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You don't need to shower people with expensive gifts to show that you care about them. If it's genuine, even a small act of kindness can go a long way. Like texting a friend just to see how they are doing. Or holding the elevator doors open for your neighbor. It can be that simple.
To learn more ways to make people smile, Redditor u/Self_World_Future asked others: "What is an underrated thoughtful gesture?" And they got plenty of answers. As of today, their post has 1,200 comments. Here are the most upvoted ones.
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#1
Asking someone to finish their story if they get cut off in a group. Nothing feels worse than feeling like nobody cares what you have to say, and nothing feels better than someone sticking up for you.
Foodie panda 3 years ago
i am usually the person who's cut off in a group and it feels so nice when someone asks to hear you out. It's truly the little gestures that mean the most 🤗
RELATED:
#2
If you are driving someone home. At night, wait for them to get to the door, unlock and enter before you leave.
Andy Acceber 3 years ago
Do this anytime -- not just at night. It's respectful to make sure the person didn't forget their phone or keys in your car. Make sure they get in okay before driving off.
"What I've learned from re-reading [the comments under my post] is how small these meaningful gestures people listed actually were," u/Self_World_Future told Bored Panda. "Some of the top replies were things like saying 'thank you' or simply asking a friend how they're doing."
The Redditor thinks that being kind may have become less of a priority for us. "However, I believe if people were reminded of the power simple gestures have, they would make more of an effort," they added.
"Since about a year of things like online schooling and working from home, I hope people don't forget to rekindle relationships that may have suffered from the restrictions of the pandemic."
#4
If you’re in a group walking and someone’s falling behind (carrying something, have to tie their shoe, just a slower walker/has shorter legs etc.), at least one person waiting for them to catch up. Doesn’t have to be everyone, but just one person, maybe two, waiting for them to finish what they’re doing or to catch up a bit. Both my best friend and my S/O have done this for me at varying points in our relationships, and every time they do it it makes me want to cry bc it shows they care and don’t want me to feel left out even though I’ve got these short little fuckin corgi legs and they’re all walking at the speed of sound.
Details matter. Especially for couples. According to Professor Aaron Ben-Zeév, who is considered one of the world's leading experts in the study of emotions, we should invest in the small routines, not the grand gestures. "We've heard it before but it's true: it's the little things that matter," Ben-Zeév wrote in Psychology Today.
"In any genuine long-term loving relationship, we (correctly) give greater romantic weight to the small gestures that show us evidence of love beyond the brief time spent in sex. There are those who specialize in one-off grand romantic gestures: giving diamonds, whisking their lover abroad, or taking them for lavish dinners at fancy restaurants. However, those actions mainly express a momentary mood and not enduring, profound love."
#5
Pedestrians who give a little nod or a wave to front cars that stopped for them.
#6
Really listening when people speak and not just waiting for your turn to talk.
#7
Remembering little things. The other day I was talking to a friend and told him I just found out my sister is pregnant and he said “oh, the one who’s married to Brad?”. It was just nice that he makes a point to remember details that don’t necessarily mean anything to him.
You see, it is much easier to fake one-off actions than it is to imitate continuous behavior, expressed every day through small gestures. "We don't experience enduring love in one night of great sex, but rather in consistent loving behavior. Love is not one big gesture; it is rather a combination of million little things expressed in pleasant and kind daily actions," Ben-Zeév explained.
But the professor highlighted that "the importance of continuous small deeds in romantic relationships does not eliminate the importance of one-off big and small romantic gestures, such as going abroad together, the wedding of a firstborn child, or a shared meal in a romantic setting."
The professor said that at the end of the day, profound love, like a happy life, combines the enduring continuum of the little things with the bigger, more meaningful things — the latter spices up romantic relationships and life, but it is not the main course.
#8
Visiting someone with alzheimers. You will leave with a broken heart and in 20 minutes they won't remember that you were there. But during your visit they will hopefully feel loved or at least know someone cares.
Foxxy (The Original) 3 years ago
I did work experience at an aged care facility where I visited patients and helped organise activities for them. There was one patient I visited who had dementia. She started bawling her eyes out that none of her family came to visit her. After I helped console her, I left the room and started bawling myself coz I felt so sorry for her. The director saw me and asked what was wrong and I explained. Well it turned out her family visited her that morning and visits a few times a week. She just couldn't remember. It's all so heartbreaking.
#9
Every time there's a new person at work, I recall what it was like being the new guy and go out my way to make them feel comfortable and let them know that I'll answer any questions judgement free.
Michelle M 3 years ago
Same as school. When I was in secondary school, I used to feel bad for the new kids sitting alone but was not courageous enough to go over and say something. I'm better now.
#10
Letting someone with minimal items cut in front of you at the grocery checkout.
#11
When a car stops to let me cross the street, thereby forcing the other oncoming car to also recognize that I need to cross.
There is a busy road I have to cross daily and I'm so grateful every single time that the cars stop for me to cross. It's just a simple gesture of feeling recognized.
Matthew Horne 3 years ago
I always find this odd. In the UK the pedestrian has right of way. It's the law for a vehicle to stop.
#12
Telling someone they got a booger just hanging for its dear life or their fly is open. Embarrassing but better than walking around with it like it's in vogue.
Foxxy (The Original) 3 years ago (edited)
I have a question to all the ladies. If you leaked period blood onto your pants/skirt etc. Would you want someone to say something, even if it's a stranger? EDIT: So here's a scenario. My mum and I were at some busy markets. I had just left the toilets and when we were walking a lady in front had blood on the back of her skirt. My mum told me not to say anything coz she left the toilet just before I did and probably noticed it then and would probably be embarrassed if I said something. I dunno, it's a tricky one.
#13
Idk if this really counts but when you accidentally make eye contact with a stranger and both of y'all smile at each other.
#14
When someone you're hanging out with throws away your trash or takes your dishes when you're done eating. Not that I expect that all the time, but I find it sweet when it happens. Like if you're sitting down at a fast food restaurant and your friend grabs your trash and throws it away with theirs.
#16
Texting a friend just to see how they are doing. It’s always nice to have someone reach out vs feeling like you are the person reaching out all the time.
Foxxy (The Original) 3 years ago
Yes, friendship is a two way street. I have given up "friends" coz it was only me that reached out. You certainly find out who are worthy of your time and friendship.
#17
Getting my oil changed yesterday and sitting in the waiting room and girl 30 years younger than me is getting a soda from the machine next to me... She looks over and asks me if I'd like a soda as well... I was a little surprised but politely said no and thank you... I thought it was an exceptionally kind gesture...
#19
Letting people off the subway before you rush in.
Foxxy (The Original) 3 years ago
That should be common sense really and not just trains but also buses, trams etc.
#20
Giving a compliment (even something simple) to the food someone cooked for you. Odds are cooking is an extension of the person's personality and it'll mean a lot!
Andy Acceber 3 years ago
This! Don't fall into a pattern of feeling entitled when someone cooks for you. It's a chore and it takes work. Find at least one thing to compliment at every meal.
#21
Take candid pictures of a mother with her children.
Or frankly ANYONE with their children..or grandchildren..or friends.. doing something other than posing in front of a fireplace at Christmas. You really have no idea how much I treasure the rare glimpses of me interacting with my kids when smiles aren't forced. Take them, send them, they want them. You don't have to ask..just.. do it. (So long as you, ya know.. know them and what not).
#22
When someone holds the elevator doors open when you're just a few seconds away.
#23
I'm really glad you asked because earlier one of my friends who I hadn't talked to in a while expressed that they felt really comfortable with me, and came out as possibly trans (they are still figuring out exactly what their identity is, and had only told one person besides me) and told me how much they valued me as a friend. I actually came very close to crying because I was so moved by it. Tell your friends what they mean to you, it is incredibly powerful.
Foxxy (The Original) 3 years ago (edited)
My friends and I are always telling each other how much we mean to one another. And we also say "love you" at the end of phone calls/messages.
#24
Just a thank you wave or flash from a driver who you let go in front of you or before you. Just a small thing that makes me feel good.
#25
Asking if a person got home okay.
Carrying groceries, bags or heavy items for an older person or family member.
#26
I try to have water bottles or soda every time I have workmen over to my house or furniture/appliance delivery guys. They work hard and I'm usually pretty late into their delivery day so I figure a little treat is appreciated (on top of a tip . . . I'm not a monster)
#27
I don't know if this counts, but if I ever see a car parked at an expired meter, and if I have a spare coin, I throw it in.
cybermerlin2000 3 years ago
It counts because that person could be running late and not having a good day only to find the meter that was definitely supposed to run out, hasn't. It breaks the bad luck streak and makes their day so much better
#28
Holding the door open for someone.
WilvanderHeijden 3 years ago
Tricky in these times. Can't recall the times I held the door for someone and got an ear full about how they were perfectly capable of opening the door themselves. At least that was the message without all the swearwords and cursing.
Nikki Sevven 3 years ago
What kind of world are we living in when common courtesy is viewed as insulting?! I can't even imagine cursing at someone who was being polite to me.
Load More Replies...
Sam Chilton 3 years ago (edited)
Depends on the context. I've been stuck opening a door for a queue of people, or holding the door for someone too far away and making them run..
Jackie Nettleton 2 years ago
I used to do this for people as it’s a polite thing to do, now due to disability I am often the person who gets the door held open and it’s so helpful I’m always very grateful to the people that do it
Julie Keil 2 years ago
I work at a university and go in and out of my building several times a day. We always open the door for each other and almost also give or get a thanks. I've never had anyone yell at me although I'm female and old so maybe that influences it.
Ashe 3 years ago
I do this so much that it became a bit of an insane habit. On my first date w/ my boyfriend and family (were like 12 so-) I got the door every time but once, and then after we brought him to his house and all, my grandma told me he had been trying to hold the door, and I'm like S*** I MESSED IT UP and started crying. My anxiety had been acting up all day anyways (not that it needed to bcuz he made it very clear that i wasnt doing anything wrong) but finding that out what like "Ahhhhhhhh"
F S 3 years ago
Usually, holding a door open for someone might be seen as a polite gesture torwards another person. I do it for the exact same reason. BUT, it can be a sign of dominance by holding a door open and, especially, by allowing someone to pass through before you. You have to be able to read the subtle signs in order to distinguish between a polite or dominant gesture. Some people aren’t able to recognize your polite intents and they are likely the ones who start to berate you. My husband for example hates it, when another man holds the door open for him. He will tell him to go first. This almost certainly leads to awkward situations.
HooowlAtTheMoon 3 years ago
i also love to be super theatrical and bow while saying "after you sir/ma'am/friend" when i hold the door for someone.
turtledove 3 years ago
the problem is, ii tend to do this but when there are a lot of people, or if the person is just a little too far then it makes it hard to let go of the door without seeming rude
Valisbourne Spiritforge 3 years ago
I've been chewed a few times for holding the door. Usually I just explain that I do this for most people and it's not some sort of condescension on my part. Afterwords I either ignore it or, if they were exceptionally rude, close the door in their face. Regardless, it's how I was raised and I'm too old to stop something I consider to be basic courtesy now.
#29
Someone deliberately taking their time to get on a bus you're running for.
~hUmMuS vIbEs~ 3 years ago
Or noticing you and telling the driver so they can wait a couple of seconds. I'm so grateful when people do this, as I'm always late.
#30
Saying “Wait, I don’t get what you mean. Can you repeat that?”
It does NOT signify to the other person that you weren’t listening. In fact, it actually signifies that you care enough about understanding that you’ll listen twice.
#31
Non expensive flowers for occasions. I'm talking 10$ daisy arrangement for your coworkers last day, or just because to a friend, I always bring wine and flowers as a host/hostess gift. There are so many cool flowers (not just roses!!)
And it can be for a male or female. The kings in your life deserve flowers as much as grandma. Tell him those sunflowers reminded you of his smile, tell bertha from accounting you appreciate the prompt Thursday afternoon checks. Tell Gamgam she's your favorite and leave a little sunshine in your wake.
Samantha Lomb 3 years ago
Just fyi, if they have pets, particularly animals like cats, make sure the flowers aren't toxic. Lilies are deadly.
#32
Remembering someone's name goes a long way.
#33
When someone lets you into a lane. Thanks for not being a jerk!!
Jo Johannsen 3 years ago
For me, this is situational. If somebody races down the median ahead of dozens of patient drivers then tries to force their way in at the last moment before they run out of room, I am less inclined to be kind. Yes, that's a petty reaction, but that's how it is.
#34
Engaged listening without interrupting.
WilvanderHeijden 3 years ago
That's one of the things that got lost. Everyone is talking and nobody is listening.
#36
Taking your bag of the seat on the bus/train if others are looking for a place to sit.
WilvanderHeijden 3 years ago
In my country it's not considered polite, it's considered avoiding being called a selfish prick or cow.
#37
Buy someone their favorite food item. My mom will specifically buy me new pears. It’s awesome because you see they like something, you remember they like something, and you put effort into getting them that something. For two-three bucks you can make a very thoughtful gesture.
KombatBunni 3 years ago
I bring my partner a chocolate bar or a snack called pocky. They love the surprise :)
#39
After I hang out with my girlfriend, she'll often text me something like "Thanks for having me over today :)" and it'll make me feel really good because it's a reminder that we're doing this because we like being together and not just because it's convenient or routine or whatever.
GirlFriday 3 years ago
Before he moved in, my SO would send me thank you for cooking text or thanks for watching my show with me or whatever. So sweet.
#40
Giving a compliment. E.g. you look nice today.
What do you think ?
Jessica Combrink 3 years ago
In summary, all the ways we can be decent, thoughtful and caring humans in this world!
Ahimsa Soul 3 years ago
I'm surprised with most of these because they are basic good manners. Are good manners underrated and therefore seldomly used?
Load More Replies...
Burs 3 years ago
One is if you invite a person to an even where they don’t know the people to take care of them. Like if my partner comes to my Xmas family party I will spend most of the time near him or at least making sure that he is comfortable and not alone in the table in silence.
Ahimsa Soul 3 years ago
True! A friend invited me for a dinner party, I said I'd come for dessert and coffee. When I arrived people spontaneanously changed their seats so I could sit next to the people I already knew and didn't feel left out. They were so kind! Now I always look forward to meet them and we keep tabs on each other on social media.
Load More Replies... Susie Elle 3 years ago
I always try to be patient with people, for instance elderly when they're at the register in a supermarket or something. I also try to be aware of people who may need some assistance or help with something.
Tapio Magnussen 3 years ago
Politeness, citizenship... thousand of problems would be solved in less than a finger snap.
Awsomemom52 2 years ago
It's important to let your loved ones know that they're loved. Sometimes they "need to hear it" and you can't always know when. I always say "I love you both" when I end a phone call with my son and his girlfriend is listening... because I do love her. I also always hug them both to say hello and goodbye, when we meet.
Natalie Oleander 3 years ago
It makes me sad that people just don't do all of these already. We all used to do this. What happened?? This is why I'm happier alone. This list should be something we all do already.
Gavin Johnson 3 years ago
How many of these are free? They are simple little things that keep us connected to other humans. I’m a big advocate for paying it forward. It can be a smile as you cross paths with the senior citizen on the way to the shops, a thank you or recognition of someone who has been selfless. That smile might make someone’s day just a shade brighter, why wouldn’t you share a smile or a ‘good morning’? It’s free, spread a bit of love around. Be more kind, it’s a good feeling.
Mewton’s Third Paw 3 years ago
As long as you’re not an aśs who inconveniences everyone, I don’t care about these. I don’t care about nice gestures that take up time. Just stay out of the way and let me work.
Ahimsa Soul 3 years ago
Not all of these take time, some are practical: listening to someone who got interrupted (maybe they had a valid point but were drowned by someone with a louder personality), letting people out of public transports and then going in (it's both pratical and more efficient).
Load More Replies... More Thinking Needed 3 years ago
Look someone square in the eye when saying "Thank You". Better if you actually say what it is your are thanking them for. "Thank You" is one on the most used phrases, but it is said largely out of habit and not sincerity. See for yourself. Watch how people react when you take the time to say "Thank You" with sincerity. You literally will make their day, every time.
Witchling 3 years ago
Another person and I were waiting to turn into a drive thru from opposite directions. I got there first and technically he was coming from the 'wrong' direction but so what. I noted that several people lined up behind me and I doubted this guy would get his turn to get in the line so I waved him thru. No biggie. When I got to the window to pay he'd paid for my order. Made me smile. A few weeks later I accidentally cut someone off turning into that same drive thru. I paid for their order to apologize.
Jessica Combrink 3 years ago
In summary, all the ways we can be decent, thoughtful and caring humans in this world!
Ahimsa Soul 3 years ago
I'm surprised with most of these because they are basic good manners. Are good manners underrated and therefore seldomly used?
Load More Replies... Burs 3 years ago
One is if you invite a person to an even where they don’t know the people to take care of them. Like if my partner comes to my Xmas family party I will spend most of the time near him or at least making sure that he is comfortable and not alone in the table in silence.
Ahimsa Soul 3 years ago
True! A friend invited me for a dinner party, I said I'd come for dessert and coffee. When I arrived people spontaneanously changed their seats so I could sit next to the people I already knew and didn't feel left out. They were so kind! Now I always look forward to meet them and we keep tabs on each other on social media.
Load More Replies... Susie Elle 3 years ago
I always try to be patient with people, for instance elderly when they're at the register in a supermarket or something. I also try to be aware of people who may need some assistance or help with something.
Tapio Magnussen 3 years ago
Politeness, citizenship... thousand of problems would be solved in less than a finger snap.
Awsomemom52 2 years ago
It's important to let your loved ones know that they're loved. Sometimes they "need to hear it" and you can't always know when. I always say "I love you both" when I end a phone call with my son and his girlfriend is listening... because I do love her. I also always hug them both to say hello and goodbye, when we meet.
Natalie Oleander 3 years ago
It makes me sad that people just don't do all of these already. We all used to do this. What happened?? This is why I'm happier alone. This list should be something we all do already.
Gavin Johnson 3 years ago
How many of these are free? They are simple little things that keep us connected to other humans. I’m a big advocate for paying it forward. It can be a smile as you cross paths with the senior citizen on the way to the shops, a thank you or recognition of someone who has been selfless. That smile might make someone’s day just a shade brighter, why wouldn’t you share a smile or a ‘good morning’? It’s free, spread a bit of love around. Be more kind, it’s a good feeling.
Mewton’s Third Paw 3 years ago
As long as you’re not an aśs who inconveniences everyone, I don’t care about these. I don’t care about nice gestures that take up time. Just stay out of the way and let me work.
Ahimsa Soul 3 years ago
Not all of these take time, some are practical: listening to someone who got interrupted (maybe they had a valid point but were drowned by someone with a louder personality), letting people out of public transports and then going in (it's both pratical and more efficient).
Load More Replies... More Thinking Needed 3 years ago
Look someone square in the eye when saying "Thank You". Better if you actually say what it is your are thanking them for. "Thank You" is one on the most used phrases, but it is said largely out of habit and not sincerity. See for yourself. Watch how people react when you take the time to say "Thank You" with sincerity. You literally will make their day, every time.
Witchling 3 years ago
Another person and I were waiting to turn into a drive thru from opposite directions. I got there first and technically he was coming from the 'wrong' direction but so what. I noted that several people lined up behind me and I doubted this guy would get his turn to get in the line so I waved him thru. No biggie. When I got to the window to pay he'd paid for my order. Made me smile. A few weeks later I accidentally cut someone off turning into that same drive thru. I paid for their order to apologize.
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