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Someone very wise once said that we all come from childhood - and many of our problems that we face in adulthood actually come from there, from interactions with our parents. Interactions that, alas, often leave much to be desired...
And then, having already become adults, or even having our own kids, we too can sometimes see manifestations of a parental bad attitude in our own parenting style. And in this case, the main thing is to stop in time and think: "What am I doing now?" And this selection of parenting "red flags" from netizens may well be useful in this.
More info: Reddit
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#1
Let's their kids run around a shop or shouting in public, especially like restaurants.
Miss Tinker 22 hours ago
As a Librarian I see this all the time, especially in school holidays where kids are often dumped for hours & left to their own devices. Fine if they are being responsible & quiet, but more often than not they are running around shouting, playing loud games on the public computers, pulling random books off shelves & leaving them on the floor until Mum/Dad come back to get them or are sitting nearby glued to their phone. I even had a parent ask me to set their little darling up on the computer with some games while she made herself comfortable on the couch with her phone. No, Ma’am. I am not a babysitter nor am I responsible for your child’s entertainment.
RELATED:
#3
If they don’t discipline their kids at the moment they do something outrageous and get mad at the ppl who do discipline their kids instead.
If you can’t control your kids you failed as a parent, no excuses.
Jessica SpeLangm 1 day ago
I had a situation like that happen when I worked in the photo lab, YEARS ago, at WalMart (USA). A father and son came to the counter, the father was picking up an order. The son was messing around on our Kodak photo copier machine (not a cheap machine). I nicely asked the son to stop playing on the machine because it's not a toy. The father said "don't speak to my son like that". I said "I wouldn't have to if you would watch your kid and stop him from playing on expensive machines that aren't toys". I never got in trouble by management for that, and I quit that job shortly there after.
The original thread appeared two months ago in the AskReddit community with the question: "What instantly tells you someone is a trashy parent?" As of today, it has 3.3K upvotes and over 4K different views and thoughts from commenters. Some people simply state their point of view, some share a story from their childhood or parenting, and some just recall an incident they saw once.
#4
Showing up in pajamas to parent teacher conferences. Arriving to pick their preschool or small child up from school and staying on their cell phone the entire time and not even acknowledging their child or the teacher.
Letting your new boyfriend of three weeks watch your children or even move in with you. Having multiple partners around your children throughout their lives that you have no intention of staying with.
#5
Using their kids as pawns against their SO / ex / the kids' other parent.
anaisbananas 1 day ago (edited)
Every child deserves to believe that their parent(s) are their hero(s). (Edit to add) Even if it's not true, don't take that away from them.
#6
Tells their kid to "shut up," has no regard for the nutritional value of their child's diet, takes credit for what the kid does right but passes the blame for what the kid does wrong.
While each of us has our own criteria for determining what we consider "bad parenting," experts invariably point out some obvious "red flags." For example, according to this dedicated article on the Parenting Styles web portal, there are 5 main signs to detect a bad mom, dad or both:
1. They demand blind obedience from children.
2. They use intimidation to discipline.
3. They don’t monitor or control a child’s deviant behavior.
4. They deny responsibilities.
5. They refuse to adapt.
#7
Talking and yelling at your child like " stop f*****g playing with me, drop that s**t, I ain't gon tell you again, you always pissin me tf off, ima beat yo f****n a*s"
Literally just heard an white American tell this to (I assume their child) that had to be no more than 5 to 7 years old.
ShadeCalico 11 hours ago
That’s like a great way to say that anger is the solution to all problems 🙄
#8
Smoking around their children.
Nathaniel He/Him Cis-Het 1 day ago
Nowadays vaping. Because toxic chemicals are a great thing to inhale, and to force on your child.
#9
Having 5 children and none of them are in school. Eldest one is 8 years old. Always coming up with bull s**t excuses, then getting offended when being called out.
In any case, if we don't take into account the most extreme situations that Child Protective Services are called upon to deal with, trashy parenting often manifests itself in two cases: if parents blatantly neglect their duties and responsibilities, or, conversely, are overly controlling. Or simply try to control.
"Children look to parents to define what boundaries are and the consequences that can occur if the child crosses the boundaries," Health Line quotes Sharron Frederick, LCSW, a psychotherapist at Clarity Health Solutions. As a result, kids then either grow up knowing no boundaries at all, or are overly limited in all their deeds and actions. Neither is very good, you must agree.
#11
Trauma dumping.....
Jessica SpeLangm 1 day ago
Yeah, the kid doesn't need to know your horrible life before them. Just do better by your kid by not repeating bad history.
#12
Takes their 4 year old son to a bar at 11 pm, lets their siberian husky mix run around without any supervision and when their siberian husky mix tries to bite and maul another dog, say, "well she's never done that before!"
WORST TRASHIEST PARENT EVER OF CHILDREN AND ANIMALS!
"The saddest thing about this is not only that parents break the child's psyche with their actions, but also that such patterns tend to reproduce themselves in the future," says Maria Kryvosheeva, a psychologist and NLP coach, whom Bored Panda asked for a comment. "The fact is that many children involuntarily perceive such parenting techniques as something self-evident for their own families."
"As a result, when these children grow up, they sometimes can't cope with the attitudes from their childhood 'in their heads' and automatically harm their own family life. Or they simply spend long hours and days in therapy, trying to neutralize all the possible consequences of being raised by toxic parents," Maria sums up.
#13
I'm a HS teacher. I can tell pretty quickly in the year which kids have been raised by devices. It's alarming how more and more kids each year have phone anxiety, can't focus on any amount of work and won't interact with peers.
Montanavanna 2 hours ago
I just had my IEP renewal appointment with my sons school. He is 1st grade and special needs. I was given compliments because he likes books and will engage greatly with them. He is about 3 years behind his peers in math and reading development but ahead in so many other areas because we emphasize books and non tech activities.
#14
Saying their one kids sports equipment is really expensive (and getting it) while also complaining services for their adhd/autistic kid aren't free and won’t get the help they need.
Boredandsomea 1 day ago
Where are services for adhd/autism not free if is regarded as necessary.
#15
Putting Mountain Dew in their 9 month old child’s sippy cup, then yelling at the child for not taking a nap. I personally witnessed this. Abhorrent behavior.
In any case, even if you were lucky enough and your childhood was absolutely cloudless, we think that it will still be useful for you to read this collection of stories. At least to know that there are completely different cases in life, infinitely far from perfect. And, if you see something similar in others, to know how to react in such a case. So please feel free to read and always remember: "Forewarned is forearmed!"
#16
They threaten the child with burning in Hell.
Nathaniel He/Him Cis-Het 1 day ago
Paraphrasing George Carlin, because the parents LOVE their child.
#17
“Children should been seen and not heard”
“Don’t speak unless spoken to”.
#18
Screaming down the phone at me (a teacher) calling me a c**t and to do my job.
Nathaniel He/Him Cis-Het 1 day ago
Was the parent angry because you told their blessed little cherub to shut the hell up and pay attention in class?
#19
How they talk about their kids when they’re not present.
“She’s a brat.”
“He’s an idiot.”.
#20
Using the word "phase" in any context regarding their children's behavior just so they don't bother teaching them right from wrong.
Nathaniel He/Him Cis-Het 1 day ago (edited)
All this arson is just a phase. He'll grow out of it when he discovers girls and moves into a sexual assault phase.
#21
When they blatantly teach their kid bad habits and rude, inconsiderate behavior.
When I was a cashier at a supermarket, I had a customer, after ringing their stuff up and giving them their receipt, tell their kid to just leave their cart next to my register because someone will collect it, anyway.
While true, that speaks volumes as to what kind of person you are. Also, while it isn't being collected and put back in the corral, it becomes a hindrance for other customers who have carts, and could block the way for some customers if pushed aside, especially when the supermarket itself is small and narrow in terms of traversable space. I'd also end up wasting time going out of my booth and putting it back in the corral when the customer could've done all that on their own in the first place.
#22
Swearing and roaring explicits on a sideline of any match.
#23
When they use their child for a specific purpose, to get something that they want.
Jessica SpeLangm 1 day ago
Like social media content? That's abhorrent behavior and the children should be taken away from that parent.
#25
They have no schedule for their kids or simply never follow it.
Kathrin Pukowsky 53 minutes ago
I wonder what sort of schedule this is about. Having structure is a good thing, but I've heard about parents planning their child's day down to the minute, and that doesn't strike me as a good idea.
What do you think ?
Papa 3 hours ago
I have one that wasn't mentioned, though it refers to older children. People who don't teach their children to make decisions for themselves, or how to deal with adversity, so they're still dependent on their parents when they're young adults, are committing child abuse.
Scott Rackley 1 hour ago
I hear you on the adversity. If one really minor thing goes wrong they throw their hands up and quit.
Load More Replies... Papa 3 hours ago
I have one that wasn't mentioned, though it refers to older children. People who don't teach their children to make decisions for themselves, or how to deal with adversity, so they're still dependent on their parents when they're young adults, are committing child abuse.
Scott Rackley 1 hour ago
I hear you on the adversity. If one really minor thing goes wrong they throw their hands up and quit.
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