ADVERTISEMENT

Therapy can be life-changing. It can help you make sense of the past, embrace your complex feelings, and give you a fresh new perspective centered on growth. However, just because you walk into a mental health professional’s office does not mean that they’ll ‘solve’ all of your issues in a week. Therapy is an involved process that requires a lot of heavy emotional work.

One internet user recently sparked a very important discussion on the r/AskWomen subreddit, after they asked everyone to share the ‘ugly truths’ they struggled to come to terms with in therapy. Many users found this vulnerability to be empowering. Read on for their most open and honest stories.

#1

30 "Ugly Truths" People Find The Hardest To Accept While In Therapy That I have to put in work to heal the trauma caused by someone else.

Cold-Benefit-414 , Polina Zimmerman Report

Add photo comments
POST
Ellie Ahmed
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yes yes yes, this a million times. I remember it being a big turning point of my therapy when I realised this. I was in denial for so long because I couldn't deal with my intense anger at the unfairness of it... but the people who hurt you will NOT fix you, and you are the one who is being hurt by your trauma, not them. That was the other one for me, realising that letting go of anger didn't mean letting the people responsible off the hook

View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu
RELATED:
    #2

    30 "Ugly Truths" People Find The Hardest To Accept While In Therapy That no one is coming to save you, gotta put your big girl pants on and save yourself.

    doublekidsnoincome , C.T. PHAT Report

    #3

    30 "Ugly Truths" People Find The Hardest To Accept While In Therapy Sometimes you will never get an answer to questions you have, no matter how insane it drives you, and you just have to move on.

    Viiibrations , Keenan Constance Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    michael Chock
    Community Member
    1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    True. If you obsess over why, you are still letting the what harm you. Just accept they're/it's broken and throw it away.

    View more commentsArrow down menu

    Therapy and mental health issues are still taboo topics in some cultures and households. The sad reality is that many people are discouraged from seeking professional help when they need it. Or they’re too afraid to ask for help because they don’t want to be seen as weak. 

    Loren Soeiro, Ph.D., points out in a post on Psychology Today that there are a few key anti-therapy attitudes that are prevalent in society. For instance, some people feel that they’d rather talk about their issues with their friends. However, a therapist is very different from a BFF: they actively look for the sources of the problem and can offer you deep insights into your behavior, thoughts, and feelings.

    ADVERTISEMENT
    #4

    30 "Ugly Truths" People Find The Hardest To Accept While In Therapy Other people’s emotions are not my responsibility.

    shrimpybimp , Tim Gouw Report

    #5

    30 "Ugly Truths" People Find The Hardest To Accept While In Therapy I talk to myself in such a mean hateful way, that I would never dare talk to another living person. I tend to show grace to everyone except myself. I’m my own worst critic and it’s self defeating

    lucy1011 , Darius Bashar Report

    #6

    30 "Ugly Truths" People Find The Hardest To Accept While In Therapy Even though there will be friends and family around, I am still an individual, and I need to start accepting that being alone is good. Being alone doesn't need to feel lonely.

    itscheychey , Josh Hild Report

    ADVERTISEMENT

    Others might claim that they don’t have the time for therapy or that it’s far too expensive for them. However, you really can’t put a price on good mental health. If there are deep-seated issues that negatively affect your daily life, it’s vital to tackle them. Ignoring the problems will only make things worse as time goes by. It’s not a question of time and finances. It’s a question of priorities and motivations. 

    In the meantime, it’s essential that you find a therapist who is a good fit for you. It’s entirely possible that you’ve had bad experiences or didn’t find a professional whom you ‘clicked’ with. Finding the right person will take some time, but it’s well worth it. Ideally, you’ll find someone you can work with for years (and possibly decades). 

    As we’ve noted on Bored Panda before, a trustworthy therapist is someone who will focus entirely on you during your session. Quality therapists are professionals who are punctual, and consistent, and won’t put the spotlight on themselves.

    #7

    30 "Ugly Truths" People Find The Hardest To Accept While In Therapy Sometimes moving on without that apology you want so bad is better than trying to get it. Some people just can't give a sincere apology for the pain and trauma they caused.

    SlipperyWhenWet67 , Ketut Subiyanto Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    D. Pitbull
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Or just coming to terms with the fact that some people have no ability to truly apologize because they're 'Never-my-faults" - so the best thing to do is to drop'em (and if you MUST make nice - ie: job reasons - immediately move to arms-length.)

    View more commentsArrow down menu
    ADVERTISEMENT
    #8

    30 "Ugly Truths" People Find The Hardest To Accept While In Therapy You have worth even if you contribute nothing. You shouldn’t have to prove your value. And your self esteem should not be based solely on how others perceive you.

    cygnets , Karolina Grabowska Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    michael Chock
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Everyone has something to contribute. People don't lose their value, it's society that's losing its values.

    View more commentsArrow down menu
    ADVERTISEMENT
    #9

    30 "Ugly Truths" People Find The Hardest To Accept While In Therapy I will never get the approval of my parents

    Competitive_Mark_287 , Andrea Piacquadio Report

    Though therapy is important, it is not the only way to take care of your mental health, embrace harsh truths, and work through messy emotional issues. It’s equally as important that you have a strong support system around you. A supportive social circle, filled with family and friends whom you can trust, can grant you the stability that you need to heal and thrive.

    In the meantime, it’s important to remember that we’re not just mental beings but physical ones, too. That’s why self-care should be a priority, too. That means having a consistent exercise schedule. It means eating healthy food and avoiding junk, as well as limiting your intake of alcohol, nicotine, and caffeine. It means spending time in nature, getting plenty of rest, meditating, and finding the time for hobbies you genuinely love. It doesn’t quite matter what you do (whether it’s hiking, tennis, painting, or yoga), so long as you’re active, you love the activities, and you develop a routine.

    ADVERTISEMENT
    #10

    That my disease isn’t curable. I am NOT going to improve, I have to quit waiting on better days to start enjoying my life because those days are never ever coming. This is my new permanent life, this is my new normal & even after several years of being sick I can’t really accept it.

    MSRegiB Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    Nina
    Community Member
    1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I feel this. It's hard just getting dealt s****y cards all of a sudden, and having to play the rest of the game with them. Edit:typo

    View More Replies...
    View more commentsArrow down menu
    #11

    30 "Ugly Truths" People Find The Hardest To Accept While In Therapy That my mother will never be the person I need her or want her to be, and I have to let go of that dream of her which I created. I can keep her in my life or cut her out of it, but only by accepting her for who she is and letting go of the fiction.

    powerslave22 , MART PRODUCTION Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    D. Pitbull
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yeah, figured out that when mom said I was a huge mistake/she should never have had me - oh, hey, she really meant it. Would be nice if OTHER people would stop trying to convince me that I'm just "misunderstanding" her and that I should keep trying for that 'ideal'.

    View More Replies...
    View more commentsArrow down menu
    ADVERTISEMENT
    #12

    30 "Ugly Truths" People Find The Hardest To Accept While In Therapy That I don't do nice things for others because I'm a "nice" person but that I do it in a self-serving manner to keep myself "safe." Growing up I worked tirelessly doing nice things for my alcoholic mother so she wouldn't hurt me and now as an adult compulsively I do nice things for others so that I won't be rejected by them.

    Downtown_Detail2707 , Liza Summer Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    michael Chock
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Hate to say it, but that makes you a nice person. Just make it your goal to give others the opportunity to be nice in return.

    View More Replies...
    View more commentsArrow down menu
    #13

    30 "Ugly Truths" People Find The Hardest To Accept While In Therapy People in general don’t have has much empathy and compassion for others at the level that I do. That’s been the hardest thing for me to accept.

    thnx4stalkingme , SHVETS production Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    michael Chock
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Some people are givers, some people are takers. Don't "accept" your empathy, treasure it.

    View More Replies...
    View more commentsArrow down menu
    #14

    30 "Ugly Truths" People Find The Hardest To Accept While In Therapy That I have PTSD because my life has been full of trauma.

    Felt terrible when I first heard it. Surely the "trauma" label must be for people who had it worse than me?

    Feels much more realistic and objective now that I've been treated by a therapist who specializes in PTSD. Yes, what I went through was trauma. And yes, it left its mark on me.

    insertcaffeine , cottonbro studio Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    Haywood Jablome
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I have felt like I don't "deserve" to have PTSD, like calling what ive been through traumatic was insulting to people who've been through trauma. But I have it, and comparative suffering just doesn't work

    View more commentsArrow down menu
    ADVERTISEMENT
    #15

    30 "Ugly Truths" People Find The Hardest To Accept While In Therapy That nobody MADE me angry. I chose anger as a response.

    Rosa_linda83 , Karolina Grabowska Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    Stephanie A Mutti
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Anger is a normal response to stress. The problem is when the stressor is absent and you are still holding on to the anger. You gotta let that sh** go for your own good.

    View More Replies...
    View more commentsArrow down menu
    #16

    30 "Ugly Truths" People Find The Hardest To Accept While In Therapy That my parents emotionally neglected me. More and more memories of how what I needed was so lacking keep coming up and it hurts to accept that they either didn't care or didn't have the energy for me

    emotionaluranian , Andy Li Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    Tamra
    Community Member
    1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The day I realized that both of my parents were mentally ill was the day I realized that I was really a pretty good kid who deserved love and support, and nothing I did, no shortcomings on my part caused their behavior. Unfortunately, that day was when I was a 50 year old woman and they were both dead - a lifetime spent wondering what was so wong with me that my own parents couldn't love me. I know better now, but damn, I wish I'd gotten there sooner.

    View More Replies...
    View more commentsArrow down menu
    #17

    30 "Ugly Truths" People Find The Hardest To Accept While In Therapy No one owes you love, even if they’ve said they loved you before… people change, feelings change, it happens.
    It’s a hard truth.

    Tired-mama-of-one , RDNE Stock project Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    michael Chock
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Love only lasts when your spirits grow together. That is why collaboration, perspective and empathy builds love, they direct how we change as people.

    View More Replies...
    View more commentsArrow down menu
    #18

    30 "Ugly Truths" People Find The Hardest To Accept While In Therapy That my parents we're emotionally abusive, and that my emotional regulation and anger management issues stem from being raised in an emotionally reactive household.

    ForbiddenCheese321 , RDNE Stock project Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    michael Chock
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I overshare to compensate for my damage. Being intentionally vulnerable gives me the control of their reactions.

    #19

    30 "Ugly Truths" People Find The Hardest To Accept While In Therapy My birth mother doesn't like me and never will. She only acts like it when she wants something.

    BackQueasy5488 , RDNE Stock project Report

    ADVERTISEMENT
    #21

    30 "Ugly Truths" People Find The Hardest To Accept While In Therapy Medication will not make me better, it is just there to help me keep going.

    DiddlyDoodilyDoh , Ron Lach Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    michael Chock
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My DR described it as a life jacket that gives me the chance to swim towards shore. Medication is hope for change, you just need to accept it's possible and you deserve it.

    View more commentsArrow down menu
    #22

    When my mom died, I realized through therapy, that I wasn't mourning the loss of my mother, but the realization that she had never been one, and her death made that definite. I'm honestly still taken aback by that one, years later.

    kedeligkonny-dk Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    Moomin from Denmark
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Oh - I know this one! Also - we grieve for loosing the possibility, that things might get better.

    View More Replies...
    View more commentsArrow down menu
    #23

    That I was not a "low effort kid". My parents raised me in such a way that i just, stopped having needs because it was easier than expecting them to meet them. It's still hard for me to admit that I have needs sometimes, and to admit that I feel pain because I feel they weren't met.

    I'm still working on the part where I'm ugly and unlikeable and nobody will ever really love me. That one is tough.

    sipsredpepper Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    michael Chock
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It is tough. Start small, search out groups with similar likes and accept they are just like you. I embraced that no one would like me and just went to bars and talked to random people. They would forget what we talked about and the next week I would talk to them again.

    View more commentsArrow down menu
    ADVERTISEMENT
    #24

    30 "Ugly Truths" People Find The Hardest To Accept While In Therapy That I have developed codependency and it has pretty much wrecked how I view my relationships and how I act towards myself.

    Oh and also, how trauma has affected the way I view people’s tones of voice and facial expression. This has caused me to be hyper aware of body language. It can be a good and bad thing depending on how you look at it. I can easily pick up when someone is uncomfortable, not saying everything they mean to, are keeping a secret, lying, etc. But it also makes me overthink and over analyze HAHA.

    rosie-skies , Odonata Wellnesscenter Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    A.E.P. Face The muddy professor
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I can relate to this so much. My childhood trauma made me hyper focused and sensitive to other people's moods,feelings and body language. Many times I am complemented on how observant I am, and for how well I can think on my feet in stressful situations, but I also have a tendency to overthink many situations and I noticed that I can make certain people uncomfortable with how well I can read them like I'm reading their mind or something. It's a gift and a curse, and I often wonder if the ones that admire this ability of mine, would admire it so much if they knew what I had to go through to develop it.

    View More Replies...
    View more commentsArrow down menu
    #25

    30 "Ugly Truths" People Find The Hardest To Accept While In Therapy The reason my mean friends from 13 still effect me today isn’t just because I struggled to get over it, but because everyone in my support circle (family, other friends, etc) didn’t believe me or made it feel like it was my fault for not telling them until after I left that friendship

    hand_thantsd , Kelly Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    Mycroft1967
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    We do not remember the 90% of the friendly and good interactions we have. We remember the 10% bad ones, and question ourselves.

    View more commentsArrow down menu
    ADVERTISEMENT
    #26

    Someone who is emotionally unavailable can often make someone who is emotionally available feel like their basic needs are too much.

    ReannaK Report

    #27

    that if I want to heal I have to stop seeing myself as a victim. yeah some bad s**t happened but I can’t carry that and let it affect other people because ive victimized myself and am waiting for someone to come to my rescue

    mcdonaldsfrenchfri Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    michael Chock
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You were the victim. It's not your fault. Those people sucked. Now, change your circumstances so it doesn't keep happening. You have to live with yourself forever, don't let others turn you into their garbage bin.

    View More Replies...
    View more commentsArrow down menu
    #28

    30 "Ugly Truths" People Find The Hardest To Accept While In Therapy It doesn't matter why someone did something, what matters is they did and how I feel about it.

    I spent too much time agonizing over whether certain people realized they were being abusive at the time or if they were too stupid/imbalanced to realize it. Doesn't matter. Nothing excuses being abusive to another person, especially if that person is a child in your care. Having your own mental health issues isn't an excuse to abuse others.

    Also my therapist wanted me to reparent my inner child and I have zero concept of how a good parent would treat a child and the idea of treating my inner child kindly freaks me the f**k out. I never got to be a kid and the idea of letting myself act childish is very upsetting.

    BaylisAscaris , Piotr Arnoldes Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    Dani M
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    the therapy tecnique of talking to your younger self/ inner child is the scariest thing i did in therapy. still too scared to go there without therapist. this post has me crying at work

    View More Replies...
    View more commentsArrow down menu
    ADVERTISEMENT
    See Also on Bored Panda
    #29

    30 "Ugly Truths" People Find The Hardest To Accept While In Therapy That my parents (mostly my mother) were/are emotionally immature and abusive. It was so normalised my whole childhood, I knew they weren't great parents but I didn't realise the amount of trauma I experienced until it surfaced in therapy.

    TheGardenNymph , RDNE Stock project Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    Kathryn Baylis
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I HATE arguments. I prefer to take five, cool down, and talk it out calmly instead. The reason? My parents and brothers fought constantly whenever the family got together. Sunday morning was the one day everyone was home and around the breakfast table. Inevitably a fight would break out between my parents and brothers. I was always acting as the mediator, the peacemaker, trying to get them to stop fighting. I hated the turmoil. It got to be such a regular thing, my brothers and I nicknamed them “Sunday Morning Spectaculars”. My brothers and I long ago left home and had our own families, where we could have a say in how disagreements would be resolved. We went no contact or low contact with our parents, who have both now died and been dragged to hell. So peace now finally reigns in the family.

    View More Replies...
    View more commentsArrow down menu
    #30

    30 "Ugly Truths" People Find The Hardest To Accept While In Therapy That my father in fact did not love me and actually committed real crimes against me. I'm not sure which was harder to accept.

    redonreddit24 , Meruyert Gonullu Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    michael Chock
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Don't accept either. He wasn't your dad, he was just the person who made your childhood hell. Go pick out a dad.

    View More Replies...
    View more commentsArrow down menu
    Continue reading with Bored Panda Premium
    Unlimited content
    Ad-free browsing
    Dark mode
    #31

    That sometimes your best friends are only there out of convenience (small town or group) and don’t actually care about you. Once that convenience is removed, the friendship has no base and they’ll no longer care about you, no matter how strong that friendship once was.

    lfkpanda Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    SkekVi
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Oof yeah. Fair-weather friends or friends of convenience are so awful. Makes you question every interaction you have with anybody after you realise it.

    View more commentsArrow down menu
    ADVERTISEMENT
    See Also on Bored Panda
    #32

    30 "Ugly Truths" People Find The Hardest To Accept While In Therapy That I didn’t have good models for a healthy relationship growing up and my tendency to enter long term partnerships with bad men and people I wasn’t compatible with because I was just “going with the flow” was ruining my life.

    princessvibes , Alex Green Report

    #33

    30 "Ugly Truths" People Find The Hardest To Accept While In Therapy That I water red flags so they can grow into beautiful disasters. I am my own worst enemy.

    Ok_Wtch2183 , Karolina Grabowska Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    michael Chock
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    When disaster is all we know, we find comfort in keeping it around. Only thing that helped me is nurturing a small bit of peace and letting it slowly grow.

    #34

    30 "Ugly Truths" People Find The Hardest To Accept While In Therapy I’m intimidated by anyone who I feel like has their life together, so I only make friends with people who I feel like have messed up lives like mine.

    There are so many times that I enjoy someone’s company and can see us being friends until they say something that intimidates me - something as small as them saying “I woke up to run this morning.” Basically, my subconscious says, “I could NEVER do that. She must have her life together and there’s no reason she would want to be around someone as screwed up as me.”

    NeverMind-IForgot , Alexander Suhorucov Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    michael Chock
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    They may be talking to you because they need someone to tell them it's ok to relax. Personally I love hanging around motivated people, hopefully some of their momentum will push me along.

    ADVERTISEMENT
    See Also on Bored Panda
    #35

    30 "Ugly Truths" People Find The Hardest To Accept While In Therapy my mother likes me, she doesn’t love me. she wanted children but not the responsibility that comes with having them, or the responsibility of supporting them after they’re cute and cuddly

    peach-scone-bob , Caleb Woods Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    cartoon ghosts
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My mother might love me (not sure about that one) but she definitely doesn't like me and the feeling is mutual

    View more commentsArrow down menu
    #36

    I’ve lived the majority of my life becoming something to show proof that I’m worth something. And I have to be the best to be worthy of anyone / anything - and so that they won’t leave me.

    “ See me? See how well I’m doing? Please tell me I’m doing a good job. I’m doing a good job, right? I’m not a horrible person, right? You love me and won’t leave me, because look at how amazing I am - right? “

    I’ve got bad bad abandonment issues.

    DragonflyRemarkable3 Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    michael Chock
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I always thought if someone didn't like me for who I am, they were saving me from wasting time trying to know them.

    ADVERTISEMENT
    See Also on Bored Panda
    #37

    The more I obsess over trying to figure out what caused me to become the way I am, the longer I just remain stuck in the past. Even if things from my childhood and my teens affected me, it's up to me to learn how to accept things, make the changes, and let go. I really am my own Final Boss Fight.

    Cottonsocks434 Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    michael Chock
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Its true. Always obsess over who you want to become, the past is already written.

    #38

    I’m not in charge of other people’s feelings, even when they feel bad because of my actions. Ie. My dad being disappointed that I’m not pursuing higher education or my mom being sad because I won’t let her track me anymore.
    Had a therapy appointment today and cried because of this. I have to do what I want to do and find happiness in that, instead of doing what everyone around me wants me to do, even when me not doing what they want hurts them.

    LandOfLostSouls Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    michael Chock
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Other people assuming things without asking you or expecting the impossible are never your fault. Also, they don't have to live your life, you do. Take control.

    View more commentsArrow down menu
    ADVERTISEMENT
    See Also on Bored Panda
    #39

    That I will die someday. Ended up in therapy because I couldn't stop thinking that I was dying, blood clots, strokes, heart attacks, cancer, I panicked about it all. Everyone around me would say 'omg stop being silly of course you're not dying' but it never assured me or helped all. The therapist told me I am dying, every day I get closer to it, just like everyone else. It's a fact of life we all need to accept. And it helped. Now I don't live in fear of the inevitable.

    charlieclaree Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    michael Chock
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If we are lucky we live for 100 years, but we are dead for the rest of eternity. Life is nothing more than the first step of whatever comes next. Personally, I am excited to start my eternity. I wonder what it will be like?

    View More Replies...
    View more commentsArrow down menu
    #40

    That I can heal myself but not my family, and that the parts of them that hurt me the most at times were the maladaptive coping skills they developed during their own traumatic childhoods, but that doesn’t excuse their behavior.

    That if you aren’t choosing to break the cycle, you’re choosing to continue it. You can’t effortlessly float out of a whirlpool.

    That there is no “good parent” in an abusive home.

    That I have C-PTSD which is related to my physical health conditions.

    desilyn89 Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    ADVERTISEMENT
    See Also on Bored Panda
    #41

    Sometimes, I am the problem and source of my own issues. Recognizing that is a good thing and a catalyst to change. Therapy is also not meant to side with me. It takes a lot of work to unlearn a lot of unhealthy skills I have learned throughout my life.

    Iheartmarshall Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    #42

    That I am responsible for a lot of my suffering because I don't actually have as developed boundaries as I thought I did. Oops.

    omfgsquee Report

    #43

    How much my anxiety has ruled my life and still does and I’m in my mid 30’s. How much shame and guilt I carry and don’t even know why. (There was an incident as a kid I was shamed for that is part of the problem but not all of it.) I’m so embarrassed of what my body has become due to health issues and being low income for most of my life and the possibility of those things never changing.

    OptimalPreference178 Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    michael Chock
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I see my shame as a victory. It means I have become better than I was. Being poor, yeah, that will last.

    ADVERTISEMENT
    See Also on Bored Panda
    #44

    My first 'real' relationship was a grooming situation. I was 19 with someone 25 years older than me, and of course I thought, 'No one understands our relationship! This is different than other age-gap relationships.' It wasn't. I wasted four to five years of my youth on it. I still get flashbacks that really ick me out and make my heart race, and I'm still working on that in therapy.

    Whiskey_Sweet Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    #45

    30 "Ugly Truths" People Find The Hardest To Accept While In Therapy That im the problem lol

    hungryginger1234 , Liza Summer Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    CJ Vee
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Sometimes we are, or part of it. It’s important to look at that.

    View more commentsArrow down menu
    #46

    I have no idea what a healthy relationship is. And most of my relationships have been exploitative or abusive. And because I don't know I am doomed to repeat this cycle.

    I am hurting and grieving and angry. At the fact I have settled for breadcrumbs and outright terrible behavior.

    waffleznstuff30 Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    GirlFriday
    Community Member
    Premium
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The first time I started a healthy relationship, I ran so fast because I didn't know that I was supposed to be treated well and others would be considerate of me. It felt so foreign that the concept scared me. I went to a lot of therapy to figure that one out.

    ADVERTISEMENT
    #47

    communication. i used to be a people pleaser and did things for others even if i really didn’t like it, but now, i say how i feel and why i feel that to others. they won’t know what you’re thinking until you tell them.

    butteredbuttons Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    #48

    That I was so caught up in what other people thought about me I could not be candid with a therapist -- which is why I needed one ofc.

    skylightabove Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    michael Chock
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I decided to be overly honest with people after I realized those who couldn't accept me weren't people I wanted to spend time with.

    #49

    That I have a deep rooted fear of disappointing the men in my life and I have codependency issues

    caseytatumsgf Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    michael Chock
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Just find men that like being dissapointed. Some men are REALLY into it.

    #50

    Love and abuse cannot coexist

    stefslaughter Report

    ADVERTISEMENT
    #51

    Rejection is not the worst thing that can happen to you. Stating your wants and needs is healthy. It’s better to be alone than to stay with someone with whom you can’t share your needs and feelings — or even worse, someone who doesn’t want to meet those needs. Also, there is a real human need for community. Thankfully, as an adult, there is the option to build your own community.

    chicama Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    #52

    My parents were terrible parents. They were emotionally dismissive, financially irresponsible, and quit being parents when I was about 8 and left my parenting up to my older brother.

    P1ercedPr1ncess Report

    #53

    Not a women. but I really struggled to comes to terms with misyogny in general.

    I love my wife, love me mom and sister. and STILL had to learn that how I grew up treating women in general came from a very condescending place. Even promoting women in STEM and genearally saying "look at these women, they are cool" was just a plaster on the fact that I needed to understand women and men are people. we are the same.

    Therapy showed me a lot.

    Agitated_Sorbet689 Report

    ADVERTISEMENT