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50 People Who Had Someone Else’s Back Online And Did It In The Most Wholesome Way (New Pics)
Interview
It can be satisfying to see a niche thing you love – a book, a band, an artist – become popular in the mainstream. Yet it can also be upsetting. You root for their success for so long, but once everybody knows about them, it doesn't feel as special. That's gatekeeping, the grown-up cousin of "You can't sit with us."
But there is a community that doesn't gatekeep: the Gates Open, Come In subreddit. It's where people invite each other to like and enjoy stuff others might tell them is inappropriate or uncool, and generally have each other's backs. Like the kids say these days, "In the clurb, we all fam."
Bored Panda got in touch with one of the community's moderators, u/Merari01, and they kindly agreed to tell us more about the subreddit. Read our short chat with them below!
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
If Anybody Has A Problem With That I'm Going To Let It Go
u/Merari01 told us that the theme of the subreddit drew them to become one of the moderators for the community. "The internet can be a negative place, full of angry people and content, which in some form makes people feel excluded," they told us via a message. "This subreddit is positive, inclusive, and shows a welcoming atmosphere."
The Redditor believes that people want their feeds to have more positivity. "Having a space that is explicitly inclusionary resonates with a lot of them," the netizen added. While moderating the subreddit's comment section can sometimes be challenging when members get into petty arguments, u/Merari01 is pretty happy with the job overall. "It's a fun space to be in, so, it's not a real challenge."
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#2
Inclusion
#3
Dogs And Cats My Favorite Animals
We can gatekeep many things: the recipe for our favorite pasta, where we bought our fabulous shoes, our favorite sports teams, and many other things. In 2022, Vogue actually chose "gatekeep" as the word of the year. What, according to them, used to mean institutions or people withholding power now means not sharing information or access to something.
On TikTok, not gatekeeping means sharing where you got that sweater from and how much your tickets to see Taylor Swift cost. But Vogue writes that this is slightly ironic: if anything, the app made information and the world itself more accessible than ever. "Want to find out where a media-only fashion party or sample sale preview is taking place? You can probably hunt down the invite on TikTok."
#4
Finally Someone Who Gets It!
#5
Happy Lunar Year Everyone
Robert Trebor 2 weeks ago
Someone with authority setting an example for self-styled dictators. Bravo.
Licensed psychologist and lecturer on the psychology of metal and punk rock Steve Byrne explains that social psychologists have observed our tendency to divide into groups. We make friends with people who have similar interests and outlooks on life, and we align ourselves against those who are different.
Byrne points to the Robbers Cave experiment, carried out in the 1950s. In it, social psychologist Muzafer Sherif studied 22 boys who, during the experiment, divided themselves into in and out-groups. It reflected the most basic truth that we divide ourselves according to many things: political beliefs, likes and dislikes, and even for the benefit of our own social standing.
#7
Everything Turned Out Just Fine, Then
#8
It's Never Too Late
#9
Struggle Has No Inherent Value
Byrne writes that it's natural for us to see those who are different from us as a threat. Then we want to appear stronger, more sophisticated, and cooler in front of them. And that's where gatekeeping comes in. In essence, we gatekeep because we're insecure. Putting others down is one of the ways we cope with insecurities. "At least we're not as bad as them," we comfort ourselves.
#10
Literally The Gate Was Open
#11
Mentally Empathetic Dad
LB 2 weeks ago
May you find a person to do this for you if your family won't <3
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Smeghead Tribble Down Under 2 weeks ago
I was always told I was a rude and ignorant kid because my shy backside didn't want to be in the spotlight when there were visitors. Took me a long time to realise I have social anxiety and that I'm not just being ridiculous -_-
Tabitha 2 weeks ago (edited)
Please don’t try to force your children into whatever role or behavior you think they should be doing. Let them be themselves, and accept them as they are (as long as being themselves doesn’t mean something like being a serial killer, or pedophile, or dangerous dictator or anything else really bad like that, of course—-that’s when you finally act like a parent and do a bit of course-correcting to steer them back in a more positive direction).
Apatheist Account2 2 weeks ago
Apart from the cigarette. Smoking indoors around children is not good.
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Anotherustyspoon 2 weeks ago
Just going to be honest when guest's came over, (unless they were here for my birthday or another holiday that had lot's of activity) my parent's would let me vacate to my room and take frequent breaks when guest's came over. If it wasn't family they would even let me spend the whole time in my room or send me to my grandmothers place. I freaking love them both bless their hearts.
Mommy Panda 2 weeks ago
I'm not judging, i don't know you, your kids or your family for that matter, but I'm confused. Your family comes to visit and your kids are stuck behind a screen in their room? Isn't that a bit anti social?
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KittyGaming 2 weeks ago
Yes my parents always let me be in my room after we eat with guests, they understand I like it that way
Bean Driller 2 weeks ago
We all need to know how to interact with people we don't know or don't like. This is great as long as dad understands he can't shield his son forever. Might be a tougher lesson later.
LakotaWolf (she/her) 2 weeks ago
He's not "shielding" his child. He is understanding his child's social anxiety/autism/whatever other social/interactive issue the child has and he is working with it and accepting it. If a child has serious social anxiety or any other social-interaction issue, they should never be forced to learn "tough lessons" by being forced to interact with people they don't want to. That will make everyone unhappy and miserable and can do actual damage to the child. We do live in a *society* and the child cannot remain isolated unless the family can arrange it, but no child should be forced into it. They need help and to be eased into it, possibly with therapy/counseling/etc.
Load More Replies... Janet Graham 6 days ago
I wish! We had to come and greet everyone and suffer sloppy cheek kisses from old wrinkly guys and be nice until Mom let us run for our rooms!
Sara Frazer 2 weeks ago (edited)
I wish this could've been my relatives with me at every get-together, but cell phones still did not exist for the earlier part of my life (until I was 18 and paying for it myself; there were kids in middle school who had blackberry razrs and such, but that was like alien technology in 2006-2008) Crazy how fast the world has moved.
Panda Panda Bo Banda 2 weeks ago
I dunno. I hope he's helping his kid get over their social anxiety in other ways.
Jilly 2 weeks ago
Am I the only one on here who completely disagrees with this ? I’m so confused ! Is this part of the reason that kid’s faces are glued to their phones and have a hard time talking to adults? Part of growing up is learning to navigate uncomfortable situations.
LakotaWolf (she/her) 2 weeks ago
The child isn't "glued to his phone". The dad literally explains it in the second to last panel - the child has some kind of severe social anxiety/autism/some other social/interactive issue, and the child does not like to be around guests. If a child has serious social anxiety or any other social-interaction issue, they should never be forced to interact with people they don't want to interact with. That will make everyone unhappy and miserable, and can do actual permanent damage/trauma to the child. We do live in a *society* and the child cannot remain isolated unless the family can arrange it, but no child should be forced into "being social" with guests or extended family members. They need help and to be eased into it, possibly with therapy/counseling/etc.
Load More Replies... #12
Brooklyn Librarians Subverting Censorship & Allowing Any Teenager In America To Have A Library Card
Mochi 2 weeks ago
In my town there's a new library with a room with access to free wifi, coding programs, a 3-d printer, and of course e-books, books, C-ds, and audiobooks. There's also a genealogy center so you can trace your heritage and a teen room with games and crafts. There's also private study rooms, and conference rooms, and there's classes for everything imaginable. And it's all free with a library card!
Perhaps now more than ever, division into insiders and outsiders is hurting us all around the world. Byrne suggests that some political leaders thrive on sowing division with the "us against them" mentality. In reality, there must be very little that's actually different about us.
#13
What An Adorable Man Doing Such A Lovely Thing ❤️😍🥰
quentariel 2 weeks ago
Amigurumi in this size and complexity takes a lot of time. This man is not only thoughtful and kind but also really skilled.
#14
It Got A Little Aggressive, But I Like The Message
MicrowaveGoddess 2 weeks ago
I'm Indian and 100% approve of this message. Culture is something to be shared, no kept exclusive.
#15
For The Waiters
Julia Mckinney 2 weeks ago
The above reason plus I used to work the same type of jobs and know how hard it can be.
"Those who are seemingly kept out by these gatekeepers might be seeing the gate as some hulking castle drawbridge, sealed up tight and ready to defend a kingdom against marauders when it’s really just a broken garden fence, easily stepped over," Byrne writes.
#16
Just Let Them Be They
#17
Stress Relief
Kise Miarse 2 weeks ago
I really thought that as a grown a*s adult I wouldn't encounter this so much anymore. LET PEOPLE LIKE THINGS. It doesn't mean it has to become your obsession - you can still enjoy something just for what it is.
#18
Friendly Incentive
Interestingly, some people see gatekeeping as a good thing. In an article for The Cut, Ann Friedman suggests that some communities gatekeep to preserve their culture. She writes about Anthony Bourdain worrying about sending tourist masses to mom-and-pop restaurants, as well as Black creators feeling conflicted when white creators use their aesthetics, language, and memes and calling it appropriation.
#19
Every Job Is Valid!
Beak Hookage 2 weeks ago
I went to an expensive private school and can tell you for a fact that quite a few of the other kids ultimately went to trade school instead of university. And are now gainfully employed. (Ironically, I got three degrees and am currently... not employed).
#20
Shout Out To The Solo Eaters
HighNMightyBigshotBossOfWorld 2 weeks ago
I don’t understand how people don’t do what they want to do because they don’t have someone to do it with. They lose so much.
#21
Emotional Rollercoaster! (Pls Remove If Posted Before)
Did I say that out loud? (he/him)cis/het 2 weeks ago
*Hoping the neighbours don't notice the suspiciously green patches *
Kelly Elizabeth Wright, a lexicographer with the American Dialect Society, explained that gatekeeping in this context gives minorities back that little bit of power they lose in this age of vast media consumption. "You could be making a piece of content that is for other Black people or for your community, but then it's public or it gets algorithmically exposed. There is less control in the way social media is surfaced and served to people."
#22
Luke Skywalker Makes Young Star Wars Fan Feel Loved
#23
Depression Gateopening
Sergy Yeltsen 2 weeks ago
People at work wouldn't think I have MDD. It's easy to hide while others are around. It's when I'm home by myself that it comes to the fore. This is a perception that needs to change.
#24
That's His Whole Thing
Sirena Bergman writes for Business Insider that the boom in tourism in Hawaii during the pandemic caused native Hawaiians and Pacific Islanders to "gatekeep" the state. The natives talked about the rise of COVID-19 cases and the environmental impacts of tourism and asked people not to travel there, but still faced backlash.
#25
You're Not A Machine. You're Garden
#26
Moms,,,/-
Pandemonium 2 weeks ago
I would have been able to finish the butter if they hadn't ganged up on me
#27
You Don't Have To Be Good At Something To Enjoy Doing It
Kise Miarse 2 weeks ago
I need more upvotes to give. When I was younger, so many things I enjoyed were ruined by other people's negative reactions. We're not all born being perfect at everything. Let others enjoy. Let them learn. Don't be a d*ck.
That's how "gatebreaking" came to TikTok, the opposite of gatekeeping. The idea is that there should be no barriers to information, expertise, places, or knowledge. But Bergman observes that there's more nuance to this problem. While being against gatekeeping is, in essence, standing against inequality, it's alright for some people to sometimes stay on the fringes of certain spaces.
#28
Pls Info Dump On Me I Love It
Kise Miarse 2 weeks ago
I always start off so excited to share my nerd sh*t and then get self-conscious that nobody probably wants to hear it and I don't want to be "that guy" so I taper off. It makes me sad though.
#29
Slow Down
#30
Drink What You Like!!!
However, in most cases, the old cliche "sharing is caring" might just be true. Sharing information, access, knowledge, and just genuinely having each other's backs. If this wholesome list is right up your alley, Pandas, check out the previous ones that we've done about the "Gates Open, Come On In" community here and here!
#31
Words To Live By
Glen Ellyn 2 weeks ago
"Be kinder than necessary. Everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle."
#32
Good Parentin
Glen Ellyn 2 weeks ago
Oops. I first read it as "There is a family next to me at the stove." My thought was, I hope it's your family! 🤭🤦🏻♀️ Now that I've confessed my reading blunder, this kid has a great dad!
#33
Definitely Mercedes! Wait...what?
#35
Sh*tter’s Open!
Libstak 2 weeks ago (edited)
I've never understood the toilet issues. I mean if you have male and female guests in your home they all use the one bathroom and nobody blinks. Nobody checks their friends and family for proper hygiene eitquette in some questionnaire or some c**p before they come either, they are literally unknown in their toilet habits and everybody is just okay. So wtf with the outrage everywhere else?
#36
Found My Weekend Plans
#37
Really Behind You
#38
I'm Sure Many Of Us Needed To Hear This
Donkey boi 2 weeks ago
My lane is supporting all of youse on the internet and wasting the trolls' time, when I get a little spare time. Because I simply don't have the time (and truthfully, often can't be arsed) to be "active".
#39
As Someone Who's Gone For 6 Years, It Really Does Make A Difference
Susie Elle 2 weeks ago
Waiting for my ADHD/depression/whatever it is diagnosis (or no diagnosis, perhaps) :) Due to insane waiting lists I'm only due october next year, but I guess that's something.
#41
Sometimes You Win Sometimes You Learn
#42
Another Good One From Tumblr
#43
All Fans Welcome
#45
Japan/America Cultural Exchange
#46
Something Wholesome From Facebook
#47
Do You, No Matter What!
#48
Women Wearing What They Like In Peace
Donkey boi 2 weeks ago
A unicorn onesie would be pretty awesome. I wonder if they do them in my size?
#49
Gay Body Shaming Is Real
Add New Image
What do you think ?
Not-a-Clue (she/her) 2 weeks ago
THIS is what BP used to be all about. Really positive. More, please.
Kylie Chapman 1 week ago
Is feeling hemochromatoicy the appropropriate term for the not being able to access more meme’s about inclusion because they’re now caught behind a Paywall? Is there another more appropriate term for too much irony? Or do we just now use the term “Panderish?”
Kare Deter 1 week ago
BP WTAF!?!?! Unless I subscribe I have no access to MY OWN FREAKING POSTS or responses to them once you cut the original post from 99 to 50? On top of everything else, you don't DESERVE anyone's money for stealing material, repackaging it and calling it "writing". UTTER BS. Your ADS support your service stop being such twatwaffles.
Forrest Hobbs 1 week ago
Chill, dude. You can see your own posts (albeit not in context) by looking at your user page. Meanwhile - well, you say BP doesn't deserve any money for providing this small service for us? And then go on to say that BP gets "support" (that is, money) from advertising? Do you not see a small inconsistency? Everything costs money. Posting a comment here on BP costs money - paid by BP, mostly from ad revenue. Just - hey, chill a bit?
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Not-a-Clue (she/her) 2 weeks ago
THIS is what BP used to be all about. Really positive. More, please.
Kylie Chapman 1 week ago
Is feeling hemochromatoicy the appropropriate term for the not being able to access more meme’s about inclusion because they’re now caught behind a Paywall? Is there another more appropriate term for too much irony? Or do we just now use the term “Panderish?”
Kare Deter 1 week ago
BP WTAF!?!?! Unless I subscribe I have no access to MY OWN FREAKING POSTS or responses to them once you cut the original post from 99 to 50? On top of everything else, you don't DESERVE anyone's money for stealing material, repackaging it and calling it "writing". UTTER BS. Your ADS support your service stop being such twatwaffles.
Forrest Hobbs 1 week ago
Chill, dude. You can see your own posts (albeit not in context) by looking at your user page. Meanwhile - well, you say BP doesn't deserve any money for providing this small service for us? And then go on to say that BP gets "support" (that is, money) from advertising? Do you not see a small inconsistency? Everything costs money. Posting a comment here on BP costs money - paid by BP, mostly from ad revenue. Just - hey, chill a bit?
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