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The holiday season is in full swing, and we feel like it’s the best time of the year to remember how wholesome, kind, supportive, welcoming, and selfless people can truly be, despite their perceived differences. That’s why we’re featuring the ‘Gates Open, Come On In’ subreddit, an online community of nearly 340k people today.
The online group presents itself as the exact opposite of r/gatekeeping and features folks being true legends who accept others no matter who they are, instead of angry gremlins who don’t want to let anyone new into their communities. Scroll down for some of the best anti-gatekeeping posts and hard proof that people really do have each others’ backs when push comes to shove.
Pssst, Pandas, if you’re looking to restore some more faith in humanity, then you’ll definitely want to check out Bored Panda’s previous article about some more great real-life anti-gatekeeping examples. You can read it right here.
British psychotherapist Silva Neves shared with Bored Panda his take on why some people feel the need to act as gatekeepers at all. "The theory is that it comes from our inner sense of survival. At times when we lived in tribes, it was part of survival to fear people outside of the tribe because they might have been a threat to the tribe," he explained to me. "In our modern world, to some extent, we have kept that sense of survival, although unnecessary now, but still subconsciously strong."
However, Silva notes just how much impact even small gestures of kindness can have. "When we learn to be kind to others, we're actually learning to be kind to ourselves. We need both." Scroll down for to read what he had to say about this.
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#1
Love This
"We don't often realize that a very small gesture of kindness, even just a smile to a stranger, can trigger a chain of kindness and love to their social circle, and the ripple effects can be felt to the greater society," psychotherapist Silva shared with Bored Panda the power that even a small act of kindness can have in the world around us. In fact, we're naturally hard-wired to help others.
RELATED:
#2
Everyone (Saw This Posted Somewhere Else On Reddit So Thought It'd Be Worth The Cross-Post)
#3
Marry Whomever You Wish
"Being kind and helpful is a natural high for us, as it produced feel-good brain chemicals, so it tends to make us happier. Seeing others happy can also produce feel-good chemicals. So it is all round a very good thing for physical and mental health to be kind to ourselves and others," he said.
"If we do that, we tend to live happier lives and, even if we don't always see it, it is important to remind ourselves that any small gesture of kindness contributes to a kinder world. And, right now, the world needs a lot more kindness."
#4
I Just Like Animals
#5
We Can All Get Along!
#6
Everyone Starts Somewhere
‘Action for Happiness’ explained to me earlier that altruism and kindness are closely linked to our own happiness.
"Think about how you can reach out and do things for others, help a neighbor or volunteer for a cause, we get happiness high from helping other people. Or start small and simply list three things that you can be grateful for each night before bed,” Sarah Vero from ‘Action for Happiness’ shared with Bored Panda.
According to Sarah, the 10 keys to happier living are: “Giving, relating, exercising, awareness, trying out, direction, resilience, emotions, acceptance, and meaning. We are likely to be happier if our lives have direction, meaning, and purpose and if we are part of something bigger than ourselves.”
#7
Depression Gateopening
A B C 3 years ago
And then come the people stating "you can't be depressed, you don't LOOK depressed, you're faking it"... 🙄
Charles Bosse 3 years ago
The irony is that I am faking, just not the depression.
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My O My 3 years ago
Yes! A few years ago the call came that there was a bed for me in the psychiatry tomorrow. And I answered that I couldn't come on such a short notice because I still have some work to finish. Well, I spoke to my colleages and they said I can go without bad concious. Next day in the clinic I was running through all the tests and the doctors couldn't believe I was still "working". There don't seem to be many of us. But I'm so glad to hear that I'm not the only functional depressed out there. I'm not weird!
C Lawson 3 years ago
Even if a person has depression they still have to eat, have a home, and take care of the highest priority responsibilities while doing the bare minimum to hold it together. People that aren't functional depressives are the ones that usually end up homeless or jobless. I cant believe a doctor wouldn't look at it that way.
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Izzy_ 3 years ago
Ugh yes, every freakin day :( people don't believe me when I say I have depression as I'm always "so happy"
Gabi Berlin 3 years ago (edited)
I spend a few minutes in my car putting on my “game face” so they won’t suspect. (Gotta keep that job)
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Tonk Terrier 3 years ago
Walking around like a shell.dont Belong here, don't belong there. Stranger in a strange land etc
AnnaBanana 3 years ago
Sometimes there's comfort in routine. And safety. But then it becomes too routine and you have to do something to shock yourself out of it before you slide into a full on depressive episode. Well, that's the way it is with me. I have bipolar and clinical depression and I have to be careful not to get so routine that I become too insular.
Hutt'nKloas 3 years ago
@ AnnaBanana : As with the topic, I also can relate to this one. Though I'm not bipolar I suffer from depression for a couple of years now. Theraphy didnt really help as got no clue where the depression originates from. Meds help taking the edges off but am reluctant seeing this as the solution. Work does give routine & distraction so helps a bit but when coming home the sad feeling often comes back with a vengeance. The flip side of the depression and staying home, when off from work, is also becoming too insular
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Nancy Baldauf 3 years ago
In 1975 a roommate took me aside and said she wanted to introduce me to a Dr. who specialized in depression. My life changed that day. After 47 years I am still on antidepressants, still have some bad days, have to adjust meds sometimes. But I have had a real life, thanks to her.
Denny Cwiek 3 years ago
For some people, the right medication can be life changing!
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Rob Digges 3 years ago
Depression has serious ninja stealth skills. You think everything is fine and suddenly you realize you've been in the same sweatpants for 3 days and have nothing to show for your time except empty snack food packages.
Dasha Slepenkina 3 years ago
The way we handle depression is heartbreaking. If someone tries to "keep it together" and manages to present an image of themselves as capable of coping, we say - "Well, they don't seem to be depressed!" And if someone begins acting out on their pain, we say they're just doing it for attention. When in reality depression is one of the most widespread illnesses in the world and is a leading cause of disease and even death for many demographics. Depression has physical side effects - brain fog, migraines, acid reflux, muscle pain - just to name a few. But we still treat it like something that's "just in your head." The conversation needs to shift so that people can get the help they deserve.
Janina Prado 3 years ago
This was me all of last month. Actually from mid October to just this past weekend. Depression is anger without the enthusiasm.
Must Be Bored Again 3 years ago
The REAL thing I wish patients and the people around them could realize is that depression, anxiety and most other mental health issues are not a choice as if somebody says cheer up, smile more.......... The true cause of almost all mental health issues is a chemical imbalance in your body chemistry. It can be thrown off by trauma, heredity or many, many reasons. That is why most doctors try medication first. Sometimes they have to try multiple different ones to get some balance in your life. As the search for chemical balance is going on, you should be seeing a therapist to help you deal with causes and solutions. I tell people to think about a health issue such as diabetes. You can do all the right things but sfumato need medication to save your life. We would tell someone with diabetes to just be strong, that will get blood surfaces under control. So if we can look at mental health as an illness that needs the correct diagnosis and medication, hopefully that would change outlook
Donny Cromwell 3 years ago
Depression isn't always dark rooms and crying endlessly. Sometimes its getting up, going to work to sit quietly doing little to nothing until its time to go home and then smiling and laughing rest of the day until it's time to go to bed dreading the next day.
Evelyn Haskins 3 years ago
THAT is not depression my dear, It sounds like overtiredness. Depression is often called 'anhedionia',.
Simzabandz 3 years ago
my wife and I are currently going through this. I dont know if I can call it depression, but who actually knows when they're depressed till it is PTSD and they're medically boarded.. ey guys what can we do, life is like this, there's so much security that needs to be done that you eventually dont even have time to self.. and to heal but there's a God and he has a will for us all
LesAnimaux 3 years ago
I rarely cry. I'm just numb. I live alone so nobody knew until I said something. I'm very lucky that I have supportive friends/chosen family, since my "real" family is impossible to deal with.
Miss Frankfurter 3 years ago
I have a friend who always says "Well you look good." Looks can be oh so deceiving.
AngelWingsYT 3 years ago
Depression is: crying for little to no reason/becoming angry outta the blue/being happy laughing smiling/loving others/hating yourself/feeling no emotions. Depression is hard to detect and most with it hide it well. Never discount ppls feelings in anyway. Let them go through the emotions(s) n be a shoulder for them
•Blanqui _Playz• 3 years ago
Damn, am I depressed?? Because that's me, except I go to school, and I have barely started showing my emotions to only my best friend and mom
Sabrina Fisher 3 years ago
Ever since I was younger people would say "how could you be depressed you're so young?" "at least you have a roof over your head and food in your stomach so theres no reason to be depressed". "you're not depressed, you're just sad". But this is an accurate description of depression
Denny Cwiek 3 years ago
No one mentioned performing acts of kindness for others. Anonymous or not, it's a great distraction and does your heart good.
Gwenn Kuhns 3 years ago
You would have never known that Robin Williams had depression. Love all his TV shows/movies. He was a genius. RIP
Brandy Grote 3 years ago
Like Bipolar isn't always weeks of depressed followed by spending every cent, partying away constantly, then another month of sad. It can be constantly sad, with a 5 minute session of screaming in rage at a wall every 6 months or so, then back to a soft sad state.
Jo Chrisco 3 years ago
Being depressed is a constant fight. You learn to forget yourself because memories are too painful. You learn to fit in.
deanna woods 3 years ago
I feel this so much. People always about how I'm always smiling and stuff like that. If they only knew what was going through my mind sometimes.
Auntriarch 3 years ago
The first time I fell, my boss told my colleagues (it's okay I had authorized her to) " you'll never guess who"
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#8
Read It All
#9
Keep Doing What You Like, Support Others Who Do The Sam
Vanessa King, the Head of Psychology at ‘Action for Happiness,’ noted that we’re a social species and that helping others out is part of who we are. Being kind, lending a helping hand are the “social glue that keeps us together.”
“When we do things for others it activates the reward center in the brain, so when we give a gift it feels the same as receiving a gift," Vanessa stressed.
“Small daily actions one at a time can help us to make altruism a lifetime habit. You could start out small by deciding you are going to smile at everyone you meet or pay three people a compliment today,” she said.
#10
You're Not A Product
Demi Zwaan 3 years ago
I have to say the internet ruined quite a few hobbies for me. Going out to find tips and tricks and finding communities full of people who are soooooo much better at it then I’ll ever be, discourages me too much. In “ye old days” I just did whatever I liked and never knew how bad I was at it. So now I just avoid those kind of hobbies online. I’m happier not knowing if I’m good or not :)
#11
I Love This Man More Than Certain Family Members
Ray Martin 3 years ago
Damn, son, just wear a crop top and some underpants. Get those wet and you'll get some real attention.
#12
This Is Beautiful
Human beings don’t hold a monopoly on empathy. Plenty of other animals have feelings and have demonstrated that they feel bad for other beings if they’re in trouble. For instance, a while back I wrote about an experiment on rat friendship.
As it turns out, rats help each other out if they sense that they’re distressed. However, they prefer to help rats who are most like them. Scientist Inbal Ben-Ami Bartal told Bored Panda that “rats will help others of their ingroup (cagemates and strangers of the same strain) but not the outgroup (strangers of a black-furred strain they are not familiar with).” In other words, rats are selective in who they help. However, this behavior changes the more familiar rats become with members of their outgroup.
#13
Working People Are My People!
Pungent Sauce 3 years ago
Always keep in mind that your employer is paying you the least amount they feel they can to keep you around(Sure, there are exceptions, but 98% are).
#14
Art Is For Everyone
#15
Humiliation Fetish
“The encouraging thing is that we then found that cohabitation, living with a rat from the other strain for two weeks totally changes this behavior, and now rats will help that cagemate from the other strain. Even more impressively, after living together for two weeks with one rat of the other strain, they will help strangers from the other strain as well,” Bartal said.
The scientist added that social experience is actually what determines whether or not rats help each other, not their genetic similarity. Bartal said that in one case, rats were fostered at birth with those from another strain. “Like Mowgli, they were raised with the other strain and never encountered their own kind. When they grew up, they only helped rats of the adoptive strain, not the biological strain.”
#16
For All Relationships
#17
With Open Arms
#18
You Are All Right
In Bartal’s view, a lot of the discussion on animal empathy gets stuck on semantic issues. “For instance, the definition of empathy, how can we say that animals really feel empathy the same way we do. But empathy is a construct. We don’t even know what it is in humans really!” she said.
“I operate on the assumption that there is an evolutionary continuum between species, and that the basic building blocks of our responses are shared. Being sensitive to distress in others and motivated to care about their suffering is as old as the moment mother and child became connected for survival after birth.”
#19
I Liked This One
Demi Zwaan 3 years ago
Exactly! I almost always play easy mode, because I suck at them, but still enjoy them. Gaming is supposed to be fun, relaxing and a way to escape reality, not a second job! Unless it is your job, of course :D
#20
Can’t Decide Whether This Belongs Here Or In Humansbeingbros
#21
Have A Seat, Enjoy The View, Everyone Is Welcome
#22
Pros And Cons Of GF...
#23
Anyone Can Play Games
#24
Liberal Arts
#25
Gaming Is For Everyone
Katie Lutesinger 3 years ago
My dad never had any sons. He introduced his two daughters to video games and motorcycle racing. I became a lifelong gaming enthusiast, and my little sister bought a motorbike. :D
#26
Respect To You For Doing Anything
#27
Drink What You Like!!!
#28
Spread The Positivity
#29
A Novel‘S Worth Of Nerd S**t
#30
Let People Be Happy
#31
Wholesome Hotel
#32
Let's Just Love Everyone
Andy Acceber 3 years ago
If anyone wants to continue the heartwarming goodwill, Jewish Voice for Peace is a great organization that supports Palestinian self-determination, supports peace and justice in the Middle East, and stands against anti-Jewish, anti-Muslim, and anti-Arab bigotry.
#33
Like What You Like
#34
Everyone Is Welcome On This Server
#35
Does This Doormat Count?
#36
Vegan BBQ
#37
You're Never Too Old For Success
#38
This Subreddit In A Nutshell. This Applies To So Many Communities
#39
When The Old Becomes New Again
#40
Love Is Always Valid. Assume The Best First!
Celeste Grant 3 years ago
this! i am truly loved for the first time in my life, and im in my early 40s. its amazing and i want to share that. If you've always had that it might seem a bit lame to post about it, but take a second to consider experiencing it for the first time
#41
Love What You Are
#42
No Beer Is Girly Beer
#43
I Love My Grandma So Much. She Got Her Point Across Without Being Mean To The Family Friend
#44
Can't Argue With Mom!
#45
Like What You Like
Bobert Robertson 3 years ago
You can find men or women attractive and it not be sexual at all...
#46
There's Some Logic There
#47
As A Metal Head, Everyone Is Welcome!
#48
Vent’s Open Come On In
#49
Fire
Add New Image
What do you think ?
ToGo 3 years ago
Lovely post! I agree with them all, and forgive me I know I'll get down voted, but I just don't feel comfortable with gender neutral toilets. For no other reason than the fact there are some real dangerous creeps in this world. It just scares me I guess.
Yvonne Dauwalder Balsiger 3 years ago (edited)
Over 20 years ago I studied in Copenhagen and the school had gender neutral toilets. They still have them and it was absolutely no problem when I was there. What I always wonder, why do apparently a lot of people honestly think a "women only"-sign will somehow keep male rapists out of women's bathrooms? An insane amount of women and girls have already been molested or worse in "their" (public) bathroom by despicable bastards. Men and boys have been molested in their bathrooms by despicable bastards. Most people are decent folks, so don't fear average dudes in your bathroom. It also smells a wee bit of transphobia, too, especially when trans people don't "pass".
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Sue Lynn Chan 3 years ago
I know this maybe the same post as before but I still want to do it. To all the people reading this: You are beautiful, you are unique, you have so much talents. You are a special protagonist in your story. This may be the end of 2021. If there's any good things happen in your life, keep moving forward because it's not the end of the story, this is a new chapter of your life. If bad things had happened to you, don't stop, keep marching, because you are in your character development story. We may have never meet face to face before, but we are friends that shaking hands and said how do you do, no matter where we are from, what color we have, if we are are part of queer or not or what religions we follow. May your day fill with rainbows
Eb 3 years ago
Genuine Q: is there a label for people who don't like labels? No problem with other people doing it if it works for them but I've always struggled to think of myself as anything except just a person and I don't like feeling I have to pick a box and stay in it.
Huddo's sister 3 years ago
I agree entirely! I remember being in school (a little before gender fluid etc was as present in the media) and going 'I like this, but don't really fit into this group' etc. I don't think you need to label yourself or others, it doesn't effect how I interact with people and why should it? I don't even find job titles something I need to know about people in my personal life.
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Kipindichapili 3 years ago
You know I find it funny that boredpanda takes a lot of its content from Reddit but practically everyone on Reddit hates boredpanda because if all the liberals lol
ToGo 3 years ago
Lovely post! I agree with them all, and forgive me I know I'll get down voted, but I just don't feel comfortable with gender neutral toilets. For no other reason than the fact there are some real dangerous creeps in this world. It just scares me I guess.
Yvonne Dauwalder Balsiger 3 years ago (edited)
Over 20 years ago I studied in Copenhagen and the school had gender neutral toilets. They still have them and it was absolutely no problem when I was there. What I always wonder, why do apparently a lot of people honestly think a "women only"-sign will somehow keep male rapists out of women's bathrooms? An insane amount of women and girls have already been molested or worse in "their" (public) bathroom by despicable bastards. Men and boys have been molested in their bathrooms by despicable bastards. Most people are decent folks, so don't fear average dudes in your bathroom. It also smells a wee bit of transphobia, too, especially when trans people don't "pass".
Load More Replies... Sue Lynn Chan 3 years ago
I know this maybe the same post as before but I still want to do it. To all the people reading this: You are beautiful, you are unique, you have so much talents. You are a special protagonist in your story. This may be the end of 2021. If there's any good things happen in your life, keep moving forward because it's not the end of the story, this is a new chapter of your life. If bad things had happened to you, don't stop, keep marching, because you are in your character development story. We may have never meet face to face before, but we are friends that shaking hands and said how do you do, no matter where we are from, what color we have, if we are are part of queer or not or what religions we follow. May your day fill with rainbows
Eb 3 years ago
Genuine Q: is there a label for people who don't like labels? No problem with other people doing it if it works for them but I've always struggled to think of myself as anything except just a person and I don't like feeling I have to pick a box and stay in it.
Huddo's sister 3 years ago
I agree entirely! I remember being in school (a little before gender fluid etc was as present in the media) and going 'I like this, but don't really fit into this group' etc. I don't think you need to label yourself or others, it doesn't effect how I interact with people and why should it? I don't even find job titles something I need to know about people in my personal life.
Load More Replies... Kipindichapili 3 years ago
You know I find it funny that boredpanda takes a lot of its content from Reddit but practically everyone on Reddit hates boredpanda because if all the liberals lol
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