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Many of us enjoy getting a cheeky takeaway after a hard day at work or school. Not only is it a way to reward ourselves for our efforts but we also end up supporting the local businesses and forming a bond with the shop owners. However, you can’t expect every single meal to be as stellar as what you’d get at a five-star restaurant. Some folks take it very personally if they have a sub-par experience and then vent their rage in the form of bad reviews.

That’s where the witty ‘Takeaway Trauma’ Instagram account comes in. The social media project collects the funniest and most unhinged customer reviews, and shares the savage comments that the restaurant owners came back with. Check out the freshest posts below and upvote your faves. Are we the only ones getting hungry right now? We hope not!

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    #3

    Intoxicated

    Intoxicated

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    Gøøse
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Wtf kinda platform rates things out of 6? Sure it is just as arbitrary as 5, but you'd think it would stick to tradition.

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    Takeaways are huge in the United Kingdom. Statista notes that the fast food and takeaway market in the UK amounted to 21.37 billion pounds (27.46 billion dollars) in 2022, with a forecast of 22.04 billion pounds (28.32 billion dollars) in 2023.

    The fun ‘Takeaway Trauma’ project has grown immensely since it was founded back in late 2020. At the time of writing, the Instagram page has grown to house 184k takeaway and sassy comeback-loving fans. It’s a favorite of many internet users and has become a popular niche for anyone craving a big dose of negativity with a bunch of comedy poured all over it. All you need is an internet connection, as well as a big bag of popcorn or a large portion of curry fries and you’ve got an enjoyable evening ahead of you, really.

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    #6

    Traumatic Takeaway Stories

    Traumatic Takeaway Stories

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    It’s easy to see why the page is such a huge hit. The posts are incredibly relatable on so many levels. First of all, you’re dealing with the topic of food. That’s something that absolutely everyone can relate to because everyone needs to eat in order to survive. So the quality of the food and service is a touchy subject for many folks. Many of us have also eaten out at least once in our lives, so there’s another layer of relatability for you there.

    Secondly, people tend to be drawn to negative news more than positive topics. Though we all enjoy wholesome content from time to time, it’s spicy takes, criticism, and drama that dominate our attention. That’s why reading negative reviews is its own form of entertainment. As is watching how business owners put overly-critical wannabe food critics in their place with their rapier-like wit.

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    And thirdly, there is a ton of comedy to enjoy on ‘Takeaway Trauma.’ Laughter helps us forget about our worries, improves our immune system, gives our internal organs a decent workout, and makes us feel good. So it’s no wonder that this cocktail of food, negativity, and humor has been so popular with the Instagram crowd!

    #12

    Traumatic Takeaway Stories

    Traumatic Takeaway Stories

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    Red PANda (she/they)
    Community Member
    1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Sarel down there is partially right. It is the big businesses and companies that are responsible for making so much plastic waste. Then they pin it on us to dispose of it properly. Recycling was made in the first place partly because of an ad I think IKEA sent out after introducing cheap light furniture made with plastic. Some of you might remember it; it was that one with someone driving a car and littering and a Native American picking up the litter and crying a single tear or smthn idk THE POINT IS that big companies and businesses will try to subtly pin the blame on us and make us do something about it while they do nothing >:/ Edit: some people have pointed out to me that the ad was not made by IKEA, that’s my bad. HOWEVER it was funded by big plastic-producing companies like Coca Cola. Also, I’m also not saying that we don’t have to do anything, and that we aren’t partially to blame for this, I’m just saying we ALL have to do our part and these companies are slacking off and pushing the blame all onto us.

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    During a previous interview with the founder of ‘Takeaway Trauma,’ Bored Panda learned that the account even got featured on The Jonathan Ross Show, on the BBC. “I didn’t even realize they were airing it, they just did, and then someone just messaged the account telling me they saw it!” the founder told us earlier. 

    “I’ve definitely seen a big increase in audience, especially since the TV show. People seem to be more and more involved in the humor, it’s almost like we have our own little community, which is exciting,” they said.

    #14

    Bye Bye

    Bye Bye

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    Ken Beattie
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm not a fan of complaining about the price, unless it's relevant to the problem. If you're willing to pay 6 pound (or 7) for a waffle with ice cream that's on you. You know what you're getting. If however you pay 7 pounds for a waffle with ice cream and the waffle is the size of a cracker then fair enough.

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    “I do see some really savage replies by business owners, some are so rude that I can’t actually post them as it’s pretty offensive—that’s how bad it's got!”

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    Back in late 2021, the founder of the project told us that they’d seen a surge in negative reviews about pizza deliveries. “It seems that the Neapolitan-style pizzas with the thin base seem to always fold over, or toppings fall off. It’s quite funny but at the same quite frustrating for the customer!” they said.

    “Funnily enough, one thing I have learned is that most people only really write reviews if it’s really bad or really good—rarely in between. I think sometimes people are so annoyed and angry that in the heat of the moment after just receiving their ‘bad food,’ they go on to the internet and type everything they are thinking about right there and then,” they shared.

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    #19

    So Much Greece

    So Much Greece

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    Francois
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I love Grease, the culture, the islands, Athens and history is amazing.

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    #20

    Traumatic Takeaway Stories

    Traumatic Takeaway Stories

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    Julie S
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm guessing some of these are from people that English is not their first language.

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    #21

    Not One But 2 Contact Lenses

    Not One But 2 Contact Lenses

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    Matt Du
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It was so the chef could keep an eye on it while he was cooking other stuff

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    Meanwhile, during another interview, the page founder opened up to Bored Panda about the inspiration behind ‘Takeaway Trauma.’ "I'm a big takeaway fan and found myself going to order a delivery and thought I’d check the reviews of a particular establishment. After checking the good reviews, I thought I better check the bad ones also," they said.

    #22

    Traumatic Takeaway Stories

    Traumatic Takeaway Stories

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    Ge Po
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Doesn't help, this.One comment like this would not necessarily scare me off. The owner's response will.

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    #23

    Get Stuffed

    Get Stuffed

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    zgillet
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Ugh, hurting a business for a joke? Downvoting this one.

    Demiboy forg
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I can't tell if the waitress was joking and this person didn't get it or this person was joking??

    Black Rabbit
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Saying like “get stuffed” can come across rude. But I’m sure there more to the story

    Binky Melnik
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Dingaling advertises how stupid he is by posting how he misunderstood what she said? Had she said “Get the thick one,” there’d have been no issue. Since she said “Get the stuffed,” he took it as an insult. Someone should take his social media away before his friends and family find out they’re harboring and enabling a moron.

    Leanne Hailes
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Sadly this customer can't understand her stuffed crust recommendation

    Karen Philpott
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    She should've explained about the stuff crust crust. As obviously that OP didn't understand the answer.

    gilded panda
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    okay, not sure if this is just plain stupid or joke or whatever, but the resturant doesn't deserve this

    Ash Conner
    Community Member
    1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Lol, this person is not smart. Either he/she is serious or didn't put a 5 star with the joke.

    nm
    Community Member
    1 year ago

    This comment has been deleted.

    Bouche, Audi, and Shyla, oh my!
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Stuffed crust is my favorite. It's always nice to have a kitten kill the pizza for you first. What pizza could possibly taste good without little teeth marks or fur in the toppings?

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    #24

    Plaster (From A Finger) In The Butter Chicken!!!!

    Plaster (From A Finger) In The Butter Chicken!!!!

    takeawaytrauma Report

    "I came across the most hilarious reviews and was genuinely crying with laughter. Without really thinking about it, I screenshotted the reviews just for my own personal use to send to friends, etc. People seemed to find them funny so I thought, let's try and curate these and create a page out of it!" they told Bored Panda.

    According to the founder of ‘Takeaway Trauma,’ folks ought to have more empathy and be more forgiving with restaurant staff. “People in general are so impatient and want things instantly. As soon as these high standards aren't met, the natural human reaction is to complain,” they said.

    #25

    Traumatic Takeaway Stories

    Traumatic Takeaway Stories

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    #26

    Oh Rita, We Always Knew You Loved A Guy In Uniform

    Oh Rita, We Always Knew You Loved A Guy In Uniform

    takeawaytrauma Report

    "I think a lot of the time, people give too much stick to takeaways, however, with that being said, some of the images of takeaway food I’ve seen really do look awful, so I think you can only really determine it on a case by case basis,” they pointed out that there are two sides to this particular delicious and metaphorical food industry coin.

    #28

    Traumatic Takeaway Stories

    Traumatic Takeaway Stories

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    Amberlie Mikelsen
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    When you order a beef dish, (especially one that the beef is capable of falling out) you tend to expect to be able see or at least taste the beef. A typical sandwich usually contains between 3 & 5 oz of meat, so this one seems a lot more legit than some.

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    #29

    Dryer Than Me Nana

    Dryer Than Me Nana

    takeawaytrauma Report

    #30

    Rude And Pushy

    Rude And Pushy

    takeawaytrauma Report

    We’d love to hear about the very worst (and best!) takeaways that you’ve ever had, Pandas, so swing by the comment section to share your experiences with all the other readers. Have any of you ever worked at a takeaway or fast food place? If so, we’re keen to hear about things from the other side of the counter.

    Meanwhile, here at Bored Panda, we’re pretty big fans of ‘Takeaway Trauma,’ and you can check out our previous features about the project here and here when you’re done enjoying this list. 

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    #33

    4 And A Half Teethed Monster

    4 And A Half Teethed Monster

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    Ai
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Wouldn't be so funny if they laught about missing leg or a blind person, right? Dental care is expensive and some problems comes from parents mistakes or sickness but somehow it's ok to laught at poor people :/

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    #34

    Don’t Think It’s The Same As Racism Barry

    Don’t Think It’s The Same As Racism Barry

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    Cyber Returns
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I looked at the date. Wasn't there some kind of bug going around? You know, the one that made cash transactions a bit frowned upon and everyone went contactless?

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    #35

    Traumatic Takeaway Stories

    Traumatic Takeaway Stories

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    #36

    Pizza Was Lifting

    Pizza Was Lifting

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    Michael Largey
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Better owner resonse: "We are so glad to hear you found our pizza lifting. Whether it was soul lifting, heart lifting, or taste bud lifting, it's our pleasure to provide our customers that experience!"

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    #39

    No Vaccine For Stupidity

    No Vaccine For Stupidity

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    Groaver Andout
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If he's been eating the "dead skin off the bottom of his great grandad' feet", he is in no position to criticise other's food.

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    #41

    Checked Staffs Teeth

    Checked Staffs Teeth

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    kathryn stretton
    Community Member
    1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Maybe it was a small chip off a chicken bone ? Still not good, but better than tooth.

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    #42

    Ask Chefs To Watch Youtube

    Ask Chefs To Watch Youtube

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    #43

    Dirty Fingernail

    Dirty Fingernail

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    #47

    Chicken Feathers

    Chicken Feathers

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    Debby Keir
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If the feathers were coated in batter, you wouldn't see them till you felt them in your mouth.

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    #49

    Traumatic Takeaway Stories

    Traumatic Takeaway Stories

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    Roman Hans
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "Ohmugod, the rice and the dumplings and the sauce are all DISGUSTING! I wonder what the spring rolls taste like."

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    #52

    Cockroach Pasta

    Cockroach Pasta

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    Frozengeckolover
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You saw bugs on the floor, and still ate there? One time, just after ordering at a restaurant, I saw a roach crawl across the wall by my booth. I left immediately and called the health inspector. I was hoping it was a fluke; during the rainy season pest control can be a problem. They found roaches all over the kitchen and storage rooms too. They failed the inspection, and got shut down. They reopened several weeks later, stayed open for a few months, and got shut down again. They did not reopen again.

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    #53

    Awful Sweaty

    Awful Sweaty

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    Ken Beattie
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Ok, there are at least four Forno Marmary stories on here. I'm starting to think maybe it's the shop not the customers.

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    #54

    Traumatic Takeaway Stories

    Traumatic Takeaway Stories

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    #55

    Traumatic Takeaway Stories

    Traumatic Takeaway Stories

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    #56

    Drugged With Laxatives

    Drugged With Laxatives

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    #57

    This Is The Truth

    This Is The Truth

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    Michael Largey
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If the food is as tempting as the owner's pick up line, I'm making a reservation.

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    #59

    Traumatic Takeaway Stories

    Traumatic Takeaway Stories

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    Michael Largey
    Community Member
    1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    As reporters said during the Watergate scandal "That's a non-denial denial!"

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