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Time and again, we've all wondered if it’d be possible to live in a society where there are no rules. But norms of everyday life have somewhat the same function as the rules of games: they tell us what ‘moves' are allowed and which ones are not. Not only do our interactions run smoothly, but the whole world we live in feels harmonious and in order.
So in order to really see how and which rules govern our lives, and what we make of them, we have to look at the universal, unspoken ones that everyone should be aware of, if they already aren’t. Shared by people in various Reddit threads, some of these rules are simple no-brainers, others represent more elaborate conventions, so let’s see which ones people pointed out as the most important ones.
Scroll down, share your thoughts in the comment section and be sure to check out our previous post with more of the “unwritten rules” of life.
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
If someone you don't know suddenly strikes up a desperate conversation and seems to be wary of their surroundings while on a night out - they are your best friend. Best friend. Because they're probably being harassed by another drunken patron and need some backup and I don't care if it's your mortal enemy, you act like you love them because they've got problems.
You do not ignore someone like that.
KJ 3 years ago
I had this happen years ago, randomly bumped into an ex co-worker while out shopping with my girlfriend at the time, ex co-worker rushed up to us and started apologising for running late for our lunch date. I stood totally clueless, my girlfriend threw her arms around the ex co-worker (they had met once before at a works do) and said glad she had finally turned up but the table was booked for only three (bloke left). Blew my mind when they explained over lunch.
RELATED:
#2
If your dress has pockets, you must tell everyone.
#3
If a two year old speaks gibberish to you, you reply with either "you think so?" Or "thank you for telling me".
If you ever ask yourself who the hell created all these rules, and why we all need to abide by them, this one's for you. I have to agree that the idea of a free society where each individual is allowed to roam freely, with no obligations or consequences, has something appealing about it.
#4
If somebody gives their phone to look at a picture don't scroll and see all their other pictures.
#6
Give me six feet of space when I’m at the ATM or the urinal. Basically, whenever I’m taking valuables out of my pants.
And some rules are so embedded into our society, we don’t dare to question them. “Societies going back thousands of years have had ‘unwritten rules.’ Unwritten rules would be defined as normal, accepted behavior that everyone (or almost everyone!) is willing to adhere to,” Susan Petang, a certified life coach and the author of “The Quiet Zone Coaching,” told Bored Panda. Susan teaches women how to stop feeling overwhelmed and start waking up happy in the morning again.
She continued: “They're necessary not only for keeping order, but establishing boundaries and defining what is considered kind, polite, or compassionate—or rude!—in that particular culture.”
#7
If you work in childcare and see a baby walk for the first time you don’t say anything to the parent.
Joanna Blake 3 years ago
I used to work in nurserys and some many parents feel soooooo guilty about not being there for their kids and having to go back to work, it would break the parents hearts to know they missed that milestone. Normally at pick up I would say they look so close to walking it will be any day now and then the parents tell you that they forgot to say at drop off but they took their first steps last night or at the weekend. It is the kids moment and any nursery nurses with them celebrate the heck out of it, but it's an unwritten rule of courtesy for the parents x
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Wyn Williams 3 years ago
My son's first word was dad, I never told his mum as he said Äiti (mum in Finnish) soon after and she was so happy
Marianne Saiso 3 years ago
Because parents come in gloating their kid walked for the first time. And usually they're in daycare from way before they could even stand. You know. And you know you saw it last week, but you just don't tell. Because they'll feel like horrible failure parents for having missed that milestone. And they just are not.
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Nina Johansson 3 years ago
This did not happen to me, my kindergarten teacher told my mum as she came to pick me up. I was quite late walking thought.
Agamemnon Padar 3 years ago
Oh yes. Never thought about that. So true. Luckily I have nothing to do with childcare
Cierra Stessl 3 years ago
Worse, some young kids will at some point for a short while think all caretakers are "mom." Not all moms understand this. Always correct and try not to let mom find out. "Mom's at work now, I'm auntie how can I help you?" "There's mom say hi mom!" Even if it's their only word to get a caretaker's attention right now they'll learn a new easy word very quickly if you give them one.
Sheila Okanga 2 years ago (edited)
Absolutely! Let them have the 'first' experience. It is important to Parents.
Vincent Singleton 3 years ago
What happens if the baby hurts itself walking: "How did my baby get to the steps to fall down them?"
Karen Grant 3 years ago
The delicacy of unwritten rules is having the grace to make necessary exceptions.
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Karen Grant 3 years ago
The consequence of a care provider letting you think the milestones happened on your watch, is that you are NOT the last to know. Preserving special moments for the family is considerate and does not indicate general untrustworthiness. Most parents would think the opposite, that the provider actually does care about the family.
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Petra, princess of Brigid 3 years ago
That still isn't an excuse to take that moment away.
Load More Replies... Anki Apfel 3 years ago
Nah, it's not. Those first times (the first time standing, the first step, the first word) are very precious memories for most parents. So, if they miss them, they can become a little bit sad and maybe fear to miss some more... aaand eventually go crazy and become helicopter parents... We don't want that to happen, right?
Load More Replies... #8
If you're watching garbage Facebook videos in the break room and other people are trying to enjoy their hour of peace wear some [freaking] headphones Alana.
Serial pacifist 3 years ago
Don't watch porn either. Or you can, just to overpower Alana's garbage FB videos.
#9
An appearance flaw that cannot be easily changed shall be completely ignored.
What’s interesting is that even now, different cultures can have different unwritten rules. “For example, burping after a meal in China is considered a compliment, and here in the US, it's considered rude. By having these unwritten rules, we also can more easily identify when others are upset with us or being dismissive,” Susan said and added that “it's like having an emotional shorthand.”
#11
When using tongs, you must always click them together a couple times.
Warloew Brinn 3 years ago
Gotta give them a couple test clicks to make sure everything is in order.
#12
For any space holding people (train, elevator, classroom), let people exit before you try to enter
Lilith the Demon Panda 3 years ago (edited)
yes! this! I always thought western Europe was civilized until I rode metro there... and I would add: after you exit dont f*****g stop right in front of the door, move the f**k out of the way!
Susan believes that our lives might be more complicated, and possibly more lawless, if we didn't have expected rules of behavior. “Imagine how chaotic life would be if people could randomly punch others in the nose if they didn't like what was being said or done?”
On the other hand, there are times when unwritten rules of behavior can be complicated and unnecessary, the life coach argues. “They can also be prejudicial. For example, it can be difficult for those with autism to understand some of the social nuances that we take for granted—which might make them feel ostracized, unaccepted, or unloved.”
#13
Small wave at the driver when they stop at the crosswalk so they know you know they saw you.
Serial pacifist 3 years ago
Also, wave at the driver who lets you cut in when there is an unbelievable rush and you've been waiting for long enough to get into the lane. A friendly honk is welcome too.
#14
You do not initiate small talks with someone with their headphones on.
#15
When a child hands you a toy phone, you pretend to have a conversation.
The life coach added that there are also unwritten rules in some cultures that can be interpreted as rude or boorish in others. “Our earlier example of burping is one; another might be how some cultures consider bargaining for everything to be OK, while in other cultures it's considered rude to question the cost of something.”
#16
If you offer something, you offer twice only. If they say no both times you don't push it
#17
Don't make marks in a book that someone loaned to you. That means no dog-earing the pages, no highlighting/underlining/circling phrases and no writing notes in the margins. If you want to do that crap, get your own copy, don't ask to borrow a copy from me.
#19
If you’re securing something in a truck bed or trailer, you must always say “that ain’t goin’ anywhere” once you’ve finished.
#20
Don’t put your phone on speaker in public places
Gin. No tonic 3 years ago (edited)
Unless they're a senior citizen. This might still seem rude to you, but it might be the only way they know how to answer their phone or hear the conversation.
#21
Put it back in the same place you found it.
Orange is aging 3 years ago
I know my room looks messy, but everything still has a place. Don’t put my stuff just anywhere, you monster
#22
Do not stand still in any choke-point of an indoor or outdoor space. Doesn't have to be a doorway or hallway.
#23
“In the house of a hanged man, don’t talk about rope”
Old proverb. Meaning don’t dig up old, nasty stuff with people you know will be uncomfortable/offended
#24
When using a stud finder, you must first point it at yourself and go "beep"
#25
If you are done using the microwave and there is time left, you must clear off the remaining time.
Don't be a savage.
#26
When walking through a door and someone is behind you, hold the door long enough so the person doesn't get hit by it.
#27
Closing your mouth when you chew.
Serial pacifist 3 years ago
Unbelievably irritating. I don't need to watch you process your bites, Alana.
#29
If someone asks if you have a pad or tampon and you have one give it to her. You'd want someone to do the same for you.
Donkey boi 3 years ago
I remember (overhearing) my mam giving advice to my big sister, which included 'ALWAYS carry tampons & pads, even when you're not on your period. You never know when you friend might need one'. For 3 years I carried around female sanitary products! Before I realised my friends were not likely to ask me, what with me being a boy.
#30
If a child shoots you with a toy gun you act hurt or pretend to die for them. No questions asked. I learned this when I became an aunt lol.
#31
Zipper Rule: when driving and two lanes become one drivers merge from alternate lanes one at a time right left right left ... like a zipper.
#32
If you notice something on someone that can be fixed within 5 minutes, tell them (Shirt stain, food in teeth etc)
#33
Never expect a friend to fix your car for free or for a six pack. Ask them how much they'll charge you. If they do ask for beer, ask their favorite. Don't buy cheap s**t
Cactus McCoy 3 years ago
I believe in the exchange of abilities and do not accept money from friends Everybody has different ones, so we help each other out. Works like a charm. This does not involve costs for spare parts or similar, of course.
#35
Don't ruin Santa Claus for little kids
#37
DO NOT! I repeat, DO NOT go through someone’s night stand drawers.
#38
If the teacher makes a mistake that benefits everyone (forgets homework, leaves answers on the board, etc) you don't point it out!
Julieandthephatones 3 years ago
yes it soooo annoying when someone points out that the teach forgot to check homework
#40
The problem magically goes away when the person who's there to fix it shows up.
#41
You don't reject your grandma's offer of food (at least in Mexico)
#42
Covering your mouth when sneezing...although everyone doesn't always do it
#43
There will always be a demilitarized urinal between two urinating men, unless overpopulation becomes a factor, in which case participating piddlers will look either straight forward or directly down at their dingle dongle.
#44
If you're in a public toilet, don't piss on the toilet seat. Sadly, there are always people that disregard that rule.
#45
If you have two friends over, who don't know each other, you don't leave them alone.
The exception to this rule is if you are trying to set them up
#46
When walking in a store, treat the aisles as you would the road. AKA stay to the right (US).
#47
Picking your nose is very satisfying, but don't do it in public
#48
The internet is forever, so be careful what you put on it- especially if your real name/face/details are attached. People will find them and bring them up at the worst possible times. A few seconds of thinking about if it's really a good idea to post that comment or whatever can do a lot of good.
JustAPanda 3 years ago
And never ever put your name as your un-changeable reddit username. Knew a lotta people who would get roasted by it
#49
Don’t drive slower than traffic on the left lane of a highway.
WilvanderHeijden 3 years ago
Or worse, don't go overtaking with less than 1 mile speed difference and proceed to hog the left lane doing 64 mph for the next 30 miles.
#50
When you enter an elevator, you face the door.
What do you think ?
Nikki Sevven 3 years ago
If, after putting an item in your shopping cart, you decide you don't want it, put it back where you got it! Especially if it's a perishable item. Also, if you knock an item on the floor, pick it up and put it back.
Leah Williams 3 years ago
People who have bad knees and can't walk very much without hurting, or people who are in a huge rush, I understand. Except I would ask a store worker if it was perishable like anything frozen, or fresh veggies.
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Uber Mensch 3 years ago
You may not know who it DOES belong to, but you know it isn't _yours_. Leave it alone.
jk nbt 3 years ago (edited)
ONE OF LIFE'S HARDEST LESSONS unspoken rule: there are people out there with a sanguine "natural born salesman" type personality... these people are always acting about one notch too friendly... don't be fooled or seduced by this... these are not your friends, they are just acting sanguine... play along with it and let them pretend to like (love?) you... be nice back & friendly back at them, since if you put them off, they will turn on you and hate you... if they ask for money, favors, or any special considerations, agree to whatever they want, but put them off by postponing any favors for some good excuse or by saying you can't help today, maybe next week... then ask them to do something for you... when they realize you expect genuine commitment and not games in your relationships, they will most likely leave or just leave you alone from then on... (yes, I suffered much at the hands of many to FINALLY learn this life lesson)... If you follow this life lesson unspoken rule, you win either way: a) you gain a genuine committed friend, co-worker, spouse, business partner, etc., or b) the annoying shallow jerk leaves you alone to go and seduce someone else...
Chich 3 years ago
The goddamn thing you had in your goddamned hand a goddamned minute ago will suddenly appear in plain sight as soon as your SO comes over to help you look for it.
KombatBunni 3 years ago
Or, the stupid a— computer will suddenly start working the second your partner takes a look at it, when before it was making a weird beeping noise or wouldn’t even turn on!
Load More Replies... Susie Elle 3 years ago
Men: no, you do not have good aim, so always whipe the seat or that ridge under the seat after peeing, because yes, there ARE droplets EVERYWHERE even though you can't see them.
Leah Williams 3 years ago
I feel bad for people who have PTSD and similar mentally debilitating conditions where they just can't quite think straight. Most people don't understand them socially
Jyndaru 3 years ago
Thank you for recognizing that. I'm sure my anxiety and social awkwardness has put off a few people.
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Grayson Wrigley 3 years ago
If there are completely empty seats (and no assigned seating) on the train/subway/bus, do not sit down next to a stranger.
Jennie Stilton 3 years ago
#7 for sure. I worked in childcare for years, and if Baby took his or her first steps at daycare, we would tell the parent, "He/she is going to walk any time now! So close!" Once I said that and the mom said, "Oh she already took her first steps over the weekend! Isn't she walking here?" I had to fess up. Everyone laughed.
Lovin' Life 3 years ago (edited)
Very eye opening. Many need to read this. Many are just common sense but a couple were new to me like the nod up for someone you know and nod down for someone you don't. Very interesting.
kjorn 3 years ago
don't ask "how are you" if you just want to make small talk. i hate when people ask that and i'm just about to cry and i'm there : "i'm fine"
albernistuff 4sale 3 years ago
A few years ago, I started being honest in my reply to this. Co-workers self-filtered to those who cared and those who don't.
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GoddessOdd 3 years ago
I remember this one from long ago... if someone offers you a breath mint or gum, take it, you probably need it.
Carole MacKenzie 3 years ago
If someone doesn’t remember something you are talking about, don’t say incredulously, “Don’t you remember?!?” Especially if they are over 60.
Sebastian Leppert 2 years ago
Apparently none of the authors ever went to Berlin, where almost none of those rules apply;)
Loretta David 2 years ago
Tacit knowledge. We know the rules, but we were never taught them. We, as civilized people, simply know these things. Savages do.not follow these rules..
Nikki Sevven 3 years ago
If, after putting an item in your shopping cart, you decide you don't want it, put it back where you got it! Especially if it's a perishable item. Also, if you knock an item on the floor, pick it up and put it back.
Leah Williams 3 years ago
People who have bad knees and can't walk very much without hurting, or people who are in a huge rush, I understand. Except I would ask a store worker if it was perishable like anything frozen, or fresh veggies.
Load More Replies... Uber Mensch 3 years ago
You may not know who it DOES belong to, but you know it isn't _yours_. Leave it alone.
jk nbt 3 years ago (edited)
ONE OF LIFE'S HARDEST LESSONS unspoken rule: there are people out there with a sanguine "natural born salesman" type personality... these people are always acting about one notch too friendly... don't be fooled or seduced by this... these are not your friends, they are just acting sanguine... play along with it and let them pretend to like (love?) you... be nice back & friendly back at them, since if you put them off, they will turn on you and hate you... if they ask for money, favors, or any special considerations, agree to whatever they want, but put them off by postponing any favors for some good excuse or by saying you can't help today, maybe next week... then ask them to do something for you... when they realize you expect genuine commitment and not games in your relationships, they will most likely leave or just leave you alone from then on... (yes, I suffered much at the hands of many to FINALLY learn this life lesson)... If you follow this life lesson unspoken rule, you win either way: a) you gain a genuine committed friend, co-worker, spouse, business partner, etc., or b) the annoying shallow jerk leaves you alone to go and seduce someone else...
Chich 3 years ago
The goddamn thing you had in your goddamned hand a goddamned minute ago will suddenly appear in plain sight as soon as your SO comes over to help you look for it.
KombatBunni 3 years ago
Or, the stupid a— computer will suddenly start working the second your partner takes a look at it, when before it was making a weird beeping noise or wouldn’t even turn on!
Load More Replies... Susie Elle 3 years ago
Men: no, you do not have good aim, so always whipe the seat or that ridge under the seat after peeing, because yes, there ARE droplets EVERYWHERE even though you can't see them.
Leah Williams 3 years ago
I feel bad for people who have PTSD and similar mentally debilitating conditions where they just can't quite think straight. Most people don't understand them socially
Jyndaru 3 years ago
Thank you for recognizing that. I'm sure my anxiety and social awkwardness has put off a few people.
Load More Replies... Grayson Wrigley 3 years ago
If there are completely empty seats (and no assigned seating) on the train/subway/bus, do not sit down next to a stranger.
Jennie Stilton 3 years ago
#7 for sure. I worked in childcare for years, and if Baby took his or her first steps at daycare, we would tell the parent, "He/she is going to walk any time now! So close!" Once I said that and the mom said, "Oh she already took her first steps over the weekend! Isn't she walking here?" I had to fess up. Everyone laughed.
Lovin' Life 3 years ago (edited)
Very eye opening. Many need to read this. Many are just common sense but a couple were new to me like the nod up for someone you know and nod down for someone you don't. Very interesting.
kjorn 3 years ago
don't ask "how are you" if you just want to make small talk. i hate when people ask that and i'm just about to cry and i'm there : "i'm fine"
albernistuff 4sale 3 years ago
A few years ago, I started being honest in my reply to this. Co-workers self-filtered to those who cared and those who don't.
Load More Replies... GoddessOdd 3 years ago
I remember this one from long ago... if someone offers you a breath mint or gum, take it, you probably need it.
Carole MacKenzie 3 years ago
If someone doesn’t remember something you are talking about, don’t say incredulously, “Don’t you remember?!?” Especially if they are over 60.
Sebastian Leppert 2 years ago
Apparently none of the authors ever went to Berlin, where almost none of those rules apply;)
Loretta David 2 years ago
Tacit knowledge. We know the rules, but we were never taught them. We, as civilized people, simply know these things. Savages do.not follow these rules..
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