a panic attack. I havent seen or heard from them for two years now.
So the unreasonable request was that I put out the money to drive an 8 hour round trip to go to a birthday party I could attend for 30 minutes max. One that would land me in the ER.
#22
This answer is really going to date me, but so be it. I received an invitation in which the bride and groom asked for money only. They wanted to take s 3 month tour overseas and wanted the guests to pay for it. It was suggested that you give $100 per person if a friend, $250 per person if a bridal party member and $500 if you were family. I was told they expected it whether you attended or not. I just thought it was rudely presented as a demand not a request. They expected us to give them $500 because our 3 children were invited. I haven’t even had a tour of Europe!
Michael Largey 5 months ago
I would only consider funding their tour if they promised not to return.
#23
Had to be that time I was roped into a Bachelorette party where the bride (who was in the group chat with about 30 of her other ‘friends’) clearly stated she desired:
To go bar hopping,
In a pimped our bus, fully stocked with alcohol,
Then to go back to a hotel room with ‘all the girls’
Have dinner and more drinks, with dessert of phallic-themed cake,
Enjoying a performance by a male stripper,
Thence to open all her gifts.
She also wanted to do it all the Saturday before her wedding, fair enough; however it just so happened to be my birthday.
I quietly observed all the messages coming in. Lots of excitement over decor, bar options, games etc. None of those options were what I’d call fun.
A few days after came the costing from the maid of honour. No big deal, each guest would contribute the equivalent of US$150, plus a personalized t-shirt, in addition to bringing the bride a gift (lingerie, size small, purple is he favourite colour) and either a bottle of booze, or an appetizer.
I exited the group chat right after. I didn’t know the bride very well, we were acquaintances at best. I wasn’t even invited to her wedding, and she hadn’t reached out to confirm if I wanted to be a part of her bachelorette.
It was quite clear to me I was invited to make up numbers to lesson the cost of this extravagant event per person. The wedding itself had fewer that 100 invited guests, so I’m sure many others in the group were similarly roped in.
I politely declined to her via DM using my birthday clash as the excuse. She never replied and we haven’t spoken since.
#24
We were invited to attend, and made plans to be at the wedding, which was across the country. We’d talked to the groom several times, and told him we were making a family trip of it. It was planned out to attend 3–4 months in advance. Less than a month prior, the groom told us we couldn’t bring our kid, and that the recommended hotel for attending didn’t have any services to watch our child. We’d booked tickets, bought clothes, and made arrangements to be there. They recommended that maybe we could leave the child, unattended (who was 2 at the time), in the room for the ceremony, and then I should stay with the child while my husband attended the reception. We didn’t go to the wedding, or take that trip. If the invitation had noted that no children were to attend, it would have been acceptable but that was not the case.
Michael Largey 5 months ago
"leave the child, unattended (who was 2 at the time), in the room for the ceremony". Let's hope that this groom never becomes a parent.
#25
This happened back in the mid to late 90s: we were having our then usual Christmas eve family get-together, but at our house (we usually didn’t host). It was to be for four adults and two babies. Then my aunt, who lived out of state, and was suffering from PTSD told us she would be with us. She gave us a week’s notice or so, and that was all fine, and I was happy to know she’d be with family at Christmastime.
My husband had decided to cook a special roast, a certain kind his grandmother used to cook. It was to be cut so that each person had a portion, and my husband had bought the roast based on the exact number of people, which was to be the five adults. Then, just a few hours before everyone was to arrive, my aunt’s daughter (my first cousin) announced that she would be coming, along with her spouse. And she would be spending the night at our house. I called around and all grocery stores were closed. We didn’t have enough to serve everyone, AND my husband had to “hack up” the roast in a manner that wasn’t the lovely way he had planned to cut it, for perfect portions.
I was prepared to tell my cousin I’m sorry, but we can’t accommodate you for dinner, but you’re welcome to come afterward and stay on our sleeper sofa. But my dad would not have that! And I didn’t want a fight at Christmas. So my husband and I ate less than planned, and no one but my husband and I knew how the roast portions were supposed to look anyway. So it all turned out ok—for everyone except me and my husband.
I know others will have answers about way more unreasonable situations. But this one really bothered me a lot. I don’t know how some people can be so inconsiderate and imposing, by showing up last minute as a dinner and house guest, especially on a holiday. And I know my cousin well enough to doubt that she would tolerate such behavior if I did it to her.
Shark Lady 5 months ago
There are too many people who demand standards of behaviour that they do not meet themselves. It's the height of bad manners to invite yourself to a celebration, but even worse when it is at such short notice.
#26
The request (actually demand fits it better) wasn’t regarding the wedding per se, it was what was written in the pre-nup by the groom (paraphrasing):
In the event of divorce, the disposition of any children shall be decided by the King of Spain.
Both the bride and groom were citizens of the USA. At the time of the wedding, the groom was a Captain in the US Army. The bride was a second-generation American, and the groom and his parents had escaped from Cuba when he was about nine, and it was where all three were born.
The groom’s parents were lovely, kind and generous people; they didn’t have a snobbish bone in their bodies. How they got that self-centered, bastard with his fixation about being descended from Spanish nobility (he was, but you’re talking 12th Century relations, not 18th Century).
Thankfully, the bride made the groom remove that paragraph from the pre-nup. If only she’d removed the groom instead, she wouldn’t have had to experience twelve years of heartache and emotional abuse from him.
Michael Largey 5 months ago
On the other hand, all pre-nups should contain a provision forbidding "Lady of Spain" from being played at the reception - especially on the accordian.
#27
A few years ago I received a very pretty invite to an acquaintance’s wedding. It arrived in a white box with pink border, opened to the invite tied together with a big pink ribbon bow and included the RSVP card, picture of bride and groom and other extra items. It weighed a veritable ton.
A few weeks before the wedding, another friend of mine called. She is much closer to the bride than I am so I mentioned seeing her at the wedding. She laughed and said the invites were the oddest thing she had ever seen. I thought she meant all the pomp and prissiness of them. Found out she received a different invite than I did.
Hers was a standard Shutterfly type of invite in a plain envelope. Her invite looked a bit like this.
Yep, she received a gift request, not an invite. never did find out why I received an invite and the closer acquaintance to the bride did not. I did not attend the wedding or send a gift. Neither did my friend.
ॐBoyGanesh 5 months ago
How much you wanna bet the wedding party assumed the acquaintance had more disposable income and/or was a more generous gift-giver than the person closer?
#28
Wow! It's difficult to choose, there were so many awful ones - selfish, entitled, greedy and so on. A few examples:
The bride who enclosed a “dress code” with her invitations. Not just something simple, like “black tie” but a laundry list of what is and is not acceptable, including a suggested amount to spend on your outfit for her big day
The couples (yes, multiple) who asked their guests to pay for their wedding costs, their wedding food and beverages, their honeymoon, a house down payment and even……wait for it……..to help pay off their student loans. Sorry, folks, it is ALWAYS tacky to ask for money. Some guests will probably give some but for heaven's sake, don't ask!
The couple who used their invitations to announce the bride's pregnancy AND let the guests know they would be combining the wedding with a baby shower; thereby letting guests know to bring a gift for each. You can't make this stuff up!!
The couples who thought it would be neat to have their wedding on Thanksgiving and Christmas; thereby robbing their guests, vendors and staff of being with their families on the holiday.
The couple who selected a venue nearly 5 hours from ANYTHING, including hotels; thereby requiring all the guests to spend nearly 10 hours driving back and forth. Needless to say, and much to their surprise, they had a very low turnout. Even some close family members declined that drive.
This is just a sampling. I realize it's your Big Day but you are also the host. You are also responsible for ensuring your guests have a pleasant time.
One last thing, it is NOT wrong, insulting or selfish for couples to indicate their wedding is “adults only” or “no kids allowed.” That choice IS appropriately determined by the bride and groom. If this is the case, DO NOT bring your children. If you dislike adult fun or cannot manage a sitter, stay home. That may soubd harsh but for some reason, a good number of people today think the rules don't apply to them. Others may live your children but have the absolute right to determine the atmosphere they wish to create for their special day. Get over it. You're not that special!!
#29
NO CHILDREN. NO SMARTPHONES. NO MAIDS.
Yes, you read that right. This is a common request/demand seen on most local Qatari wedding cards.
Qatari weddings are held simultaneously in two venues - one for the men and one for the women. This is on the women’s side invite that these requests are typically seen
Trev Fontaine 5 months ago
Shock that a bunch of racists and women haters have s****y weddings
#30
I remember it happening some years back that my mom’s dad and stepmother were placed on various dietary restrictions by doctors, and when my Mom had them over for a holiday meal, they expected her to plan the entire menu around that.
And the “unreasonable” part comes in because their mindset was that if they couldn’t have salt, butter, tomatoes,…etc., then nobody should serve or have a dish with those things in them.
What do you think ?
Steve Hall 5 months ago
I just tell everyone that I charge $30,000 for public appearances, it saves me from a lot of problems.
V Noe 5 months ago
I hope you don't mind that I am borrowing that statement for the next 30 years. (And yeah, if people want to throw it back in my face at my funeral, fine - the smaller the after-funeral party, the bigger the endowment to the Home for Indigent Felines.)
Load More Replies...
Not-a-Clue (she/her) 5 months ago
We solved all these problems by not inciting anyone to our's 😂
Load More Replies...
Alexandra 5 months ago
It always baffles me that it's apparently very, very difficult to find a happy medium between how a groom and bride see their day going and what their guests are capable of. You don't ask a friend with little money to be a bridesmaid if it involves paying for a dress, make-up, hairstyling and what have you. If you want her there, that should supersede your so-called 'aesthetic'. If you want your frail grandmother there and she needs a companion or a wheelchair or she can only be present for the dinner, you make arrangements for that. Yes, it's a lot of work and no, you're not entitled to everyone bending to your wishes just because you get married.
Papa 5 months ago
One of the OPs above mentioned that too many brides and grooms forget that they are also hosts. If they would remember that much of that self-centered behavior would be alleviated.
Load More Replies...
Steve Hall 5 months ago
I just tell everyone that I charge $30,000 for public appearances, it saves me from a lot of problems.
V Noe 5 months ago
I hope you don't mind that I am borrowing that statement for the next 30 years. (And yeah, if people want to throw it back in my face at my funeral, fine - the smaller the after-funeral party, the bigger the endowment to the Home for Indigent Felines.)
Load More Replies... Not-a-Clue (she/her) 5 months ago
We solved all these problems by not inciting anyone to our's 😂
Load More Replies... Alexandra 5 months ago
It always baffles me that it's apparently very, very difficult to find a happy medium between how a groom and bride see their day going and what their guests are capable of. You don't ask a friend with little money to be a bridesmaid if it involves paying for a dress, make-up, hairstyling and what have you. If you want her there, that should supersede your so-called 'aesthetic'. If you want your frail grandmother there and she needs a companion or a wheelchair or she can only be present for the dinner, you make arrangements for that. Yes, it's a lot of work and no, you're not entitled to everyone bending to your wishes just because you get married.
Papa 5 months ago
One of the OPs above mentioned that too many brides and grooms forget that they are also hosts. If they would remember that much of that self-centered behavior would be alleviated.
Load More Replies... You May Like Wedding Planners Share 24 Stories About The Craziest Wedding Demands They’ve Ever Received People Share What Ruined Weddings They Attended, Here Are The 43 Best Stories “My Niece Was Ugly”: Teen Wears White To Aunt’s Wedding, Ends Up Photoshopped In The Pictures
Rūta Zumbrickaitė
Mindaugas Balčiauskas
Indrė Lukošiūtė
Related on Bored Panda
