Male here and I think a lot or people are focusing on her makeup vs. his streaming expenses way, way too much. 1st) Depending on her job, if it requires a lot of social interaction or she deals with the public, she may need makeup. Looking haggard and drawn out isn't a face you want to put out there. And, like it or not, some people really need to wear makeup. 2nd) Over a year's time, her makeup costs are way, way less than his streaming. Streaming is costing them about $1K yearly and can be way more if they are paying month to month. If she buys make up every 3 months, it's about $200 yearly... $150 if a few months is every 4. As for saving them child care expenses, if he were working they could easily afford it and have extra money for his streaming... but he wouldn't be able to watch them all day. All things considered, he sounds like an entitled jerk.

If he's really being a SAHP to a toddler and a baby, how does he have time to watch all that streaming TV?

I agree with the ESH, but obviously the husband sucks way more. Makeup isn't a personality trait, it's a luxury just like streaming services. They need to sit down as a couple, look at how much they spend on food, utilities, bills, luxuries, etc in a period of 3/6 months & rebudget. Both of them. He was WAY out of line for putting streaming services above his kids getting fed & his wife's comfort. That was awful to his whole family. But if she wanted him to cut back to one streaming service (around $10 a month) while regularly spending $50 every couple months that wouldn't be fair to the whole family either. He was a way bigger AH but she needs to reassess her priorities too. She needs new shoes & her kids have expensive requirements. What's more important to her: Being able to walk comfortably when her last pair gives up? Being able to provide for her children? Or having a fully stocked makeup kit? She doesn't have to give it up entirely, just spend less; just like her husband using one streaming channel instead of several. If the family needs to budget, they BOTH have to make sacrifices.

Makeup may be a luxury, but it can help with the job like a good suit does. Presentation for a job is a bit more important than a Netflix subscription. Just sayin'.

Definitely NTA. Work through watching everything on a streaming service one at a time. He sounds like an entitled thot man-child that is gaslightijg you to push the blame on you. OP is the bread winner AND she cooks, cleans, and does the "washing" (laundry?), which makes me wonder what exactly he contributes. This relationship sounds painfully one-sided. I'm completely miffed that anyone would even suggest ESH because she is wanting to trim back on 5 streaming services to avoid financial ruin.

If he is watching a toddler and a 9 month old, and he is apparently too busy to do any housework, how does he have time for all those streaming services? [sarc off] If he didn't spend so much time on the streaming he would have more time to do most of the house work, which would be a much more equitable sharing. For fairness, only one or maybe two steaming services if he also pitched the house work. He is watching the kids, right?

Op is NTA. Sure, she could spend a bit less on makeup, but of she's working in an office, she does have a certain standard of hygiene and appearance to maintain for professional reasons. If the husband was doing chores and actually CARING for the kids, then a couple streaming services would be acceptable. But he's spending monthly more than what she spends on makeup every FEW months. And he does very little at home as well! He's an abusive leech.

nta. she's the breadwinner AND does chores. also her make up doesn't even cost nearly as much as his streaming. he should find a part time job at least. and/or cancel some of the streaming stuff

Makeup is an essential item for a professional woman. It is part of presenting oneself as well groomed.

What a d**k

Next on BP: "Husband Suggests Wife Starts Working As A Prostitute Instead Of Selling His Four Muscle Cars To Pay For The Cost Of Living, Family Drama Ensues." And "Husband Suggests Wife Stops Having Children To Save Money, Family Drama Ensues"

If he's so convinced that it's wrong not to breastfeed just for health reasons, let him do it.

It’s called budgeting and essential. NTA. Especially if you oversee the finances and need to make adjustments! Breastfeeding is expensive - you have to load calories, buy ointments, a pump for at work, and more. Put numbers in front of him and give a reality check.

These horrible people have a kid. They both are assholes and their kid will be lucky to not be an asshole. She’s a breadwinner with terrible budgeting skills, minimalizing the work of a stay at home parent. He’s a terrible homemaker, mansplaining breast feeding to a working mom and he has a TV addiction. They’re both whining about not being able to afford shoes and streaming and makeup, but they have two small kids they clearly can’t afford and didn’t need, since they aren’t doing a good job on that either. Yuck.

He is definitely an ass. Though they are likely living in excess in many other aspects if they are subscribing to that many streaming services when they aren't a necessity. They need to sit down and really look at their finances.

If he's a stay at home dad he needs to do the majority of the chores. It's hard being the stay at home parent. It's exhausting and to be honest I felt relieved at work but also guilty bc I wasn't home 24/7. If I was still a sahm I would want my tv too but I'd be able to compromise. I had sympathy for him until she said she did the majority of the chores, the fakeup bull, and of course the breast feeding thing. He's an AH and he's acting entitled to her body and her things.

ESH. Sounds like there is a lot more to this argument than streaming vs makeup. He is a SAHP, she works. That doesn't entitle her to say 'this is MY money'. It is 'OUR' money. When I was a SAHP, my husband's wages went toward supporting the family. I did the housework and child-caring through the day, but when he got home, WE did the housework and child-caring TOGETHER, because housework and child-caring is a 24hr job. We BOTH worked through the day, our jobs were just different, and I didn't get paid. Because she works, doesn't entitle her to do nothing when she gets home. I feel the husband stepped out of line suggesting cancelling formula, but likely was said on the heat of an argument, probably not something he'd have said in a calm discussion. Reverse the roles, and the breadwinning husband would be labelled controlling/ungrateful. We have no idea - maybe he is actually a fantastic father and enriches his kids lives. Just because he is unemployed doesn't

Sounds like they've got to work as a team. I'm not a parent yet and I'm still struggling to be efficient with my finances honestly. But, once you're sharing money and a home with someone, you've got to work together across every domain or things will fall apart. Life is stressful, both of you need to stop being petty and get on the collaboration train.

Cancel all the subscriptions except YOUR favorite, then use the money you saved to file for a divorce. I had a husband like this once..... HAD. To this day he leaches off every girl that he can swoon until they figure out what a deadbeat he is. He's gross.

Well, im thinking about money saving options, can you pump milk? Thats the way I went, and your job has to give you time to pump for your child. Store it in a fridge at work and bring home? formula is a real budget killer. I do think taking his netflix away is too extreme we all need something to relax and use for kids to keep them occupied for bits of time. What really needs to happen is your husband needs to find a way to bring income into the house regardless of his pride. It is incredibly selfish of him to not work at all when he is perfectly capable to do so. In other words, he needs to bloody man up

NTA. Divorce him. Earn back the money slowly.

& here's me dealing with a mother in law who thinks I should get my son on formula over me breastfeeding him ...

"makeup is my personality"? That just seems weird. That said, subscription services are stupid, and I think this husband is a hot pile of garbage.